The Life and Times of S.R. Braddy

The World Inside

2012-02-09T12:27:00.000-08:00

I sat down to do a drawing one day and couldn't decide on a single thing to draw... so I decided to draw EVERY single thing.

I see this picture as a HUGE experiment - I tried several different techniques here for the first time. I think my proudest techniques are the intricate cross-hatching I lifted from observing some of Stan Sakai's great work on Usagi Yojimbo and the shadow in the haze just below that. I've always thought smoke was difficult to draw, but this worked out okay.

I tried to fit in a wide variety of fantasy-style stories - and I even managed to squeeze in an old friend.

Braddy and Bacon (Not What You Think)

2012-02-08T08:19:00.001-08:00

Apparently, I’m getting a bit baby-hungry, which is weird and kinda gross.

Babies aren’t exactly the scary foreign entities they used to be once upon a time. I’ve had quite a bit of time to acclimate myself to them and their fluids – after all, I’m a thrice-times nuncle now, so I’ve had quite a bit of experience with the little ones. I draw the line at diapers, but I’m finally not afraid to hold a baby.

And that’s where things start to change. My little brother, who looks almost exactly like me despite being two years younger, brought his little bouncing goblin up for Christmastime. The baby (who I like to call Bacon) fussed quite a bit – as babies do. Bacon got passed around from relative to relative, but none of them could get him to stop crying. Surprisingly, he seemed to calm down when I held him, and I even got him to smile that toothless baby smile.

We think it’s a simple case of mistaken identity – my brother studies math at BYU, so he generally has to keep his face clean-shaven. Over the summer break, just after Bacon was born, he stayed home and played daddy while his wife went to work, and he let his beard grow out. I, who have never had to kowtow to ridiculous anti-shaving prejudice, was fully bearded during the Yuletide season, so something about my voluptuously virile visage soothed the savage sniffler.

Still, the kid freakin’ loves me, and that is awesome.

Catching Up with the Classics: The Maltese Falcon

2012-02-07T09:13:00.000-08:00

Thanks go out to my friend Larissa who provided me with the opportunity to watch The Maltese Falcon – a movie I’ve known only by reputation and not by… anything else you could know a movie by. I only had a basic understanding of what the movie was about, and after watching it, I know just as much now as I did before.

The Maltese Falcon is incredibly dialog heavy. I’m guessing that, due to more stringent content restrictions at the time (or perhaps technical limitations), they couldn’t actually SHOW much of the gritty content that would have made this plot of intrigue, betrayal, and greed more coherent. As it was, they had to rely on a lot of dialog that both Larissa and I found difficult to follow.

I’m sure that difficult was due ENTIRELY to the complexity of the plot and had nothing at ALL to do with the fact that we were both sugar-crashing after eating a huge ice cream sundae.

Objects in camera are tastier than they appear.

I saw Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca and actually kinda hated him there – he’s too wooden to be a convincing romantic lead. However, as unethical detective Sam Spade, Bogart shows that he has a lot more range as an actor that I gave him credit for. He KILLS the part.

(Just for fun, if you want to play The Maltese Falcon drinking game, simply down a shot every time Sam Spade makes a phone call. You’ll be smashed before intermission.)

Also, Peter Lorre is in the film, and Peter Lorre makes EVERYTHING better. He’s so good at these sniveling, conniving characters that you just love to hate him… or hate to love him. Either way, you feel dirty and never want to be clean again.

I feel about The Maltese Falcon the same way I felt after watching Ghajini – I don’t quite know what I saw, and I’m not even sure I liked it, but I’m pretty sure I want more of it. I’m drawn to the old-school, hard-boiled detective model, and I saw a lot in The Maltese Falcon to like. Character motivations are complex, and, sometimes, I kinda dig a story where NO ONE is likeable, which is certainly the case here. Moral ambiguity in fiction is like cheesecake – delicious, sinfully rich and probably really bad for you.

Truly Truly Truly Outrageous

2012-02-06T11:54:00.000-08:00

Who doesn’t love a lazy Sunday? A whole afternoon to spend reading a good book, hang out with friends, visit family, watch hours of Jem and The Holograms…

Wait, what was that last one again?

I don’t know if I was too young or what, but I never really watched He-Man, Transformers, or GI Joe when I was a kid. I missed out on most of the “cartoon designed specifically to sell toys” genre (although I did get a healthy dose of Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles). I picked up Jem at the library as… I dunno, something of an experiment. I can’t explain why I’ve been so interested in traditionally girly entertainment recently, but here we are.

Okay, so Jem and The Holograms is, surprisingly, pretty bad. Still, holy crap, I actually kinda loved it. I mean, between the sappy dialog, flashy animation, and out-RAG-eous characters, there’s a lot of cheese to fall in love with.

The plot of the show makes NO SENSE at all. Jerrica leads a double-life as stage performer Jem thanks to a sophisticated holographic system her father invented and called Synergy. Why exactly Jerrica has to pull the Hannah Montana routine I was never clear on. For that matter, I never understood why Hannah Montana had to pull the Hannah Montana routine, but whatever.

The Holograms spend their time making 80s-tastic music videos when their not… um… running a foster care center? Meanwhile, their musical enterprises are often sabotaged by The Misfits, a band with no artistic objectives other than to be as horrible as possible. I guess we now know where Kanye West drew his inspiration from.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

I think the highlight episode for me was “Danse Time,” in which The Holograms’ lead dancer, named (I &^%$ you not) Danse, sprains her ankle and has to go through months and months of physical therapy before she can walk again. Meanwhile, local billionaire Xanthos (who is NOT, despite the name, a super villain) sponsors a video contest which will award $250,000 to the music act who puts together the best video espousing the virtues of friendship and goodwill. Jem and her band have a great song, but to win the contest they will need Danse’s help. Will their friend be able to dance in time for The Holograms to enter the contest?

Spoiler alert: OF COURSE SHE WILL!

I loved just about everything in this episode. I mean, first of all, there’s Xanthos, who’s got to be the worst philanthropist ever – he decides that the best way to spend his $250,000 to promote world peace is to give that money away to a group that composes a third-rate “We Are the World” knockoff rather than, I don't know, funding a literacy program or something.

Then you’ve got The Misfits, who enter the contest purely for the profit. They decide that the best way to promote peace and friendship is to dress up as candy and perform their song standing inside a giant gumball dispenser. Seriously – this is a thing that happens.

The best part, of course, has to be the drama surrounding Danse’s rehab. The doctor tells her that she may not ever be able to dance again (which would be really unfortunate – she’d have to change her name to Limp). She eventually meets a young man named Sisko, who is blind. They, of course, fall in love, and then they share this bit of dialog.

SISKO – I heard that you’re a good dancer.

DANSE – How did you know?

ME – BRILLIANT!

All joking aside, I was pretty impressed with Jem and The Holograms – not for what it was, but for what it had the potential to be. Since there have been so many updates of “classic” franchises recently, I seriously think it may be time for someone to take a look at Jem and The Holograms. Get some decent musical talent behind it (and hire a decent writer to come up with some convincing motivation for these characters) and there’s a chance that this show could be REALLY good.

I’m not actually volunteering for the writing job, by the way. But if I WERE to write Jem and The Holograms 2012, you’d better believe The Misfits would interrupt an award ceremony to point out Beyonce just wrote the best song ever. Also, I’d probably have to write a guest spot for Andre 3000, just to be groovy.

The Long and Winding Road to Braddy's Blog

2012-02-03T10:32:00.001-08:00

Here we go again - I've been getting some... STRANGE hits on my blog. Thankfully, I can access a list of the search terms people have been using to get to some of my posts. Have a look (and a giggle).

mt receding hairline - That's in the Appalachians, I think

clean living, chum batman - Which leads you to one of the best comic panels ever

best sexist pictures - Speaking of sexism...

mother gothel curvy - ...what? Are Rapunzel's mother's assets really the most important aspect of her character?

me:why am i still single? - If you have to ask Google why you're still single, I think we might already have the answer.

tatiyana@nirvam.it] - She's such a nice girl...

fergie in my hump - Um... ew.
city place imaging aurora, "braddy" - I don't even know what they were TRYING to look for.

rick astley awkward - You take that back! Rick Astley's the best!

"seven deadly sins" + "wrath" + "abstract painting" - I'm pretty sure this isn't what they were looking for.

In other news, I've started attending a book club as of last night, very kindly organized by my friend heidikins. So now I've got a bit more direction in finding new material to read, which is awesome. Our first book is... My Name is Asher Lev.

Oh well. The next book will be a new one.

Wish I Said It First #17

2012-02-01T14:55:00.000-08:00

#17

"I don’t think G rated is a bad thing. Maybe what it’s become has been a pandering toy commercial. I think that any old black and white movie you find could be considered G rated, but they can make you cry, and people can die. There can be suspense and horror, and all kinds of stuff. It just isn’t done in a gratuitous and pornographic way. I think that’s perfectly fine."

-Jill Thompson, author of Scary Godmother, via an interview with NYC Graphic (the whole article's pretty cool, by the way)

Resolution Check - One Month Later

2012-02-01T11:01:00.000-08:00

In an effort to create some semblance of accountability, I'm doing a quick check-up on the goals I posted here at the beginning of the year. Here's how I'm doing so far:

30 Minutes of Writing Per Day - So far, so good.

One Quick Sketch Per Weekday - I've phoned it in a couple of days, but I've been doing pretty well here.

One Drawn "Scene" Per Week - I, um, actually forgot about this goal. I've got, like, one and a half "scenes." But I've been doing some pretty good sketches, so I'll call it good.

6 Books Read By Year's End From This List - One down, five to go.

12 Books Read Total - I'm joining a book club, so I'll be able to hit the twelve-book mark pretty easily.

Watch 6 Movies From This List - Nothing yet, but this averages out to one movie every other month. I'm not worried yet.

Eliminate the Word "Um" from My Spoken Vocabulary - Okay... this one has been really HARD. Need to do better.

So I've got some work to do, obviously, but the month of January was really promising. Here's hoping the rest of 2012 goes as well!

Why I'm Still Single 41

2012-01-31T13:18:00.000-08:00

Braddy Reads Pride and Prejudice. No, Seriously.

2012-01-30T09:53:00.000-08:00

I’ve been building up to this for a while. Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice has been on my list of books to read for several years. Originally, I just wanted to see what the hubbub was about; after all, Pride and Prejudice is often considered to be THE romance novel. I was curious to discover why so many people adore this book, much in the same way I’ve been curious about Twilight in the past.

Thankfully, my curiosity here was better rewarded than with Stephanie Meyers’s work.

I read the opening chapter to Pride and Prejudice in Francine Prose’s book, and I was immediately drawn to these incredible characters Jane Austen created in Elizabeth Bennet’s parents. Actually, I don’t think “incredible” is the word I want. It’s probably better to say “unbelievable,” as in, “Did Mrs. Bennet REALLY just say that? That’s unbelievable!”

Many of these characters, from the ridiculously romantic Lydia Bennet to the comically austere Mr. Collins, are complete caricatures. It almost defies belief. I just… People get that this is satire, right? They have to – I mean, subtlety is not exactly Austen’s strong point here. Heck, there’s one paragraph of Elizabeth’s internal monolog where she basically says, “I wish I could love Mr. Darcy, but I have such a strong PREJUDICE against his abhorrent PRIDE.” You can almost hear Jane Austen yelling “GET IT???” from nearly two hundred years ago.

Okay, so I mentioned caricatures. That was the biggest surprise in reading Pride and Prejudice – it’s genuinely (and often) funny. Elizabeth’s dry wit is the perfect tool to deconstruct the rigid absurdity of courtship rituals among the elite. She ably points out the shortcomings and foolishness in some of the dated practices and attitudes of her peers (which is where the satires comes in).

And yet… Elizabeth herself is not above reproach. Yes, she’s sharp-witted and cynical, and we love her for it. However, her skepticism and incredulity nearly cost the love of Mr. Darcy (or so she fears). It’s a satire wherein no one is safe; or, rather, everyone (including the POV character) is in need of some improvement, and, when that improvement is made, there is cause to rejoice.

Lemme just sum up – Pride and Prejudice was MUCH better than I expected. Heck, I’ll just say it – I really liked it. A lot. The book’s well-written (if a bit too wordy at times), funny, insightful, and relatable. Also… Elizabeth Bennet may be my new dream girl.

But that’s probably a conversation for another time.

Ovalicious

2012-01-27T12:52:00.000-08:00

I thought it was a simple system. How do you say something is circle-shaped? You say "circular." If an object is triangle-shaped, you say "triangular." So if an object is oval-shaped, you say "ovul..."

Wait, that sounds like something else.

Turns out there IS a word for "oval-shaped" (other than "oval-shaped," which you could ARGUE is one word based on the hyphen, but you'd be totally wrong and significantly less handsome than I am for saying so). The word is "oviform," which means... "formed like an oval."

Actually, now I'm wondering if there's a linguistic connection between the words "oval" (which you teach to a preschooler) and "ova" (which your preschooler asks you about and you blush). There probably is, but I don't wanna look it up.

*EDIT* - Apparently, the words ARE connected. Thanks, heidikins!

The Question of Art, or, Why Braddy Hates Hipsters

2012-01-25T12:03:00.001-08:00

Ever see a picture that looks like it was drawn in MS Paint or something and cock an eyebrow? The comment I usually hear is something along the lines of, "Is this art?"

You know what? Screw that question.

The question "What is art?" is hugely problematic and always bugs me. See, when I hear someone asking what art IS, I get the impression that they're more interested in what art ISN'T. I think the question is most often applied to commercial art, where the attitude seems to be "If everyone likes it, then it must not be any good."

If there ever was a reason to hate hipsters, this is it. I remember sitting in once on a conversation (that sounds so much nicer than "eavesdropping," doesn't it?) some friends had about a song they both loved. They had a little bit of a dance party while they played the song on their iPod. Eventually, this song that they loved so much - "Home" by Edward Sharpe and the Magnetic Zeros - got a lot of exposure on commercials and television. I mentioned this to one of my friends, only to hear her say, "Man, the song sucks now."

Frankly, that's a terrible attitude. You can argue that the song is overplayed, or that the band sold out, but those are issues that have little to do with the basic QUALITY of the piece. When you hear a good song, watch an awesome movie, or see something that makes you smile, you should want to SHARE it with people. Otherwise, what's the point?

Oh, you mean the point is to maintain a fragile sense of superiority over others? Sorry, my bad. Carry on, then.

Hey, Look! Braddy Still Draws!

2012-01-24T17:28:00.000-08:00

So I've been a bit uninspired when I've taken pen to paper to draw. To break through the funk, I drew some "fan art" - taking scenes and characters from some of my favorites stories.

I haven't mentioned Usagi Yojimbo much here at all, despite the fact that it's one of my all-time favorite comics. Love this guy.

Man, does anyone NOT love Calvin and Hobbes?

You're wrong. The answer is "Nobody doesn't like Calvin and Hobbes."

Dude, I LOVE Batman. Like, with all my heart and soul and stuff. But he's a COMPLETELY silly concept, so why not make him look silly sometimes?

That's... um... that's a scene from Pride and Prejudice.

Yes it is.

Braddy Reads Anya's Ghost

2012-01-19T22:20:00.001-08:00

I'd seen this book on a lot of shelves recently, and something about it always caught my interest. Not enough to actually READ it for several months, but I kept going back to it, until, finally, I put it on hold at the library and had it shipped up to me.

Turns out I've actually read some of Anya's Ghost author Vera Brosgol's other comics work in the Flight anthology of comics. She put out a couple of good pieces there (including this one), but I really didn't remember much about her until I read her bio at the end of Anya's Ghost and looked her up again. I love it when that happens.

Anyways, Anya's Ghost tells the story of a high school girl, the daughter of a Russian immigrant, who stumbles across the skeleton of a long-dead girl and suddenly finds herself haunted.

The art style is pretty reminiscent of the Scott Pilgrim - it shares both the large, cartoony shapes and slightly-hipster wannabe tone. That, by the way, is a good thing - the comic pages are easy to look at, easy to read, and expressive without being showy.

The real focus of the story is Anya herself - her insecurities about her family background, her desires to fit in at school, and her body issues. Anya's a great character - one of the most believable teenage girls I've read in a long time. Her story is one I felt was worth reading mainly because it felt so NORMAL.

Except, you know, for the whole ghost thing.

Anyway, it's a quick read (about an hour or so) and a great YA book, in the same vein as American Born Chinese, another great book which, sadly, I've not yet mentioned on my blog. Well worth checking out.

The Lyrical Genius of Matthew Wilder

2012-01-13T11:29:00.000-08:00

No, seriously. Let me be freakin' happy today.

Braddy's Dream Roles

2012-01-12T09:35:00.000-08:00

The Les Mis buzz I posted about yesterday got me thinking about my life on the stage, as it were. Actually, I've been to see a lot of plays and performances recently, so theatre's been on my mind quite a bit. You know what? I kinda miss it.

It's been over a year since the last time I was on stage in a professional production. I've been doing improv with the Jesters Royale regularly since then, and it's been a blast, but it's not quite the same as spending hours in rehearsal, sweating over lines, and getting into arguments with the costumer.

Hm. Not exactly a pretty picture, is it? Trust me - it's better than it sounds.

I won't be able to do a show of any kind for several months at least - maybe longer. Still, I'm already dreaming of the limelight again. And, while I'm dreaming, I might as well fantasize about some roles I'd LOVE to play - even though I'm PROBABLY not the best choice for any of them.

Benedick, Much Ado About Nothing

If there's one role I'm TOTALLY suited for, it's this one. I'm not exactly the strongest Shakespearean actor, but I love the Bard and MOST of his works (I'm of the opinion that Hamlet is overrated - see below). Much Ado About Nothing is far and away my favorite Shakespeare play. I sympathize quite a bit with Benedick, the belligerently single soldier who secretly longs for someone to understand him...

That was... a bit more revealing than I'd intended. Let's move on.

Jamie Wellerstein, The Last 5 Years

I first heard "The Schmuel Song" nearly ten years ago without any idea of where it came from. When my friend Carolyn sat me down and played The Last Five Years for me, I about punched holes in the ceiling, I was so excited.

This is a true "dream" role - I don't quite have the range to hit Jamie's highest notes. Also, I'm not Jewish. But the story of a struggling author who hits it big (and subsequently lets his life go to crap) touches me, and I'd love a chance to tell his story on stage.

Rosencrantz, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

Truthfully, I'd take just about any role in this production. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is one of the finest plays ever written. It's funny without ever getting too silly and thought-provoking without ever getting too heavy. Tom Stoppard single-handedly justified the existence of Hamlet, as far as I'm concerned.

Now, I'd probably do a better job of portraying the more straight-laced, analytical Guildenstern, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't prefer the goofier Rosencrantz rants. And by "lying," I mean "lying in a box with a lid on it."

Javert, Les Miserables
Chauvelin, The Scarlet Pimpernel

There's just something about playing an uptight police officer during the French Revolution that appeals to me...

No question - Javert is one of the finest roles in all of musical theater. His dogged persecution of the criminal Jean Valjean never falters, drawing strength from his unshakable conviction that he is right. The instant it appears he may be incorrect, his world shatters - making his a truly tragic tale. His music's pretty good, too.

Chauvelin's pretty similar to Javert. What he lacks in moral complexity, he more than makes up for in just darn good music. "Falcon in the Dive" is probably one of my favorite Broadway numbers - it's dramatic and over-the-top in all the right ways.

(poster by Manelle Oliphant Miller, who is awesome)

Mortimer Brewster, Arsenic and Old Lace

Maybe I'm cheating a little bit here. I have, after all, already done this role at the Empress Theater. The thing is, Arsenic and Old Lace is the best producion I've ever been involved in and Mortimer Brewster my favorite role I've ever played. I would LOVE to do it all again.

Especially after a couple more years of improv comedy training. My ability to do physical comedy has increased quite a bit since the summer of 2009. I'm still no Carey Grant, but I think I could actually do the part justice now.

