Dear Fitness Santa,
Happy Fitness Eve! With the magical day soon approaching, when you ride your magic treadmill through the sky and bring everyone the gift of swimsuit season, I thought I would remind you that I've been extra good this year. I know you can see everything in your combination crystal ball, pedometer, and heart meter, but you're a busy man (after all, those benches won't press themselves), and you probably didn't have the time to write down all the ways I've qualified for the "Fit" list. To help you out, I made a list of all the good things I've done this year:
Father Fitness, all I want for Fitness Eve is a body to impress the babes with.
Love, Me
This almost wasn't one of my projects. I just remember feeling really resentful one day while jogging, so I thought I'd write a snarky letter I could just post on my blog. Then I realized, if I made this a "project," not only would I be able to catch up a little quicker, but I'd get to draw Santa Clause exercising. And, really, that's all I ever wanted for Fitness Eve.
Happy Fitness Eve! With the magical day soon approaching, when you ride your magic treadmill through the sky and bring everyone the gift of swimsuit season, I thought I would remind you that I've been extra good this year. I know you can see everything in your combination crystal ball, pedometer, and heart meter, but you're a busy man (after all, those benches won't press themselves), and you probably didn't have the time to write down all the ways I've qualified for the "Fit" list. To help you out, I made a list of all the good things I've done this year:
- I gave up eating unnecessary sweets. A former cookie addict yourself should appreciate the significance of that sacrifice.
- I eat more vegetables. I've put everything green I could find into a smoothie and slurped it down. I could probably photosynthesize my own food by now.
- I get plenty of sleep every night. I go to bed promptly at 9:30, even when my friends are all running around outside wearing togas and party hats.
- I rise early every day to exercise, interrupting many a delightful dream about Scarlett Johansson defending my honor with a lightsaber.
- I jog regularly to improve my cardiovascular health, even after my lungs crawled up through my throat and punched out my teeth from the inside for getting in the way of the all the air I sucked in.
- I've been getting up by pushing pulling, and sitting.
- I'm taking the stairs, taking my vitamins, and - on occasion, I admit - taking the name of The Lord in vain. But I imagine that last point is probably more a consideration for the "other" Santa.
Father Fitness, all I want for Fitness Eve is a body to impress the babes with.
Love, Me
This almost wasn't one of my projects. I just remember feeling really resentful one day while jogging, so I thought I'd write a snarky letter I could just post on my blog. Then I realized, if I made this a "project," not only would I be able to catch up a little quicker, but I'd get to draw Santa Clause exercising. And, really, that's all I ever wanted for Fitness Eve.
1 comment:
Haha!
xox
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