Big Screen Breakdown: Now You See Me

I did NOT anticipate this film. At all. I hadn't even heard of it until I saw a few ads for it on Facebook, and I did with them what I normally do with Facebook ads (ie. ignored them). Then I caught a trailer for the film and realized who was in the cast. Morgan Freeman. Michael Caine. Mark Ruffalo. Woody Harrelson.

Oh, and that nerdy guy from The Social Network.

Once I saw the cast, I knew I had to see the movie. And now I've had my chance.

• So the pitch for the movie probably went something like this: "It's Ocean's 11 meets The Fugitive and The Prestige." And that's really what you get here: one part heist movie, one part cops-and-robbers game with a magical twist. Four street magicians pull off some ostentatious heists in full view of the public, and the FBI run around like mad trying to stop them.
• Honestly, I'm surprised that there aren't MORE movies about magicians out there. Even setting aside the fact that the style, flash, and performative aspects of cinema make it really easy to slip in a lot of misdirection, you've also got the medium's origins. One of the fathers of modern filmmaking, Georges Méliès, was a freakin' stage magician himself.
• This is a large, all-star cast, and, to be fair, everyone gets a turn in the spotlight. I think Michael Caine is the only actor from the bunch I'd hoped to see more of.
• I gave him crap earlier, but Eisenberg displays some real swagger here. He comes off as sort of the ringleader of the band of thieving magicians, and, for the limited time he's on the screen, he does well.
• Those moments when Woody Harrelson gets to be Woody Harrelson are pure gold.
• Morgan Freeman is never NOT good, and he comes across here as definitely sinister. It's a fine turn, Mr. Freeman.
• I hoped to see some good range from Mark Ruffalo, who plays the leader of the FBI task force. He gets led around by the nose a LOT. It's a little like watching a big ol' hound dog get whipped with a belt - painful and really, really depressing. But his character's not supposed to be a big gallavanting hero. He's an interesting character to have carry a summer blockbuster, and not a bad choice.
• The women in the cast are given little to do. Isla Fisher is little more than eye candy. Interpol agent Mélanie Laurent comes off a little better, but not much.
• This is a fun, flashy movie, with a lot of action going on at any given moment. The camera has a hard time sitting still, but the energy the rapidly-switching shots bring to the story is delightful.
• Not every movie needs a romantic subplot. Seriously, THOSE two hook up at the end? Why?
• When all the secrets are revealed, when all the cards are finally on the table, I wonder if there's anything left for the movie to offer. It's a fun story, sure, but I don't know that there's anything in the plot to merit multiple viewings. While it's true the characters each get a moment to shine, none of them really grow from the experience. It's a good story, but character is not the focus, and without depth of character, the experience may come off as a little hollow.
• But, truthfully, I'm nitpicking. There are movies that bore me, and then there are movies that make me laugh out loud for how much fun I'm having. Now You See Me definitely falls in the latter category.
• Verdict: Good summer fun. Worth it.

Moon Dancer

Trained professional. Dancing without a dance floor may lead to twisted ankles and/or death by falling.

I took a little time over the weekend and browsed through some of my old drawings. I realized I kinda missed drawing just whatever the heck I wanted rather than having to think about what I was writing at the time. So I broke out my pens and whipped this picture up. Just for fun.

Oddly, the inspiration for this image came from a friend of mine who posted some pictures of clothes she tried on at the Bettie Page store. She was just excited to have found some clothes that fit her figure comfortably. After reading about her experience, I just thought I'd try my hand at drawing an attractive "plus size" character. I think I did okay.

EDIT: Thank goodness for friends who try to help keep my feet out of my mouth.

I guess I didn't really sum up my thoughts all that well. Women's body shapes and sizes have been on my mind a lot recently, and so seeing someone with a non-Abercrombie-and-Fitch body shape find such fashionable apparel made me think I should try to illustrate a similar situation. I did NOT mean to call any of my female friends fat. Heaven forbid.

Braddy Reads The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry

Man, it's been nearly six weeks since I last finished a book. I just don't read as much as I used to since I stopped taking the bus to work all the time. I've also still been working my way very, very slowly through Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children, which is a book that a person could probably spend years reading. So I'm thankful to my book club for providing me with this selection, which gave me something of a break.

Rachel Joyce's The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry was not quite the book I expected it to be. Harold Fry is an elderly man who learns that a good friend of his is dying of cancer. He writes a note to wish his friend goodbye; however, when he steps out to mail the note, he walks right past the mailbox and decides, on a whim, to walk all the way from his southern England home to Berwick-upon-Tweed to say goodbye in person. Along the way, he reminisces on his failures in life - everything from his job to his marriage to his parenting. He's a sorry, aging figure driven on by the hope that, somehow by making this walk to thank an old friend for a favor she had done for him long ago, he can set everything right again.

The book frustrates me. At times, it's so predictable as to be banal. At times, there are these bits of shoehorned editorial that completely take one out of the experience of reading. But then, at the best of times, there's this sublime moment when a side character who makes little more than a cameo in Harold's story leaves such an impression that you remember them the entire way through the story.

