Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Robert Frost: B Sides

So here we are post-Memorial Day. I usually love this holiday – purely for selfish reasons, of course. I have a thing for three-day weekends. Of course, while most people spent their Memorial Day weekends camping or picnicking, I came down with the @#$%ing swine flu. So I whiled away the hours this weekend with a season and a half of Arrested Development, a few hours of Doctor Who, The Bourne Identity, the musical commentary to Doctor Horrible’s Sing-along Blog, three hours of Okami, and four hours of Final Fantasy IX. And I drank more Nyquil than water. A weekend well-spent.

Seriously, I probably would’ve felt more fulfilled at work.

Anyway, I did spend a bit of time this past weekend looking over a book I bought a few years back of the complete poetry of Robert Frost. Now, I love Robert Frost. I personally consider him to be one of the best poets of the English language, right up there with E. E. Cummings and George Luca… okay, I can’t even FINISH that joke without tasting gun oil in my mouth.

I’d encourage all young poets to grab the complete collected poetry of one of their idols. I have one for both Frost and Cummings. The REASON I recommend this to aspiring writers is that a lot of those “other poems” the literary greats wrote kinda suck. Cummings, of course, is dense and confusing when he’s ON his game, so there’s no real way for me to identify his bad poetry without a scalpel and a complete medical encyclopedia to identify all the little icky parts. So I’m gonna pick on Frost.

When Frost writes a good poem, he changes the world. Seriously, I heard Robert Frost poems quoted in X-Men cartoons when I was growing up – that’s how pervasive he is. Even some of his poems that AREN’T “Whose woods these are I think I know” and “Two roads diverged in a yellow wood” are pure genius. Take a gander at this verse he wrote about being idolized. The title’s not very clever, but beyond that… well, if you’d look like I told you to, I wouldn’t have to summarize the whole poem for you:

ON BEING IDOLIZED

The wave sucks back and with the last of water
It wraps a wisp of seaweed round my legs,
And with the swift rush of its sandy dregs
So undermines my barefoot stand I totter,
And did I not take steps would be tipped over
Like the ideal of some mistaken lover.

Now I have to do some explaining anyway, just to show you why I think it’s clever. I hope you don’t think I’m talking down to you: I actually share my opinion about poetry to get a bit of validation for my interpretations (bloggers don’t get As from their poetry professors). To me, the whole poem demonstrates Frost’s ability to be self-effacing and humble in the face of praise, not to mention there’s a bit of Zen-like wisdom. That line about the mistaken lover is something like that metaphor about the fly who can’t feel the vibrations of the temple bell… Hmm, I might have made that up. I’ll blame the Nyquil.

Here’s another lesser-known Frost poem, this one a bit cutesy:

THE ROSE FAMILY

The rose is a rose,
And was always a rose.
But the theory now goes
That the apple’s a rose,
And the pear is, and so’s
The plum, I suppose.
The dear only knows
What will next prove a rose.
You, of course, are a rose –
But were always a rose.

See, the repeated “rose” rhyme, to me, is very clever. But it’s clever like Dr. Seuss, not like the Magna Charta. Still, there’s something undeniably charming about that last couplet. I imagine most girls would love to be told they are a rose in such a playful yet sly manner (and if I’d ever actually SAID something like that, maybe I wouldn’t have to hypothesize).

Now for one more. Let me warn you: this one’s a doozy.

QUANDARY

Never have I been sad or glad
That there was such a thing as bad.
There had to be, I understood,
For there to have been any good.
It was by having been contrasted
That good and bad so long have lasted.
That’s why discrimination reigns.
That’s why we need a lot of brains
If only to discriminate
‘Twixt what to love and what to hate.
To quote the oracle of Delphi,
Love thou thy neighbor as thyself, aye,
And hate him as thyself thou hatest.
There quandary is at its greatest.
We learned from the forbidden fruit
For brains there is no substitute.
“Unless it’s sweetbreads,” you suggest
With innuendo I detest.
You drive me to confess in ink:
Once I was fool enough to think
That brains and sweetbreads were the same,
Till I was caught and put to shame,
First by a butcher, then a cook,
Then by a scientific book.
But ‘twas by making sweetbreads do
I passed with such a high I.Q.

