Excel 365 - A Thing Which Deserves Your Attention

Hey, so pay attention to this:

My buddy Darian is trying to get this project up and going, and he's turned to Kickstarter for help.

Kickstarter is a pretty fantastic little application - people with mad ideas can log in and pledge a certain amount of money towards a goal.  If the goal is met, then the funding goes through, and said mad person can go to town, putting together their crazy little experiment for the good of all mankind.  If the funding DOESN'T go through, then no money is charged, and all those backers can rest easy, having wasted nothing.

*ahem* It's 2014.  I'm pretty sure everyone already knows what Kickstarter is.

Anyway, so the project above is a calendar specifically designed for users of Microsoft Excel, a program which has been known to kill folks of a weaker disposition.  The idea is that, each day, the lonely office employee who looks at his or her work calendar, wondering if the weekend has gotten any closer than it was five minutes ago, can take the moment to educate themselves on one of the many obscure yet useful functions Excel has to offer, thus becoming more able to fend for themselves the next time the Excel ravagers come through.

It's a great idea, and one that I'm more than happy to pledge a few bucks to, myself.  If you've got the cash to spare and are interested in funding a worthwhile project (and maybe wouldn't mind snaring one of those spiffy calendars for yourself), you can head over to Kickstarter and check it out.

How Braddy Spends His Time

Happy 900th blog post to me!

Obviously, I'm not devoting too much time to the whole blog thing nowadays, which is kinda funny when you look back at my history and see there was a time when I thought my day was a failure if I didn't post some silly cartoon or snark about the most recent goings on at DC Comics. So, if I've not been blogging, what exactly HAVE I been doing?

I'll be honest - most of it is work or volunteer stuff that probably means nothing to anybody. However, I have been dedicating a bit more time to a creative project I'm super excited for.  I've talked for a while about creating a webcomic, and by gum, I think I'm going to go for it!

If you've seen me on Facebook, you've probably seen some of these pictures before. I'm doing a lot of concept sketches and character designs for a story I've been planning for a few months now.  I'm still in the really early stages, but I've got quite the framework to build off of.

Obviously, I still have a lot of issues to figure out still (mostly on the technical side - making sure the pictures aren't too big for the computer screen, for example). So, yeah, pretty stoked about that!

If you've got any feedback, I'd love to hear it!

Braddy Reads The Butterfly Mosque

Two blog posts within a week... I must be regressing.

Honestly, I haven't been doing much reading lately.  I've actually missed book club for the last couple months, because I haven't had time to read the material.  However, when I saw what our discussion would be about in August, I knew I had to give it a try.

I wish I could say that I knew the name G. Willow Wilson from the articles she'd written about being an American Muslim convert, or from her life in Cairo, Egypt.  I wish that I'd maybe read her other novel, Alif the Unseen.  But, of course, I know the name G. Willow Wilson because she recently started writing a superhero comic for Marvel.  It's not shameful knowledge in and of itself, but I'm starting to sense it's representative of a larger imbalance taking place in my life.

Maybe that's why The Butterfly Mosque was such an important read for me at this point in my life - it's ALL ABOUT finding balance.  At least, it's about seeking for balance.  Sometimes, balance is something you don't find.  Rather, you find surrender - maybe even assimilation.

I'm getting ahead of myself - The Butterfly Mosque is Wilson's memoir about her conversion to Islam and her subsequent relocation to Cairo, how she there met the man who would become her husband, and how she sought to reconcile her Western upbringing with the values of the religion she has so wholeheartedly embraced as well as the culture of her new, adopted home.  She struggles with the idea that there can be no such reconciliation - that the American system within which she was raised is incompatible with Cairene sensibilities.  Yet she, with her husband, manage to create something of a "third culture" within which the two of them can be happy, if not always secure.

I have, like, about a half-million ideas that have been swimming around in my head ever since I started reading this book.  I've spent a lot of time thinking of myself and my relationship to God, especially after Wilson mentions a friend who says "God is the love between you and religion."  I've also thought a lot about how selfish I've been, an idea that's been shaken up ever since reading a discussion Wilson took part in with some classmates ranking the culpability of various individuals involved in a tragic murder by their failure to live up to their social responsibilities.  I've questioned my own biases as I've read of brief, transcendental encounters between Muslims of different schools uniting in prayer.  And I've been thinking... and thinking... and thinking...

