I'm a Dork, and That's Okay

Sundays are supposed to be a day of rest. For many, that means studying scripture, spending time with family, attending church… well, I did all that this past Sunday, as well as indulged in several hours of gratuitous Doctor Who watching. And I must say that the episode where the Doctor teams up with William Shakespeare to battle witches may now rank on my list of “The Coolest Things in the World” between Jim Halpert asking Pam on a date and Ben and Jerry’s cinnamon buns ice cream. Seriously, if Batman had showed, I might have died of joy.

As much as I enjoyed my evening in the “Who-niverse,” it got me thinking about how many incredibly DORKY habits I have. Even though I claim not to be fanatical about any of them… oh, who am I kidding? I just said “Who-niverse,” for crying out loud.

Now, I say “dorky,” and I mean “dorky,” not “nerdy” or “geeky.” See, a “nerd” is someone completely given over to academics – specifically math and science. “Geeks,” on the other hand, tend to obsess over a single subject, usually something along the lines of Star Trek or comic books. I have a brother who claims to be a “sports” geek, obsessing over stats and team-lineups.

“Nerds” are starting to gain a bit of respect from the mainstream. At least, they tend to find success in their obsessions. As for “geeks,” they may not find quite the fame that nerds tend to, but even their little hobbies get a bit of decent press – mostly favorable. Both “nerds” and “geeks” tend to take at least a little pride in their labels. Nobody wants to be called a “dork.”

So when I say I’m a dork and have a lot of little dorky-quirks, I refer to a lot of different hobbies and interests – some nerdy, some geeky, all a bit socially maligned. Here are probably the dorkiest – and what I find so intriguing about each. We’ll start with one I’ve already mentioned:

Doctor Who

Why it’s dorky – Let’s look at the premise of the show Doctor Who, shall we? An alien from a planet of time travelers explores the history of Earth with various companions – both human and extra-terrestrial. He does battle with alien overlords, hostile invaders, would-be gods and the rest of the stereotypical sci-fi villains. Doctor Who ranks right up there with Star Trek and Star Wars among the holy trinity of science fiction franchises. It even has a cult following similar to the Trekkies and Jedi Knights – or whatever Star Wars freaks call themselves.

Why that’s okay – Doctor Who is one of those rare victories of substance over style. The show started with a threadbare budget. Case in point: the Doctor’s arch-enemies – an alien race known as the Daleks – were first crafted from upside-down garbage cans mounted on tricycles, armed with kitchen whisks and toilet plungers. Yet when England first saw the Daleks, they dived behind their couch cushions, too scared to watch, too captivated to leave. For the most part – and I’ll admit it’s sometimes hit-and-miss – Doctor Who represents the kind of storytelling I’ve always respected: emotional, engaging, witty, character-driven… not to mention funny (which is always a plus).

Batman

Why it’s dorky – Seriously, a comic book. You know who reads comic books? That guy from the Simpsons. Oh, and President Obama, who’s allegedly a Superman fan. But we won’t hold that against him – his suits are too nice.

Why that’s okay – At its heart, a good Batman story is a good detective story, a psychological thriller. When Batman features in a story, he does more than kick out teeth – although he does plenty of that, too. A Batman story focuses on the psychology of his enemies. The Joker’s mania, Two-Face’s sense of justice, the Scarecrow’s obsession with fear – each represents a primal human emotion, and thus affects the reader personally. The easy example is Christopher Nolan’s The Dark Knight – a deeply troubling examination of man’s evil nature against a backdrop that just so happens to contain superheroes. I could go on about my favorite Batman stories, but then I’d be fawning a bit, I think.

Poetry

Why it’s dorky – Ever seen a poet? They’re pretty freaky-looking: wild, unkempt hair (if they have any), bulbous noses, red from years of acne, droopy eyes – like they’re tired of comparing eggs to starlight, or whatever. As for young poets… well, there’s a character from Stephen King’s The Stand (and if that’s not a dork reference, I don’t know what is) who constantly writes love poetry to some red-headed girl (I swear it’s that chick from The Breakfast Club) who’s… well, just not that into him. So, yeah, poets are nerds that never get the social redemption of having an important job – or a girlfriend.

(By the way, I have to say that I just got about halfway through an episode of Doctor Who that I’m told is one of the best ever, only to have the stupid library disc crap out on me. I’m ticked!)