Throughout his walk, Harold starts to accumulate stories from individuals who have fully-realized lives, yet they leave only a bit of who they are with him. These encounters are funny, touching, sometimes disturbing, and universally fleeting, yet there's a great profound poetry to them. These little moments are what make the book worth reading.

And, I'll admit it, the ending, when Harold finally reaches his destination, plays out exactly the way it needs to and in a way I did NOT see coming.

The Unlikely Pilgrimage of Harold Fry isn't a perfect story, nor is it completely unique (of all things, it often reminded me of the movie Forrest Gump). The pilgrimage, though, is one worth taking. If you're in need of a good summer book, I'd recommend this one.

Cooking with Braddy: Macaroni and Cheese

Mac and cheese... mac and cheese... It's a simple dish, and a long-time favorite. Ever since I discovered that the traditional blue box, storebought fare could really be jazzed up with a splash of Tabasco sauce, I've considered mac and cheese to be the pinnacle of comfort foods, up there with milk and cookies and homemade bread. Yet I've never before attempted the casserole version of the dish, perhaps remembering back to the few opportunities I had to taste the stuff during my childhood and thinking how bland it always tasted next to what I considered to be the supreme version of the dish.

Well, given the opportunity to take a peak at my mother's cookbookshelf for a tome to borrow, I walked away with the first collection of Alton Brown's Good Eats recipes, and the first thing I've attempted here is the standard casserole of the ages. Now that I've learned to appreciate subtler flavors over the more intensed, processed fare I had grown accustomed to, I thought I'd have a more favorable reaction to the dish.

Sure enough, I did. I found Alton Brown's recipe easy to follow, and it clearly directed me on how to make the sause most efficiantly. I... I don't do well with sauces. It's difficult for me to talk about, but the first time I attempted a cheesy sauce, it... Well, it...

Let's just move on.

Now, what's not to love here? A simples, strong cheesy base, some good solid macaroni noodles, and a topping of bread crumbs to add variety to the texture. It's a bit time consuming, sure, and I'll admit the dish lacks the nostalgia punch of the old blue box standby, but, for all the effort, the final product is much more rewarding.

And by that, I mean I had more than enough leftovers to get me through Memorial Day weekend.

The Runner Singularity

Years ago, I spent two years in the Czech Republic on a mission for the LDS church. I spent the last months of that mission in a city called Zlin, which was a rather green city dotted with blocky red houses that rested between two hills. It was a beautiful place, one I grew quite fond of, and serves almost no purpose in what I'm about to share, except as the setting for a vignette which inspires these thoughts.

During the months of service in Zlin, I would often get together with the other missionaries and a few local youth to play soccer. I was always impressed by a particular elder and his ability to run ceaselessly - he never seemed to get tired. Before his mission, he'd been a track star. I asked him about it once, and he just kinda shrugged my question off - telling me that he got into these moods when he ran, and he could just run forever.

Now that I've taken up semi-regular exercise, I've wondered if I'd ever get to feel that way while running. And, sometimes, as I jog my laps around the church house, I think I'm starting to approach that moment when I could just. Keep. Running.

It's a remarkable feeling: My lungs clear out, my legs fill with strength, and my vision clears. It's like... like I've somehow transcended my body - like my spirit is suddenly existing on another plane. There, at the end of my vision, I see... something that transcends my ability to describe. My God - it's full of stars!

Then, of course, the little gnomes that live in my calves break out the pickaxes and get to work on my shins. The pain snaps me back to reality (Op! There goes gravity), and I have to pull over for a rest.

Some day, I'll get back there. But, before then, I'll probably have to get new shoes to help with the shin splints.

Partakers of the Divine Nature: A Selfless Religion

A thought occurred to me the other day: I spend a lot of time on here talking about things that really bring me a lot of happiness, but they're mostly things like movies and TV shows. And I really think those things are great: given the right level of engagement from the viewer, a person can learn a lot of really good things from entertainment. That said, I don't spend as much time talking about my faith. Well, not to get too preachy or proselytizy, but I've had a few thoughts on my mind recently that I'd like to share.

"Recent" might be the wrong word. I've been thinking about the subject I'm writing here for months. I gave an address in church a little while back, using the text of 2 Peter Chapter 1 as the foundation of my address. Starting in verse 5, it reads:

Add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; and to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ.

What struck me the most about this passage (at least, at the time that I gave my address) was the way the development of these virtues seemed to progress from "selfish" to "selfless."

Let me explain: The list of attributes starts with "faith," or a personal connection to God. From there, it goes through "virtue" (which is a standard of personal behavior), "knowledge" (the accumulation of knowledge within an individual), and "temperance" (a sense of moderation and restraint). All of these attributes focus on a single person - the self. A person could theoretically develop all of these traits without ever venturing out from his or her house. A cynic would probably say it is easier to do so.