So that's my list. Theater folks, what are YOUR favorite/dream roles?

The Les Mis Cast Raises Some Concerns...

2012-01-11T12:50:00.001-08:00

Hey, there's a big-screen adaptation of the Les Miserables musical coming soon. That's cool. I love that show. I wonder who's in it...

Hugh Jackman... Okay, I can get behind that. He's a talented singer and a big enough name to attract some attention all on his lonesome. Who else... Russell Crowe... Anne Hathaway...

Wait, WHO'S THAT?

That's... That's really strange.

Okay, some people might think I dislike Taylor Swift (although I have NO idea where they'd get that idea). Truth is, she's really good at what she does... which is pop country. Pop. Country. Not Broadway showtunes. Popcountry.

I'm not even saying she'll do a bad job. She'll probably be fine. I mean, she has a pretty voice, and Eponine's songs rely on a bit more tragic sweetness than full-force belting. Taylor swift's voice may even be a good match for this role.

Still, it's obvious that most of these roles are being filled by people with name recognition over those with perhaps more suitable talent. On the other side of the pop star casting, you get Helena Bonham Carter, who didn't exactly impress with her singing in Sweeney Todd. Again, she'll probably do fine in the role she's playing - Madame Thenardier is a GREAT character role, and Helena Bonham Carter is a GREAT character actress. Outside of the music, the casting is ideal.

I don't understand this desire in Hollywood to take big names and stuff them into roles that they'll be mediocre at. You wind up with excellent talent like Gerard Butler and Pierce Brosnan, and they sound EMBARASSING. You COULD staff your musical with more players like Taylor Swift, but then you run the risk of embarassing yourself in other ways. Hope Miss Swift remembers her drama club lessons... did she even GO to high school?

Imagine if the folks behind Les Mis had let themselves get carried away with this trend - casting popular musicians in roles JUST for a fancier marquee.

"Who are we casting now? Jean Valjean? What's this guy's story? High singing voice? Okay, here's who you get."

"Who's next... Thenardier? What's he, a comic relief guy, right? We need someone a little goofy... Got it!"

"All right, we're on a roll. Last one... Gavroche? A kid? Oh, this is easy."

Okay, cynicism aside, this looks like it could be a good movie. Most of the casting choices MAKE SENSE, once you get past the initial eyebrow raise. And, personally, I'm really excited to see Sasha Baron Cohen in another musical role. Guy's impressed me, and that's something I never thought I'd say about Borat.

What's the Matter with Kids? Not Too Much.

2012-01-10T12:19:00.000-08:00

Here I sit - twenty-ex years old, an aspiring storyteller with a four-year degree in writing to my credit, and working on the second draft of a novel I actually hope to publish someday in the near future - and I'm starting to realize that the best stories I have ever read were cranked out by people with no formal training or "legitimate" experience.

Makes the thousands of dollars I spent on my Bachelor's feel like a waste of money.

I read a lot of comics - everything from superhero works to some more historical material. A lot of it's just for fun, although sometimes I come across something genuinely thought-provoking. It's great when I find something that can be both. Amazingly enough, three of the best comics I've read all year were written by children.

No joke. I seriously love these comics. First up we have a comic I've linked to before: 7-year-old Katie Mignola's "The Magician and the Snake" (drawn by her father, Mike Mignola).

There's not a lot of context here, but the basic story of two friends soon to be separated by death is told with a sincerity most writers have to work REALLY HARD to fake.

Also submitted for your consideration is "Kistapher Cumulus," a story told by the eleven-year-old sister of my friend, Dashbo.

That's a cloud whose job it is to sink boats on the ocean. TELL me that doesn't sound like a Pixar short right there.

The third example is, sadly, not one I have a visible example of - my cousin's son drew a comic adapted from an episode of Spongebob Squarepants, replacing the characters Spongebob and Patrick with Calvin and Hobbes - an alteration I have no problem with. Now, even though the jokes and dialog are ripped almost word-for-word from the episode (or so I hear - I haven't watched the show), I have to tell you that the kid's PACING is brilliant. It's hard to break down fluid actions between static panels, as you have to do in a comic, and my cousin's kid (can I just call him my cousin?) does it in such a way that I was totally drawn in to the story.

Okay, so lesson time. While one COULD see these stories as proof that talent matters more than anything else - an "either you've got it or you don't" philosophy, I think that the important thing to note is what these children do that makes their stories work.

They actually draw a complete story. Just because the art isn't as detailed as *cough* grown up art doesn't detract from the significance that these kids took time from their busy day of school, homework, and whatever else kids do these days (Pokemon?) to work on something they loved.
All three kids have familial support. Katie Mignola got her dad to help with the artwork. "Kistapher's" author got her work posted online by her brother. My cousin's parents passed his book around at a family party. Creative types need support from their loved ones, and that encouragement leads to great things. Have you hugged an artist today?
There's definitely something to be said for a child's ability to let their imaginations run amok. The simplicity of the emotions on display - not dolled up or couched in hours of exposition - make them a lot more intense and effective than they would be otherwise.

Sorry, CSNY. Maybe the kids should be teaching US.

Braddy Reads Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children

2012-01-09T14:08:00.000-08:00

I picked this book up at the recommendation of a friend who knows I like young adult fiction. The book promises some big stuff - a mystery narrative featuring antique photographs of bizarre people. The author, Random Riggs, collected a bunch of old photos and constructs a story around them featuring mystic locations, horrifying monsters, and a lot of bizarre children.

It's a solid story; however, despite the haunting and unnatural photographs used for the foundation, the book feels a little conventional.

Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children could have had this really good, creepy vibe. I mean, the pictures the author chooses to incorporate into the tale are beautiful in their eeriness. Here are a couple of examples from the Amazon entry on the book:

Even the picture on the front cover is a little creepy (in case you can't make it out, the little girl is not actually standing on solid ground but appears to be floating in the air). Everything about the book's image promises to take you somewhere not entirely comfortable, somewhere a little bizarre. I hate to say it, but it's a bit like the promise of the circus sideshow - the things you see will be awe-inspiring and uncomfortable at the same time.

I think that's why I was so disappointed in this book. I obviously expected horror, and I got...

The "peculiar" traits of the children are treated like super powers. Miss Peregrine and her orphans live in a home where they can live unmolested by a population who fears their differences. Heck, I think one of the antagonists even uses the phrase "genetic superiority."

That's not to say there's not a place for a good X-Men story, and this IS a pretty good story in that vein. The characters are your typical rebellious teenagers, the "peculiar" concepts are well-executed, and there's even a pretty decent twist towards the end.

Miss Peregrine's Home is not BAD at all. If you know what to expect, hopefully you won't be quite as disappointed as I was.

Wish I Said it First #16

2012-01-06T19:03:00.000-08:00

#16

"'I wonder who first discovered the efficacy of poetry in driving away love!' [said Elizabeth.]

'I have been used to consider poetry as the food of love,' said Darcy.

'Of a fine, stout, healthy love it may. Everything nourishes what is strong already. But if it be only a slight, thin sort of inclination, I am convinced that one good sonnet will starve it entirely away.'"

- Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

Catching Up with the Classics: 12 Angry Men

2012-01-05T09:28:00.000-08:00

I actually watched this movie last week, which is why it doesn't appear on the list. Technically, though, 12 Angry Men is one of the FIRST classic movies I selected to fill the gap in my life.

And... well, it's pretty good, but I've seen better.

The central message of the film is pretty strong - it's all about civic duty and the importance of one man's life. I'm pretty sure that the investigation these jurors undertake goes a bit over the line - in fact, there's one bit of evidence submitted that is clearly said to be illegal. Still, the casualness and callousness with which eleven men are willing to pass judgment on another's life is worth questioning, and that's what the film does.

There are some pretty powerful moments - I'm especially fond of how the racist Juror #10 is pretty brutally shut down after his diatribe. I think my favorite moment may have been the exchange between Jurors #8 and #4. #4 was by far my favorite - his motivation was clear, and he seemed to let logic dictate his actions.

The entire film, with maybe a couple minutes excepted, takes place in a single room. The audience feels the same stifling claustrophobia the jurors do. It's actually a well-executed effect.

If there's one TECHNICAL problem that I have with the film, it's the dramatization of some of the shots. The story is simple enough that it doesn't need extreme camera angles to make its point - the strength of 12 Angry Men is in its dialog and the strength of its characterizations. So, when they're employed, some of the close up shots come off a little too... intense.

I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti.

Still, 12 Angry Men is a solid movie. It's a classic, and deservedly so.

Why I'm Still Single 40

2012-01-05T08:27:00.000-08:00

I don't think that's too much to ask.

If Writers from History Wrote Harry Potter

2012-01-04T13:23:00.001-08:00

I stumbled across a link today, speculating what Twilight would look like if written by authors of classic literature. Now, even I'M getting tired of Twilight jokes - they're just WAY TOO EASY to make. Classical literature jokes, on the other hand, will never not be awesome.

If you want to check out the Twilight jokes, feel free, but be warned that, in keeping with the traditions of classical literature, there's a lot of disturbing stuff. For the squeamish types who like their comedy G-rated, here are a couple of my favorites:

Virginia Woolf
The novel takes place over the course of twenty four hours, during which Bella is painting a portrait of Edward and reflecting on how her femininity circumscribes her role within 20th century society.

Kate Chopin
Stifled by her marriage to Edward, Bella has an affair with Jacob and then drowns herself.

Lewis Carroll
Bella takes acid and charts syllogisms.

Flannery O'Connor
When Native American werewolf Jacob threatens her with death, Bella reconsiders her hardcore racism, and just for one milisecond, the audience finds her sympathetic.

Annie Proulx
Edward and Jacob defy society's expectations up in the mountains.

My first thought after reading these was, "Why let these people have all the fun?"

Actually, my first thought was likely, "Heh. Edward and Jacob are gay." My SECOND thought would have been... probably something about Batman. But my THIRD thought was, "Why let these people have all the fun?"

So, with respect to J.K Rowling, here's how the Harry Potter series would have turned out if written by the great authors of classical literature:

Charles Dickens
Harry is a poor orphan who is abused and neglected by an overly industrialized society until Dumbledore, saddened over the increasingly desperate plight of the house elves, offers Harry a chance to escape his poverty by enrolling in school.

Mark Twain
Despite a strong humanitarian message and a clever portrayal of accurate English dialects in text, parent groups protest the Harry Potter series, offended by repeat usage of the racial slur, "muggle."

Sylvia Plath
Hermione attends Hogwarts after winning a write-in contest to the Daily Prophet. Frustrated by the limitations placed on wizarding women by society, she slowly slips into depression. Madam Pomfrey elects to subject Hermione to the experimental and dangerous "Electro Convulsio" spell to break her despondency.

Arthur Miller
When Arthur Weasley's job with the Misuse of Muggle Artifacts office fails to provide the family with enough money to send their youngest children to Hogwarts, he commits suicide so his family can cash in on his insurance policy.

George Orwell
Harry organizes the students of Hogwarts to ward off an attack by fascist wizards led by He Who Must Not Be Named. They fail. Harry is next seen begging for change on the streets of London mumbling the words, "I Love Voldemort."

Samuel Beckett
Headmaster Dumbledore instructs the staff and students of Hogwarts to prepare for the arrival of Harry Potter, rumored to be the only survivor of an attack by He Who Shall Not Be Named. Harry never shows up.

Catching Up with the Classics: The Initial List

2012-01-02T10:50:00.000-08:00

True story: Once upon a time, I hated movies.

Well, not ALL movies. I developed a philosophy back in college that anything which entertains you must also edify you in some way. It isn't enough for a movie to be funny or exciting. It has to be thought provoking as well.

At the time, my opinion earned me a pretty sticky "snob" label - and, I don't know, maybe I deserve it. I do have a tendency to condemn movies that look stupid without ever watching them (*ahem*).

Recently, though, I've decided that it's a far better use of my time to talk about the stuff I LIKE rather than the stuff I think is silly - unless it's silly in a good way.

I don't talk about it much on the blog here, but I LOVE old silent comedies - Charlie Chaplin's quickly become one of my heroes. I've gotten a lot out of watching classic silent films. As with literature, when something's called a "classic," there's USUALLY a reason behind it (although every rule has exceptions).

There's been a bit of a gap in my film knowledge, though. I love silent films, and I love "modern" classics, but there are a LOT of classic movies that I know nothing about beyond the word "Rosebud."

So that's what this list is about. Here are movies I'm planning on watching to brush up a bit on film history. This is, by no means, a COMPREHENSIVE list - I'm ALWAYS open to suggestions (hint hint). Eventually, I'm hoping to get into some more international films, but I'm focusing just on American films for now.

Citizen Kane
The Graduate
The Maltese Falcon
Rear Window
Vertigo
The Manchurian Candidate
A Night at the Opera
Sherlock Jr.
The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
The Wizard of Oz

New Year's Resolutions: 2012

2012-01-01T21:54:00.000-08:00

I, um, did not do a very good job with my resolutions last year.

1 - Daily Sketches - FAIL
2 - Write 250 Words a Day - FAIL
3 - Complete a Second Draft - FAIL
4 - Write and Draw 4 Comics - FAIL
5 - Start Saving for a Vacation - FAI... well, I sorta did that one. But I don't think it's a vacation I'm saving for anymore.

It's enough to make one give up on the whole idea of the New Year's resolution. Yet here we are anyway.

I like the idea that there's a day on the calendar that we dedicate to goal setting and new beginnings - even though I don't always follow through, I enjoy taking the time to evaluate where I'm at and where I need to go. The trouble, though, comes when I notice that the same things need improvement year after year.

Pope John Paul II once said (No he didn't.), "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again but expecting different results." That seems to be about what's been happening to me lately - I want my life to change, but I haven't been doing much to actually achieve that change, nor have I even seemed to pinpoint exactly what change is needed. It's something I'll be going over with my therapist a lot during 2012.

Anyway, we'll leave those existential matters for another day. Here are some... less heavy... goals to focus on for now:

30 Minutes of Writing Per Day
One Quick Sketch Per Weekday
One Drawn "Scene" Per Week
6 Books Read By Year's End From This List
12 Books Read Total (hey, I need ONE easy goal)
Watch 6 Movies from the List of Films I Want to See Before I Die (forthcoming)
Eliminate the Word "Um" from My Spoken Vocabulary (really, this is just a goal to slow down and think more BEFORE I open my mouth to speak)

Some of my old, less-than-constructive habits have traditionally gotten in the way of achieving these goals, so I'm going to make one additional lifestyle change: No TV until after 9:00 at night on weekdays. Often, I'll come home from work, prop my feet up, and stick in a DVD for Burn Notice or something, with the thought, "I had a hard day - I've EARNED the right to goof off a bit." If there's one attitude that I need to change, THAT'S it.

My therapist might not agree, but he's not here right now.

Tintin: Not Too Terrifying After All

2011-12-29T10:09:00.000-08:00

I've been watching the development of The Adventures of Tintin with a bit of excitement and some trepidation. Going in to the movie, I knew it would be difficult to separate my feelings for the source material from the experience of watching the film - always a danger when going in to any adaptation. Judging the film on its own merits was a bit difficult, but, all in all, The Adventures of Tintin made for a fun moviegoing experience.

Part of the reason that it was so difficult to look at Tintin as a separate experience from the comics is that there are SO MANY different stories brought together. The Adventures of Tintin was meant to be an adaptation of two Tintin stories - The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham's Treasure, but I noticed prominent scenes and characters from at least FIVE different stories mashed together. It's probably not something that would bother most people; however, I'm not sure that the selected scenes worked together well.

It makes sense that, when introducing a new intellectual property to the masses, you'd want to select more recognizable elements to attract the largest audience possible. All the different scenes selected for Tintin do work well...ish. I noticed a few lapses in logic during certain transitions between set pieces - getting the characters from one recognizable locale to the other didn't always make sense. Maybe someone who isn't so familiar with the Tintin comics wouldn't be bothered so much by it.

There's a big tonal change from the comics to the movie as well. The comics emphasize comedy a bit more, while the movie's more about the action. Unfortunately, this means the comic elements of the movie (ie. the Thomson/Thompson pairing) feel out of place - but not cripplingly so.

As for the action... well, it's AWESOME. Fight scenes that last only a panel or two in the comics are extended for several minutes, and, while it is a bit over the top, it's a LOT of fun to watch. Especially notable are Tintin's escape from an enemy boat and a flashback involving Captain Haddock's ancestor and the pirate, Red Rackham. The animation allows for some amazing stunt choreography that wouldn't really work in any other medium.

Speaking of the animation, I'll admit to being a bit worried about the Zemeckis-style motion capture, but it actually works really well. Tintin himself and the villain look GREAT, and the other characters, whose exaggerated features come straight from the original art, aren't off-putting at all as I first thought they would be. Seeing these character in motion is actually pretty delightful - you can see the essence of the actor behind the character (Daniel Craig and Andy Serkis do especially well), but the visual is all animation, and pretty well-rendered animation at that.

The 3-D still sucks, though, and adds just about nothing to the experience.

Surprisingly, I think my favorite part of the movie is the opening title sequence - which sounds like a diss, I know, but isn't meant to be. I never really realized it before, but I'm a bit of a sucker for a well-executed title sequence, and Tintin has one of the best I've ever seen. I'd almost say the movie's worth the price of admission just for the opening credits.

The rest of the film, though, is pretty great, despite some weaknesses in the writing. The motion capture is good, the acting is fine, and the action is top-notch. The Adventures of Tintin probably won't win any awards, but it's definitely worth a watch if you're into some good action.

Braddy Reads Leadership and Self-Deception

2011-12-28T13:24:00.001-08:00

I'm not really much for business/self-help books, but I read this one after a friend recommended it... mainly to the absurd number of leadership positions I had come down with (I got better).

The Arbinger Institute's Leadership and Self-Deception discusses how people tend to let their inflated egos get in the way of accurately assessing and responding to the needs of others. Mainly, the Arbinger Institute seems concerned with how this self-deception (which they describe as being "in the box") inhibits productivity at work; however, they DO detail why this attitude can be damaging to home life.

Basically, being "in the box" means adopting an attitude that reduces other people to objects or obstacles. Someone in the box can't acknowledge the needs of others because he or she is too caught up in their own selfish needs while actually condemning others for being selfish themselves. It's an important point, and most people (myself included) could benefit from looking into their self-deception.

However, the book seems to be more concerned with advertising the Arbinger Institute's program. The business slant is evident right up to the use of near-meaningless slogans like being "in the box." Reading the book felt a bit like living inside a Dilbert strip. You could probably get a bit more of the personal touch reading something mean for an individual, like the Alcoholics Anonymous handbook.

Not that I've actually had any reason to read Alcoholics Anonymous... ahem...

The Half-Moon Thong

2011-12-27T14:17:00.000-08:00

Can't BELIEVE I'm making another post on sartorial decency...

Let me start by saying this: I LIKE women. I really do. I also like LOOKING at women. It makes me happy. Of course, since I'm a practicing Christian, I feel GUILTY about looking at women, but I still LIKE it.

That said... Ladies, please hitch up your pants.

I'm not really a "sagging" detractor. I don't buy into some of the more pervasive arguments from naysayers about sagging, but I also don't get why people feel the need to show off their particular brand of underoos. If you want to sag with your boxers, I guess you can go ahead. Thug life forever or whatnot.

However, I've seen how some women with their low-rise jeans deliberately make sure their skimpy thongs are visible above the waistline, and that's a practice I just can't get behind... partially because I'd have to look at their half-moon thong hanging out the back.

There's a REASON men who sag so much you can see their Great Posterior Crevice are often ridiculed - it's usually a sign that they're either too distracted to pay attention or too slovenly to think it matters. Same holds true with women. Personally, when I see a woman's thong riding up in the back, I tend to think of some of the women I've seen come through the mental health system - and those are usually people who are so stoned out of their minds that they can't remember how to work a belt.

That's not exactly the "sexy vibe" people are trying to give off, I think.

