One Weird@## Dream

I present for your consideration last night's dream:

For some reason, I found myself chained to the dashboard of a stationary van. There were additional passengers in the backseat, screaming frantically. Whoever chained us inside the van planted a bomb inside, minutes away from exploding.

Luckily, our unseen captor didn't deem it necessary to deprive me of my gun, nor did he chain me so tightly that I couldn't SHOOT THE CHAINS OFF (in my dreams, I'm surprisingly hardcore). I escaped the vehicle and started herding the rest of the frightened passengers out... into the parking lot of a local WinCo supermarket.

Winco: The Supermarket and Terrorist Low Price Leader?

One single passenger was still trying to make her way out of the van: a poor mother with a broken leg in a comically oversized cast, trying to juggle crutches, a diaper bag, and a screaming baby. How often have we all seen that? Well, except for the bomb part.

I ran back to the woman and took the baby from her arms so she could finish getting out of the car - and I swear to you that the baby I help looked exactly like this:

It's full of stars.

It was the strangest thing - I immediately felt this sense of attachment to the child, like its survival was suddenly somehow the most important thing in the world. I put my hand gently under the baby's head and cradled it close.

Then the mom told me I was doing it wrong and snatched the baby back.

I'm not sure exactly what happened next. Presumably, the van blew up and we all went shopping.