Ten Favorite Video Game Moments

I’ve been looking pretty seriously at getting a new video game system for the sole reason that I keep hearing about all these awesome games that aren’t coming out for my PS2. It’s an extreme case of “Me, Too” Syndrome (which I’ll call M2S, because I like how that looks) that’s easily treated by exposure to my current bank statements. Anyway, all this thinking about video games has caused me to look back and reminisce about the great moments I’ve had with the games I’ve already played. I decided, for what amounts to no good reason at all, to write profusely about my favorite moments from video game history. Guess that means I don’t actually WANT a date this weekend.

Favorite Moment #1 – “Still Alive”

I’ll start off with the game that most makes me WANT to buy a newer system: Portal. If you’ve played the game before, then the above screenshot should make you giggle in pure childish glee. If you’ve never played the game, you might as well kill yourself. Seriously, you’re life’s pretty much over. (Well, I GUESS you COULD just play a friend’s copy, but whatever, man.)

While Portal in and of itself is a great game – fun to play and entertaining throughout – it wasn’t until the very end that I decided the game belongs on the list of “best things ever.” Your main adversary throughout the game, a sadistic AI named GLaDOS, sings a rather touching and thoroughly delightful farewell song as the credits roll. I watched my college roommate beat the game and loved the song so much that I played the whole thing through myself just to hear it again. Of course, thanks to the magic of YouTube, that isn’t strictly necessary.

If you consider yourself to be a gamer of any kind, you owe it to yourself to experience the magic that is “Still Alive.”

Favorite Moment #2 – “Katamari Damacy”

I’m not 100% sure WHY I decided I should pick Katamari Damacy up for the PS2, but I haven’t regretted it since. The gameplay’s bizarre (and maybe a bit repetitive), but the flashy visuals and charmingly cheerful soundtrack make this game a shot of endorphins straight to the brain. While that may actually kill you, you’ll die happy.

The opening sequence of the game made me drop my jaw in amazement and stutter, “Wh-wh-wha…?!” Seriously, the whole thing looks like a magic mushroom snorted clown paint and vomited up happiness. And only THEN do the ducks start singing.

So why do I love this so much? I DARE you to listen to it and not sing along. Just try it.

Favorite Moment #3 – The Fallen Woman

Now for something decidedly less cheerful…

Fatal Frame 2: Crimson Butterfly may well be the greatest horror game I’ve ever played. Okay, I’ve only played three different games in this particular genre, but, still… Holy crap! This game scared me spitless!

Gameplay’s pretty simple – you fight off ghosts with the help of a magic camera. When you take a picture of a ghost, the camera’s exorcismal effect weakens the spirit until it eventually disappears. And, no, I did not make up the word “exorcismal.” I think they use it in the game.

Of all the enemies you face, my personal favorite is “The Fallen Woman.” Yes, I’m well aware of the connotations the phrase “Fallen Woman” carries. I think they’re applicable here: “The Fallen Woman” does appear to be a woman of… looser morality. She crawls around in a crabwalk and attacks you from below. Why, you might ask, is she in such a ridiculous position? Well, after you snap a picture of her, she immediately vanishes. You hear a high pitched scream. If you look up immediately, you see the red-clad hussy plummet from the top of the room and land on the floor with a sickening thud. So she literally IS a “Fallen Woman.” Delicious, delicious double-meaning.

Favorite Moment #4 – Chernabog

If you’ve never heard of Kingdom Hearts, then allow me to introduce you to the reason the phrase “WTF?” was invented. Kingdom Hearts is a role playing game combining the incoherent narratives of Final Fantasy games with beloved Disney icons, including Donald, Goofy, and the man himself, Mickey Mouse. The real surprise is that the game DOESN’T suck ostrich eggs.

I love the game probably a little more than it deserves, actually. Still, I love watching different Disney stories play out with that insane Japanese RPG twist, usually involving giant monsters that have absolutely nothing to do with the source material (Clayton, from Tarzan starts riding around on a giant, invisible lizard). The real treat, for me at least, comes near the end of the game: a surprise boss fight with the devil himself, Chernabog.

Up to this point, we’d had characters from all sorts of Disney films: Peter Pan, The Lion King, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin... heck, even Bambi has a cameo. The demon monster from Fantasia came completely unexpectedly and was undeniably awesome.

Favorite Moment #5 – The Opera

Final Fantasy VI may be my favorite game of all time, period. The storyline is epic, the characters (all 14 of them) distinctive and memorable, and, best of all, the bad guy is an evil clown.