Again, maybe I'm overstepping my bounds here in demanding all women conform to MY definition of modest attire (and on the internet, too, where everyone has to do what I say). It's a sight that's bugged me a bit too much recently, though, so there you go. End verbal vomit.

Just remember: what would Richard Blackwell do?

Locker Love Affair

2011-12-27T08:16:00.001-08:00

Isn't that the way it goes?

I had the idea for the girl's face in the foreground as a starting point, but it's the other two character designs I wound up liking best.

For a Good Time, Email This Chick

2011-12-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

And by "good time," I mean "almost definitely a scam."

I have two email accounts, as most red-blooded Americans do. Anyone with only one email account is likely a communist or some other subversive. Unfortunately, one of my accounts appears to have been hacked... or something.

I checked my Hotmail address today (sileny_spisovatel@homtail.com - it's Czech, shut up) and found about 20 "delivery failure notifications" in my email. Trouble is, I didn't send that many messages (heck, I don't think I have that many CONTACTS). So I go to my sent box, and I find a bunch of messages with the above picture and the following text:

Ciao! Dovrebbe essere inusuali a ricevere che messaggio sento. Consenti mi presento;). Mi chiamo Tatyiana, e sono da Russia... La mia età è 25 anni.. Io sono tipo attraente, onesto, dignitosa, con un senso dell'umorismo..:)

Actually, I don't think anyone who reads this speaks Italian, so I won't post the whole thing... at least, not before running it through Google Translate:

Hello! It should be unusual feel to receive that message. Allow me introduce myself:). My name Tatyiana, and are from Russia ... My age is 25 years .. I'm like attractive, honest, dignified, with a sense of humor ..:) And I hope this e-mail is not difficult to you.

I am real woman who has a goal I want to make sure this is not this kind of questionable email that people send all around the world .. The report inet and something new for me and I've never done that before I look for a friend, my companion, and my future husband all my life The only thing I want is to find a person who will love and take me as I have .. I went to the shop and I opened kafe-page Web site Nirvam strange way and I managed to send an e-mail is written with the assistance of the employee who works here. I also send my beautiful pictures to you so you might know me.

I believe that you are interessatti meet new people and the will I answer to me, please contact me my email [What followed was NOT an email, but a dubious-looking web URL].

I hope for your quick news, Face... Your new amigo Tatyana

I gotta hand it to whoever has been sending out these emails - they really did a good job of creating a completely believeable Italian-speaking Russian woman who randomly sends mass emails out from a Czech email address. I especially appreciate the way they coopted English speaking colloquialisms to create the image of a, "like attractive, honest, dignified" woman.

Also (and this is no lie): "Face" might be my new favorite farewell EVER.

Joking aside, I'm deleting that email account today. Anybody got an extra hammer and sickle?

Things I'll Love Forever: White Christmas

2011-12-21T12:35:00.000-08:00

I don't watch a whole lot of Christmas movies during the month of December. Most of them suck eggnog... not that I'd ever single out a possibly-beloved Christmas classic to hate on it *cough*. I did get the chance last night to sit down with White Christmas, one of my all-time FAVORITE Christmas movies when I was a bit younger. After watching it again for the first time in several years, I noticed a few imperfections (what in the name of Krampus are they WEARING?), but it's still an excellent film.

The concluding scene, when the soldiers present at the inn and sing "The Old Man," never fails to get me a little teary-eyed.

When I grow up, I want to be Bing Crosby's voice. Any time anyone else starts singing with him, I start yelling at the television until Bing's just singing solo again.

I kinda miss movies that are completely unashamed to have big dance numbers. Most movies set up some kind of gimmick to frame dance sequences and remove them from what's "really" happening in the film (I'm looking at you, Chicago). Other movies present dance numbers ironically or with a great big wink to the audience (Enchanted and The Muppets both do this). While that's all well and good, it gives me the impression that film makers are EMBARASSED to film dancers. However, Vera-Ellen, Danny Kaye, and John Brascia prove that a little dancing is nothing to be ashamed of, and a LOT can be pretty darn cool.

Speaking of dancing, the number "Choreography" nearly makes the whole movie worthwhile for me. It's a brilliant meta-commentary on the state of dance in musical theater, and it STILL feels timely and fitting over fifty years later.

Not all the musical numbers are winners, but, surprisingly, the military numbers rank among my favorites ("The Old Man," "What Can You Do with A General," and "Gee, I Wish I Was Back In The Army"). No one, and I mean NO ONE, does martial music like Irving Berlin.

While the plot of White Christmas has very little to do with Christmas (actually, the movie's based on an earlier film with almost the exact same story), the MESSAGE of Christmas still comes through. Christmas is a time to focus on love, compassion, and good will towards men. White Christmas has those elements in SPADES.

The show's certainly dated, and some of the writing's a bit wobbly, but White Christmas is a great film, and I'll love it forever.

Some Old Sketches and a Christmas Charcoal

2011-12-18T21:00:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas!

So it's been a LONG time since I last posted any of my drawings... mostly cuz I haven't done many. Whoopsie.

Here are a couple I just DEEMED to finish. I started BOTH of them back in September, but I didn't ink them until today. Enjoy.

I like the idea of cynical motivational posters. Also, I like libraries. A series of depressing pictures endorsing literacy should satisfy both of those interests.

Back when I was taking my art class, my instructor looked at a couple of my sketches and recommended that I shade in the ground with charcoal. I really liked the idea, and I plan to use it in the future (this picture just used pencil).

Hey, it's these guys!

I don't know if I actually have a concrete story or anything planned for the Dead Poets' Sorority. I just think it's a fun band name.

My main complaint about the above picture is Samantha (that's the girl in the center). I didn't plan her position out very well, and I had kinda gotten tired of inking when it came time to do her wardrobe. Also, I think I made the other two characters look related. That wasn't my intent.

Stippling and crosshatching take a LOT OF TIME - and it's difficult to make a picture look nice with those techniques. At least, it is for me. I've actually ruined a couple of pictures I've worked on in the past. Still, I think this one turned out all right.

My favorite part of the picture above? The Hendrix-looking guy in the poster.

Dream: Pirate Roles

2011-12-15T08:42:00.000-08:00

My alarm didn't go off this morning. I woke up about ten minutes before I had to be in to work. Luckily, I only live about ten minutes away FROM work, so I still made it on time. Unluckily, that means certain daily rituals (like my morning ablutions) had to be omitted. I had a lock of hair looping out from the side of my head like a coffee mug handle that, thankfully, seems to have settled down now.

The cool thing about sleeping late, though, is that I got to experience a pretty wicked awesome dream for a bit longer.

So I was an actor, see, in a play/movie about pirates. The cool thing is that the director liked me enough to cast me as two different roles - and BOY, were they different.

The first character I played was a stoic seaman, the kind that never smiles while swinging deftly from the riggings. The director of the play gave me a photograph of how he wanted me to portray the character - a sailor in a white cap, unsmiling as he tied a hefty rope around his waist.

"Why is this man tying himself up?" the director asked.

"To keep from falling off the ship," I said.

"No," the director said, laughing at my naivete. "He's PLANNING to fall."

My mind? Totally blown right at that moment.

Sadly, I didn't get much time to explore the role of the second pirate - but I think this guy would have been even MORE fun. He walked around with a bit of a drunken swagger - similar to, but not so effete as Jack Sparrow - and he wore a pretty rad pair of red sunglasses. This character's scenes took place in an underground sewer, complete with blasts of steam and red lighting.

I remember one line of his:

"Down here, men, you gotta LIVE your sex!"

I have no idea what that means, but I'm pretty sure this guy was going to be awesome.

Wish I Said It First #15

2011-12-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

#15

"By the same token, sexy is not exploitative, and exploitation is dishonest. Reverse that chain and you can see that, whoever you are writing, if you are honest about them, fair to them, and allow them their moments of brilliance, you can create that sexiness without it becoming pandering. Sexy is not a visual trait - that's titillation. Cheesecake, beefcake, those are entirely visual matters. What makes someone sexy - what makes anyone sexy, in my opinion - is less how they look than how they do. Competence is sexy. Capability is sexy. Confidence is sexy. Smart is sexy. A character who clearly embodies these traits in some capacity or another is a character who is going to be attractive."

-Greg Rucka, in an interview with Comic Vine

Since I've been bugged so much by the portrayal of women in comics, reading this quote from one of superhero comicdom's top writers really helped.

A Modesty Proposal, or, Braddy's Being Sexist Again

2011-12-12T11:54:00.001-08:00

I saw this picture make the rounds on Facebook the other day:

I get that it's a joke... but this poster REALLY ticked me off all the same.

I'll get this out of the way right now - I'm a male, the latest in a long line of oppressive white male so-and-sos, so I'm liable to get a few things wrong. I may even come across as (dare I say it?) SEXIST. Still, if ever there was a forum for sharing one's opinion, no matter how ill-informed, the internet is it.

Please take all the time you want to explain how wrong I am in the comments section below.

I take issue with the poster above, first of all, because it implies that the primary reason for women's modesty is to prevent male misbehavior. I hope we can all agree on how stupid that is - an adult male is fully capable of making his own responsible decisions, regardless of how the people around him dress. If he's not capable of that, he's a disgrace to his sex. It's POSSIBLE (and I know of no other way to emphasize the word "possible" in text than I have just now) that a woman subconsciously invites mistreatment by the way she dresses, but that doesn't make the man's behavior any less reprehensible or reduce his culpability in any way. Period.

I also resent the implication that modesty implies sexlessness... although that does seem to be the case in the picture above. I've seen PLENTY of apparel that is attractive, colorful, and modest, while it still emphasizes a woman's... um... femininity and... sexuality. Can I just say "curves"? Or is that weird?

Finally, I get the impression that this picture sets up a false dichotomy - clothing either expresses sexuality or represses it. To which I say, "Thpbpthpbh!" It's entirely possible that a woman who chooses to dress modestly has something in mind OTHER than hiding her curves...

...feels weird to say that...

There are a lot of things a person can express with their clothing - respect, professionalism, mourning, celebration, relaxation - that have nothing to do with sex. A person's sexuality is ONE contributing factor to their attire, but it's hardly the ONLY one.

Maybe I'm out of line here. I am, after all, a member of the reigning patriarchal religious order which endorses a standard of modesty among its members. As a Latter-day Saint, I frequently participate in the sacramental ordinance, which means I stand up and walk around the chapel to give the bread and water to the congregation. Now, I like to try to keep my thoughts clean ESPECIALLY when involved in a religious ritual, and when a woman is wearing a low-cut dress, and I'm standing over them... let's just say I wish I had Batman around to keep my mind on task.

Is there ANY subject I can't link to Batman somehow?

So, yeah, I appreciate modesty, even though I recognize that women who choose to dress modestly likely (hopefully) do so without feeling obligated to out of deference to my feelings. Even if I've overstepped some gender-role bounds, I hope y'all respect my opinion while I respect your right not to listen to a ^#$%in' word I say.

Merry Christrufflemas!

2011-12-09T11:20:00.001-08:00

Christmastime is a great time of year: parties, presents, family, good music... well, some good music, at any rate. And, of course, there's a lot of great food.

And, by food, I mean candy.

And, by candy, I mean THESE GUYS:

I tend not to buy Lindor Truffles except at Christmas time - they're a bit on the pricey side. I guess the Lindt company starts to feel a bit more generous this time of year, because the truffles are often on sale. I actually have a little back of the truffles right by my desk, and... man, does that ever make me happy.

I like to take one of the truffles and pop it whole in my mouth. I don't chew it up right away, though - I let the outer shell melt away until the softer center is exposed. I love the sensation of the soft chocolate dissolving on my tongue - its smooth, creamy, and almost has its own temperature. Simply delightful.

So, of course, my phone HAS to ring when I'm eating my candy...

Seriously, this world's full of Scrooges.

Things I'll Love Forever: Jim Henson's Muppets

2011-12-08T08:37:00.000-08:00

I saw The Muppets a couple of weeks ago and have been recommending it pretty frequently to friends and coworkers. Surprisingly (at least I was surprised), a lot of my friends say that they don't like/never "got" the Muppets. I guess I see where they're coming from: I never quite understood what the Muppets were really about until I started watching The Muppet Show in earnest as an adult. Now I can't seem to get enough of them.

A lot of my fascination with the Muppets has to do with the mad genius that is Jim Henson. I watched a (lengthy) documentary from 1968 called Muppets on Puppets that illustrated just how talented Henson was. The man appears - well, to me, at least - to be a little shy and unsure of himself in front of the camera. However, put a puppet in his hands, and he's suddenly eloquent, witty, and charismatic. Jim Henson is quickly becoming one of the artists I admire most. And, yes, I do call his puppeteering "art."
I have a bit of comedic experience, so I know that it's difficult to do comedy without being raunchy. The Muppets, though, seem to manage it just fine, with a heavy reliance on puns and slapstick that, admittedly, isn't for everyone. If you ARE into that kind of thing, though, then the Muppets tend to get away with groaners that anyone else would be ashamed of. The fuzzy puppets make them work.
Back episodes of The Muppet Show introduced me to a lot of music that I'd not listened to before. Thanks to the Muppets, I have a brand new respect for classic rock and pop artists like Elton John, Leo Sayer, and Harry Belafonte. Also, just about any time you get Rowlf on the piano, I'm stuck to the TV screen. I LOVE that dog!
I've mentioned how much I love The Muppet Christmas Carol before, but it bears repeating. Gonzo makes a surprisingly competent Charles Dickens, and... heck, all of the Muppet performers lend a surprising amount of sincerity and self-awareness to one of my favorite stories of all time. Also, I have fond memories of arguing with my brothers over whether or not Beaker flips Michael Caine off (answer: I'ma say he does).
I don't know if its the music, the dancing, the guest stars, or what, but the Muppets seem to me to be one of the greatest "wholesome" groups around. I HATE the word "wholesome," by the way. It makes me think of a box of Fiber One. The thing is, though, that I actually feel good about watching the Muppets - the laughter's genuine, the songs are moving, and... heck, I've actually gotten to care about pieces of fabric wrapped around a guy's hand. That's gotta count for something.

Chalk it up to childish nostalgia if you must, but the Muppets have inspired me, and I'll love them forever.

Except for this guy:

Seriously? He sucks.

Braddy's Big Bollywood... umm... Breakthrough. Yeah, That Alliterates.

2011-12-05T10:10:00.001-08:00

I borrowed a movie from a friend last night - Ghajini, a Bollywood film inspired by the Christopher Nolan movie Memento, and supposedly my friend's all-time favorite movie. I'd never seen a Bollywood movie before, and I've always been fascinated by the plot of Memnto, which features a character suffering from anterograde amnesia (an inability to retain new memories following a tramautic event). So I decided to give Ghajini a try. Hooray for new experiences, right?

Just a warning about new experiences - some of them are, like, really extremely crazy.

Ghajini is about the most disjointed movie-watching experience I've ever had - ever. See, I thought I knew kind of what to expect from the movie going in. After all, here's the movie poster:

Hardcore, no?

Now let's take a look at the description on the back of the movie box:

Imagine being one of the most successful businessmen in the country. Sanjay Singhania is a rich businessman who owns a cellular phone company. Kalpana is a model who brags to her friends and peers that she is the love interest of Sanjay, though in reality she doesn't even know the man.

When Sanjay comes to know about this anonymous admirer of his, he decides to dispel her delusions. But on his way he sees a beautiful woman helping the handicapped kids cross the road. Instantly, Sanjay falls for her. Later, he comes to know that she is Kalpana, the same model who boasted of being his girlfriend.

Sanjay gets introduced to Kalpana but doesn't disclose his real identity. Love blossoms between the two.

...What?

As it turns out, there are two plot threads in the movie. One follows Sanjay Singhania, a man with no long-term memory who tattoos his body with clues which should lead him to identify his girlfriend's murderer. The other plot, which unfolds all in flashbacks, follows Sanjay Singhania who falls in love with a woman through a CRAZY mixup.

In the first twenty minutes of the film, Sanjay stabs a man to death. Then, not twenty minutes later, we get this:

and this:

That last picture is pretty darn hilarious. This *NSYNC wannabe is actually the SAME PERSON as the guy on the movie poster. By the end of the film, he completely transforms into a rage-driven, animalistic revenge machine that punches people to death. In the climax, he hits someone so hard that he breaks the other guys neck and his head does a complete 180. The dude is LITERALLY lying on his belly and staring up at the sky in awe AT THE SAME TIME.

I'm not the only one noticing a disconnect, right? It's like I stuck in the DVD to Silence of the Lambs, and then, about halfway through, the movie switches over to a musical adaptation of Hitch. The tone switches with breakneck speed from psychological thriller to romantic comedy to melodrama to straight-up horror DOZENS of times over the course of three hours.

Now, it probably sounds like I didn't care for Ghajini, while I actually... probably didn't care for it much. There was a lot of great stuff - some of the cinematography was FANTASTIC, the music was catchy, and the rom-com bits WERE pretty funny. I have to wonder how much of the weird disconnect is due simply to cultural differences between Hindi and Hollywood films.

Unfortunately, it may be too late for Ghajini. I'm glad I watched it, but I doubt the movie will ever be a thing I love forever.

But boy HOWDY, did I have fun watching it!

Bedtime Stories for a Busy Week

2011-12-02T09:07:00.000-08:00

Geez... I don't know about anyone else, but I'm POOPED.

Month-end is always a busy time at work, and, since we've been short-staffed for several months, I've been more stressed out than usual. All I want is to curl up in bed after drinking a tall glass of milk with cookies and have someone read me bedtime stories while I go to sleep. Is that too much for a grown man to ask?

Apparently not - I've seen several reports this week (but mainly this one) about a series of bedtime stories that air on CBeebies, a children's network in the UK. The program (or programme, if you will) garnered a bit of attention for regularly featuring the stars of Doctor Who - a show of which I'm a HUGE fan. I sat down last night and gave some of these a listen, and... well, they're darn cute. It reminds me of the good old days when I could sit on the carpet and watch Reading Rainbow.

I was the luckiest teenager ever.

David Tennant, who played the Doctor for a good three-four years recently (and also played Barty Crouch in one Harry Potter movie or another) reads a story called "Miki" which, while it's not my favorite story, provides ample opportunity for the delightfully hammy Tennant to pull out some great voices.

Freema Agyeman also delivers a pretty fun tale called "That Rabbit Belongs to Emily Brown". Her voices aren't quite as funny as Tennant's, but the sincerity of her indignation when the naughty queen tries to take Emily Brown's rabbit from her is just... well, it's adorable.

Far and away, though, my favorite story was "Crocodiles Need Kisses, Too." The story's something of a riff on "Are You My Mother," but with an adorable little crocodile that scares all the other animals. A good story needs a good storyteller, and Alex Kingston does a fantastic job, imitating animal voices with great skill all while maintaining a suitably hushed, peaceful tone that could easily lull a body to suh-suh-suh-*yawn*-sleep.

Excuse me, I'm getting tired now. Going to sleep - see y'all Monday.

The Great Media Famine of 2011

2011-12-01T08:16:00.000-08:00

The roomie and I decided to go the entire month of November without indulging in any frivolous media - no movies, video games, or music for the whole month (with a few well-deserved exceptions). We had several reasons for doing this. He wanted to cleanse his palate, as it were, of some of the more distasteful media influences he had let into his life. I wanted to keep distractions from my writing project to a minimum. Both of us wanted to discover just how much free time we would have to dedicate to other endeavors if we kept pointless distractions to a minimum.

Also, we both got REALLY FRICKIN' BORED!

Things started pretty well, actually - we'd come home from work or school or whatever, and we'd do a bunch of reading, clean the apartment, go for a walk, write a couple thousand words... whatever, you know. Then, we'd look around, smile at everything we'd accomplished, and say, "Boy, we sure feel swell. What an achievement.

"...now what?"

See, we managed to spend our time pretty well, up until about 9:00 at night. At that point, we both kinda realized that we'd run out of things to do. Normally, this wouldn't be a problem - we'd just pop in a movie, break out the video games, or do the funny video rounds on YouTube. However, for a whole month, we decided to forgo those activities completely. As a result, we completely wasted our time on SLIGHTLY DIFFERENT frivolous activities. For example, we read the entirety of The Complete Calvin and Hobbes in about a week, because there was NOTHING ELSE TO DO.