I doubt I could really explain everything I've been thinking since I started The Butterfly Mosque.  Now that I've finished it, I can tell you that it's made my shortlist of books that have changed my life upon reading, right up there with East of Eden and My Name is Asher Lev.  And, guys, that's really high praise.

Big Screen Breakdown: Guardians of the Galaxy

Obviously, I've been letting the blog lie fallow for a little while as I've focused on other projects (mainly just watching a lot of cartoons while standing directly in front of my house fan), but I figured getting to see one of the biggest movies of the summer* early was a pretty good reason to break the silence.

I've finally learned something I think the rest of the non-geek population seems to have figured out a long time ago: All of these Marvel movies are pretty much the same. Same plot points, same story rhythm, same overblown finales. The only differences are largely cosmetic. Those differences, however, have a pretty big impact on the overall movie experience. Captain America distinguishes itself with its period-piece aesthetic, while Iron Man shines the spotlight on RDJ's frantic performance, and Thor sets itself apart by sucking.

Now we've got Guardians of the Galaxy, a largely unknown property, gracing the big screen. What the heck are we to make of this new entry into the Marvel cinematic canon?

• None of the Marvel movies have been completely joyless, but Guardians of the Galaxy is the most overtly comic of all the films we've seen thus far. This is both the films greatest strength and weakness.


• This movie is just chock-full of characters who know not to take themselves or their situation seriously. Everyone snarks at the most inappropriate times - and guys, I love me some snark!


• Unfortunately, the humor does not balance well against the darker moments - specifically, Lee Pace as Ronan the Accuser. Ronan is a pretty terrifying presence, and Pace plays him very well. He just feels like he should have been in a different movie.


• This could be the most quotable movie of the summer. It is REALLY DARNED FUNNY, and just about every character from the main cast has their moments.


• Surprisingly, Dave Bautista's Drax, a fiercely literal thinker, gets some really funny moments. And Bautista's not a bad actor, either, so his scenes work better than I'd expected.


• The biggest disappointment in the film is Gamora. Zoe Saldana performs well enough, but after everything we saw from Black Widow in The Winter Soldier and The Avengers, I expected our Smurfette to be a little less... damsel-y, I guess. She doesn't fall victim to the worst of the "strong independent woman" tropes, but her character is largely forgettable.


• Me favorite moment in the film is actually one that we see in the trailers: Chris Pratt getting all freaked out about the guard at the prison confiscating his Walkman. It plays out a lot different than you'd expect.

• Actually, all those fun 70s songs we've heard in the advertisements are used quite effectively in the film. Almost masterfully, I'd say.


• So there's that big climactic moment, where countless lives are in danger as destruction rains down from the sky (not a spoiler - in a Marvel movie, it's a given). I was prepared to get all uncomfortable with how many people were dying, when *SWOOSH* - in comes Rocket Raccoon to save the day. That's EXACTLY what superhero movies should do.


• Rocket Raccoon, a misanthropic, trigger-happy mercenary, saves more people in this movie than Superman did in Man of Steel. Something is wrong with the universe.

• If nothing else, this is the movie where Glenn Close (?!) gets in a discussion with John C. Reilly about what percentage of a $@&# Chris Pine is. That example alone should be enough to tell you whether you should see this movie or not.

• Verdict: I am Groot!

*citation needed.

Why I'm Still Single 56

Cooking with Braddy (and Rarity, I Guess): Black Bean Burritos

Look, it was either leave them in the picture or clean off my kitchen table, and ain't nobody got time for that!

I'll admit it - I've long disparaged the idea of the "dump and run" dinner, consisting mostly of opening various cans and jars of stuff and throwing it all together into a bowl before putting you face in it. Last night, though, I broke out another recipe from my mom's old Desperation Dinners book and learned just why the "dump and run" dinner is so delightful:

It's FAST.

The most time-consuming part of the preparation was cutting the onion and grating the cheese. As a whole, it took maybe twenty minutes to get dinner on the table. Which, you know, is good, cuz I didn't get to eat until after nine o'clock.

This is a recipe which will call for some fiddling. The core is good and simple - beans, cheese and tortillas are kinda hard to screw up - but the flavor's really missing something. I'll need to add something spicier. Maybe just "hot" salsa.

What Do New Friends Do?

They don't have much in common, do they?