However, we live in a world which requires us to interact with others, and so the apostle Peter continues to show how we can develop virtues which help us to deal with others. So he admonishes us to "patience," which helps us to bear with shortcomings both within ourselves and others.

And, from there, we move to "godliness" (or we might also say "piety" or "reverence"). "Godliness" is a virtue easy to feign. If we are now discussing virtues that look beyond ourselves, then "godliness" must be more than a facade we adopt to satisfy our desire to appear to be "good people." "Godliness" thus must involve a true acknowledgement that there is one higher than us.

And then, to godliness, we add "brotherly kindness" and "charity," defined in the scriptures as the "pure love of Christ." Charity is the ultimate "selfless" virtue - it can't be built just by professing it. After all, Christ did not simply profess his love. He demonstrated it.

Christ performed many miracles which seem beyond the scope of our ability. We may not feel we can heal lepers, or cure blindness, or feed thousands with a few scraps of food. But we can easily emulate the kind deeds those miracles represent, like caring for the sick and afflicted, lifting up the broken-hearted, and comforting those who stand in need of comfort. We do more to develop Christlike attributes by doing good for others than we could ever do by reading about them over and over.

Sometimes, when I talk about my religion - and here I speak solely of myself rather than others who share my faith - I lose sight of the social implications, especially since I'm not really much for... people. I believe that mine is a religion which invites us all to live in the world and do good to others, not out of a desire for recognition or praise, but out of a true, abiding love for our fellow men and for Christ. The Savior loved the world enough to die for it. We should live our lives in such a way that we make this world which Christ loved better.

Best Songs From My Little Pony (Shut Up)

A week or two ago, I met up with my friends from the book club for dinner just before heading off to watch The Great Gatsby. Over dinner, I fended off accusations of being a "brony." See, as obsessed enthusiastic as I get about the things I like, I tend to prefer not to self-identify by my passions. Thus I vehemently denied being anything more than a casual fan of the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

And then I go and do something like this. Mixed signals, I guess.

It is with only a teensy bit of shame that I admit how much I enjoy the music of MLP. A lot of it is frilly and saccharine, but... heck, that's actually part of the appeal of the show. Every now and again, the writers put a lot of effort into creating a real breakout musical moment. So now, while I'm waiting for my Season 2 DVDs to arrive in the mail, I'mma count down my 10 favorite songs from the series.

Yeeeeaaahh... Here we go:


10 - This Day Aria

As much as I'm one to assert that MLP is totally a show for dudes and all their manly pectorals, I have a hard time defending that position with all the whirly girly plots that drive most of the action. Case in point: The Season 2 finale is all about *squee* a wedding.

Of course, it is a wedding involving an evil doppelgänger, who kidnaps the real bride and then sings a song about how eeeeeeevil she is. It's a plot straight out of a comic book, and the song's not bad, either.


9 - At the Gala

Oh yeah, and the Season 1 finale is all about a going to a BALL! Somebody call Betty Friedan!

Musically, this song takes more than a few pages from Stephen Sondheim and Into the Woods. And, really, if your foundation is Sondheim, you're probably going to end up in a pretty good place. Admittedly, you could probably get the same level of satisfaction from listening to "Ever After" instead, but adding cartoon ponies doesn't really hurt the source material.


8 - The Smile Song

Pretty pony Pinkie Pie is the resident cloudcuckoolander of the cast. In small doses, she's entertaining. Whenever she's the center of attention, though, she gets pretty grating. That said, the song where she confesses just how much she loves to watch other people smile is pretty endearing... even though the lyrics kinda imply that Pinkie just isn't capable of coping with sadness. In that light, they're kinda disturbing. Still a fun song, though.


7 - Becoming Popular (The Pony Everypony Should Know)

Okay, I don't know who does the singing voice for the pony Rarity (actually, I do, though that information doesn't really mean much to me), but I freaking LOVE HER. Anytime Rarity gets a chance to sing, that episode immediately shoots to the top of my favorites list. The character Rarity is vain, selfish, and a bit of a jerk... but that voice! Pretty sweet.


6 - Winter Wrap Up

The song "Winter Wrap Up" hits pretty early in Season 1. Up to this point, most of the songs have been goofy, fourth-wall-breaking moments from Pinkie Pie. "Winter Wrap Up" cements MLP as a pretty purple girly show that is also occasionally a musical. And musicals are awesome.

For their first real musical production, the MLP crew does well. The melody sticks in your head, and it manages to cheer me up tidily.


5 - The Flim Flam Brothers

My Little Pony takes more than a few musical inspirations from Broadway (we've got at least one more coming up). Here, they riff on the song "(Ya Got)Trouble" from The Music Man. A pair of slick characters come to Ponyville, peddling a product guaranteed to make the smoothest cider y'all ever done tasted. As a musical number, it's really effective at being catchy and furthering the plot - a feat most musical numbers on Broadway aren't able to manage.