I love any video game that can evoke an emotional response. My personal opinion is that video games have potential to be as viable an artistic medium as movies are. Final Fantasy VI has several such moments – although, for nostalgia’s sake, I’m going to pinpoint the opera scene as my favorite. Celes, a general in the Imperial Army or some such pretentiousness, has to pose as an opera diva and sing a series of arias about smack-dab in the middle of the game.

The emotional response – I laughed the entire way through. Absolutely delightful!

Favorite Moment #6 – Riding through the Fire

The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time is often rightly considered to be one of the greatest video games of all time. I KNEW the game was going to be awesome right from the opening sequence. After traipsing around Fairy Town conversing with the babbling yokels that made up the village, you’re brought before the Deku Tree, an ancient being of wisdom with an enormous tree-moustache. He tells you about Ganondorf, a fierce warrior or demonic sorcerer or some other staple villain of fantasy stories, who rides across the nation on his thoroughbred of sin… Wait, I just started channeling Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.

Anyway, as the tree spins its tale, a short cinematic plays, showing the dark-clad Ganondorf (who’s really a great villain, despite having a horrible name) riding against a dark sky as flames shoot up in the foreground. Now, remember, Ocarina of Time came out for the N64, so this is the first time I’d ever really seen fire rendered so effectively on a console. The game got an emotional response from me, and that emotion was “Woah!”

Favorite Moment #7 – Die, Pikachu!

Here’s another of those concepts that really shouldn’t have worked: Take every popular character from Nintendo’s various franchises and put them together to duke it out. At the time, I was in the middle of an embarrassing preoccupation with Pokémon, so I went in sure that I’d love playing as Pikachu. Turns out I do much better with Samus, the iron-clad space mercenary.

My favorite, FAVORITE moment from this game is a bit of a cheap shot: whenever a character tries to jump across a pit, I immediately jump over them and knock them straight down to their deaths, proving that I am a competitive jackhole.

Favorite Moment #8 – The Pok Stick

If you need further proof that I’m a competitive jackhole, look no further than Battletoads for the NES. When my brothers and I would play this game, we’d immediately race to beat up the long-legged robots found in the first level. After defeating them, you could pick up one of the legs and use it as a weapon. We called this weapon the “pok” stick, after the sound it made when you hit someone with it. Of course, by “you” I mean “me,” and by “someone” I mean my brothers. Good times :-)

Favorite Moment #9 – “Tell Mike to Dip My Letter in Water…”

Yes, here’s ANOTHER concept that just plain shouldn’t work, and yet… Startropics features a young boy on vacation in a chain of tropical islands. He learns his uncle’s been kidnapped by aliens, so he goes off in search of clues, armed only with a yo-yo, which he wields expertly to defeat giant snakes, octopi, fire monsters, ghosts, ancient statues, and a vomit-spewing space-monster. And, man, was this game fun!

By far the most memorable moment involves a chance encounter with the uncle’s lab assistant. He tells the protagonist to find a clue to his uncle’s whereabouts by dipping his letter in water. My brothers and I spent the better part of an hour pressing the A button while standing our character next to the ocean, trying to figure out HOW exactly to dip the letter in water. We then decided that, since we didn’t actually HAVE a letter in our inventory, we somehow missed it, so we reset the game and trekked back through the last level we’d played – an enormous maze inside a whale (fun!). Finally, we figured out that the letter was an actual, physical object enclosed with the game cartridge. Dip the letter in REAL water in the bathroom sink, and you’ll reveal the secret code you can use to track your uncle down (which is “747.” I’ll never forget that).

Favorite Moment #10 – Crystalis

Don’t ask me which moment of this game is my favorite. If you do, I’ll probably sit down and think about it for a little bit without coming to any definite conclusion. Frustrated, I’ll then rise from my chair and pace the room. Maybe I’ll start mumbling to myself. Eventually, I’ll curl up in a ball, suck my thumb, and whimper, “Make it stop! Make it stop!” until my owner finally decides that I’m worthless and has me shipped off to the glue factory.

Wait, since when do horses have thumbs?

The point is that Crystalis was and is by far my favorite game for the original Nintendo. I grew up with this game and loved it. You play as a hero specially engineered to combat the forces of the evil Dragonia Empire, armed with magical swords controlling the four basic fantasy elements. Throughout the game, there’s a sense of urgency and despair, mingled with just a bit of hope that your protagonist provides. While I now recognize that the storytelling is clunky compared to what modern video games are capable of, for the old NES, this game was a masterpiece. Try to tell me any different, and I swear I’ll trample you to death.

Wait, since when am I a horse?