Taller and Taller

So my plants aren't dead yet:

In fact, they seem to be doing pretty okay. I've noticed they've started curving off in the direction of the window, getting as much of that morning sun as they can. I worry - are they getting enough sun? Am I a negligent daddy.

No new work on the garden wall this week, but I did get some pruning done on my apple tree. Also started spraying it with those weird... spray... thingies you're told to use.

Above: artist's approximation of a dude with a sprayer thingie.

The pruning itself is kind of difficult. I don't think anyone's ever really cared for this tree, and so there are just branches and branches and branches. The bark's pretty flaky, almost papery, in some places. Oh, yeah, and my tree's got some really weird fruit growing in it.

I'll keep at it, but I expect that the tree might need some long-term caring before it stops looking like it's been horribly abused by some Captain Planet villain.

Wherever You Go

I'm glad we're together... But you pick the strangest vacation spots...

Inch by Inch

Well, I guess it's about time I picked up a new hobby. How's gardening sound?

Actually, that sounds like a terrible idea.  I'm really not that great with plants. See, I got this nifty little flower pot as a housewarming gift.

The reason the pot is empty is because the houseplant that came in it died.

I'm not sure how it happened, exactly. I woke up one morning, and the leaves had gone brown and limp. I watched it carefully, watered it, wrapped it up in a blanket, and fed it with chicken soup. Poor thing never recovered.

So I thought I'd try again.  I lined the bottom of the flower pot with rocks to better facilitate drainage... or something. I'll admit, I'm not too clear on how this all works yet.  But I have to say, it looks like it's working so far:

Those little green things weren't there last week!

Oh, and then there's this thingies I've been working on:

I bought a bunch of these rough-looking paving stones from Lowes to build a little planter bed in my back yard. It's really little, but that's the point. If I'm going to try to grow a bunch of living little things, I'd like to limit my liability when they all die horrible, malnurished deaths.

I'm not quite done with the little garden wall yet. I've got two course of stones laid down and glued together with Elmer's, but I'll need to build it up at leastne more level, I think.

One more trip to the hardware store!

Too Timid for Tindr

So I've been thinking about online dating recently.  I don't just mean in theory, although I do consistently wonder why people would choose to limit their interactions to a string of text, devoid of all other social cues like tone of voice and body language.  Actually, I have to say that the older I get, the more that sort of separation actually sounds kind of appealing.

A bit of context, perhaps.  The other day, I ran into a friend on the bus.  Well, I say "friend" - she was actually a former romantic interest.  We talked a few times, went out once, and that's... that's about where the association ended.  I think I was pretty into her, but I guess I didn't feel she was too interested in me.  Anyway, we fell in to talking - she told me about her life, I told her about mine.  She seemed interested that I'd recently purchased a house and asked if I had a roommate.  I told her no.  I have the option of renting a room out, but I like to be alone.

Her response?  "Yes, you do, don't you?"

Of course, as I am wont to do, I've spent the few days since then wondering, "Well, what did she MEAN?"  My cousin, often funny and insightful, said that was the sound of dodging a bullet, but I got sort of a different impression from the exchange.  I mean, I was there:  she got this kind of sad look in her eyes, and her voice was sort of... I dunno, compassionate or something.  Emotions are still a weird thing for me, you guys.

I came away thinking that she really understood that I don't really like being around people.  Heck, I think that was a topic of a few of our conversations two or three years ago.  There was no condemnation there, but rather an acknowledgement that I like to keep myself apart.

I dunno, maybe that's why our relationship never really moved on past a casual friendship.  Or maybe I just thought that was the reason.  Either way, there was some truth to it - I'm a solitary person.  I'd call myself an introvert, but that to me sounds like a ^&%$in' copout.

So, heck, what better way for a guy like me to meet people than to use an electronic medium that would keep me from actually having to meet meet them?

So that leads me to online dating.  I've thought about trying it out.  I've got a few friends who have found some moderate success by using Match.com or even (shudder) LDS Planet.  Most recently, I've had some people recommend the app Tindr, which I guess is sort of an evolution from "Hot or Not."  You flip through the profiles of people in your area, look at their pictures, read their profiles, and decide whether or not you'd be interested in getting to know them better.  Meanwhile, they're all doing the same thing, and if the app recognizes that two people have expressed interest in each other, it lets them know so that they can start up an online conversation.  They flirt, or tweet, or sext, or whatever the heck those crazy kids are doing these days.