I’ll concede that rhyming “Oracle of Delphi” with “as thyself, aye,” IS clever – but it’s the type of clever I wouldn’t even attribute to Dr. Seuss. It’s “Weird Al” clever – funny, and obviously thought-out, but gimmicky.

And WHAT is going on in this poem? It’s stream-of-consciousness, almost, in that the stream starts at one point and ends somewhere completely different. The only thing the destination has in common with the origin is the path by which we arrived there. We start off with some philosophical musing on the nature of good and evil, the needs for opposites, and a particularly intriguing idea that good and evil only continue to exist BECAUSE we continue to distinguish between them.

Where does Frost go from there? He starts talking about brains and… sweetbreads? Seriously, sweetbreads? I’m not sure WHAT Frost gets from referring to offal in this poem… although it DOES prompt a confession of my own. I used to think “sweetbreads” were the same thing as “Rocky Mountain Oysters.” For the record, they’re not.

To me, the poem feels unfinished, like there’s still something that’s supposed to follow the line about I.Q. But maybe there’s not – maybe he MEANT to leave us hanging. Or maybe…

Nah, you know what? Forget it. I don’t DO “stream-of-consciousness” unless it’s in a strict blog format. So screw you, Robert Frost. Screw you.

P.S.: Still love “Mending Wall.”

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

I'm Holding Out for a Hero... to Read!


Once again I'm asking for volunteers to help me get some poems ready for publication. It's now been about three months since I've made any poetry submissions. Most of the ones I made last time got rejected (as is usually the case), but I will not be deterred! It's time to try again, submit to magazines that are WAY out of my league, and wait anxiously for the rejections to pour in.
Any help anyone can offer would be very much appreciated. I've got some new poems that have never before been read by anyone other than me that are in DIRE need of critical eyes. I've also got some older poems that I've been working on for months and years that could still use some improvement. If you'd like to help, I'll send you a poem or two to read over. I only ask that you answer a couple questions for each:
1 - Gut reaction: Did you like the poem? Hate it? How did you feel while reading it?
2 - Favorite parts: Is there a particular line that sticks out to you? Do you like the story the poem tells?
3 - Least favorite parts: Did anything shake you up when you were reading the poem? What interrupted the process of reading? Any of the word choices seem inappropriate/unnatural?
In the end, any feedback you can give (even "This poem is good/smells like feet") will help me get these poems ready to submit. Thanks in advance!

Friday, May 15, 2009

AFTER the Wedding




Guy's only in three frames because I HATE that bow-tie!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

My Showbiz History

Bored at work? Want to write a blog entry, but can't think of anything to do? Here comes the meme to save the day! This one's specifically about stage performances, though, so I feel justified in filling it out. The specificity makes it more meaningful.

LAST SHOW ADDED TO YOUR RESUME:
Taming of the Shrew at the Empress Theatre - a WESTERN :-)

LAST SHOW YOU AUDITIONED FOR:
An Evening of One-Act Plays at the Empress.

DID YOU GET IT?
Yeah, I just don't put it on my resume.

LAST SONG/MONOLOGUE YOU USED AT AN AUDITION:
"I've Heard it All Before" from Shenandoah.

FAVORITE MUSICAL(s) EVER:
Probably Les Misérables.

FAVORITE PLAY(s) EVER:
Definitely Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead.

FAVORITE ROLE YOU'VE PLAYED, AND FROM WHAT SHOW?
Honestly, it would probably be Ephraim from Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. That was just a fun show.

FAVORITE ROLE OVERALL THAT I WOULD LOVE TO PLAY:
In a musical, either Javert from Les Mis or Chauvelin from The Scarlet Pimpernel. In a non-musical, either Guildenstern in R & G are Dead or Iago in Othello.

SUPERSTITION:
Not really superstitious in theater. Well, no more than in real life.

YOUR GOAL IN SHOW BUSINESS:
No goals. It's just a fun hobby - when I have the time for it.

FAVORITE DIRECTOR YOU HAVE EVER WORKED WITH:
Probably Porter Williams, director for Seven Brides for Seven Brothers.