In the end, we wound up missing relaxing movie time. There's a difference between unwinding at the end of a long day of hard work with a good movie and a day completely wasted in front of the boob tube. We gave up the latter, but, in so doing, we weren't ever able to indulge in the former, and that just got us frustrated.

So much so, in fact, that we started making little exceptions to our rules that allowed for some frivolous media to slip in to our lives, like "Movies are okay in a social setting" and "We can watch videos if someone sends them to us ohttp://www.blogger.com/img/blank.gifn Facebook." That all probably sounds a little silly, but when you realize that WE were INVENTING RULES to CIRCUMVENT OTHER RULES that WE IMPOSED UPON OURSELVES... it stays pretty silly.

Also - and this has absolutely nothing to do with how starved for entertainment we got - we both decided that Patrick Stewart teaching the Sesame Street crowd about the letter "B" is the funniest darned thing ever.

You know what else starts with "B"? "Beautiful."

Well, it's December now. Going a month without movies didn't really kill me. Hopefully, I've learned to be less dependent on external media stimulation. Hopefully, I'll be more discerning in the things I choose to watch or listen to.

More likely, I'll go home from work tonight and play video games until my brains fall out my nose.

What I Learned From NaNoWriMo

2011-11-29T23:37:00.000-08:00

You know what that is? That's a certificate. It's a certificate I got for winning. Which is a thing I do, you know. Winning, that is. I do winning. Often. In fact, I do winning so much, I'm starting to get pretty good at it.

In short: BAM! I did it! 50,312 by the time I finished.

I loved NaNoWriMo so much last year because I learned so much from doing it. This year's project was pretty educational, too, although it wound up being something of a remedial course (for those who didn't save their notes, you can review them here). Still, I got a few new bits of wisdom from writing Alice and Wendy.

1 - Great Characters Write Themselves

I caught this happening a couple of times last year, but, since most of what I wrote last year was dictated by a meticulously crafted outline (re: something I wrote in pencil on October 31 while watching reruns of The Office), I didn't allow my characters the freedom they needed to react how they wanted to. Ironically, I feel like writing without an outline allowed my characters to behave more naturally than they would have otherwise.

Of course, I have to stress that it's not like this plot magically fell into place as I channeled some kind of supernatural energy into my laptop monitor. The plot is going to require a lot of ironing out. Which brings me to...

2 - A Good Writer Has a Plan

As fun as it was to just write without any idea of where my novel would go in the end, I'm pretty sure the novel's weaker for my lack of preparation. The exact timeline of events I've written is pretty unclear - I'm not sure what happens in flashback and what happens in the "current day." Heck, most of the time, I didn't even keep straight which day it was in the story. If the story were laid out in chronological order, every freaking day of the week would be Friday.

When I go back to revise, I'll make sure to have a freakin' calendar sitting on my desk.

3 - Miracles Will Happen As We Speak

Yeah, I noticed this happen a lot last year - connections I never could have made myself popped up in the strangest places. These connections will take a lot of cultivation to turn into anything meaningful, but they're the things that'll make the novel worth reading when it's all done.

This year, though, the surprising thing is that I came up with an ending to the novel literally out of nowhere. If you had asked me on Monday if I thought I'd have come up with a satisfying conclusion by Wednesday, I'd have probably slapped you (but I was in a bad mood on Monday).

I was halfway into Tuesday's writing, when I suddenly realized how the novel would have to end. There's pretty much NO OTHER WAY I could have ended this thing than the ending I chose. It's a sloppy ending right now, tying up loose ends more arbitrarily than the romantic leads pairing off in a Stephenie Meyer novel. That said, now when I go back to revise, I'll know what conclusion to work towards.

4 - Writing is the Only Way to Start Writing

Now that I've got 50,000 words of plot, I feel like I can finally start working on Alice and Wendy. It's like everything I've done up to this point was just preparation - I haven't really written a novel, but a 130-page working outline. And most of it is garbage.

Still, if I hadn't done all this writing all month long, I don't think I'd be able to come up with anything NEARLY as cool as the novel I'm envisioning in my head right now. Again, it'll probably be a lot of work to get this book to the point where I'm willing to show it to other people - probably even more work than last year's novel. But it'll be SO worth it if the final product will be as cohesive as I now think I can make it.

5 - Writing Sucks

The main reason I was behind so much this month is that, when I got home from work, I decided I wanted to do something OTHER than more work. There were several days when I sat down to write, and every word I pecked out on the keyboard felt like I was straining a muscle. I skipped several days altogether simply because I didn't feel like writing at all.

It may sound like I'm ending on a bit of a downer, but the truth is that I'm sure I needed to learn this particular lesson. I ended last year with a rush of euphoria, realizing that I really enjoy the process of writing. That's still true; however, there's not a CHANCE that I'll feel that way all the time. I have to accept - as I know expect most writers do - that the cool stuff in writing comes AFTER hours and hours of painful effort, and not always during.

Anyway, the goal this year is to use NaNoWriMo as a springboard. Last year, I took December off from dedicated noveling (it can be a word if I wish hard enough), and I never really picked it up again. This year, I'm not doing that, and I'll be pounding out another 1,000 words or so tomorrow.

The trouble is going to be in deciding what I want to do next: do I revise this year's novel, get back to work on last year's, or start a completely new project? Decisions, decisions.

Thanksgiving Double Feature - The Muppets and Hugo

2011-11-28T08:06:00.001-08:00

The roommate and I have suffered through a self-inflicted media "fast" this month. The idea was we would not indulge in any frivolous electronic stimulation for the entire month - primarily, this has meant no video games, movies, TV, or music (well, the occasional bit of classical WAS permitted). However, we allowed ourselves a bit of a loophole - any SOCIAL events centered around movies, music, etc., would be permissible.

And, wouldn't you know it, we had a WHOLE BUNCH of movie parties this past weekend.

Now, I tend to be a little bit... "discerning" in my movie selection (a better word might be "snobbish"). I didn't pick the movies that I saw lightly - if I was going to break my media fast, I was gonna make DARN sure I enjoyed it. And, boy, did I!

Thanksgiving Day I caught the new Muppet movie. I'm a long-time fan of The Muppet Show, after catching an episode guest starring Julie Andrews and a mysterious cow while on a trip to Disneyland back in eighth grade. Before that, all I knew about the Muppets came from A Muppet Christmas Carol (one of my all-time favorite Christmas movies) and Muppet Treasure Island(which was... um... Tim Curry was in it!).

I didn't really have high expectations for The Muppets, so I don't know what I wanted to see when the lights went down in the theater. Once the movie started rolling, though, I knew that what I wanted was right there on the screen in front of me. Bright colors! Smiling faces! Sincere song and dance numbers with only a HINT of irony!

Oh, and Amy Adams... Man, I like that girl.

The "plot" of the movie, as it were, really only served to bring the cast of characters back together for another great installment of The Muppet Show. From there on out, the movie played like a pretty typical Muppet movie - silly jokes, great character moments, and, of course, obligatory celebrity cameos.

(A note about the cameos: there weren't a whole lot of A-list celebrities in the movie. Maybe one or two. However, if you KNOW who the celebrities are, then just about all of them are incredibly funny. I about bruised my knee from slapping it so hard - they're that good.)

More than anything else, though, I found myself loving the music. Some classic Muppet songs mingle with new numbers written by Bret McKenzie of Flight of the Conchords. The songs are straight up hilarious - McKenzie's comic background shines through in the music he writes. There's a particular number highly reminiscent of "I'm Not Crying" that about had me falling out of my chair.

It's not a PERFECT movie, but the Muppets never really were about perfection. Their first feature film in over ten years is a perfect "welcome back." Hopefully they'll stick around - at least long enough for The Muppet Show Season 4 to come out on DVD.

And then we have Hugo, a movie I had very strong opinions about, despite the fact I didn't know it existed until about a month ago.

Hugo is based on a book called The Invention of Hugo Cabret, one of my favorite books that I've read in the past several years. The story focuses on a young orphan boy, living within the walls of the Paris train station. He fixes the clocks their for his uncle, who has disappeared, and survives on food stolen from railway vendors. Eventually, Hugo's story dovetails with the history of early cinema. The young boy finds himself drawn to these first silent pictures, which inspire him as much as they entertain him.

The book Hugo Cabret is filled about half full with pictures - finely detailed pencil drawings by author Brian Selznick. The illustrations help the book to present its story wordlessly at points - an appropriate choice for a story about silent movies. Since so much of the book relies on silence, I found myself a bit worried that the story wouldn't survive screen adaptation.

Again, it's not a PERFECT movie - there are a couple of jokes that feel out of place, and the movie feel a bit preachy at points. Also, I'm starting to get a little tired of Sacha Baron Cohen's typical pratfalls. I think he's a brilliant actor, but he's almost always brought in strictly for comic relief. In Hugo, it's kind of disappointing.

But that's not to say it's a bad movie. I loved Hugo - probably more than I loved The Muppets, to be honest. Hugo explores what it means to be an artist and a dreamer. Its morals are subtle, the mood almost dreamlike, and the actors perfectly cast all the way around - even Sacha Baron Cohen.

Hugo does everything right, but I wish at some points it would do MORE of it. It's the first movie I've ever watched in 3D where I've said, "You know, this could actually use MORE 3D effects." Since one of the central themes of the movie is film's ability to capture unreal scenarios and make them magically come to life on screen, additional 3D effects could have been used to recreate a similar effect for modern audiences who are more used to refined projected images.

Still, Hugo is ultimately a celebration of the movie as a medium and its ability to inspire while it entertains. On that level, it's a brilliant success. I only hope the eventual DVD release comes complete with some of the great Georges Méliès films references throughout the story.

Anyway, if you're interested in catching a movie this holiday season, those are MY suggestions. It's a great time of year for quality movies. Shame not to take advantage of it.

Guest Post on Autodidactic Ambitions

2011-11-23T11:12:00.001-08:00

If you're tired of reading nothing but my NaNoWriMo updates, you might enjoy reading a guest post I wrote for my friend Torrie's blog. Torrie and I studied English literature together back in college, so I thought it would be appropriate to share some of my thoughts on writing with her blogging audience.

While you're there, it probably wouldn't be a bad idea to check out some of Torrie's other posts. She's a talented writer in her own right, plus she's got some pretty neat photographs up from some photo walks she's taken.

Thanks Torrie for the guest post!

Meanwhile, I plan on returning to more or less "normal" blog writing next week once NaNoWriMo's wrapped up.

NaNoWriMo: November 22 Update

2011-11-23T08:13:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,679
Total Words Written: 35,007
Percent of Final Goal: 70%

Notes: I just wrote the most emotionally violent scene I think I’ve ever written. Man, I really wish I had an A.G. Bear right now…

I had planned last year’s NaNo project with a meticulously crafted, detailed, and complete outline of the whole plot. I knew how the book would end right from the beginning, and I wrote towards that ending. I added a few scenes along the way, but, for the most part, I crafted exactly the story I had set out to write from the very beginning. I also wound up running out of material just after Thanksgiving, and I pulled the last couple thousand words out of an uncomfortable part of my anatomy.

This year, without the outline to guide me, the writing’s been a bit more aimless. Ironically, I think I have a stronger story this year than I did last year, and I think that may be partly due to the free reign I gave my characters to write their own story. It’s a pretty MISERABLE story, but it’s a more compelling one. I have no clue how the story will end – I have a few key scenes I’m writing towards but no conclusion. I hope it’ll all end happily, but…

No, seriously, someone needs to hug me, and SOON.

NaNoWriMo: November 20 Update

2011-11-21T10:50:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,696
Total Words Written: 31479
Percent of Final Goal: 62%

Notes: New plot twists popped up as I was writing last night - totally surprised me. ~~Apparently, my "Peter" character is~~... Actually, you may have to read the finished novel to get this particular twist.

I just wrote a fun section involving a Ouija board. Having never really used a Ouija board myself, I looked up a bunch of videos of kids playing with the "game" on YouTube. Most of the videos I saw purported to be people getting possessed by the spirits that communicate through Ouija. Personally, I thought it all looked fake, but in a good, kinda creepy kind of way.

I use the Ouija board to a different effect in the story I've got going. It's probably not the most ORIGINAL usage - basically, a dissociative man's submerged personality communicates through the board - but I had a lot of fun writing it.

I may not come back to Alice and Wendy right away in December, but scenes like the one I just described have pretty much ensured that I will come back at some point.

NaNoWriMo: November 16 Update

2011-11-17T07:54:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,673
Total Words Written: 25,951
Percent of Final Goal: 51%

Notes: There have been a couple of pretty difficult challenges to overcome as a result of the somewhat warped chronology my book’s events have gone through. Some things simply don’t make sense now – a lot of the buildup of the first few chapters is now for an event that I think has already transpired. It’ll all come out in revision, but it’ll take a while.

Alice and Wendy is now almost split into two books – one is a dark story of madness and intrigue, and the other is a pretty straightforward story of a delinquent high school student. I find it much easier to write the latter, as the “madness and intrigue” requires a LOT more specialized knowledge than I’ve got (seriously, I’m never gonna write anything based in the medical field AGAIN). However, I think I’ll be most satisfied with the story if I’m able to weave the two disparate components together.

I forgot to mention before, but I’m actually doing a “word count contest” this week with a friend from church. Whoever gets the most words written this week wins. I picked a pretty bad week for this, though, as I’m busy almost every night with other stuff. So far, I’ve met my minimum goal per day. I should be completely caught up by the end of the week (and I may even be able to get a bit ahead).

The Burden of Language: Braddy's Most Hated Words

2011-11-16T10:25:00.000-08:00

I obsess over words a bit more than most people (goes hand-in-hand with the whole degree in English thing that I got). Now, the truth is that I really LIKE words - I think they're fun, expressive, and downright interesting. I don't read the dictionary (well, I don't read the dictionary OFTEN, that is), but I love discovering new words and how to use them.

That said, there are a LOT of words that I just can't stand. My reasons for disliking words vary from case to case, but, once I've selected a word to go in my "hate pile," it STAYS there until its had a good hard think about what it's done.

Let's look at some of my most hated words:

bureaucracy - I may just be petty, but I HATE words that I can't spell easily. Spelling should come easily to people who study English, right? Right?

Unfortunately, some words just never got the hint. For the life of me, I can't ever seem to spell "bureaucracy" right the first time (I actually tried three different spellings while compiling this list before finally looking it up). The word's got so many stupid vowels just to make a simple "ah" sound, while the "yoo" sound in the first syllable SHOULD be where all those extra vowels wind up.

If I had MY way, "bureaucracy" would be spelled "beurahcracy." And, um, I guess we'd all be from Georgia.

(As an aside, I have similar problems with the words occasion and silhouette.)

fail - The internet is hell for English majors. When a particularly terrible linguist dies, he is damned to wander the message boards of the great wide web forever, where he will spend his days hacking through the prickly undergrowth of bad grammar and his nights hiding from the ravenous, marauding "LOLs" and "STFUs," which have been known to strip a man's flesh from his bones in SECONDS.

I GET it, though - the internet generation hates words. It's okay. Most people would probably skip straight over this post because there are words with more than one syllable in it. When you post a funny picture of a man with his hand caught in a vending machine, you don't WANT to post a caption that says, "Oh, dear me, look at this silly chap and laugh at the foolish way he has chosen to acquire his tasty carbonated beverage, ho ho ho," while you adjust your monocle and take a sip from your tea cup. It's easier just to type "FAIL" and move on. That's fine.

Here's a fun fact: most of the time, "fail" is NOT a noun. If a person fails at something, their loss is not called a "fail." The correct word is "failure." It's true. We already have a word that means "an act of proving unsuccessful," and unfortunately for you, it DOES have two syllables.

Seriously, if you EVER say, "This is full of fail," I will kill you. I will unchain my rabid "ROFL" and it will destroy you.

emergency - Working for health care, this is a word I've grown to dread. The word "emergency" has a very specific connotation in health care. It means "a life-threatening situation." Emergencies are bad - very, very bad, and I always HATE hearing the word in a phone call.

Only two people ever use this word when they call in to a doctor's office. It doesn't matter HOW they choose to employ the word, my blood pressure always spikes when "emergency" is uttered. The first kind will use the word correctly, as in, "I have an emergency! My husband is on the ledge, threatening to jump." When I get this call, though, the biochemical response I undergo is appropriate - someone's life is in danger, and I get worked up so I can act more quickly.

However, the second type of person who calls will usually say something like, "I ran out of my Ritalin four days ago and forgot to call. I haven't had it in FOREVER, and it's an emergency." Unfortunately, I have to say, your situation ISN'T that severe, you WON'T die without your medications, you SHOULD have called last week, and I WILL NOT interrupt the doctor so you can get your script. Sorry.

(Strangely enough, I had more empathy BEFORE I started working for the industry whose only purpose is ostensibly to help others.)

accompanist - I think everyone has a word like this one - a word that they have to use frequently but can't ever quite say right. I encountered my personal evil word (my arch-lexemenemy, if you will) back in high school, when I was heavily involved in the choir program. I participated in several solo competitions, and every time, of course, I had to find someone to play the piano for me.

"Accompanist" is one of those words that, for some reason, I can't stop saying. Or, rather, once I start saying it, I can't stop. Picture, if you will, a teenaged Mr. Braddy (slightly lankier and, can you believe it, even MORE awkward), approaching the microphone, dressed in his choral tuxedo and a nervous grin, stringy hair parted at the side. He clears his throat and says:

"Hello. My name is Stephen. I will sing 'Vittoria, Mio Corre' by Giacomo Carissimi, and my accompianimanimanimanimanimanist is Kerry Moore."

Pronouncing "Giacomo Carissimi"? No problem. My poor little teenage self, though, couldn't muster the lingual agility to cut the word "accompanist" off.

I've gotten better, but I was an insecure adolescent at the time. That kinda thing SCARS.

moist - Actually, there's nothing wrong with this word. "Moist" even SOUNDS moist - it's the perfect combination of sound and definition. Get over it.

Have Any Extra Hours To Spare?

2011-11-15T11:24:00.000-08:00

If you do, GIVE THEM TO ME BECAUSE YOU DO NOT DESERVE THEM!

I'm kidding, but only just a bit. Life is pretty darn busy right now. Work's still got me swamped, what with me being acting manager for probably another week. I have to finish final preparations for Jesters auditions tomorrow. And, of course, there's a little writing project I've picked up.

Basically, I'm saying that if it seems like all I've done the last couple of weeks is read and write... well, that's because that IS all I've done the last couple of weeks.

The real trouble, though, is that I feel like there's a ton more that I WANT to do, but I simply don't have the time.

I haven't had time to dedicate to drawing for almost a month, and I have all these pretty little charcoal crayons just WAITING for me to use them.
Speaking of art, I also have a watercolor set I've been really excited to experiment with. Trouble is, I have absolutely NO concept of watercolor technique, so that's going to be a pretty in-depth project, too.
My church group is organizing a service auction to raise money for a sick family in Russia, and I've volunteered to put up a picture for bid... that I haven't yet completed.
All the writing I've been doing for NaNoWriMo has got me wanting to go back and revise LAST year's project, which I haven't touched in MONTHS.
I've got yet ANOTHER storytelling project I want to start working on NOW (a comic, perhaps?).
I'm pretty sure that I have friends with whom I can hang out, but I may have misplaced them, as I feel like I haven't really seen them in a couple of months.
Umm... isn't it, like, Christmas time soon or something? So, um, maybe I should do some shopping or something like that?

Well, I've gotta focus on what's right in front of me for now - which would be work, Jesters, and NaNo - and then I'll get to the other stuff later.

In the meantime, Happy Thanksgiving. If you need me, I'll be at my desk, writing. Try your best NOT to need me, okay?