But that route would lead to all sorts of maddening questions.  Mainly, what the HECK would I put into an online dating profile?  

"Is mostly not bald"?  

"Makes good money, but is dead inside"?

"REALLY likes cartoons zomg!"?

Plus, I'm a little leary of dating sites that focus making judgments based on photographs.  Yeah, it's a bit shallow to judge people based solely on their looks,but I'm really more concerned about limiting my exposure to pictures of man bits.  And I hear dating sites are FULL of man-bit pics.

...or am I just looking into the wrong sites?

La-la-lapocalypse!

Anybody else feel like whistling? I sure do!

The Witch Queen

Any resemblance to trademarked characters from prominent animated properties is purely coincidental. Please don't sue me, Disney!

BONUS SKETCH:

Just an experiment. 

Catching Up with the Classics: Safety Last

Wheeeeeee!

I don't know that I've ever seen comedies quite as engaging as silent comedies.  There's a cartoonishness to the slapstick that I've only ever seen elsewhere in the Looniest of Tunes, and the actors' ability to express their emotions with their faces is truly impressive.  It's almost gotten to the point where I get disappointed every time a tile card comes up, because I find I don't really care what the actors are actually saying.

Of the trinity of silent film comedy gods - including Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin, of course - Harold Lloyd is the one I've known the least about.  I caught one of his pictures at Salt Lake's Organ Loft some time ago, but, beyond that, I had no experience with him.  I had, however, heard of the clock scene from Safety Last, so I decided to pick the movie up the last time Barnes and Noble had a sale on their Criterion Collection DVDs.

Now that I've finally seen it, I've gotta say... Harold Lloyd was REALLY DARNED GOOD!  His grasp of physical comedy and spectacular stuntwork is surprisingly sophisticated.  His face is just so darned expressive, and those glasses he wears are simply iconic.

Of course, the film really grabs you at the climax, when he scales a twelve-story building without any sort of safety harness.  Now, APPARENTLY he actually did have a stunt double, and APPARENTLY he is climbing a fake wall built atop a skyscraper, so he's not REALLY in as much peril as he appears, but the danger Lloyd is in as he performs these stunts is still palpable.  It's a revolutionary film from the perspective of stunt work and spectacle, and it's still incredibly entertaining today.

Pepin and the Tower

Just a picture from a short story I've written (and rewritten) a couple of times.  I think the cloud turned out well, but the rest of the picture I'm not so sure on.

BONUS COLOR UPDATE:

Braddy Reads Crossing to Safety

I've found that, for most of the books I read as part of my book club, I walk away with the same impression of the book:  "The writing was good, BUT..."  Now, whatever follows that big "but" can vary.  "BUT I thought the characters were unlikeable."  "BUT I found the plot derivative."  "BUT I got too caught up watching TaleSpin on DVD to actually finish the book."  If I'm being honest with myself, though, I find that all my big "buts" are actually deflections, ways of coping with the fact that I just don't fully understand what I've read.

My opinion of the books I read for book club usually goes up after discussion.

Speaking of things I don't understand, Wallace Stegner wrote this book called Crossing to Safety, the story of a pair of married couples and their friendships and hardships during the years of the Great Depression.  One couple - made up of the story's narrator and his wife - come from a poor background, and they struggle finding financial security.  The other couple, Sid and Charity Lang, are wealthy beyond most people's imaginations.  Together, they form a friendship that lasts longer than I've even been alive.

I've got nothing in common with these people, except for perhaps an irrelevant love of literature.  I can't relate to any of the experiences described in the book:  there's no recounting of their courtship, except for a speculative bit on the Langs' past which sounds like something out of Pride and Prejudice.  The couples' experience during the Depression doesn't resemble any of the financial hardships I've ever endured - thanks to the Langs' affluence, neither couple really feels the pinch of their circumstances.  Even the marital strife that permeates their relationships doesn't really feel that much like the spats I've had in my few romantic encounters.

There's more I could talk about - brushes with illness, the fear of suffering, the struggle to age gracefully - but, again, these aren't really areas I've had much experience with, and very few of these issues are dealt with personally.  In fact, even though the whole story is supposedly told from the perspective of Larry Morgan, we get very little idea of how all of these experiences affect him.  Rather than dwelling on his response to trial, he chooses instead to speculate on how their trials impact the Langs.

Actually, now that I think about it, that sort of voyeurism is something I really can relate to.