4 - A True True Friend

The MLP Season 3 finale jams, like, seven songs into a twenty-two minute episode. As a result... it's pretty weak. The music, though has never been better, and this song is easily the highlight. The song manages to tak a bizarre body-swapping plot and turn it into a problem that can only be solved by friendship, which is exactly the type of ridiculous, larger-than-life metaphor I love in my entertainment. Sure, it's cheesy, but it never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

Yeah, I'm kind of a wuss. Stupid horses, making me cry! Batman, punch a horse for me, please!


3 - Raise This Barn

Man, did Raffi write this? You will never, ever, EVER forget how to count to four after the song is over.

But I like the song. I really do. Applejack's probably my other favorite character (after Rarity), but she doesn't really have the same level of musical exposure. There's just a sense of unabashed fun surrounding this little hoe-down ditty. I dig it.


2 - Babs Seed

Arguably the best song in the series - even if it isn't quite my favorite. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, a trio of under-developed fillies (and that's a plot point that STILL makes me uncomfortable) have to face down a bully. They sing out their sorrows in a retro-style number, complete with a fun and fancy music video. The animation's hypnotic, and the chorus sticks in your head long after the music fades.


1 - Art of the Dress

A Sondheim-inspired musical number performed by Rarity? Yes, please!

"Winter Wrap Up" may be the first big musical number of the series, but I consider "Art of the Dress" to be the best. It's a great defining moment for a character who often comes off as one-dimensional, showing the care and deliberation she puts into every creative act. It's a number I not only enjoy listening to, but, in a way, I connect with it.

Thanks for sticking with me through the list. Yeah, it's, um, pinker than usual. As a reward... I dunno. How about Batman beating the tar out of a bear?

Yeah, that'll do.

Project 18: She Seeks Him Still

Young Bonnie Barb of Corman Downs

Sits wilting by the way.

Her husband sailed away from town

To save the land, to serve the crown.

He told the lass to stay, oh stay.

He told the lass to stay.

The moon is gone, the sun is here.

Barb paces by the shore.

She waits for red sails to appear,

But swells within her deep the fear

She'll see him, oh, no more, no more.

She'll see him, oh, no more.

The flautists pipe, the men cavort.

"Come, Barbara!" they shout.

"There is no red sail at the port,

And we are come to thee to court.

Come Barbara, come out!  Come out!

Come Barbara, come out!"

Up, Barbara!  And through the door!

She shuts and locks it tight.

Though fear would for despair implore

Her longing heart she can't ingore.

She soldiers out at night, at night.

She soldiers out at night.

And so it was in Corman Downs,

Before the winter's chill,

Young Bonnie Barb forsook the town

To seek her man, who served the crown.

She wanders for him still, oh still.

She wanders for him still.

As I've been listening to more and more classical music, I've heard a lot of folksongs - the sort of music I haven't really listened to since I was in high school, where I was required to perform traditional songs in class. I find they have a certain charm - one which eluded me when I was still pubescent - so I thought I'd try my hand at writing one. It's not bad. A third draft of this piece would probably fix most of what's here, but I've spent more time on it than I intended.

Admittedly, that time was more spent on making sure "Corman Downs" isn't a real place than actually composing the words, but whatever.

The picture was a slap-dash job - took me maybe fifteen minutes. I'll admit it's one of the weaker pictures I've drawn for the Project, but just look at that water! Not professional in its composition, perhaps, but I think it's the best water I've ever drawn.

Well, I'M proud of it, at any rate.

Project 17: Magic No More

Every child, girl or boy,

At the age of ten or so

Discovers what, at least at first,

They wish they didn't know.

There is no God, no Santa Claus, 

No fantasies like that,

No rabbits jumping gaily out

From the magician's hat.

Mourn for that child, who mopes and moans,

Wrapped up in their mundanity.

For one who loses all their faith

Must wallow in insanity.

Much better is the child who dons

The thinker's cap and lens,

And hunts through nooks and grassy hills

To find magic again.

I'll admit that I've phoned it in a few times when I've been doing these project, but I promise that all the white space above was actually a conscious choice. It's an experiment in using the empty field of the page to emphasize isolation, loneliness, and disillusionment. Whether it's a successful experiment or not is another matter.

The poem itself is another matter. I'm still not terribly fond of it - and it's a theme I've explored in this very project (maybe even a couple of times now). However, it's time to move on. I'm still behind as is.

Big Screen Breakdown: Star Trek Into Darkness

I'm usually not much of a cinema-goer. Three movies in three weeks seems a bit excessive, but when you get the opportunity to go to a flick with an old friend, you don't pass the opportunity up.

Now, I'm not exactly a Star Trek fan, but I'm more than passingly familiar with the series, especially the movies with the original Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, so I think I'm pretty qualified to comment on this film.

