Adventures in Animation: The X-Men Animated Series

This week, I've started watching or re-watching some of the cartoon series I enjoyed as a kid (or somehow or other missed out on). I started with X-Men because, as I said the other day, "I'm pretty sure this show is TERRIBLE."

I got the first disc from the library. Technically, I guess I got the first SEASON, but Disc 2 of Season 1 is so scratched up my DVD player won't even READ it. Seriously, folks, take good care of your library check-outs. Otherwise, you might make a grown nerd cry, and nobody wants that.

So, verdict: Is X-Men really such a terrible show?

Well, yes and no. The first several episodes - and especially the two-part pilot - are full of some really questionable dialog. Among the worst offenders is the genius Beast, who uses "big woids" ALL the dang time so everyone knows he's the smart one, regardless of whether those words make ANY sense in the context.

The animation's pretty bad, too. There's an episode early on that features the characters Jean Grey and Cyclops on a date. The midriff on Jean's outfit keeps disappearing, as if half the animation team thought she was wearing a full-length dress while the other half wanted her in a skirt and crop-top.

Despite the shoddiness of the production, the stories the individual episodes tell are still pretty solid. Yeah, they're full of hokey dialog and intense dramatics, but those are pretty much just the cumin and clove to the wonderful curry that is the superhero story.

And, besides, there's always...

...oh, yeah. I forgot about her.

Watching X-Men reminded me of something I'd repressed forgotten: I used to have a HUGE crush on Rogue. She may actually be up there with Gadget and April O'Neil as the first real formative crushes I ever had. And, I mean, what's not to like? She's confident, she's strong, and more than a little sassy. I guess there's that whole "touch me and you will die thing, but..."

Wait a minute! So my earliest fictional crush was a woman who literally kills people by touching them? That explains SO MUCH!

THAT'S why I love Pushing Daisies! It all makes sense now.

Caveat Emptor... NERD

I haven't really been a fan of the X-Men comics since I was a kid (and, even then, I really only watched the television show). However, with all the hype surrounding the new X-Men movie, I decided to go out and pick up some comics to see if I could find something to catch my fancy.

I grabbed the storyline written by one of my favorite writers, Grant Morrison (who I love so much for basically filling his stories with pure creative insanity). So I read through the arc, and... well, I got basically what I wanted. The story was full of high-concept villains, perfect twists on the mundane, and Morrison's signature fragmented storytelling.

The story's so fragmented, actually, that I nearly didn't notice that there are 30 pages missing from the book.

Good thing I kept the receipt.

What the Devil...?

As much as I love comic books, I don't care a whole lot for the X-Men. This isn't a universal dislike - I grew up on the X-Men animated series theme song, and the second X-Men movie is about the best comic book movie out there. Still, anything involving the X-Men nowadays just doesn't catch my attention. Not sure why.

(Actually, I know EXACTLY why, but that's a post for another time - if I decide I care)

So, yeah, they're making another X-Men movie. Here's a picture:


Well, okay, I doubt that this is actually an official photograph (it couldn't scream Photoshop anymore if it had lips), but the actors' pictures I think are pretty accurate.

Now, these teaser images (the legit ones, at any rate) are supposed to drum up excitement for the upcoming movie, pique curiousity, get the potential audience to ask questions.

So I have a question: Who the crap is this?


Apparently, this is a character named Azazel. I've never heard of him before - and I thought I had all of the X-Men collector's cards. Guess I missed a few.

Apparently, this guy's Nightcrawler's father(?). Also, he's a demon or something. Here's the summary from Wikipedia:

"Azazel claims that many years ago an ancient horde of demonic mutants from biblical times called the Neyaphem were in an epic battle with a group of angelic over-zealous mutants, named the Cheyarafim. They were victorious in the battle and vanquished the "evil" mutants to an alternate dimension for all eternity. The Neyaphem's leader, Azazel, was the only one who was able to breach the dimensional void for brief periods of time due to his teleportation powers. His only hope to return to earth was by impregnating women because his children are linked to his dimension."

So, yeah, the next X-Men movie will feature a guy who may or may not be the devil who ran around and impregnated as many women as he could?

Get me a ticket for the midnight show!