Best Songs From My Little Pony (Shut Up)

A week or two ago, I met up with my friends from the book club for dinner just before heading off to watch The Great Gatsby. Over dinner, I fended off accusations of being a "brony." See, as obsessed enthusiastic as I get about the things I like, I tend to prefer not to self-identify by my passions. Thus I vehemently denied being anything more than a casual fan of the show My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

And then I go and do something like this. Mixed signals, I guess.

It is with only a teensy bit of shame that I admit how much I enjoy the music of MLP. A lot of it is frilly and saccharine, but... heck, that's actually part of the appeal of the show. Every now and again, the writers put a lot of effort into creating a real breakout musical moment. So now, while I'm waiting for my Season 2 DVDs to arrive in the mail, I'mma count down my 10 favorite songs from the series.

Yeeeeaaahh... Here we go:


10 - This Day Aria

As much as I'm one to assert that MLP is totally a show for dudes and all their manly pectorals, I have a hard time defending that position with all the whirly girly plots that drive most of the action. Case in point: The Season 2 finale is all about *squee* a wedding.

Of course, it is a wedding involving an evil doppelgänger, who kidnaps the real bride and then sings a song about how eeeeeeevil she is. It's a plot straight out of a comic book, and the song's not bad, either.


9 - At the Gala

Oh yeah, and the Season 1 finale is all about a going to a BALL! Somebody call Betty Friedan!

Musically, this song takes more than a few pages from Stephen Sondheim and Into the Woods. And, really, if your foundation is Sondheim, you're probably going to end up in a pretty good place. Admittedly, you could probably get the same level of satisfaction from listening to "Ever After" instead, but adding cartoon ponies doesn't really hurt the source material.


8 - The Smile Song

Pretty pony Pinkie Pie is the resident cloudcuckoolander of the cast. In small doses, she's entertaining. Whenever she's the center of attention, though, she gets pretty grating. That said, the song where she confesses just how much she loves to watch other people smile is pretty endearing... even though the lyrics kinda imply that Pinkie just isn't capable of coping with sadness. In that light, they're kinda disturbing. Still a fun song, though.


7 - Becoming Popular (The Pony Everypony Should Know)

Okay, I don't know who does the singing voice for the pony Rarity (actually, I do, though that information doesn't really mean much to me), but I freaking LOVE HER. Anytime Rarity gets a chance to sing, that episode immediately shoots to the top of my favorites list. The character Rarity is vain, selfish, and a bit of a jerk... but that voice! Pretty sweet.


6 - Winter Wrap Up

The song "Winter Wrap Up" hits pretty early in Season 1. Up to this point, most of the songs have been goofy, fourth-wall-breaking moments from Pinkie Pie. "Winter Wrap Up" cements MLP as a pretty purple girly show that is also occasionally a musical. And musicals are awesome.

For their first real musical production, the MLP crew does well. The melody sticks in your head, and it manages to cheer me up tidily.


5 - The Flim Flam Brothers

My Little Pony takes more than a few musical inspirations from Broadway (we've got at least one more coming up). Here, they riff on the song "(Ya Got)Trouble" from The Music Man. A pair of slick characters come to Ponyville, peddling a product guaranteed to make the smoothest cider y'all ever done tasted. As a musical number, it's really effective at being catchy and furthering the plot - a feat most musical numbers on Broadway aren't able to manage.


4 - A True True Friend

The MLP Season 3 finale jams, like, seven songs into a twenty-two minute episode. As a result... it's pretty weak. The music, though has never been better, and this song is easily the highlight. The song manages to tak a bizarre body-swapping plot and turn it into a problem that can only be solved by friendship, which is exactly the type of ridiculous, larger-than-life metaphor I love in my entertainment. Sure, it's cheesy, but it never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

Yeah, I'm kind of a wuss. Stupid horses, making me cry! Batman, punch a horse for me, please!


3 - Raise This Barn

Man, did Raffi write this? You will never, ever, EVER forget how to count to four after the song is over.