WHAT WAS YOUR VERY FIRST SHOW?
Greek tragedy Antigone. I was twelve.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A DANCE SOLO?
Yeah, no. Not much of a dancer here.

HAVE YOU EVER HAD A SINGING SOLO?
Two lines. Does that count?

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN THE LAST PERSON TO TAKE A BOW?
Only in that the rest of the ensemble had already started their bow and I was behind.

HAVE YOU BEEN TO NEW YORK?
Nope, but I'd love to go. That's really the poor starving writer in me, though, not the actor.

HAVE YOU BEEN TO LA?
Yeah, on choir tour. No big deal.

WHAT'S THE SCARIEST PART OF AN AUDITION?
The whole frickin' thing! Don't know why, but I'm TERRIFIED at auditions.

WHAT'S THE BEST PART OF AN AUDITION?
Getting a part. Of course, that's when you realize that you've just signed away the next three months of your life, so maybe it's not all that it's cracked up to be.

NAME A SHOW YOU WOULD NEVER DO AGAIN:
Anne of Green Gables. Wow, that show's a stinker.

NAME A SHOW YOU COULD DO FOR YEARS:
Never been in one that I wouldn't lose patience with after a few months.

WHAT ARE YOU AUDITIONING FOR NEXT?
Possibly Arsenic and Old Lace, but that remains to be seen.

DO YOU KEEP IN TOUCH WITH PAST CAST MEMBERS?
Depends. You could probably find most of them in my friend list on Facebook. Doesn't mean I still talk to them, though.

ON A SCALE OF 1-10, HOW IMPORTANT IS GETTING PAID?
The only time I've ever gotten a paycheck from a show, I got about $180. For the entire show. Yet I still do it, so I'll have to say 1.

SOMETHING EMBARASSING OR UNEXPECTED THAT HAPPENED TO YOU WHILE ON STAGE?
During the one-act plays I just finished, somebody dropped a line, so we wound up skipping about three minutes worth of material. Turns out that I'M the one that screwed up. Other than that, of course, I'm completely infallible, but... man, that sucked.

WHO IS THE MOST DIFFICULT PERSON (ON STAGE OR OFF) THAT YOU HAVE EVER WORKED WITH?
Probably you. You, and your mom. You, your mom, and that sea troll you call a girlfriend.

WHAT IS YOUR ONSTAGE PET PEEVE?
Actors making crap up on closing night.

WHAT IS YOUR BACKSTAGE PET PEEVE?
Don't really have one. Honestly, backstage is where all the fun happens.

EVER BEEN NAKED ONSTAGE? WOULD YOU?
Got close - wrapped up in an itchy blanket during Seven Brides. From that experience, I doubt any director would WANT me to be onstage naked.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN KILLED?
In Hamlet. I played King Claudius. And I almost committed suicide in Antigone, but we dropped the curtain right at the end.

BEEN DRUNK?
Nope. All of my characters have handled their liquor excellently.

PLAYED SOMEONE HALF YOUR AGE?
Yeah. In Anne of Green Gables, I played a young kid, despite being the tallest person in the cast. I wore knickers to make me look shorter.

PLAYED SOMEONE TWICE YOUR AGE?
At least. I was 12 when I played King Claudius.

CRIED?
Never. I'm too awesome for tears.

FIRED A GUN?
Not yet...

BEEN DRENCHED?
No. Woulda made Anne of Green Gables more fun.

BEEN IN A DREAM SEQUENCE?
I'm gonna say "no." Sometimes, in musical theater, it's hard to tell if it's supposed to be a dream sequence or not.

BEEN KISSED?
First time was in Hamlet in sixth grade. No kid should have to do a stage kiss before he's gotten a real kiss. That's all I have to say.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Friday, May 8, 2009

Star Trek and Beyond

They rebooted Star Trek.

Um… is he all right?

They rebooted Star Trek.

Dude, we heard you already. Chill out.

No, you don’t get it. Lemme repeat myself, only in all caps and with more profanity so that my point’s clearer.

THEY. %$#%ING. REBOOTED. STAR TREK!!!