• The first Star Trek reboot wowed me mainly with the impressive performances, and this film is no different. Standouts are Simon Pegg as Scotty and Karl Urban as Dr. McCoy. They capture the spirit of the original actors very well, and they are a delight every time they're on screen.
• I want to have Benedict Cumberbatch's evil, evil babies.
• This is maybe a little strange, but I noticed that a lot of the dialog was cluttered, cut off, or otherwise just somehow... off. And, you know what? It kinda works. The dialog feels real, and much less scripted.
• On another strange note, the foley in this movie's a little ridiculous. The sound effects are really loud - every time someone gets punched, it sounds like someone fired a cow out of a cannon at a hundred miles per hour into another cow.
• I worry that the new Trek series clings a bit too closely to the original series. They had the opportunity to make a clean start and free up some of the cluttered continuity. Unfortunately, they don't seem to be willing to do that. Instead, they continually reference the original series and movies. Luckily, most of these callbacks are simple references that only fans would pick up on, so there's little that would actually detract from the experience of watching the movie.
• There's a bit of the classic Kirk/Spock bromance present in the movie, but it feels a bit forced. There's not yet quite enough background to give that relationship enough depth at this point.
• (Note: This part gets a bit spoilery, so be warned.)
• Into Darkness seems to take all the most memorable bits of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan, shake 'em up, and make a movie out of the new order. You've got some of the same dialog, many of the same important characters, and even really similar death scenes.
• When the movie DOES stray from the plot of Star Trek II (the first one), it dramatically improves. The final action sequences with Benedict Cumberbatch's character are especially gripping, even clever.
• ...THAT. SAID. I had a really hard time with some of the death sequences. There are a few scenes where holes get blasted in the Enterprise, and some of the crew get sucked out not space, screaming. For some reason, I just couldn't handle these sequences - they felt cheap and gratuitous, and, frankly, they almost broke the movie for me.
• Verdict: For fans of the genre, yes.

Family Histeria

Fun Fact: I'm the head of the Temple and Family History committee in my ward.

What does that mean? Well, from a practical standpoint, it means I need to convince other members of my religious congregation to try to research their own geneologies when all they're really interested in is getting married and not doing geneological research.

I kid. But just a little.

I spent about two hours last night searching through pages and pages of online records, trying to verify some ill-remembered information I'd previously picked up from my father regarding our family history. I came up with... well, not much. Except, that is, for a bit stronger desire to actually practice what I preach when it comes to geneology. The sum total of my contributions to the family history effort can be seen in the flyer I drew up at the top of the post.

It's not a bad flyer, though, is it?

P.S.: This is a fun website. "Fun" might not be the right word, but anyone interested in family history might want to check it out.

Cooking BLENDING with Braddy: "Not Easy Being Green" Smoothies

Ahh... So the great Pinterest rush continues. I found a decent selection of smoothie recipes while browsing the boards one day. Interested in increasing my vegetable intake, I gave a few of them a try. It turns out that red pepper smoothies will always taste like red pepper (which isn't a bad thing, especially if you add a little cinnamon to the mix), but the green smoothie was the one I got most excited for.

I'll admit it: I just now realized that the recipe doesn't actually call for kale, but that's what I've been using. You have to understand - the first time I shopped with these smoothie recipes in mind, I didn't actually have the recipes in front of me. I wound up just grabbing everything that I thought sounded like it went in one of the recipes I'd read and ran with it. So when I made the "Not Easy Being Green" smoothie, I just sorta winged it. Or is it "wang it"?

Ennnh! Scratch that. It's definitely "winged it."

As seen at the link above, the green smoothie didn't do much for me. I mean, it tasted fine, but the overpowering flavor of the ginger made me feel like I was drinking medicine rather than a tasty nutritious beverage. So I did a little experimenting. Actually, I just did ONE experimenting, but it was a good one. I added a banana.

Banana has a really strong flavor that overpowers just about everything. However, ginger ALSO has a really strong flavor that overpowers just about everything. The resulting shake has a really strong, sweet taste followed by a spicy aftertaste. The two flavors complement each other surprisingly well.

With those two taste titans dominating the drink, you could probably put just about ANYTHING in there, and all you'd taste would be the ginger and banana. But that's not a bad thing. Just means you can sneak more greens in.

Introducing Braddy's Autobiocomix

So I've wanted to draw a webcomic for a long, long time, but I haven't really known how to go about it. Most webcomics are either of the "gag-a-day" sort, or they're these long winding epics. Frankly, I didn't really feel much like doing either.

At the same time, I've always felt like someone who writes as much as I do ought to keep more of a journal or diary. I don't really do much of that, either. I've probably attempted to start a journal five times in the last fifteen years, but I never keep them going more than a week.

So I got this idea: Why not achieve both goals at the same time?

Thus, I bring you "Braddy's Autobiocomix."

This is something of an experiment in webcomicry. The goal is to take fifteen minutes or so, doodle up a picture of something that happens to me each day (or how I felt or whatever) and post it on the blog. I don't really mean to tell a bunch of jokes - although I do find self-deprecation to be a potent medicine. I just want to keep a more diligent record of how I'm feeling day to day.

If it interests you, go ahead and follow along. If not, no worries. I'm really doing this more to amuse myself than anything else.