But I like the song. I really do. Applejack's probably my other favorite character (after Rarity), but she doesn't really have the same level of musical exposure. There's just a sense of unabashed fun surrounding this little hoe-down ditty. I dig it.


2 - Babs Seed

Arguably the best song in the series - even if it isn't quite my favorite. The Cutie Mark Crusaders, a trio of under-developed fillies (and that's a plot point that STILL makes me uncomfortable) have to face down a bully. They sing out their sorrows in a retro-style number, complete with a fun and fancy music video. The animation's hypnotic, and the chorus sticks in your head long after the music fades.


1 - Art of the Dress

A Sondheim-inspired musical number performed by Rarity? Yes, please!

"Winter Wrap Up" may be the first big musical number of the series, but I consider "Art of the Dress" to be the best. It's a great defining moment for a character who often comes off as one-dimensional, showing the care and deliberation she puts into every creative act. It's a number I not only enjoy listening to, but, in a way, I connect with it.

Thanks for sticking with me through the list. Yeah, it's, um, pinker than usual. As a reward... I dunno. How about Batman beating the tar out of a bear?

Yeah, that'll do.

The Absolute, Definitive List of S.R. Braddy's All-Time, Never Been Topped Favorite (for now) Movies, EVER!

I've actually been making a "Top Ten Movies" list for years. Like, literally, back in 2009 or 2010, I sat down at Village Inn and started writing up my list of favorite movies. Ranked it and everything. For some reason, though, I never got around to actually putting it up on the blog.

Well, no longer. I know I've done pretty much nothing BUT talk about movies the last few weeks, but now that one of my friends has beaten me to the punch, I can't afford to put this off a day more. So, with great pride, I present to you The Absolute, Definitive List of S.R. Braddy's All-Time, Never Been Topped Favorite (for now) Movies, EVER!

And, no, before you ask, Tangled did NOT make the cut.

10 - Penelope

Of all the movies on my list... this sure is one of them. Probably the strangest choice, too. I can't honestly explain why I'm so fond of Penelope. When I finished watching it the first time, though, I wanted to immediately pop it in the player and watch it again. That's a feeling I haven't been able to shake nor argue with.

If I HAD to give a reason, it'd probably be the cast. Especially James McAvoy and Peter Dinklage. Those two are great.

9 - The Fantastic Mr. Fox

Man, what can I say about this movie that I haven't already said? A combination of old-timey stop-motion animation, top voice acting from some real heavy hitters, and some of the sharpest writing I've ever heard in a film. It's a film that's both heavy and hilarious. Well worth a watch to anyone who hasn't seen it yet.

8 - Porco Rosso

I watched through a ton of Studio Ghibli's films recently, and loved each and every one of them (even the ones that are pretty ridiculously bad ). I may prefer the music in My Neighbor Totoro, the characers of The Secret World of Arriety, or the intensity of Spirited Away; however, for the best balance of humor, adventure, and magic, I've gotta give the top spot to Porco Rosso. Seriously, it's a beautiful pic.

7 - Psycho

What, you didn't think I just watch happy little G-rated kid movies, did you?

I knew everything about Psycho before I watched it. Everything. Every twist, every quote, every surprise. AND YET, this film STILL scared the pants off me. Good thing no one else was in the room, because then they'd have had to see me pantsless.

6 - Stranger than Fiction

Some movies you just can't evict once they've taken up residence under your skin. That's how I feel about Stranger than Fiction. From the first moment I watched it, I related to just about every character - except for maybe Emma Thompson's Karen Eiffel. I wanted to be her... which actually sounds pretty unhealthy, now that I've written that down. I mean, she's kind of a miserable person.

Still wrote a good story, though.

5 - Modern Times

Once upon a time, I hated movies. I thought they were the lowest form of entertainment, and could only be considered worthwhile if they were "intellectual" movies. Then, one day, my English professor broke out this comedy classic, and we analyzed how Chaplin's antics mirrored the anxieties of a newly industrialized society. From that point on, I realized comedy and "intellectual stimulation" could, in fact, go hand in hand. Modern Times literally changed the way I view entertainment. How could I not love it?