I've been somewhat fascinated with the idea of telling more "slice of life" stories - stories without obvious antagonists or terribly dramatic conflicts.  Very few people actually have experiences that fit into that sort of three-act structure; rather, our lives lead us from one crisis to the next, usually without the satisfaction of denouemont.  In that regard, I'd say Crossing to Safety is massively successful, and satisfying.

Oh, and the writing's good.  I look forward to the book club's discussion.

Umm... Ungh... ONE!

This is exactly how I look when I do a pull-up... except for the onlooker who's all concerned.

No, MY onlookers guffaw. Like, loudly.

Cooking with Braddy: Spinach Artichoke Chicken

You know, if I'm going to keep doing this, maybe I should start taking some food photography classes, cuz my pics usually wind up looking kinda disgusting.

I haven't been cooking much recently, which, I think, has been a mistake.  I've been in kind of a sour mood altogether, due to probably a dozen different factors I don't think I could track down without a spreadsheet.  The act of creation, though, always manages to make me feel better, and cooking is one of the best creative acts I can manage at this point.

Found another recipe on Pinterest a couple of months ago that I really wanted to try.  I've never gotten anything with artichoke hearts outside of a restaurant, and I thought it'd be fun to try at home.  For once, I actually halved the recipe (the original serves 8), so I wound up with a manageable amount of food for leftovers.

The real draw for this dish is, of course, the sauce - cheese, spinach, and artichoke hearts.  It's... it's not bad, but it feels very fragmented, like the different flavors (all delicious) aren't really blended quite right.  I have some sort of resistance to using frozen spinach in my cooking.  I wonder if the added moisture from the frozen spinach would have helped...

Eh, I'm nitpicking.  The recipe was a success, and the chicken's really good.  Plus, artichokes.  Artichokes are delicious.

Big Screen Breakdown: Captain America: The Winter Soldier

These superhero movies are starting to make me antsy, especially the sequels. While Mrvel's films have been consistently pretty good, the number twos in their recent franchises have either been forgettable (Iron Man 2) or just plain bad (Thor: The Dark World). And now, we've got Captain America: The Winter of Our Discontent, an adaptation of what's probably the best CA story since the star-spangled Avenger punched out Hitler. I was super excited, but I worried that the new movie would fall into the same traps as the earlier sequels. Fortunately, that was NOT the case.

• I hope people not as steeped in comic book history can enjoy these movies as much as I do. While it would definitely help to see the first Captain America movie, I doubt it's essential.


• Tonally, this movie's QUITE different from Captain America Número Uno. While the first movie is strongly reminiscent of one of my all-time favorite superhero films, The Rocketeer, The Winter Soldier is far more similar to something like The Bourne Identity. By the way, this is a good thing.


• I know Captain America's the guy whose name is in the title, but The Winter Soldier is almost just as much about Nick Fury and the Black Widow. It's probably the best performance I've ever seen from Sam Jackson, and Scarlett Johansson is just as good as she was in The Avengers.


• The Winter Soldier himself is just as compelling as any villain Marvel's released in the theaters to date. Maybe more so. He's got a personal connection to the hero that makes their final punch out far more than a spectacle. There are deeply intimate stakes beyond just "the world go KABOOM!"


• Can... can Anthony Mackie's Falcon get his own movie? I like that guy!


• Why is Robert Redford in this movie? I mean, he's REALLY GOOD... but he's also Robert Redford. Seems like a strange pick for a superhero film.


• Proof that more characters aren't necessarily bad: I count nine different named characters from the comics. I think fans of Batroc the Leaper might be disappointed, but otherwise, everyone gets just enough screen time and development to make their presence in the movie worthwhile.

• Did I say nine? I meant ten.


• Maybe I'm just getting sensitive in my old age, but the violence in this movie really made me cringe. People die, and since most of the fight sequences are between unarmed characters, the deaths are really personal and sometimes very disturbing. The movie earns its PG-13 rating, folks.


• Best line in the movie: "I do what he does, only slower." I could explain why I love the line so much, but we'd be here all day.


• Verdict: Amurca! AMURRRRRRCA!!!!!

The Host

Dude, I kinda want wings.  Of course, it'd be tough to go through doors...

Just another doodle I put together in a few dull meetings. Oh, and here's another one:

And then here are some more that I pulled over from other sketches and added some detail to digitally.

It's been a while since I posted anything, okay?!