Power Panels 5

2011-11-14T08:36:00.001-08:00

I didn't grow up reading superhero comics; I learned my love of the medium from the Sunday funnies. I grew up reading The Far Side, Bloom County, Peanuts, and, of course, Calvin and Hobbes. I often read within these cartoons the characters complaining about the shrinking space in the newspaper comics page. In fact, Bill Watterson's rebellions against the restraints put on the comics format are part of the reason I admire the man so much. Still, growing up in that age where newspaper comics had already been diminished so much, I don't think I realized what I was missing.

Then, a couple of months ago, I discovered Winsor McCay's Little Nemo in Slumberland.

I'd actually heard of the character as a kid - there was a video game made to correspond with an animated flick I don't think I ever saw, so I knew that something LIKE this existed. Eventually, I learned that Little Nemo was a comic strip from the early twentieth century. Beyond that, though, I never thought to look in to the character much.

I've since read several cartoonists who cite Winsor McCay's work as an inspiration. Eventually, I decided to check a book of the comics out from the library. I feel confident in saying that there's nothing else quite like Winsor McCay that sees print today.

McCay was given a lot of space to tell a brief story, and he USED that space incredibly effectively. He painted larger-than-life pictures of strange landscapes and peculiar creatures, the likes of which are only encountered in dreams. The lettering is less than perfect, sometimes bordering on the illegible, but, in the end, I never really cared what any of the characters were saying. I only wanted to see what dreams Little Nemo had, and I was seldom disappointed.

I've read similar attempts at using broadsheet-sized pages in contemporary comic storytelling (like in DC Comics' recent attempt - which WAS actually pretty good), but none of them come close to using that much space quite as masterfully as Winsor McCay did. Little Nemo is at its most awe-inspiring when its main characters are exploring peculiar dreamscapes. As you can see in the comic above, the panels in the comic aren't simply laid out from left to right, but they fold and warp around the central fantastical image, creating a kind of warped, surreal world.

It makes me wonder what we miss out on in today's comic environment with only tiny, six-panel Sunday strips to look forward to each week.

NaNoWriMo: November 13 Update

2011-11-14T07:07:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,761
Total Words Written: 20,578
Percent of Final Goal: 41%

Notes: Look at me! I’m only about a day behind schedule now. Go weekends!

I’ve said it before, but the process of discovery during NaNoWriMo is far and away the best part. I’ve been exploring my main character’s school life, and, as a result, I’ve uncovered a lot of interesting little plot threads. There’s a young man at Wendy’s school who obviously has a thing for her, although he doesn’t always choose to express himself in the best way.

Now, the coolest thing to happen this weekend came from a single word. My main character has a lot of resentment towards her father, who may or may not be a complete monster. I haven’t quite decided. Anyway, the important bit is that she PERCEIVES him to be, if not evil, at least out of touch. Her poor relationship with her father has started to affect Wendy’s school life – hence, her now frequent visits with the principal. In one of the principle’s lectures, I revealed that he doesn’t talk much with Wendy’s father “anymore.”

I hadn’t intended to write the word “anymore” – it just kind of slipped out of my fingers and onto the page. Suddenly, a whole, unspoken history between Wendy’s father and her principal revealed itself to me, and that history might have some pretty profound effects on the main story.

I don’t know about you, but I think that’s darned awesome!

NaNoWriMo: November 11 Update

2011-11-11T07:19:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,810
Total Words Written: 14,474
Percent of Final Goal: 28%

Notes: Eek. I’m almost a full 2,500 words BEHIND schedule. That’s not good.

Maybe it’s just because I’ve been reading young adult fiction recently, but I kinda want to explore the new environment I created for Wendy’s school. I created three new characters for her to interact with last night – an insensitive jock, an all-business school nurse, and the school principal (you can guess what kind of day poor Wendy had at school today).

The principal probably has one of my favorite character descriptions I’ve ever written: “he carried with him the potbelly that only the abnormally thin have when they get old, married, and settled.” Sadly, I think the reason I like it so much is because that’s what I expect I’LL look like when I get old, married, and settled.

Speaking of reading (which I was two paragraphs ago), I’m finding it advantageous to read continually WHILE writing. When I read, I tend to adopt the conventions of the writer into my speech (Shakespeare and Dickens make me a bit more flowery than I’d normally be). Since I’ve been reading Jerry Spinelli recently, I’ve found it a bit easier to come up with distinctive, abnormal descriptors for my characters – something Spinelli excels at in books like Maniac Magee and Loser. I’m not nearly as GOOD at it as Spinelli is, but it’s helpful nonetheless.

Braddy Reads The Bell Jar

2011-11-09T09:00:00.000-08:00

Okay, I’ve put this one off long enough.

I finished reading Sylvia Plath’s The Bell Jar almost two weeks ago, and I’m STILL not quite sure what I think of it. Heck, I’m not even quite sure why I picked it up in the first place. I mean, I like Sylvia Plath’s poetry (for the most part), but I’m not exactly a Plath “fan.”

As far as the writing goes, I found Plath as ingenious and clever as ever – although she uses FAR too many metaphors for my taste. On some pages, nearly every other sentence carries some simile or metaphor. That’s not an exaggeration. I counted. There’s a LOT of metaphor.

Where the plot’s concerned, well… Actually, I’m not even sure I have the capacity to fully understand the novel. Maybe I’m coming from the wrong place to figure out what’s going on – that place being the land of the Y chromosome.

I was struck by a particular scene towards the end of the book: protagonist Esther Greenwood is nearing the end of her stay in a mental institution. She gets a visit from Buddy Willard, an old flame of hers, who asks if he’s somehow responsible for Esther’s current state of mind. Esther’s response is a bit ambiguous, but she TELLS him that he isn’t responsible.

When I read that section, I remember thinking that I had a similar question to Buddy Willard’s. As I’ve pointed out, I have kind of an odd response to women’s literature. I start to question my own motives in my interactions with women – whether I’ve been perpetrating some patriarchal crimes in my intersex relationships.

However, when Buddy asks if he has caused Esther’s illness, I get the impression that Buddy Willard has kind of missed the point. Esther Greenwood has been through a lot in her life – obvious mental illness, shattered ideologies… heck, she nearly gets raped halfway through the book. The Bell Jar is an exploration of HER trauma and her journey. For Buddy to turn it into some kind of analysis of HIS OWN behavior actually strikes me as kind of selfish. I found myself wondering why Buddy Willard would dare to make Esther’s struggled about HIM – and, at the same time, I wondered why I insisted on making Plath’s story about ME.

Or maybe I’m the one missing the point. I really can’t say for certain. Whether Buddy’s question is Plath’s way of waving off sniveling, apologetic men or condemning them isn’t really clear to me. Under different circumstances, I’d call that a mark of a bad writer. However, Plath handled it in a way that will have me thinking about The Bell Jar for days and weeks to come, not out of confusion, but out of a desire to understand. And that’s REALLY impressive.

NaNoWriMo: November 8 Update

2011-11-09T08:31:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,770
Total Words Written: 12,664
Percent of Final Goal: 25%

Notes: You know how long it takes to write 1,666 words? Apparently, not all that long.

I spend about an hour and a half to two hours writing a night, but a good portion of that time is actually me standing up from the computer, walking out into the common room, and telling my roommate that I wrote another hundred words before telling him the latest cool thought I had about math.

Actually, that’s not quite true. He’s the one who tells ME about math.

Still, I find that the writing goes a little easier when I take small breaks in the middle – provided I’ve put in the effort to do some quality writing in the first place. I write a couple hundred words, go read a few comic strips (I’m working my way through the complete Calvin and Hobbes again) or a chapter from my book (currently reading Jerry Spinelli’s Loser), and then come back to the writing with a mostly fresh mind.

Not planning out the plot ahead of time is providing some interesting challenges. Right now, the novel feels more like an extended outline in development than a coherent narrative, but it’s providing me with some interesting choices. I’ve got a scene on the slate now that I had never intended to write – Wendy in her classes at school. Suddenly, there’s a whole new avenue that’s just opened up for new characters, conflicts, and settings.

In revision, I’m going to have to decide between turning the story into a psychological thriller or a regular YA novel. I’m not sure which way it’ll swing in the end.

NaNoWriMo: November 7 Update

2011-11-08T08:38:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 2,491
Total Words Written: 10,894
Percent of Final Goal: 21%

Notes: I almost didn’t do any writing yesterday. I didn’t even start the writing until nearly 10:00 at night, spending most of my evening reading up on the Tarot on Wikipedia. Also, I went bowling (55 is a TERRIBLE bowling score, by the way).

I started writing with very little enthusiasm – I don’t know enough about the Tarot to write convincingly about a Tarot reading, which was the next portion of the story I wanted to write. Everything I know about Tarot cards comes from an old video game my brothers and I played growing up called The Fool’s Errand, which, incidentally, is a LOT of fun for puzzle-lovers.

My enthusiasm grew quickly, however, when I started writing the character Ruby. I had no intention of including anyone like her in my story when I first started writing it. However, I figured SOMEONE had to provide Wendy with a card reading, and I didn’t want Alice to do it (which I think was the original goal). So I created this sassy old woman, contorted with severe scoliosis, and I think I have a new favorite character.

And THAT’S why I like NaNoWriMo.

NaNoWriMo: November 6 Update

2011-11-07T08:15:00.000-08:00

Words Written Last Night: 2,096
Total Words Written: 8,403
Percent of Final Goal: 16%

Notes: I skipped a day over the weekend, and that’s actually put me about 1,000 words behind schedule. It’s pretty traumatic. I’ll be able to catch up in time, but… man.

This year’s NaNoWriMo project is so much more DIFFICULT than last year’s. There’s been almost no motivation to continue in the project. Again, just like last year, when I’m able to compel myself to sit down and work, I feel pretty good about the work I do (even though it’s mostly terrible writing). It’s that extra effort to sit down and WORK that I get hung up on.

One of the things that’s made this year’s project more difficult is the presence of a roommate. Last year, I lived on my own, so when I got home from work, I had no distractions at all. I just sat down, got to work, then played video games until it was time for bed. Now, I kinda wanna just chat with the roommate.

No wonder most famous authors have been depressive loners.

Braddy Reads Nursery Rhyme Comics

2011-11-04T08:56:00.001-07:00

ATTENTION PARENTS OF SMALL CHILDREN!!! BUY THIS BOOK. BUY THIS BOOK NOW. NOW. NOW. BUY THIS BOOK NOW!

And that's it for my review.

...

What, that's not enough? Okay, I'll go on.

Nursery Rhyme Comics first showed up on my radar when it was announced that one of my favorite comic book artists, Mike Mignola, would be contributing a two-page adaptation of the nursery rhyme "Solomon Grundy." I took a look at the pages and, being something of a Mignola completionist, decided that I had to possess this book.

Now, the Mignola story is good. Very good, I'd say. But it's not even CLOSE to the best thing about this book. Nursery Rhyme Comics tells fifty stories that I've known since I was six, but puts a new spin on all of them.

They don't ALL work, but the ones that do are fantastic. Patrick McDonnell's two-panel retelling of "The Donkey" reminds me why I liked the comic Mutts in the first place, while Richard Thompson (of Cul de Sac) proves why he's one of the best contemporary newspaper cartoonists. Eleanor Davis's simplistic-looking "The Queen of Hearts" proves to be more complex the more you study it, while Stan Sakai's "Hector Protector" is just as simple - and delightful - as it seems.

I'd endorse the book almost solely on the quality of two-page depiction of "Pop Goes the Weasel," which introduced my roommate to the bizarro wonderland works of Scott C. (whose story "Igloo Head and Tree Head in Disguise" sent my roommate into hysterical fits of laughter that nearly knocked him unconscious).

Okay, I'll stop raving now. I obviously enjoyed this book WAY more than I should have, considering I'm about twenty years too old to fit in the target demographic. Still, the art's great, the stories charming and unpredictable, and the rhymes timeless. Love it!

NaNoWriMo: November 3 Update

2011-11-04T07:10:00.001-07:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,768
Total Words Written: 4,615
Percent of Final Goal: 9%

Notes: Last night, I had an “Oh, yeah” moment. As in, “Oh, yeah, THAT’S why I like NaNoWriMo.”

I’ve been writing mostly introductory elements right now – explaining first meetings between the major characters and the like. A lot of what I’ve written (re: everything I’ve written) is total crap and won’t survive the first revision; however, it’s all been valuable. I’m building characters – except that’s not quite right. I’m DISCOVERING characters.

Wendy, for example, is an artist – she likes to draw and paint. I didn’t know that about her when I started. Her father, a doctor, treats his patients like family and his family like patients. He walks hunched over with his big hands folded into his pockets. Both of these characters are starting to feel like real people to me, and that’s EXCITING.

Tomorrow I start writing about Peter (yeah, HE’S in the story, too). I’m looking forward to getting to know him.

News Newbie

2011-11-03T08:53:00.000-07:00

I spend most of my Wednesdays out in Magna doing improv workshops with the Jesters Royale. Often, my favorite part of the workshop is a ten-minute segment we call "Pop Culture Theater," wherein we discuss a lot of current happenings and whatnot. Obviously, we usually focus on pop culture topics (big movies at the box office, popular bands, etc.). However, every now and again, someone will bring up something actually significant in the world at large.

For example, a couple of weeks ago, someone at the workshop mentioned a tear gassing incident that took place during a protest in New York. I asked him for more details - like what the protest was actually about - and he kinda shrugged and said, "I'm not sure they actually know."

He was, of course, talking about the "Occupy Wall Street" movement. And I had no idea that was actually happening.

Since then, I've tried to educate myself a bit on the subject, and I find that there's a LOT that's happened recently that I didn't know about. For example:

The country of Greece is on the verge of financial collapse.
Michael Jackson's doctor, who treated the pop star just before he died, is apparently still on trial for manslaughter.
There was a little riot in Egypt that makes the "Occupy Wall Street" movement look like a pickup football game
Apparently, people start running for president more than a year before the actual election.

I kid a little - I'm not a COMPLETE ignoramus, and I'd heard bits and pieces about all the above. The point still stands that I have next to no idea WHAT is going on in the world today outside of what's reported by The Daily Planet (Hot Tip: The Daily Planet doesn't actually exist).

So I've spent the last few days actively looking up news. It's weird, and I'm not quite sure I'm understanding EVERYTHING going on. It's like I've started watching a new television show halfway through the season, and I don't know who the characters are yet.

(I'm pretty sure that's a sad and telling metaphor I've chosen to employ.)

Anyway, I'm sticking to this whole "news" thing for a while. I mean, I'm an alleged adult now (at least, that's what my driver's license tells me). Guess it's time to stay informed.

NaNoWriMo: November 2 Update

2011-11-03T07:18:00.001-07:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,101
Total Words Written: 2,847
Percent of Final Goal: 5.7%

Notes: Wednesdays were always the hard days last year. I work a full eight-hour day which I follow up with a three-hour improv workshop. Add an hour of travel time, and my day’s pretty much shot. I’m actually pleased that I was able to get any writing at all done last night, even if it was 500 words short of the daily goal.

My first day of writing could have been far more productive than it was, but I spent about an hour reading up on poker techniques on Wikipedia (it was research for the story, don’t worry). I’m coming to realize that, for my topic this year, there’s a LOT more I need to learn. I’ve decided not to worry about it now, but I’m keeping a list of things I want to read up on after the month is over so I can get a better idea of how to incorporate these subjects into my story. Already, my list includes poker, knitting, and pedophilia…

My book may be a little messed up. Just warning you all now.

Why I'm Still Single 39

2011-11-02T13:46:00.000-07:00

Literary theory did some strange things to my poor little undergraduate mind. I stopped taking movies at face value, refused to read anything that couldn't be found on a college syllabus somewhere, and considered myself a war criminal in the battle of the sexes.

NaNoWriMo: November 1 Update

2011-11-02T08:42:00.000-07:00

Words Written Last Night: 1,746
Total Words Written: 1,746
Percent of Final Goal: 3%

Notes: A bit of a struggle, but the first day counts as a success – I got just about as much writing done as I was supposed to.

Last year, I wrote from an outline – I hopped around to whichever part of the story I felt most like writing. This year… I’m not doing that. I decided to try letting the plot evolve more organically, writing from beginning to end. I have a couple of characters in mind, and a couple of plot points and images that I’ll be writing towards, but no real concrete scenes. Also, I have no premeditated conclusion. I have NO IDEA how this story is going to end, and that’s… kind of exciting.

I forgot to mention yesterday that I’ve added an element to the NaNoWriMo process this year that I didn’t include last year – a media fast. I’m not indulging in ANY superfluous electronic entertainment – that means no movies, TV shows, or music (I have allowed myself some classical music to write to, but that’s it) Also, no video games. My time’s a lot less abundant this year than it was last, so these sacrifices may just be necessary for me to even finish the project this year.

Time Once Again For...

2011-11-01T08:07:00.000-07:00

That's right, I'm doing the NaNoWriMo thing again. That means I get to shut myself in my apartment and write 50,000 words of a novel - as if I didn't get enough torture last year.

Seriously, as much as I enjoyed doing NaNoWriMo LAST year, I find that I'm lacking the naive excitement that drove me to completing the project in 2010. This year, all I can think about is the sheer volume of work. Seriously, it's a LOT of work, and, from the beginning of the project, it appears to be a bit daunting.

Luckily, I've got a couple people I can keep tabs on (and who will HOPEFULLY return the favor). Last year, I had a friend who was instrumental in keeping me on task, so I'm planning on taking full advantage of that support.

Also, I'm incredibly excited for this year's novel, which I've been wanting to write since the middle of LAST NaNoWriMo...

Alice and Wendy

You might say I'm cheating a bit in picking Alice and Wendy as my NaNo project. After all, the rules say you're supposed to start a novel from scratch, and Alice and Wendy isn't exactly a brand-new concept for me. However, it's been a long poem for the last five years of its existence, so I say this is good.

So, yeah... NaNoWriMo begins NOW. Wish me luck!

Horrorshow: The Last Exorcism

2011-10-31T10:40:00.000-07:00

Unlike last Halloween, I haven't been able to watch a whole lot of horror movies this year. I did manage to squeeze in a viewing of The Last Exorcism, which looks like some strange mash-up of The Blair Witch Project, The Exorcist, and, oddly enough, Rosemary's Baby (that, um, may have been a spoiler).

Despite the unoriginal the premise, there's a lot that works in this movie. I got freaked out quite a bit by the creepy atmosphere, and there are a couple of well-executed jump scares. The casting is pretty good, especially Ashley Bell as the possessed girl.

I did get kinda disctracted by some of the casting, though ("Hey, isn't that the guy from that one episode of Burn Notice?").

So the movie's scary enough, but the plot left a LOT to be desired. The whole "Satanic cult impregnates an innocent woman to give birth to the Antichrist" thing felt a little out of place, almost tacked on, like the writers realized they forgot to add the requisite twist ending (However, I STILL felt that the demon impregnation plot is still handled better here than in Rosemary's Baby. Horror purists may commence with the hate).

I guess I can say that I LIKED The Last Exorcism, although I feel little desire to ever watch it again. I'm starting to wonder if horror just isn't my genre - with only one exception (Psycho), I've yet to see any horror movie that I felt drawn to watch again.

Oh, I also saw Charade for the first time this weekend, and now I want to be Carey Grant when I grow up. But that's not scary at all, is it?

Workin' Day Blues

2011-10-27T08:56:00.000-07:00

I don't talk a lot about my job here for a LOT of reasons.

I work for health care, and I'd rather not mention ANY stories about the people I encounter than possibly violate privacy agreements.
I'd rather my employers not think I spend a lot of time blogging during work hours (I do most of my blog writing during my lunch breaks, FYI).
Even though I LIKE my job, I don't get a lot of SATISFACTION out of it, so I tend not to have much to say.

Anyway, yesterday was the big annual performance review day. I came out of my review feeling... pretty good, actually. My boss told me that she understood I was really just working here to pass the time; however, she said that, if I decided to make a career here, she would be willing to help me get the training I need to advance in the company.