4 - 500 Days of Summer

I recently found out there are some people who hate this movie, especially Zooey Deschanel's character. I can't help it, though - this movie speaks to me. I've been Tom. I dated a girl whom I over-idealized, I was devastated by the break up for no good reason, and, from that misery, I made a monumental decision that's made my life a lot more work, but, ultimately a happier one. So suck on that, haters. This is my movie.

3 - The Dark Knight

I loved this movie from the moment the Joker unmasked to the ridiculous line, "The hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now" (I still don't get that). I loved the magic tricks, the coin flips, and all the crazy twists and turns the plot takes. This is still the best superhero movie - entertaining, optimistic, and yet oh-so-dark.

2 - The Prestige

"Are you watching closely?"

We've come a long way from the kiddie flicks, haven't we? The Prestige is one of the meatiest movies I've ever watched. It's packed with themes of duality, dire warnings against obsession, and the ever-frustrating juxtaposition of childlike wonder and cynicism we all face as we grow up. This movie hurts, and in a good way.

1 - Scott Pilgrim vs. The World

Look, I can't help it, okay? Like with Penelope, I wanted to watch this movie again the minute the closing credits rolled. Like with 500 Days of Summer, I felt like I was seeing an aspect of my life on the screen, only blown up and presented in a truly ridiculous fashion. Scott Pilgrim allowed me to take a look at my life, shake my head and say, "You know, I can do better than that."

Also, it let me watch Michael Cera snark with Kieron Culkin while fighting Brandon Routh, Jason Schwartzman, and Chris Evans, a thing I didn't know I needed until I had it.

Okay, so that's it - my irrefutably set-in-stone favorite movie list, and it will never ever be changed at all ever again, period.

Honorable Mentions

Lilo and Stitch
The Fountain
Hugo
Pan's Labyrinth
City Lights
The Illusionist
Casablanca
Beauty and the Beast
The Rocketeer

The 100 Most Recommended Classics

A friend of mine posted this list of top recommended books in classical literature. Enjoy.

Titles colored in blue are ones I've read.
Titles colored in red are ones I've read excerpts from.
Titles colored in green are ones which I suspect were made up, because I've never heard of them.
Titles colored in purple are Walden, which is not very good.