Look, I’m not a “Trekkie,” but I grew up in a house where Star Trek was watched and appreciated by what seemed like everyone except me. So I’ve seen all the old movies (at least, I think I’ve seen them. I don’t remember much from the first, third, and fifth movies, but apparently there’s not much TO remember). I know what Star Trek is all about, and Star Trek is about bad acting with bad special effects involving shaky cameras and actors throwing themselves about. Star Trek is vaguely alien-looking humanoids with plastic prosthetics on their foreheads/ears. And Star Trek is William Shatner.

The new Star Trek movie plays a lot more like Star Wars: epic space battles, truly bizarre aliens of all shapes and sizes… Heck, there’s a scene where Kirk stares contemplatively at a starship under construction that looks a lot like Luke Skywalker staring at the Tatooine suns in the first Star Wars movie.

Most of the movie features James T. Kirk in incredibly stupid situations, including an incredibly stupid scene where a big furry snow monster chases Kirk around, only to get eaten by an even BIGGER snow monster to show up, eat it, and then start chasing Kirk for no good reason. He gets into no fewer than three fist fights and loses them all. Oh, and there’s that scene where Kirk runs frantically around the U.S.S. Enterprise with swollen hands and tongue that’s… well, it’s actually pretty funny, but it feels out of place..

Despite the new, young actors coming in to play all the classic characters, the star of the movie is pretty much Leonard Nimoy, who travels back in time as the original Spock and basically resets all of history. So, yeah, the thirty years of bad television serials and passable movies? Basically never happened. The reboot is subtly executed and smoothly transitions the “old” Star Trek into the “new” one, but it involves quite a lot of pretty cheesy scenes with Old Spock.

Believe it or not, though, I actually liked the movie. Zachary Quinto really does look like a young Spock, Simon Pegg is amazing as the engineer Scotty (even though he looks nothing like the original actor), but the show is almost completely stolen by Karl Urban, who looks, sounds, and acts perfectly like Dr. McCoy. There really needs to be a bit less of Old Spock and Kirk getting beaten up and a lot more McCoy and Pegg.

Now, the Star Trek reboot raises a couple of concerns. First, if this movie proves successful, old Trekkies are going to be way out of place – even more than they used to. The trailers all exclaimed that “This isn’t your father’s Star Trek,” and it turns out they weren’t exaggerating. So when I see the Trekkies in the movie theater, who clawed their way out from underneath piles of Cheeto bags in their mothers’ basements and squeezed their portly bellies into skin-tight black jumpsuits with plastic Federation pins on them for *ahem* “added authenticity,” I almost feel sorry for them. Their universe has changed, and they don’t really belong anymore. And, honestly, it’s probably best for the franchise to evolve this way.

My second concern, though, has a bit more weight, I think. Star Trek is the latest in a long line of reboots. We got Batman Begins a few years ago, along with the Superman reboot (which is getting rebooted again). We’ve also seen classic properties like James Bond, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Transformers get rebooted. This summer, we’re due for reboots of G.I. Joe and the Terminator series (well, the new movie FEELS like a reboot, at any rate). These are all properties that have been around for AT LEAST twenty years. So twenty years later, and we’re still watching the same stories play out, over and over again. Okay, sure, we’ve got different writers and actors, different interpretations of events, different viewpoints, but these are still the same characters.

In another twenty years, will we STILL be getting new Batman, Star Trek, and Transformers movies? And how long before Star Wars gets a reboot? Come to think of it, are there ANY properties less than twenty years old that we’ll need to start over in twenty years? Would people pay to see a reboot of the Harry Potter franchise?

I guess my concern sounds like the old complaint that “there are no original ideas left.” And, yeah, I’m a little concerned about that. I think the biggest problem, though, is with legacy. See, Star Trek, Transformers, Batman… these are stories and characters that the CURRENT adult population grew up on, so the appeal’s all in the nostalgia. Now I’ll admit I’m a little unclear as to what the current generation watches on TV, but I’m pretty sure that we won’t be seeing Pokémon and Avatar stories get revamped for adult audiences when our children grow up.

At least, I hope not, because I’m pretty sure Pokémon with PG-13 levels of computer-animated violence would be an ugly, ugly affair.