I don't care HOW much you like/dislike your current job. Finding out there's room for advancement is a pretty big deal. It's nice to know people like you.

I've been thinking a lot about what I've been doing with my life recently - mainly, that I haven't quite accomplished what I've wanted to since graduating college. I frequently hear that I could do whatever I want to do with my life - and sometimes I believe it. However, it seems like I've recently been seized by I-don't-know-quite-what. Some ghost of complacency, I guess.

I've been working my way through Sylvia Plath's The Bell Jar. The other day I stumbled across the following passage, and I couldn't help but laugh when I read it:

I saw my life branching out before me like the green fig tree in the story. From the tip of every branch, like a fat purple fig, a wonderful future beckoned and winked. One fig was a husband and a happy home and children, and another fig was a famous poet and another fig was a brilliant professor... and beyond and above these figs were many more figs I couldn't quite make out. I saw myself sitting in the crotch of this fig tree, starving to death, just because I couldn't make up my mind which of the figs I would choose. I wanted each and every one of them, but choosing one meant losing all the rest, and, as I sat there, unable to decide, the figs began to wrinkle and go black, and, one by one, they plopped to the ground at my feet.

Maybe I'm just too much the typical College of English graduate disaffected with life, but I can relate to what Esther Greenwood felt in this passage (hopefully, that's the ONLY way I relate to Esther - I haven't finished the book quite yet, but I've got a good idea how it ends).

I've got so many things I want to DO with my life, I can't seem to pick just one and focus on it enough to go anywhere with it. I want to be an author, but I can't always bring myself to dedicate the daily effort needed to reach that goal. Same with art and drawing. Heck, this even extends beyond my professional life. Someone asked me the other day if I want to get married some day, and, after thinking about it a minute, I had to say, "I don't think so. I don't know."

Bleagh.

Anyway, it's nice to know that if I CAN'T get out of this funk for whatever reason (although I'd say there's a good reason coming), I still have some room to grow. Thanks, boss!

Psycho Bash. Also, Why I Improv

2011-10-26T11:28:00.000-07:00

Halloween is less than a week away, which means that it's time once again for the Jesters Royale Psycho Bash, also known as "The Best Halloween-themed Improv Show of the Year."

Don't believe me? Just look at the stellar advertising we've done:

Halloween's something of a big deal to the Jesters Royale, and the annual show is a pretty important anniversary for me, as I've been participating in these shows for my entire tenure with the team. This year will be my fourth Halloween show, and... well, I must say I'm kinda surprised I'm still here. If you'd asked me a couple of years ago whether I saw myself doing improv with the Jesters still in 2011, I'd probably have said no. Yet, here we are.

Improv comedy is more than just a hobby I share with Michael Scott. The Jesters have proven to be a fantastic group of people - I'm constantly in awe of their talent and dedication to the craft of comedy (and, yeah, it's a craft). In the seemingly short amount of time I've been with them, I've learned a lot about timing, character development, and stage presence - important skills for comedians, no doubt. The thing is, I've applied these same skills in other disciplines to great effect (A friend of mine once commented that she liked to watch me teach Sunday School classes, because she could see the transition between "normal Stephen" and "performer Stephen").

So, yeah, I'm excited to still be with these guys after three years, and I'm looking forward to being a part of the time for a good while longer.

Also, our Halloween show is gonna be awesome. You should come.

Romance in the Dark

2011-10-23T22:52:00.000-07:00

Forgive my penchant for the dramatic and let me run a thought by y'all.

So it seems a lot of people fall in love in the dark - we go to candle-lit restaurants, dance under disco balls, and talk in the park at night. I've heard, once upon a time, that the dark tricks the eye into dilating, which sends the other party a signal that there's some romantic interest. Same thing goes for makeup - eye makeup makes is attractive on a woman because it makes her eyes appear to be larger, again demonstrating interest in the other person.[citation needed]

I used to think that the dark and the eyeliner was just a ploy - a way of covering up or glossing over the physical imperfections of the other party. As a result, I sometimes joke that I'm going to ask the woman I love to marry me at 8:00 A.M. on a Saturday morning before she's had a chance to put on her make-up. That way, if I REALLY loved her, I'd know because I'd still want to go through with it.

In case you didn't know, I'm sometimes a terrible person.

Anyway, I'm starting to rethink my stance on this particular issue. Darkness doesn't cover up physical "imperfection," but it removes physical appearance from the table as an issue. Conversation in the dark - on a ballroom floor, or wherever - gives you an opportunity to look past the outside and get a glimpse at what's inside.

Just a thought.

Braddy Reads The Art of Tangled

2011-10-21T10:12:00.000-07:00

It's been nearly a year since I first watched Tangled, and I STILL haven't quite worked through this completely bizarre obsession with a movie that I think is only okay.

I've been trying to focus a bit more on the (visual) artistic side of things, though, so I picked up The Art of Tangled. While I have HUGE issues with the story and characters, the visuals of Tangled grew on me quite a bit. I thought it would be educational to see some of the process that went into it.

And, boy, WAS it educational. A lot of the inspiration for the visuals in Tangled were drawn from Cinderella and, surprisingly enough, Pinnochio. I never would have made the connection between Pinnochio and Tangled, but, to hear it explained, it made a lot of sense.

Some of my favorite material comes from early in the book, when the visual design was more fine-art influenced. There are some surprisingly dark designs of the villain, Mother Gothel, which, while they wouldn't fit with the style the film eventually adopted, are absolutely fascinating to study, and would have made for a much darker film. Even the character designs for the thugs in the bar (who I REALLY hate) make more sense to me.

Heck, even the horse... Umm, actually, the very first sentence on Maximus's page compares him to Javert from Les Mis, so...

No. SCREW this guy.

Anyway, The Art of Tangled gave me a lot of insight, and a lot of good inspiration into my own art. I'm excited to keep practicing my own craft, and to keep exploring these "behind-the-scenes" books as I go forward. I went and put a bunch of them on hold at the library - SO excited!

Art Class: Day 6 FINALE

2011-10-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

Here we are, six weeks later, and look how much I've learned.

That, um, is supposed to be me. It's kinda hard to get all the proportions and whatnot right when doing a self portrait. Maybe it wouldn't have been so bad if I'd been working completely on my own. As it was, I was in a room of people chatting and cracking jokes. Every now and again, I'd laugh, and then I'd look back at the mirror and notice that MY WHOLE ^#$%$^IN' COMPOSITION WAS NOW OFF!

*sigh*

That said, there ARE some elements of this particular picture I'm pretty proud of. I demonstrate that I at least KNOW where the highlights should be. I also think I did an okay job with the hair - both that atop my head and that slathered around my mouth like a kid's birthday cake. Given another... oh, I dunno... twelve hours, I mighta had something which resembles more closely the pinnacle of bearded perfection that I am.

Now that the class is over, I've got a big plastic tote full of charcoal and other drawing supplis that'll hopefully see a lot of use. Of course, that may not happen, what with November rapidly approaching...

Why I'm Still Single 38

2011-10-18T12:44:00.000-07:00

Ratatouille: Pixar's Greatest Film?

2011-10-17T12:16:00.001-07:00

Fans of animation often bicker over which of the Pixar films is quantifiably the best. There's a case to be made for all of them (except the Cars films - if you ever say Cars is the best, you're wrongest wrong person in Wrongville); however, after rewatching Ratatouille over the weekend, I find myself making a case for the story about the little rodent who could.

The first time I watched Ratatouille, I found it to be enjoyable but highly formulaic - almost forgettable. It's a pretty standard idea for a children's story - artist dreams big, gets rejected because he's misunderstood (pobrecito). Eventually, through sheer tenacity, he triumphs and is recognized as the genius he is. I don't think I watched it again for several years, because I never really felt the need.

After this most recent viewing, though, I've changed my mind - there's a lot going on in Ratatouille that isn't immediately evident. True, there's the whole underappreciated artist story, but that really takes a back seat to the individual character arcs. There's an underlying theme that runs throughout that says art is for EVERYONE, and a person can only be truly happy when they learn how to take their art and share it. Nearly every character has to come to terms with this democratic understanding of the art of cooking (or "The Gospel of Gusteau," you might say):

Remy the rat, nearly a fully realized artist already, has to recognize that he's not held back in his art because the world refuses to accept a rat chef, but because he himself has not fully accepted his role as an artist. Thus, his moment of revelation comes when he starts to identify himself as a "cook" before anything else.
Linguini, who has no talent for cooking, discovers in an almost wordless moment that he has a skill for customer service and waiting tables that allows others access to Remy's art. The scene where Linguini darts around Gusteau's upscale restaurant on roller skates is almost played comically, but it's a real moment of realization for Linguini. His "art" is a subtle one, but very important.
Colette proves early on that she accepts Gusteau's maxim that "anyone can cook" when she helps Linguini get a job in the kitchen. Her devotion as a "Disciple of Gusteau" is put to the test, though, when Remy is revealed to be the mastermind chef. Ultimately, hers is a trial of faith in art, and she passes.

Sorry if the religious verbage is a bit much, but it fits pretty well.

Beyond the arcs for the main trio, though, there is another, subtler theme which becomes apparent when analyzing the roles of two supporting characters: namely, the importance of turning one's role or occupation into art. Let's look first at Remy's father (whose name, according to Wikipedia, is Django).

In the world of Ratatouille, cooking is treated as an art, not just a skill (even though we in the "real world" tend not to consider it so). However, to hear characters like Gusteau, Remy, and Colette speak of cooking, the audience soon realizes that cooking - so often a routine, mundane activity - not only nourishes the body, but it also nurtures the soul.

Initially, Django refuses to accept that cooking does anything more than fill a specific physical need. His attitude is understandable, even natural: he's the de-facto father of an entire clan, whose survival depends on pilfering food from people who would kill them on sight. He doesn't feel he can indulge his son's need for fancy flavorings; as a parent, he considers it to be his rightful role to protect and provide for his clan.

Django fills his role as provider excellently; however, he fails to realize that a parent should nurture as well as feed his children. By enlisting the aid of his clan to help Remy cook, Django finally accepts, not only his son's dreams, but also his total role as a parent. He has become a nurturer, just as Remy has with his cooking.

While that's all well and good, the real star of this subplot is the film's villain (and my new favorite Pixar character), Anton Ego.

Ego is a food critic, and, like many critics, he finds the easiest way to make a living from his criticism is to tear down. He delights in negative criticism, which sucks the soul from an artist (not to mention a star from Gusteau's restaurant). Indeed, Ego fits this negative definition of a critic so well that his entire world appears vampiric - his long frame, skeletal fingers, and thin lips mirror those of the classic vampire. Heck, his often even resembles a coffin. The man is initially a parasite - he makes his living by destroying, even devouring, others.

However, the end of the film finds Ego remembering and fulfilling the higher call of the critic. He chooses not to resort to negative criticism - which is profitable and "fun to write" - but instead puts his reputation and livelihood on the line to defend something new and enriching. Ultimately, he loses both, but he is still content, even happy, with the role he played. Ego learns to "nourish" with his criticism, becoming, in a sense, an artist himself.

Anton Ego's story is a bit preachy (and rubbed some critics the wrong way), but the message is one well-worth considering: Whatever you do, you can be an artist.

So, yeah, new favorite Pixar movie.

Art Class: Day 5

2011-10-13T19:45:00.000-07:00

The art course I signed up for is only six weeks long, so we're nearing the end. If there's one thing I've learned from the course, it's that I LOVE CHARCOAL DRAWING!

I know I say pretty much the same thing every week, but... DANG, charcoal is just FUN. Plus, it gets that black stain all over your fingers, so people see you and KNOW you've been doing something artistic. It's a good time.

It's also a LONG time - charcoal takes forever to get just the right shade of gray. Most of the charcoal pictures I've done so far (including the one above, which I copied from a photo in a National Geographic photo book) are unfinished, simply because I don't have the time in class to get everything just right.

We added a new tool today - a white Conté crayon. I got a bit of use out of it today - the crayon helped define the edges of the umbrella and some of the foam on the water (that's right, that's supposed to be water in the background). The white Conté is gonna take some getting used to, but I can see it being very useful.

Oh, I guess there's one other thing I learned from the art class - I'm one of those guys who licks his lips a lot when he's concentrating. Seriously, my lips kinda hurt right now. Time to go home and use that "True Aggie" chapstick I have left over from college - and I never even used it for what it's meant for...

There Are Many Roads To Braddy's Blog

2011-10-12T10:11:00.000-07:00

Man, some people...

I've seen some more rather ODD search terms lead people to my blog. Some of them, I'm actually able to identify where they lead - I went ahead and hyperlinked to the post for those search terms. Others have left me... UTTERLY baffled.

bored married couple
bad beard growth (I think I'm offended)
kevin smith bladder (also "batman pees himself")
girlfriend having nightmares (Umm... about me?)
disneys jasmine drinking
stupid cartoon (Okay, I KNOW I'm offended!)
tom welling hairline
calvin and hobbes he-man
cannibalism
naughty desirable
stay behind wikipedia español
how to draw bunny sitting in chair
"braddy" and "black swan" (What an... oddly specific search)
batman villion gril friends babes (???)

And here's my favorite of the bunch:

картинки о любви со смыслом

Okay, so I don't speak Russian, so I ran that text through Google translate, and it came out "pictures of the meaning of love."

I guess, according to Googe Image Search, love means wearing gas masks. And that PROVES I was right all along!

Charcoal 1

2011-10-11T18:09:00.000-07:00

I spent a night watching Lilo and Stitch and scribbling with the charcoal I've picked up from art class. And, well, it's not a perfect sketch... or even a good one, really (there's a finger smear that's really bugging me now).

Still, CHARCOAL IS FUN OH MY GOSH!

Typhoid Mary

2011-10-11T18:01:00.000-07:00

Typhoid Mary, quite contrary,
How does your garden grow?

First Date Freebies?

2011-10-11T13:28:00.001-07:00

It's not what you're thinking...

So the question's come up in conversation recently, "Should a girl always accept a request for a first date?" To my surprise, I found myself a bit conflicted on the issue, and, despite everything logic dictates, I tend to say that a woman should.

I mean, the first thought that comes to my head is, "Of COURSE you should be able to turn down any date you choose, ESPECIALLY if you feel threatened or otherwise ill at ease." I think specifically of an online-dating incident I read about where a young woman rejected a man's request to meet "IRL" at his cabin deep in the woods. Do I fault her for turning the man down? Not a bit.

Similarly, another friend of mine rejected a young man whom she had met briefly at a party. She says they didn't speak to each other at all. The man later sent her a message over Facebook, asking if they could go out. She told him no, and, again, I find myself agreeing with her decision - while the many forms of electronic communication make forming interpersonal relationships easily, I still feel a person should (excuse the expression) "man up" in dating matters and handle them face-to-face.

However, there's a third experience I often think of when confronted with the first-date question: Back in college, I asked out a girl I'd known for nearly the entire year. She responded by saying, "No, I'll be busy this weekend... and every weekend from now until the end of the semester."

Ouch. Coming from a culture where everyone is strongly encouraged to accept all offers for a first date, that smarts.

So, yeah, I guess I'm of the opinion that everyone should at least agree to ONE date with someone who makes the effort to actually ASK... unless you have a good reason not to... UNLESS the person who's asking is ME.

Art Class: Day 4

2011-10-07T07:49:00.000-07:00

The above isn't actually something that I worked on in class. It was a homework assignment: "Write your name 100 different ways." Obviously, I didn't quite make it.

Still, I actually found it to be a lot of fun coming up with different styles for letters. It took more concentration than usual to write my name, as I became more focused on the shape of the letter than the symbol itself. I'll probably come up with a few more "fonts" when my time opens up.

As for last night's class... We spent most of the time working on another still life arrangement composed of an object we brought from home (unfortunately titled our "fetish" object) and an object given us by the instructor. We worked primarily in charcoal and... well, I think I might be in love.

My two objects were a box of multi-sided dice and a metal creamer. Again, I started by plotting the basic shapes with the softer vine charcoal, and then I added more shades and values with compressed charcoal. Eventually, the goal was to add the darkest darks with a Conté crayon, but I never got that far (I haven't really been too impressed with Conté crayons at this point, anyway).

I regretted defining the faces of the dice with such dark lines after last night, but, looking at the scan this morning, I think there may be some potential in creating such definite lines in charcoal. Going forward, though, I'm going to leave line definitions to the easily-erased vine charcoal. I really enjoyed using the dark compressed charcoal to build a picture out of shadows and values rather than lines.

Before we left, we each received one micron pen to use for next week's class, so I've got that to look forward to.

Comics Aren't Just For Kids Anymore

2011-10-06T08:57:00.001-07:00

...although I'm starting to wish that they WERE.

There's been a lot of talk in the comic-book world recently about DC's relaunch, which was meant to draw in new readers to the world of superhero comics. While some of the books have received good reviews, most of the discussion has been on the new DC Comics' treatment of women. Almost everything I've heard about the relaunch has focused on the overt sexuality of the women depicted. Some critics have praised this move as a bold spin on the sexual politics of James Bond, while others decry it as almost pornographic pandering to the predominantly male comics-reading demographic.

Above: Could it be both?

My knee-jerk reaction which I have to clarify by saying that I haven't READ any of these comics - is to side with the latter camp. I've long since abandoned most of the embarassment I felt over reading superhero comics as a mature-ish adult; however, it's difficult for me to forget that a lot of that embarassment springs from the depiction of women IN comics.

For example, I've cited Marvel comics's Civil War miniseries as THE story that got me reading superhero comics again in my twenties. Civil War pitted the superheroes against each other after the Superhero Registration Act required costumed crimefighters to register with the government or face jail time. At the time I read it, I found the story to be an emotionally compelling and timely portrayal of the issues surrounding the Bush administration's war on terror.

(Since that time, I've found Civil War to be more than a little silly, since vigilantism is ALREADY illegal, but whatever.)

There's a particular panel in one of the very first issues that shows Tony Stark (AKA Robert Downey, Jr.) encouraging other heroes to register, as it's the "right thing to do" and "will help restore the public's trust in superheroes." Of course, the artist gives us the most appropriate visual presentation of Stark's impassioned appeal by situating the "camera" right behind She-Hulk's curvy spandexed posterior.

This is dramatically necessary to the plot.

An otherwise relevant (if a bit ham-fisted) message about the conflict between liberty and security is almost completely overshadowed by superheroine badonkadonk, and that's just... well, it misses the point. Sex (and violence) are often treated as mature subject matter, but when the sex and violence are needlessly wedged into a plot, the end result contains about as much maturity as a conversation between Beavis and Butthead.

I don't want to get all "Think of the children!" here, but, really, THAT'S where superhero comics get their fans. I started reading comics pretty much just in the newspaper; however, I watched X-Men and Batman: The Animated Series almost religiously. I started reading the actual comics at a much later age, but mainly to recapture some of the fun and magic of watching Wolverine, The Joker, and all the rest on the TV. Eventually, superhero comics led me to more sophisticated works, and I'm pretty happy with what I've discovered.

Next year, kids'll plop down in front of the TV to watch a new Batman cartoon. From the limited preview information available, they'll be able to see Batman go up against the nefarious Professor Pyg... who is probably most famous for giving Robin a lap-dance in his first appearance. Whether or not it makes for a good story, it's probably NOT appropriate reading material for a kid.

No lie, though - I LOVE this guy!

I have to say that it IS pretty funny that Batman's so heavily marketed towards children: "What do we do with a psychologically tormented man who saw his parents murdered in front of him and spends his time hunting down depraved, violent criminals? Slap his face on a lunchbox!" Seriously, that's like making a Dexter onesie for toddlers.

I love comics as a MEDIUM - I've often said the comic panel enables a uniquely creative approach to storytelling other media don't allow. In order for that medium to grow, it has to have a continually growing fan base - and, whether you think comics IN GENERAL are for kids or not, it's pretty apparent that SUPERHEROES appeal mainly to children. And me.

In my mind, there's no question that superheroes can be used to tell compelling stories for adults - despite what my mom says. Unfortunately, in the world of comics, at least, it seems like they're not doing as good a job hooking children as they could be. And, yeah, even though there are plenty of other good book choices for kids, that makes me a little sad.

