Cooking with Braddy: Jalapeno Burgers

As I was sitting around on Tuesday, bored with myself, I thought that the one thing that I needed to make my life interesting/complete was a hamburger.  Alas, I have recently become most disillusioned with the fast-food burger - bland bits of meat wedged unceremoniously between hunks of pumice stone that were once bread.  So I opted to make a burger on my own, which was awesome.  However, I soon fell into despondency again, for I didn't think I could find a way to make a burger more interesting than just a hunk of meat fried in a pan.

That's when I realized that I am a MAN, and I can put whatever the heck I want in my burger.  So off I went to the store, where I picked up a couple of jalapeno peppers, some garlic, and some pepperjack cheese.  I half-heartedly grabbed a tomato from the produce section, thinking the color would make the burger more interesting.  Then, yet again, I remembered that I am a MAN, and I don't have to eat no stinkin' tomatoes if I don't want to.

So I cut up the peppers, demolished the garlic with my brand-new garlic press, and smashed 'em together into the raw hamburger meat with my bare hands.  Again, because I am a MAN.

Pictured:  Not tomatoes.

Notice my repeated assertions that I am a MAN nowhere indicate that I am a cook, for I left the burgers on the stovetop a bit too long, resulting in a most unfortunate burnt condition.  The jalapenos contributed little to the overall flavor of the dish, for they were sadly casualties of the great burger burning of 2013.  Many tears were shed over their passing - although I imagine the fumes of burnt peppers in the air may have been the true cause of sorrow, rather than the loss of the peppers themselves.

Still, I ate the burgers, burnt peppers and all, because I am a MAN and I can eat anything with enough barbecue sauce drizzled on it.