Why that’s okay – I think I’ve gone over this subject to some extent before, but I’ll hit on why I think poetry’s a big deal here in a few bullet points:

1 - Poetry, like all art, both shapes and defines generations (re: T.S. Eliot’s “The Wasteland” or Alan Ginsberg’s “Howl”).
2 - Poetry evokes powerful emotion – including love. People wouldn’t write love poetry if it didn’t work sometimes.
3 - Poetry challenges the system, encourages thought – and even if it doesn’t change the world, that’s a victory on some level. Look to “Howl” again for an example, or the poetry of Wilfred Owen, Langston Hughes… countless others.
4 - Poetry entertains. Not everyone has a thing for it, but a lot of people enjoy a good Shel Silverstein verse every now and again.
5 - Poetry adds an extra fifty pages of material to The Lord of the Rings that nobody actually reads.

Okay, other than that last one, they’re all valid points.

Silent/Black and White Films

Why it’s dorky – Ever been to a party, only to have the host pull out some Bing Crosby for everyone to dance to? Same with old black-and-white pictures. Sure, they were cutting-edge at the time they came out, but now they’re too old-fashioned. Anyone who likes them must be a square, right?

Why it’s okay – Yeah, they’re probably square-ish. Still, most silent films age remarkably well. I’ll tell you this: Buster Keaton’s The Cameraman is definitely funnier than anything I’ve ever seen with Will Farrell. It’s difficult to tell a story without dialogue, but not impossible. When you watch a silent film CORRECTLY – with the appropriate organ music backing it up – you learn to appreciate the importance of body language in human communication. Besides, some of the best of these old films – like Charlie Chaplin’s Modern Times – still do an able job of pointing out flaws in our current society. We haven’t changed THAT much.

Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog

Why it’s dorky – First strike: it’s another superhero story. Technically, yes, it’s the story of the villain, but it’s still all… comic-y. Second strike: it’s in the form of a video blog – the “morning glory” of YouTube. Third strike: it’s by Joss Whedon, the father of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Firefly, two bottomless sources of nerd-fodder. And fourth strike (I was never very good at baseball): it’s a musical. *shudder*

Why that’s okay – Dr. Horrible turns the superhero genre on its ear just a bit by asking the viewer to sympathize with the villain. And you do: Dr. Horrible is a shy, nervous young man, yet a bit charming in that way shy young men are in movies. Meanwhile, his antagonist, Captain Hammer is self-righteous, narcissistic, condescending, and a bit of an idiot. Dr. Horrible’s goals are a bit misguided, yet we understand his motivation. He wants to change the world for the better. Captain Hammer (and mind you – he’s the hero) saves the day mainly for the prestige it brings him. And then the two fight over – what else? – a girl. By the end, you’re cheering for the super villain – you want Dr. Horrible to win. Yet, at the same time, he IS evil, and goes to horrible (can’t believe I just did that) lengths to achieve his ends. When you cut away the drama, you see Dr. Horrible is nothing more than a thief, a murderer… an extremist. What the villain does is wrong – there’s no way around it – but you start to see through his eyes, start to understand WHY he does what he does. A little compassion for those deemed to be “the enemy” could do the world a lot of good these days.

The Powerpuff Girls

Why it’s dorky – Again, superheroes. Drawn in a style heavily influenced by anime. About three little girls. Who fight a monkey super-genius.

And I’m twenty-four years old.

Why that’s okay – As a freshman in college, I wrote a paper arguing the social and cultural relevance of contemporary cartoons like The Powerpuff Girls. I’m going to come clean here and say I was completely full of crap. It’s a cartoon – there’s not really some agenda behind the series that’ll improve the human race. It’s not really art – although I will say it pushes the boundaries a bit when it comes to what you can and can’t do in a “kid’s show.” It’s just fun, and, really, what’s wrong with a little fun now and then?

Now, we’re on to the biggest question of all:

WHY SHOULD YOU CARE ABOUT ANY OF THIS?

And the answer: you shouldn’t.

I think I’ve mentioned this before, but a person isn’t defined by their tastes and interests. My interest in Doctor Who doesn’t make me a drooling, acne-ridden fan-boy (although the acne and drooling certainly don’t help that image). You may never understand why I like comic books or literature more than sports and dancing. By the same token, I’ll never understand why you like Better Off Dead so much, or Leona Lewis’s “Bleeding Love,” or… I dunno, football. But we can still be friends, right?

No, didn’t think so. Come back after you can admit that Better Off Dead is a stupid, stupid movie. Then we can get to making those boondoggle key chains.

P.S.: Happy Birthday, Dad!