Besides, those all-ages kiddie comics are STILL the ones that best suit my uptight Mormon sensibilities, so I would want to read them, too.

Strange Noises

2011-10-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

Independence Is Tough To Maintain Alone

2011-10-04T10:12:00.000-07:00

So life's been pretty busy of late. Here's the SHORT list of what I've been dealing with:

I just took over the role of executive director for The Jesters Royale.
My boss broke her ankle, and one of my other co-workers went on a cruise, reducing our four-man workforce to two. And guess who picked up ALL the extra work?
My art class is actually assigning homework, which means I have 65 drawings to complete by Thursday

The biggest change, though?

I moved last weekend.

When I first moved to downtown Salt Lake City almost three years ago, I did so with the intent of establishing some stability in my life. Up until that point, I'd moved two to three times a year. Things felt pretty turbulent and transitory, and I wanted to make a go at building some long-term relationships with the people around me.

And it worked... sort of. I definitely made myself a home in my cozy little one-bedroom apartment, but I got so intent on making my own life that I kinda shut out everyone and everything else. As a result, I think I even wound up losing a lot of my personal ambition...

So I have mixed feelings about sharing an apartment again. On the one hand, it feels like I somehow "lost" the independence game, and I now have to accept help from someone else. On the other hand, I'm now rooming with one of my favorite people of all time, so I made out pretty well.

I'm looking forward to spending a bit of time WITH a roommate, for a change, partially because it'll help me recuperate from some of the financial damage I took over the summer, and partially because having someone else around will help me get out of the slacker mentality I've recently fallen in to.

Anyway, now that the move's done and work's gone (mostly) back to normal, I've got some projects I can finally dedicate my attention to - I've got some art to make, some blogs to write, and... well, there's life away from the computer, too.

Art Class: Day 3

2011-10-03T06:51:00.000-07:00

We spent last week's drawing class scribbling with three different varieties of charcoal on HUGE pieces of pennyweight paper. So, yeah, you don't get scans this week. You get poor quality photos.

Enjoy.

Our subject for the day was a rather large pile of completely eclectic objects. We picked out a particular viewpoint and started sketching - first with the vine charcoal, and then we added more detail with compressed charcoal. After about fifteen minutes, we got up and changed places, taking over someone else's drawing. So the two pictures I've displayed here are the ones I started, but I didnt' get to this final image on my own.

The first view I picked out had a large vase of flowers framing a bust of Diana. I had originally left the upper-right field blank, but, after pressure from the instructor, I decided to add in the whiteboard (complete with the reflection of fluorescent lights on the surface).

It was difficult to accurately gauge the space between the vase and the bust... and I don't think anyone even WANTED to try to draw Diana's face.

The second picture I started was an extreme close-up of a small dragonfly pendant leaning up against a wooden box. That box really TICKED me off, too. I took it for granted that the box made a perfect cube, but the front plane was ACTUALLY slightly off from the rest of the box. It really messed up my perspective.

I feel a little bad taking credit for this piece, because it looks NOTHING like I originally planned. The others who contributed added most of the defining details.

Why I'm Still Single 37

2011-09-27T10:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Followers of Braddy's Blog:

Please accept this small, admittedly poor-quality cartoon with my humble apologies. My life's a bit on the busy side right now, so I'm afraid this may be the only post I make for a little while. I'll return as soon as I can with more shenanigans and the like.

Love (I guess),

S.R. Braddy

Art Class: Day 2

2011-09-23T07:29:00.000-07:00

Okay, so last week's hour was pretty much NOTHING I hadn't already learned from my independent study. This week, though, we got into some of the stuff I signed up to learn. We did a bit of perspective drawing and shading (two of my biggest problem areas), but we ALSO got into some new materials, including ink and vine charcoal.

I worked a lot more with value and shadow than I'm used to. It's all pretty much rubbish to look at right now, but I learned quite a bit.

We were given an object to sketch quickly using the ink. Can you tell what I picked? I can.*

Of my two ink pictures, I think I prefer this one - except I put it in the wrong place on the page. Layout's something I haven't really considered until now.

Vine charcoal I found difficult to work with, simply because it's not great at making definite lines. It's good for blending shadows, though. Too bad I suck at shadows.

*It's a pair of pliers. Hope you didn't cheat.

Movie of the Year: 2011

2011-09-21T08:28:00.000-07:00

I generally don’t watch a lot of movies in the theater – my time is too valuable and my wallet too thin. However, this past year, I’ve seen quite a few. More surprising (considering how discerning my tastes are) I’ve enjoyed all of them. Kung Fu Panda 2 impressed me with a sincere heart and surprisingly well-crafted plot, while Rango won me over with quirky visuals. The Help mixed comedy and drama with great effect, and Cowboys and Aliens was about the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen.

However, none of the above movies, nor any of the other films I’ve seen this year, brought me nearly as much joy as last night’s cinematic masterpiece. I’m not kidding, and I’m not trying to be funny – the movie I saw last night is easily the most enjoyable movie I’ve seen all year.

Heaven help me, but I loved the @#%$ out of Shark Night 3D.

I have to thank the lovely Larissa for being born and celebrating by taking us all to watch this masterpiece of a motion picture. Shark Night 3D is one of the most insane, over-the-top stories I’ve ever witnessed, and I enjoyed every second of it. I’ma get into some pretty intensive SPOILERS here, so if you ever plan on seeing Shark Night 3D, you may want to come back to this review later.

And if you’re NOT planning on seeing Shark Night 3D, you should probably reconsider that decision.

Shark Night 3D delivers exactly what it sets out to do, which is, of course, show a bunch of people get eaten to bits by sharks. In 3D. And, you know, it’s night, so… yeah, you get just what it says on the tin. But the QUALITY of the nocturnal fish feedings is what makes the movie such a delight.

The plot’s about what you’d expect from a horror/exploitation flick: A group of college kids head off to their rich friend’s island mansion for some weekend fun times complete with beer pong and sexy thongs, when they suddenly find themselves savaged by vicious sharks inhabiting the lake. Of course, their cell phones don’t get signal in the middle of the lake, and since rich people don’t believe in landlines, the kids are on their own.

Now, if you’re a smart viewer, you’re probably asking where the sharks are coming from, and how the crap they’re getting to a lake so far inland. Ready for the spoiler? It turns out a cabal of local crazies – made up primarily of the inbred hick, the pervert convenience store owner, the corrupt sheriff, and the rich girl’s bitter ex-boyfriend – bring the sharks into the lake and strap cameras to their heads so they can get film of sharks eating people.

That’s right – the villains of the picture are making shark snuff films.

SHARK.

SNUFF.

FILMS.

If that’s not already an episode of CSI… well, it SHOULD be.

The shark kills themselves are just about as spectacularly ludicrous as the plot itself. There’s one scene in particular where the pretty-boy jock is racing away on his jet ski, only to have a shark jump clean out of the water and swallow him whole (to the cheering and laughter of the whole audience). It’s completely ridiculous – but I guarantee it’d scare the Fonz away from the water for the rest of his life.

In case you’re worried, let me assure you it’s not just the violence that’s nonsensically exaggerated. Nearly 50% of the shots feature prominent booty or cleavage shots of the girl in the cast, and… well, I’m pretty sure that they use their 3D effects to their fullest. Are these shots shameless and demeaning? Definitely. Are they sexy or appealing? Not even a little bit. But they ARE freakin’ hilarious.

Oh, and true to horror movie fashion, it’s pretty much just the prettiest and most virginal of the white people that survive to the movie’s end. As you’d expect, the sex-obsessed get killed off pretty thoroughly, but it’s really the film’s treatment of its token characters that surprised me most. Seriously, Shark Night 3D killed off its minority members faster than the KKK after Affirmative Action.

And I know I say this a lot, but that last sentence is the single most horrifying thing I’ve EVER written.

Now, if you do see Shark Night 3D, you MUST stay through to the end of the credits. It seems most movies have SOME kind of little tag at the end, whether it’s a blooper reel or just a horrifying little monkey. But Shark Night 3D doesn’t settle for anything so mundane. No, they have a RAP number performed by the members of the cast:

Yo, shark! You bit my girlfriend and now she’s dead
So I’m gonna run this spear through your mother-sharkin’ head!

(Sadly, the author of this blog was not able to remember the lyrics exactly; however, the line “mother-sharkin’” IS dropped, and it is AWESOME.)

Okay, so Shark Night 3D is not in any way a GOOD movie, but… wait, did you just faint from the shock of that revelation? Seriously? C’mon, pick yourself up off the floor. You look ridiculous.

No, if you want a quality flick that’ll enrich your soul and strengthen your mind, go see… anything else. Heck, I’m willing to bet you’d find more substance in Sex and the City 2. But for my money, those movies aren’t nearly as fun as Shark Night 3D.

Just be sure the theater’s empty when you watch the movie so people don’t get upset while you “Statler and Waldorf” it to death.

Braddy's Bubble

2011-09-19T11:44:00.000-07:00

For those of you who don't know (or don't remember):

I frickin' HATE being touched.*

I don't know why I hate physical contact so much. I didn't have a problem with touching in high school - I was about as huggy as every other hormonally-imbalanced human youngling. I did have a rather disproportionate number of young men ask to spoon with me while I served my LDS mission, but I don't know if that necessarily correlates.

Now, I'm not nearly as anti-touch as I used to be (the above comic is a slight exaggeration of an actual occurence). My recovery's been slow - I can pat people friendly-like on the arm, and an occasional hug is appropriate depending on the situation. However, I still get nervous if people touch me too casually or for too long. So, yeah, don't do it.

The whole "I'm not touching you!" thing hasn't bugged me since I was, like, seven, so you can skip doing that, too.

Oddly enough, I have I have almost no boundaries on stage. I was "cured" after an unfortunate incident during an improv show regarding Jourdan Dixon and an obsession with belly buttons...

...that someone decided to immortalize on camera. Joy.

Anyway, I'm still pretty uptight about physical contact. Maybe I'm just insane, but I like to think I'm a romantic - I'm saving myself for marriage... or something.

Whatever. At least I don't punch people anymore.

*The above comic is a duplicate of one I drew a couple years ago. Since then, my skills in MS Paint have improved a little. I now have to acknowledge that punching women is never ever ever funny in any circumstance, so shame on you for laughing.

Art Class: Day 1

2011-09-15T19:45:00.001-07:00

So I signed up for a drawing class, thinking my skills would progress a little better if I had a more disciplined learning environment for a while. We started off the class with contour drawings of another person in class - meaning that we drew one other person in the classroom without looking at all at our hands as we drew.

Here's what my partner came up with while drawing me:

Personally, I think it's a fantastic likeness!

Dream: The Meaning of a Kiss

2011-09-14T11:45:00.000-07:00

I may regret posting this...

Last night's dream is one of the strangest I think I've had - although I'm not sure I can call it "strange" in the same sense as I refer to my dream of shooting up a casino with my buddy Chewbacca.

Like most of the dreams I seem to find worth mentioning, this dream featured a woman I've never met in waking life. I got the impression that the woman and I fought a lot, but, really, I barely knew her. She was definitely a pretty girl, but the dress she wore couldn't hide the fact that she hadn't shaved her legs in a couple of days - there were a couple of odd hairs poking out around her knees.

The girl sat me down on the floor and then knelt in front of me. "I have something I want to try," she said. "If two people sit very close to each other, with their faces almost touching, they'll be able to find out more about each other."

You can probably tell where this is going...

"You see," she said, "the longer two people can tolerate being next to each other, the more likely..."

She never finished the sentence. Here she was - a beautiful woman (with, admittedly, an obvious but minor physical imperfection) right in front of me, almost BEGGING to be kissed.

Give the people what they want, I always say.

Of course, that's the time the construction started outside my apartment, so I woke up before I got to see how the girl reacted to me kissing her out of the blue. Considering how long the kiss lasted before we got interrupted, though, I doubt she minded too much.

I've been thinking about this dream all day, and I've got two different theories about what it might mean:

The great apartment hunt of 2011 is still ongoing. We've already passed on a couple of pretty decent places with just a small thing or two wrong (like the unshaved legs on my dream girl), holding out for something just a little better. The dream could be telling me to find those slightly imperfect opportunities, forget about the little things that go wrong, and kiss them right on the mouth.
I haven't had a good snog in three years and it's time to DO something about that.

Either way, I think it's time I faced up to the fact that I've got some pretty dramatic changes coming my way.

Our Love is Apocalyptic

2011-09-13T18:04:00.001-07:00

Love may not be forever, but ours has a really long half-life.

Social Graces and Button Clicks

2011-09-13T15:50:00.000-07:00

Back in our grandparents' day, there existed a social expectation of reciprocity. Good manners demanded you to respond to letters you received in the mail or visit someone who had been to see you the week before. Even an invitation to a social function came with the expectation of a written RSVP.

In today's world of social media, it seems the same expectations still exist. Photo tags demand comments, comments demand responses, and all friendings and followings should be mutual (Google+ would beg to differ, but what do they know). Frankly, it can be difficult to keep up with all the responses and repostings that modern online etiquette demands.

Thank goodness for the Facebook "Like" button.

The "Like" button can indicate a variety of things - assent, satisfaction, and even pleasure. Most often, however, it fills the role of an expected response - "I appreciate that you acknowledged I have something to say."

The "Like" button also frees us from the chains of reciprocity. Once something is "Liked," no more action is needed. Someone may, if they choose, "Like" a post in return for the "Like" they received, but no such demand is made. And it's impossible to "Like" a "Like," for that would lead to a "Like" on a "Like" on a "Like," and that's the doorway to madness right there.

The Facebook "Like" button - one more way the internet helps you be less polite.

Braddy Reads Odd and the Frost Giants

2011-09-12T10:50:00.000-07:00

I'm always intrigued by Neil Gaiman's work. He's a big name in the world of comic books, with some pretty big-name titles like Sandman under his belt. He's also one of the biggest fantasy writers out there, giving us both Stardust and American Gods. I recognize that he's written some darn good stuff, so I give everything he writes a try. I wind up hating almost all of it.

Except his children's literature. I LOVE that stuff.

I picked up Odd and the Frost Giants from the library while on my lunch break, and had the book finished by the end of the hour. Odd is about 100 pages long, with about as much plot to fit in there. It's about the simplest read I've indulged in since reading The Boxcar Children back in grade school.

Thing is, it was a pretty rewarding read.

Odd is a crippled boy living in a viking village. He happens to meet a trio of enchanted animals and offers to help them reclaim their kingdom from the frost giant that cast them out. Then... he does it. The end.

What impressed me most about this little book is just how much Gaiman is able to do in those quick 100 pages. Not a single plot element introduced in the first twenty pages or so is ignored - the story is tight and well crafted. True, the language is simple (it IS a children's book, after all), but I felt pretty well-rewarded for reading it.

So, yeah, if you ever have an hour to spare, pick up Odd and the Frost Giants.

Old Friends, Dear Friends

2011-09-09T10:39:00.000-07:00

Oh, man. It's been a good day. I just got a message from an old friend of mine who's in town and wants to meet up. I haven't seen Sophia Jenkins in a LONG time - it's so nice to hear from her.

It'd be great to catch up with such a good friend after so long an absence. I mean, just look at this highly personal and emotional message she sent me:

Stephen I'm in town for the next week and I need to c u! I've been waiting so long for this.....I wrote you a secret message that I want u to see and my room number you just have to add this app to your profile to see it I didn't want anyone else to :) U can add it to your profile at [URL removed - it's much too personal and heartfelt to share] You better get ahold of me!!!

XOXOXOXOXO
..

I'm touched. Truly. And moved.

It's too bad she couldn't be bothered to actually spell out "see you," or I'd WANT to meet up with her again.

Braddy Reads Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie

2011-09-09T08:00:00.000-07:00

After reading a rather large stack of "real literature," I felt it was time to kick back and read some lighter stuff before diving back in. I found a couple of books based on friends' suggestions and powered through them. Sometimes it's nice to be able to get through a book in a single week... or even less (more on that later).

A friend recommended David Lubar's Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie after reading it through and noticing certain similarities between the main character and your humble blogger. I wondered if I should be offended. Then I started reading... and knew I should be.

I kid, I kid. I'll admit to being a bit uncomfortable with the comparison, but most of that has to do with my discomfort with teenagers (they scare the living $#@% out of me). And Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie has A LOT of teenagers in it.

The story's pretty predictable: Scott Hudson starts high school, dreads being unpopular, gets beat up and crushes on the unattainable girl, starts to make friends with people he feels he shouldn't be seen with, hates all his classes except one where he feels understood, etc. Even though I can't name a single other book that has a similar plot, I know I've read this type of story before... It's kind of forgettable.

Still, I'd say Sleeping Freshmen is well worth reading, despite the unimaginative plot. The central message - learning to respect yourself without regards for what others think of you - is pretty important for teenagers to hear, so I can give the author a bye on that. The real draw to the book, though, is Scott's personal writing.

Throughout the book, the author inserts several clips from Scott's notebook - letters he writes to his unborn brother, lists of survival tips for high schoolers, opinions and editorials... The jokes are often immature and unsophisticated, but that doesn't stop them from being genuinely funny.

One caveat, though - Scott discovers Tom Swifties in the first chapter or two, and he employs them throughout the book. I've read enough of Boys' Life magazine back when I was in Scouts to know that Tom Swifties just AREN'T funny. Bleagh.

I've been a little harder on the book than I meant to. Sleeping Freshmen Never Lie isn't going to win any awards, but it doesn't have to. The book is funny, full of likeable characters, and just original enough to make it worthwhile.

Flashes of Brilliance

2011-09-08T12:14:00.000-07:00

As critical and, at times, cynical as I can be, I find it difficult to find movies that I completely and totally enjoy. It's not hard for me to find a movie that I can TOLERATE - I'm perfectly willing to overlook an imperfection or two to kill a few hours. However, when it comes to movies that actually INSPIRE me to the point where I want a second viewing... well, those films are harder to come by.

Case in point: I recently watched the movie Black Swan DESPITE its R-rating (a level of "maturity" I usually avoid) in order to revel a bit in the weirdness that is Darren Aranofsky. I knew there was a scene all uptight Mormons should avoid; so, when that scene came on, I promptly left the room and brushed my teeth. Five minutes later, when my gums started bleeding, I shouted, "They're STILL GOING?!"

So, yeah, I didn't enjoy the movie as much as everyone else. However, the last half hour, where Natalie Portman's character dances the black swan routine, may be the most brilliant half-hour of moviedom I've ever seen. The dancing is beautiful, the visual effects spectacular, and the emotional payload is explosive.

Also, it made me want to see a ballet, so good job, movie!

And speaking of dances... I think I've finally figured out why I can't bring myself to hate Tangled despite everything the movie does wrong... It's the dance sequence.

It's not really anything obviously spectacular, but the town dance in Tangled is rather brilliantly executed. The scene begins before we're even aware of the fiddle music that sweeps Rapunzel, Flynn, and the whole city into a Riverdancing frenzy. I'd watch the whole movie - terrible songs and all - for that one sequence.

Finally, I'm reminded of the movie Up, which I thought indicated Pixar was running out of ideas. Sure, the PREMISE is pretty unique - a man and a stowaway boy scout float away in a house full of balloons - but the execution doesn't do anything special with the premise. Instead, we get two hours of stale old-man jokes and Star Wars references. And, of course, that talking dog which I hate so much to the surprise of absolutely no one.

Still, those first fifteen minutes of the movie, showing Carl's and Ellie's courtship, are just beautifully simple. In fact, I'd go so far as to say the opening scene to Up is the best fifteen minutes in animated history - or pretty darn close to it.

So with the introdution to Up, the dance interlude in Tangled, and the finale of Black Swan, I could put together one utterly brilliant little movie.

Turn it over to you now: Any movies that you LOVE... for fifteen minutes?

Enter Gachnar the Computer Demon!