Big Screen Breakdown: The Great Gatsby

Every now and again, somebody writes a book. Then that book goes on to shape the development of American literature for a century. Somewhere in that century, Baz Luhrmann was born. Then this movie happened.

• The Great Gatsby is a novel about the excesses of the jazz age, and Baz Luhrmann's hyperactive, spasmic cinematography captures those excesses perfectly. The first twenty minutes or so show why Luhrmann and Gatsby could be such a great match.
• The first hour of the movie flies by. It isn't paced so much as whipped into a frothing gallopping frenzy from the minute the story begins. After about the halfway point, the movie slows to a crawl. My butt started to hurt - and if there's one thing a movie should do, it's distract you from how much your butt hurts.
• Leonardo Dicaprio is an excellent actor, and he brings a great deal of charm and innocence to the character of Gatsby.
• But if Leo says "Old Spowt" one more time... I'mma cut someone.
• Luhrmann incorporates a lot of R & B into the soundtrack, comparing it to the relative edginess of jazz music in the early twentieth century. It's a bit of a brave choice, and one I could see myself getting behind... if they hadn't chosen to include so many jazz standards at the same time. You wind up with a weird mix of contemporary hip-hop and classical jazz, and, as a result, you don't get enough of either.
• Maybe it's just me, but I swear that, while Gatsby's driving his car around, I could hear Tie Fighter noises. You know, like from Star Wars.
• So Tobey Maguire gets admitted to an asylum for treatment of his alcoholism, and he gets to sit around all day, getting breakfast served to him, and writing a novel? Someone pass me the Jägermeister!
• I'm actually not sure why Tobey Maguire's character was in this movie. In the book, Nick Carraway is our audience surrogate - a point of view character who describes the scenery to the audience. In the movie, he does the same thing... but it's silly, because there are these pictures on the screen that move. It's a moving picture. So Tobey Maguire just winds up being that guy in the movie theater who won't stop describing the stuff on the screen that everyone else can already see.
• And then there's that closing scene, when the words from Nick's typewriter fly up into the air, almost as if to remind the audience that there's probably a book out there they could be reading.
• Sometimes, just sometimes, the movie gets out of its own way and lets the images tell the story. Luhrmann choreographs a mean party scene, and there's another sequence near the beginning with a lot of billowing curtains that's really quite pretty. These moments are the best.
• Anyone else think those glasses are funny? Cuz I seriously laughed every time they popped up.
• Verdict: Eh... Watch it once for the spectacle.

Project 16: Up in the Sky

When I turn my head skyward,

I often see stars,

Dark skies, the moon,

The red planet Mars.

I sometimes see clouds,

A blinding bright sun,

A flock of small birds -

Twenty, or just one.

There are airplanes, phone poles,

Towering trees,

Skyscrapers, smokestacks,

And more things like these.

Sometimes I look up

To something crushing,

When I get a huge eyeful

Of absolute nothing.

Once, and once only,

 I'd just like to say,

"There's a man in a cape

Come to save the day."

Okay, I know I said I'd be done with humorous light poetry, but that's just it - I'm not trying to be funny here. Maybe this is a childish fantasy, but I don't care. Sometime, when things are a mess, I'd like to look up and see someone who will just make everything okay. And I don't mind admitting that.

Okay, on to the picture - This is one of those rare projects where I drew the picture first and wrote what the picture made me think of. As a result, I'm actually much fonder of the picture itself than the poem. A lot of big-name superheroes put a lot of stock in their iconography (think of the Superman "S," for example). For most heroes, the symbol becomes a representation of the hope/ideology the hero tries to bring. I wanted to play with that idea here: There's a lot of iconography going on in the above picture, especially on the signs in be background. Each of those COULD mean something, and yet there's the unmistakable image of the man in the cape, which represents something completely different from the other branded images.

Or, you know, maybe I'm just talking a lot of nothing. That could be true, too.

Cooking with Braddy: Jalapeno Burgers

As I was sitting around on Tuesday, bored with myself, I thought that the one thing that I needed to make my life interesting/complete was a hamburger.  Alas, I have recently become most disillusioned with the fast-food burger - bland bits of meat wedged unceremoniously between hunks of pumice stone that were once bread.  So I opted to make a burger on my own, which was awesome.  However, I soon fell into despondency again, for I didn't think I could find a way to make a burger more interesting than just a hunk of meat fried in a pan.

That's when I realized that I am a MAN, and I can put whatever the heck I want in my burger.  So off I went to the store, where I picked up a couple of jalapeno peppers, some garlic, and some pepperjack cheese.  I half-heartedly grabbed a tomato from the produce section, thinking the color would make the burger more interesting.  Then, yet again, I remembered that I am a MAN, and I don't have to eat no stinkin' tomatoes if I don't want to.

So I cut up the peppers, demolished the garlic with my brand-new garlic press, and smashed 'em together into the raw hamburger meat with my bare hands.  Again, because I am a MAN.

Pictured:  Not tomatoes.

Notice my repeated assertions that I am a MAN nowhere indicate that I am a cook, for I left the burgers on the stovetop a bit too long, resulting in a most unfortunate burnt condition.  The jalapenos contributed little to the overall flavor of the dish, for they were sadly casualties of the great burger burning of 2013.  Many tears were shed over their passing - although I imagine the fumes of burnt peppers in the air may have been the true cause of sorrow, rather than the loss of the peppers themselves.

Still, I ate the burgers, burnt peppers and all, because I am a MAN and I can eat anything with enough barbecue sauce drizzled on it.

Done with the Drama

Oookay... So I've been going back and forth on how to compose this post. In fact, over the last five/six months, I think I've started composing the post, only to completely scrap it a week later. But it's a sentiment I've been meaning to address for a while, so I think I'd better do it, just to get it out of my system.

I think I'm done with theater.

That's gonna come as a surprise to a few people who only know me through my involvement with the community theater scene in Salt Lake and Magna. Heck, I know for a fact that there are several people in my church and work circles who think my ONLY distinguishing characteristic is that I do theater every now and again, as of they've never heard me talk about Batman or My Little Pony.

Sure, I'd do the odd show when the urge struck me, and I spent four sleep-deprived years in an improv comedy troupe. but something happened where I just sort of hit a wall, and I just don't want to do it anymore.

I actually THOUGHT I was done about three years ago, after I did a production of Arsenic and Old Lace (which I loved). Then I thought I was done after Damn Yankees (which I hated, as did everyone who ever saw it, ever). Then I got roped into Blithe Spirit (which was awesome, but next to no one saw it). And then... actually, that's about it. That was about a year ago, and I haven't hardly been tempted to audition for another show.

My improv career came to an end back in August. I'd tell you the story as to why I resigned, but, to quote Scott Pilgrim (the comic book, not the song), "it's a long story full of sighs." So I'll spare you. The short version is that I was dedicating too much time to something that wasn't bringing me the joy or fulfillment it once had. My other passions suffered as a result, as did my enthusiasm for the art of improv itself. I felt it was best for everyone that I left, and I haven't been seriously tempted to get back into it since.

Now this isn't to say that I'll NEVER do another show, nor can I say that I'm done with performing as a hobby. I got a real kick out of Christmas caroling back in December, so I think I'll try to get back into that (if my voice can ever decide to settle the crap down again). I definitely need to scale way back... and I say that now, nearly a year after my last great theatrical responsibility. It's going to be a long, slow recovery here.

So... yeah. I've had a few people ask me to come and audition for their shows, or recommend me to friends of theirs, and I'm grateful to be thought so highly of (or, alternatively, I'm sorry that y'all had to scrape so far down to the bottom of the bucket where I dwell). I've been turning these opportunities down, mainly because my personal and professional life have become so tumultuous that the additional responsibility of learning lines and blocking makes me break out in a greasepaint sweat. But a while back I decided that I wanted to be a writer, and I've tended to let my theatrical responsibilities get in the way of my writing goals. I just can't do that anymore.

And before any of you say that I'm neglecting a talent or whatever... you probably haven't heard me try to deliver dialog in a French accent. Let me tell you that I'm doing a favor to the ENTIRE theatrical community by staying the heck home.

Project 15: And So I'm Getting Older

And so I'm getting older -
Well, that's what they say it's called.
I never thought I'd live so long
To see head be so far on
The other side of "bald."

I'm "baby face" no longer.
My skin is chapped and raw,
And though I once was thought quite svelte,
My waist has mushroomed o'er my belt
Until I see my feet no maw.

It's sad I'm such a shambles.
I'm only twenty nine.
And though I'm feeling quite decrepit,
I bet, if only I would step it up
I'd be just fine.

So I give up sweets and goodies
(No more ice cream, no more pies)
And though I long for steak and taters
My body will not thank me laters
For a fatty butt and thighs.

Hear now my testimony
For living hale and blandly.
I rarely pant, I never get sick -
Unlike when I was hedonistic
And weekends ended badly.

So now when I go beddie-bye
At 9:15 at night,
I relish my early inaction
With super-smug self satisfaction
From living life so right.

And then the thought
That brings me shock -
Damn it, Mom was RIGHT.

Eh, it's SORT OF a Mother's Day poem.

I think it's about time to break away from the light, comedic verse. I've enjoyed it - especially the "game" of finding fun rhymes, but I'm falling into a bit of a rut right now. I'll definitely come back to this style of poem in the future - Ogden Nash rhymes are fun.

The picture was a fun one to assemble. I know proportions are off all over the place (look at the guy's tiny toothbrush), but I get a kick out of the expression on his face. I've gotten pretty good at manipulating the "layers" in the Procreate drawing tool to make coloring easier. It's all still quite cartoony looking - but I've never much cared for "realism" in my pictures, so I'm cool with that.