2011-09-07T08:48:00.001-07:00

As long as it's been since the last time I posted any of my artwork, you'd think I'd have more to show for it... Oh, well. Here's what I've got:

Some of you may have missed the Jesters' fantastic 80s Night show a couple weeks ago. Well, never fear! Here we have a quick doodle of Blake in his authentic 1987 mullet and wife beater combo. The man has never looked finer...

...except for, like, every day of his life. Blake is much more handsome than this picture would imply.

I think I meant to take more time on this particular picture than I did... Some of the proportions are all off, and I'm not quite sure with how the menacing man in the poncho turned out. Actually, what's with his ensemble as a whole? It's kind of a mix of genres there.

The guy in the front, though, turned out pretty well.

***

Now for the main event.

I was "commissioned" a while back to make a drawing specifically for a friend of mine. My price was a bowl of ice cream (what can I say? I'm a sellout). Here's the description of what my friend wanted me to draw:

I need a picture of the little demon monster that lives in my computer. His name is Gachnar and he is little and evil and mean and sneaky and has horns and likes to play pranks and pinch ankles. Do you think you can do it? Puh-lease?

So here we have Gachnar, the computer demon that lives in Jenn's computer and pinches her ankles.

He's made himself quite at home.

I read somewhere recently that people prefer cartoons with lots of little details rather than lots of white space. It's like they think they're actually paying for the ink the artist uses, so they want their money's worth. While I don't know if that's ALWAYS the case, I'm certainly grateful for the extra time I was able to put into this second Gachnar sketch. It came out a LOT better for those little details.

Art Preservation and Star Wars

2011-09-06T13:28:00.001-07:00

If you're a nerd, you may already be aware of the fiasco surrounding the latest re-re-re-release of the classic Star Wars trilogy, where George Lucas inserted more revamped effects and sound clips, including blinking Ewoks. Personally, I'm pretty much done discussing Star Wars - the original trilogy is a great cultural artifact that doesn't hold up to modern scrutiny, the fans are overly possessive, and the creators totally incapable of recapturing their earlier glory no matter how hard they try.

I have no grudges - although I may have once or twice demanded that George Lucas return the childhood he stole from me. In jest, of course. I don't want that childhood back (Could I have Richie Rich's instead?).

All the hubbub surrounding George Lucas RUINING THINGS FOREVER did, in fact, churn up one interesting treasure in its wake: an excerpt from an address George Lucas gave before congress in 1988. I'm including the segment I found most interesting below, for those too lazy to click on one more hyperlink. The quote is all Lucas; the bold print all mine.

A copyright is held in trust by its owner until it ultimately reverts to public domain. American works of art belong to the American public; they are part of our cultural history.

People who alter or destroy works of art and our cultural heritage for profit or as an exercise of power are barbarians, and if the laws of the United States continue to condone this behavior, history will surely classify us as a barbaric society. The preservation of our cultural heritage may not seem to be as politically sensitive an issue as "when life begins" or "when it should be appropriately terminated," but it is important because it goes to the heart of what sets mankind apart. Creative expression is at the core of our humanness. Art is a distinctly human endeavor. We must have respect for it if we are to have any respect for the human race.

These current defacements are just the beginning. Today, engineers with their computers can add color to black-and-white movies, change the soundtrack, speed up the pace, and add or subtract material to the philosophical tastes of the copyright holder. Tommorrow, more advanced technology will be able to replace actors with "fresher faces," or alter dialogue and change the movement of the actor's lips to match. It will soon be possible to create a new "original" negative with whatever changes or alterations the copyright holder of the moment desires. The copyright holders, so far, have not been completely diligent in preserving the original negatives of films they control. In order to reconstruct old negatives, many archivists have had to go to Eastern bloc countries where American films have been better preserved.

In the future it will become even easier for old negatives to become lost and be "replaced" by new altered negatives. This would be a great loss to our society. Our cultural history must not be allowed to be rewritten.

...

Attention should be paid to this question of our soul, and not simply to accounting procedures. Attention should be paid to the interest of those who are yet unborn, who should be able to see this generation as it saw itself, and the past generation as it saw itself.

I hope you have the courage to lead America in acknowledging the importance of American art to the human race, and accord the proper protection for the creators of that art as it is accorded them in much of the rest of the world communities.

I'm reminded of an experience from a couple of years ago at Salt Lake City's Organ Loft, where old silent films are showed while a live organist accompanies. Normally, the Organ Loft is a fun little dip into history - you get the feel for how the old Chaplin and Keaton films were originally meant to be seen.

The Organ Loft proudly presented the horror classic Nosferatu in 3-D. I've always found 3-D in movies gimmicky and unnecessary, but I loved seeing the original Nosferatu the year previous, so I thought this would be a good opportunity to catch the film again - and bring a date. Unfortunately, the movie wound up being kind of terrible. The team that worked 3-D into the Max Schreck classic also added their own scenes, rewritten tile cards, and a terrible animated segue sequence using the bat symbol from the 1960's Batman series.

In short, the movie - a timeless film with a strong following and emotionally-moving story that transcended genre restrictions was bogged down by unnecessary additions that clashed with the aesthetic already established by the time in which the film was made.

Sounds almost exactly like what's going on with Star Wars right now. At least, it would to someone who cared.

Since it's such a (relatively) new form of artistic expression - and since it's so often linked with big Hollywood business - film as a potential historical artifact seems to get neglected. I'm all for raising awareness of film preservation and artistic merit. Literature and history classes in the future may well turn to film as another text worthy of study.

After all, it was a literature class that introduced me to Charlie Chaplin, and I'll forever be grateful for that.

We Suck At Language

2011-09-02T08:48:00.001-07:00

Now look what you did!

I doubt this is a new concept to anyone who has ever gotten a text message before (and, if you haven't, let me be the first to say, "Good morning, Mr. Van Winkle!"), but I get the impression that English speakers don't understand how to best use their own language. In reading some of the great books of the English language, I've noticed that masters of language use words as a painter would use a fine brush - to carefully mark almost imperceptible yet meaningful distinctions. Unfortunately, it seems that the bulk of the English-speaking population uses words more like a preschooler with fingerpaints and an IV full of paste.

I got to thinking about the subject of language and definition last weekend, when I sat through a performance of Little Happy Secrets, wherein the lead uttered the line, "Whoever invented the cell phone needs to be drawn and quartered." While the author narrowly avoided a major cliche by invoking the ancient act of drawing and quartering, I've heard this line and several variations so often that I don't think I ever need to hear anything beyond the line "Whoever invented..." unless the speaker actually means to PRAISE the invention - which would be a nearly revolutionary use of the phrase.

In Politics and the English Language, George Orwell condemned the use of cliches and stock phrases (like the above "Whoever invented" phrase) which "save much mental effort." Prefabricated phrases make the meaning behind the words almost impossible to determine and take nearly all the art out of speaking. The English language, with all its potential for shining beauty, is thus rendered dulled and lusterless.

Which, by the way, makes me a little embarassed to have a blog with a cliche title like "The Life and Times of S.R. Braddy." The same title formula describes biographies of everyone from Allen Ginsberg to Scrooge McDuck.

I've also reflected a bit on words that have been used so often that their meaning has been diluted. Take the word "awesome," for example. Merriam-Webster defines the word "awe" as "an emotion variously combining dread, veneration, and wonder that is inspired by authority or by the sacred or sublime." Now, with that in mind, take a look at this monolog from comedian Eddie Izzard:

The universe is "awesome" using the original version, the meaning of the word awesome, yeah? Not the new one which is sort of for socks and hot dogs: "Hey! Red and yellow - awesome! You got red and yellow socks, they're awesome!" You know... I saw an advert for 'awesome hot dogs, only $2.99'. If they were awesome you'd be going, "I can not breathe for the way the sausage is held by the bun. It is… it is speaking to me. It is saying 'we are lips and thighs... of a donkey. Please eat us... but do not think that we are lips when you eat us, otherwise you'll throw up.'" Which is true! It's awesome!

America needs the old version of awesome, because you're the only ones going into space. You've got a bit of cash and you go up there, and you need "awesome" because you're going to be going to the next sun to us. And your President's going to be going, "Can you tell me, astronaut, can you tell me what it's like?"

"It's awesome, sir."

"What, like a hot dog?"

"Like a hundred billion hot dogs, sir."

I wish we could blame the texting generation for what's happened to words which used to be full of meaning, but I'm pretty sure my generation (also known as the "Ninja Turtle Generation") must shoulder most of the blame for this decidedly un-bodacious turn of events.

Cowabunga.

Ironically, the trend of shortening words that dominates text messages may actually save the language in some respects. The word "love," for example, now looks a bit like a bruised apple in normal conversation. In texting, the word "love" is often abbreviated as the symbol "<3" which has in turn been converted to the unusual verb "heart," as in "Oh Em Gee I Heart You Lawl." In my normal foul temper I'd be inclined to condemn this practice as vapid and shallow; however, that very negative association could actually save the word "love" from falling into the same void of meaning where we now find "awesome." See, I may not know how I feel when someone says, "I love you": should I be worried that I don't reciprocate their deep and profound feelings or offended that they esteem me as much as their favorite Beefy Cheese Burrito? On the other hand, I know EXACTLY how to respond to "I heart you."

It'd be difficult to demand that EVERYONE carry a pocket dictionary and refer to it repeatedly during conversation - but that won't stop me from trying. At the very least, I hope we all can be a little more aware of what the words we say actually mean. George Orwell and I both thank you.

If The Bugs Ever Gang Up On Us, We're Screwed

2011-08-31T11:21:00.000-07:00

The other day, I had a dream - almost a nightmare, actually - that woke me up in a bit of a panic. In the dream, I chased a small, green bug around my apartment. Now, this isn't an uncommon occurence - I'm in a ground floor apartment that's usually pretty full of bugs (one of the reasons I'm getting kinda excited to move). However, what happened next...

I must have tripped, because, before I knew it, I was on the floor. I could see the bug, hiding in the corner of the room. The bug suddenly turned and jumped towards me, covering the ground between us with terrifying speed. I crawled away as quickly as I could, but the bug was faster. It made a last leap and landed right on the side of my neck. I heard it bite me, and it made a terrible noise, a mix between a metallic grating and a choir of the damned.

That's the part that woke me up.

Worst part about the dream? I woke up at, like, 9:30. On a Saturday, when I'd normally sleep in until 11:00.

That's TRULY evil!

Braddy Reads... Like a Writer

2011-08-30T12:35:00.000-07:00

Every now and again, I feel a tinge of guilt that I did NOT actually read all of the texts I was assigned to read back in college. I still wound up reading approximately 36 books a semester, though, so I don't usually feel all THAT guilty. Still, I like to go back sometimes and read some of the books I was assigned in school but never actually got around to.

I just finished Francine Prose's Reading Like a Writer, which was an assigned text for one of the many, many creative writing courses I took. Prose's thesis is that a writer learns best how to write not through the workshop method so popular these days (and ironically the method that made up the very class wherein I received this book) but through methodical study of the writing styles of the masters of the past.

To get her point across, Prose includes vast excerpts from novels and short stories of the past 200 years, which she then meticulously breaks down to analyze why the writing is so good. She makes her point pretty well, but... well, she doesn't do much to prove her OWN writing talent. I'll just say it's gotta be nice to put a book out there that's only 50% what you wrote yourself.

I kid. Prose's writing is just fine. In fact, she concludes her analysis of some lengthy Chekhov passages with a passionate little appeal that may well become a mantra of sorts for me:

Come back! I've made a mistake. Forget observation, consciousness, clear-sightedness. Forget about life. Read Chekhov, read the stories straight through. Admit that you understand nothing of life, nothing of what you see. Then go out and look at the world.

Still, Prose's purpose in writing her book is to... convince people to go and read OTHER books. And... well, she was successful. I've compiled a list of books Prose recommends EVERYONE read that I'll personally be hunting down to read for myself - and hopefully fill in some gaps in that English major education of mine.

Here's the short list (in no real order):

Flannery O'Connor, A Good Man is Hard to Find and Other Stories
F. Scott Fitzgerald, The Great Gatsby
Philip Roth, American Pastoral
Raymond Chandler, The Big Sleep
Gertrude Stein, The Autobiography of Alice B. Toklas
Raymond Carver, Where I'm Calling From: Selected Stories
Paula Fox, Desperate Characters
Henry James, The Turn of the Screw
Richard Price, Freedomland
Stuart Dybek, I Sailed with Magellan
Heinrich von Kleist, The Marquise of O-
Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice (shut up)
George Eliot, Middlemarch
Gustave Flaubert, Sentimental Education
Henry Green, Doting and Loving
Scott Spencer, A Ship Made of Paper
Joy Williams, Escapes
Harold Brodkey, Stories in an Almost Classical Mode
Franz Kafka, Metamorphosis and Other Stories
Anton Chekhov, Tales of Anton Chekhov
Ivan Turgenev, First Love
Samuel Beckett, The Complete Short Prose, 1929-1989
Juan Rulfo, Pedro Paramo

And, yes, that's actually the SHORT list.

Now I guess it's on to the next book - cuz this list might take a while.

Little Happy Secrets: An Unusual Mormon Play

2011-08-29T10:33:00.000-07:00

The Salt Lake Acting Company recently put on a production of Melissa Leilani Larson's short play, Little Happy Secrets, which I caught Friday night. The play tells the story of a young woman named Claire, a good little Mormon girl who served a faithful mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, studied at BYU, and fell in love with her female roommate.

So, yeah, it's not exactly another fluffy Mormon show.

The LDS church has a difficult history with its gay and lesbian members (and, if that's news to you, you may want a stronger sunscreen to keep your skin all pasty pale after all those years living under rocks). The church does not support same-sex marriage and teaches that a homosexual lifestyle is sinful. As a result, homosexuality is a difficult subject to talk about among members of the church.

Going in to Little Happy Secrets, I expected some discomfort during the show. After all, I consider myself a faithful, almost-orthodox Mormon - one who loves bawdy humor a bit too much, maybe, but practicing nonetheless. I did find the play a LITTLE uncomfortable, but not for the reason I expected.

See, I could RELATE to Claire on all of the little things she spoke about during the play. Boiled down to its simplest element, Little Happy Secrets is a story about a girl in love with someone who does not love her back, and that's something I, like most people, know too well. And, really, how hard is that to sympathize with?

Little Happy Secrets wisely avoids the political tangles surrounding homosexuality and focuses on the human side of things. The story doesn't seek to change people's minds or convert them to a particular point of view. Rather, it simply presents a human story and invites us to be compassionate for the person. Whatever your opinions on same-sex attraction (and, please, keep them to yourself - my blog is NOT the forum for this discussion), can you really say that there's a single person undeserving of some compassion?

And that's the great thing about art: it's non-judgmental. The rest of the evening, I kept having this line running through my head - a modification of 1 Corinthians 13: "Art suffereth long, and is kind... seeketh not her own... but rejoiceth in the truth."

I was also dwelling on that line from Hamlet: "I say, we will have no more marriages. Those that are married already—all but
one—shall live; the rest shall keep as they are." Not quite sure why.

Since you may be wondering, the aspect of the play that made me uncomforable was the presentation. Little Happy Secrets is written as an extended monologue/flashback - thus, a good 90% of the dialogue comes from one person, whose inner turmoil is reflected so well in the text that the entire play comes out in a near emotional monotone. There's a bit of a shouting match towards the end, and the last five minutes or so contain an emotional gutpunch that make the rest of the show worth it, but the rest of the show felt a bit too bland in comparison.

It's also a very talky production - most of the feelings are described to us rather than shown to us. That's not NECESSARILY a bad thing, but I've always been a "show-don't-tell" kind of guy (a phrase which, in this context, contains unfortunate echoes of "don't ask, don't tell").

In the end, though, I'm glad I saw Little Happy Secrets. It's not quite Living Scriptures, but it's not The Book of Mormon musical, either.

Complacency Is For The Weak. You're Not Weak, Are You, Punk?

2011-08-26T08:04:00.001-07:00

I'd hardly be the first to note that his college years were full of change. I moved probably six or seven times over the course of those four years. As a result, when I graduated from college and moved to Salt Lake, I did so with the intention of creating a more or less permanent home - which I've done fairly successfully for the past three years. This past year, though...

2011 is shaping up to be the year when the universe conspired against me to prove I'm not nearly as independent and self-sufficient as I thought - which is a pretty devastating blow to my ego.

Very first day of the year, I got robbed. A couple months later, my car died. Then my social circle was upset when the LDS church decided to mix up their young single adult program.

The biggest kick in the face, though, came last night, when my new landlord came by to introduce himself. The conversation started all friendly, but then he told me that my rent's going up $15 in September, and, unless I sign another year-long lease, it'll go up another $20 a month thereafter.

Now, I like my apartment... but not that much. It's a rat hole. Not LITERALLY a "rat hole," though. Maybe a "roach hole." I can't afford to pay even that extra $15 a month, ESPECIALLY since I'm already scrimping to pay off the car I just bought four months ago.

I've been able to live more or less comfortably on my own for several years, but apparently no longer. So I'm apartment shopping - and likely roommate shopping, too. I've got a good lead already on WHO I can live with, but I really need to find a WHERE.

And soon. September's almost here.

Man Is The Most Dangerous Game

2011-08-24T12:30:00.000-07:00

Ultimate frisbee's about the only sport I can actually play - because it's super easy.

Five Favorite Webcomics

2011-08-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

I read a lot of comics when I was a kid - usually in the newspaper - but I wasn't a huge enthusiast of the medium until I hit adulthood. My renewed interest in comics may have actually been spurred on by the number of quality webcomics I encountered while in college. While print in general (and print comics in particular) have been hyped as dying media, the webcomic seems to be blooming - and no one's happier about that than I am.

Here are a couple of my favorite webcomics:

XKCD

Easily among the most famous of webcomics, xkcd mixes math and science with a sharp and sometimes vicious sense of humor. Dabbling in subjects ranging from pop culture to maturity back to modern technology, xkcd is usually good for a chuckle and almost always relevant. Also, it's had a palpable influence on some of my own silly cartoons.

Sample Strips

Grownups
Duty Calls
Dental Nerve

AWESOME HOSPITAL

The newest of the webcomics on my list. While not strictly a superhero comic, Awesome Hospital often nods towards (and mocks) current goings-on in mainstream superhero comics. Beyond that, though, the doctors and nurses of Awesome Hospital exemplify everything that is "awesome" and crank it up to 11. I find the stories a good dose of over-the-top fun.

Sample Strips

I Am Hendrix
Dr. New Country
Dr. Pennyfarthing

NEDROID

Nedroid chronicles the adventures of Beartato and Reginald, two best friends who... do... stuff. Okay, so there's not much of a "plot" to speak of. It's the friendship between the giant bird and the odd little bear monster that makes these jokes so effective - there's a bit of cruelty in their behavior, but it's usually good-natured, born of ignorance rather than malice. Plus, Nedroid revels in absurdity - some strips feel like verbatim conversations I have with my friends in our sillier moods.

Sample Strips

Dare Master
Nice Try Though
You Comics

HARK! A VAGRANT

There aren't enough comics out there that poke fun at history and literature. Hark! A Vagrant tackles subjects on the far end of the nerdery scale from xkcd, revealing that poking fun at Jules Verne is a lot more enjoyable than one would initially think. The artwork seems a bit simplistic, but clever writing and an uncontested control over a particular niche in comedy make this comic a must-read - if your sense of humor's a bit crass.

Sample Strips

Another Case of Watsons
The Younger Self
Jane Austen

Order of the Stick

I've been reading Order of the Stick since college. This comic's probably the most niche-interest of all the webcomics I read - and I'm not even IN that niche. It's a parody webcomic couched in the trappings of an epic fantasy that mocks conventions of role-playing games like Dungeons and Dragons. Now, I'm not a big fan of either fantasy novels or role-playing games (even though I understand most of the rules of both), but I absolutely love this comic - one of the best examples of long-form comic storytelling I've ever seen.

Sample Strips

Armor Begone
Proof That I Am Deeply Disturbed
The Test of the Mind