Cooking with Braddy: Enchilada Stuffed Mushrooms

I spent Friday night at a cooking class with Gingerstar, which included thai chicken basil stir-fry, shrimp and mushroom soup, and mango sorbet. Good stuff, but a little too exotic for me to reproduce at home. However, the soup put me in the mood for mushrooms, and so I desperately scoured Pinterest for a good stuffed mushroom recipe. And this is what I found.

Okay, there's not a lot to say about these. They're good, and they're cheesy, and their spicy. Oh, and they're super, super easy. Just break the stems out, stuff 'em with cheese and green onions, smother with enchilada sauce (and more cheese), and cook for twenty minutes. Bam.

Project 14: Kiss Me (Just a Little Bit)

The night is over, and I don't want to leave.
You press your hand against my chest.
You say, "I have to go." I pull you in close.
We both know what's going to happen next.

I don't want to take it easy
I'm not looking to fight.
I won't take no for an answer,
But maybe feels just right.

CHORUS:
Kiss me just a little bit goodnight.
Send me home, wishing on a star.
Kiss me just a little bit, and shut the door.
Promise I'll be coming back tomorrow.

No room between us. We share the air we breathe.
My heart's a wreck, my vision's all a blur.
You whisper in my ear, "See you again, my dear."
I'm left clutching nothing where you were.

Your lips are red delicious.
I'm hanging from your tree.
Why is it that the sweetest fruit
Is always out of reach?

CHORUS:
Kiss me just a little bit goodnight.
Send me home, wishing on a star.
Kiss me just a little bit, and shut the door.
Promise I'll be coming back tomorrow.

BRIDGE:
Your tender skin, your loving touch, your kisses I adore.
So take your time, and I'll be here cuz you're worth waiting for.

CHORUS:
Kiss me just a little bit goodnight.
Send me home, wishing on a star.
Kiss me just a little bit, and shut the door.
Promise I'll be coming back tomorrow.

Also called "Braddy's Ode on Sexual Frustration."

Internet comedian/music critic Todd in the Shadows uses the term "white guy with guitar" to refer to the kind of laid-back, easygoing (and lazy) music performed by the likes of Jack Johnson and Jason Mraz. Welp, this is MY "white guy with guitar" song, complete with creepy, manipulative, and predatory undertones inspired by bands like One Direction.

I giggled the whole time I spent writing this song. To me, it's just SO funny.

The picture here is my first real attempt at "mood coloring." Initially, I was going to spend a lot more time coloring in all the little details; however, I accidentally wound up with the monochrome "spotlight" on the singer, and I just loved it too darn much to change.

Big Screen Breakdown: Iron Man 3

Next time I post joke spoilers about a movie, I think I'm REALLY going to have to up the hyperbole. All that stuff I said? Lies. Filthy, filthy lies. So, since I haven't shared my real opinion of Iron Man 3' I'll do it now.

• The action sequences come fast and frequently, to the point where I seriously could not remember on the way home how the movie actually started. It hit the ground, man, and it was OFF.
• As in the other Iron Man movies, the real joy comes from watching Robert Downey Jr. do his thing, and he's at the top of his game here. It's funny how much sympathy he's able to milk in a role that's completely unsympathetic. Pretty excellent stuff.
• Gwyneth Paltrow may have been my favorite part of the movie. I always thought the role of "Pepper Pots - Love Interest" was a little underwritten, but... it still is. That said, Paltrow does an excellent job with what she's given, and she gets a couple of real kick-@$$ moments.
• I think there must have been something added to RDJ's contract stipulating that his face needs to be seen more, because he's, like, almost NEVER completely covered up by the Iron Man suit. And that's not really a bad thing.
• So... the villain of this piece is called "The Mandarin." It struck me as a little too "yellow peril" for a perfectly PC 2013 filmgoing audience. But Ben Kingsley totally nails it. The whole thing totally works, and the Mandarin may actually be my other favorite part of the movie.
• Iron Man 3 is doing the whole superhero shared universe thing RIGHT. It acknowledges the events of The Avengers while standing on its own legs as a story. The previous movies add flavor, but the dish is satisfying without knowing where it came from.
• My third favorite part of the movie? DIY-ron Man.
• There's a couple of throwaway lines referencing the Roxxon Energy Corporation. Most people will see Roxxon as a fairly obvious analog to Exxon-Mobil; however, in the comics, Roxxon is owned by a man named Aleksander Lukin, one of the primary antagonists in the Captain America story The Winter Soldier. And guess what the next Captain America movie's called?
• No AC/DC songs? Hm...
• My other OTHER favorite part? I can't really talk about it, cuz it's kind of a spoiler. Let's just say I frickin' love it when superheroes get to act like superheroes and save the day, even if they do so with the squishiest of soft-sciences. Rule of cool applies here, people.
• Yes, there's a stinger after the credits. No, it doesn't spoil Avengers 2 Yes, it's worth it... but the credits themselves are actually pretty fun. There's a stylish roll-call sequence that recalls some of the more enjoyable parts of the James Bond franchise. Loved it!
• Verdict: Highly Recommended (maybe even better than The Avengers.) (Yeah, I said it.)