Novels and Short Stories

Jane Austen
•Pride and Prejudice
•British, 1813

James Baldwin
•Go Tell It on the Mountain
•American, 1953

Saul Bellow
•Seize the Day
•American, 1956

Charlotte Brontë
•Jane Eyre
•British 1847

Emily Brontë
•Wuthering Heights
•British, 1847

Albert Camus
•The Stranger
•French, 1942

Lewis Carroll
•Alice's Adventures in Wonderland
•British, 1865

Willa Cather
•My Antonia
•American, 1918

Miguel de Cervantes
•Don Quixote
•Spanish, 1605, 1617

Kate Chopin
•The Awakening
•American, 1899


Joseph Conrad
•Heart of Darkness
•British, 1902


Stephen Crane
•The Red Badge of Courage
•American, 1895

Daniel Defoe
•Robinson Crusoe
•British, 1719

Charles Dickens
•Great Expectations
•British, 1860-61

Feodor Dostoevski
•Crime and Punishment
•Russian, 1866

George Eliot
•The Mill on the Floss
•British, 1860

Ralph Ellison
•Invisible Man
•American, 1947

William Faulkner
•The Sound and the Fury
•American, 1929

Henry Fielding
•Tom Jones
•British, 1749

F. Scott Fitzgerald
•The Great Gatsby
•American, 1925

Gustave Flaubert
•Madame Bovary
•French, 1857

E.M. Forster
•A Passage to India
•British, 1924


Gabriel García Márquez
•One Hundred Years of Solitude
•Columbian, 1967

William Golding
•Lord of the Flies
•British, 1954

Thomas Hardy
•Tess of the D'Urbervilles
•British, 1891


Nathaniel Hawthorne
•The Scarlet Letter
•American, 1850

Ernest Hemingway
•A Farewell to Arms
•American, 1929

Zora Neale Hurston
•Their Eyes Were Watching God
•American, 1937

Aldous Huxley
•Brave New World
•British, 1932

Henry James
•The Turn of the Screw
•American, 1898

James Joyce
•A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
•Irish, 1916

Franz Kafka
•The Trial
•Czechoslovakian, 1925

D.H. Lawrence
•Sons and Lovers
•British, 1913

Sinclair Lewis
•Babbitt
•American, 1922

Bernard Malamud
•The Assistant
•American, 1957


Thomas Mann
•Death in Venice
•German, 1912

Herman Melville
•Moby-Dick
•American, 1851

Toni Morrison
•Sula
•American, 1973

Flannery O'Connor
•A Good Man Is Hard to Find
•American, 1955

Tillie Olsen
•Tell Me a Riddle
•American, 1956-60

George Orwell
•Animal Farm
•British, 1945


Alan Paton
•Cry, the Beloved Country
•South African, 1948

Edgar Allan Poe
•Great Tales and Poems
•American, 1839-45

J.D. Salinger
•The Catcher in the Rye
•American, 1951

Sir Walter Scott
•Ivanhoe
•British, 1820


Mary Shelley
•Frankenstein
•British, 1818

John Steinbeck
•The Grapes of Wrath
•American, 1939

Jonathan Swift
•Gulliver's Travels
•British, 1726

William Makepeace Thackeray
•Vanity Fair
•British, 1847-48

Leo Tolstoy
•War and Peace
•Russian, 1865-69

Ivan Turgenev
•Fathers and Sons
•Russian, 1862

Mark Twain
•The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn
•American, 1886

John Updike
•Rabbit, Run
•American, 1961

Voltaire
•Candide
•French, 1759

Kurt Vonnegut
•Slaughterhouse Five
•American, 1969

Alice Walker
•The Color Purple
•American, 1982

Eudora Welty
•Thirteen Stories
•American, 1965

Edith Wharton
•The Age of Innocence
•American, 1920

Virginia Woolf
•To the Lighthouse
•British, 1927

Richard Wright
•Native Son
•American, 1940

Drama

Aeschylus
•Oresteia
•Greek, 458 BCE

Aristophanes
•Lysistrata
•Greek, 411, BCE

Samuel Beckett
•Waiting for Godot
•Irish, 1952

Bertolt Brecht
•Mother Courage and Her Children
•German, 1941

Anton Chekov
•The Cherry Orchard
•Russian, 1904

Euripides
•Medea
•Greek, 431 BCE

Johann von Goethe
•Faust, Part I
•German, 1808

Henrik Ibsen
•A Doll's House
•Norwegian, 1879

Christopher Marlowe
•Doctor Faustus
•British, 1604

Arthur Miller
•Death of a Salesman
•American, 1949

Molière
•The Misanthrope
•French, 1666

Eugene O'Neill
•Desire Under the Elms
•American, 1924

William Shakespeare
•Hamlet
•British, 1600


George Bernard Shaw
•Pygmalion
•British, 1913

Sophocles
•Oedipus Rex
•Greek, 430 BCE

Oscar Wilde
•The Importance of Being Earnest
•British, 1895


Thornton Wilder
•Our Town
•American, 1938


Tennessee Williams
•The Glass Menagerie
•American, 1945

Poetry*

Allison, Alexander, Editor
•Norton Anthology of Poetry (Shorter Edition)
•British & American

Anonymous
•Beowulf
•British, c. 700

Anonymous
•Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
•British, c. 1350-1400


Geoffrey Chaucer
•Canterbury Tales
•British, 1387-1400

Dante
•Inferno
•Italian, c. 1320

Homer
•The Odyssey
•Greek, c. 9th C. BCE

John Milton
•Paradise Lost
•British, 1667

Vergil
•The Aeneid
•Italian, c. 18 BCE

Walt Whitman
•Leaves of Grass
•American, 1855

Miscellaneous

Aristotle
•Poetics
•Greek, 4th C. BCE

Saint Augustine
•Confessions
•Italian, 397-401

The Holy Bible (esp. King James Version)

Charles Darwin
•Origin of the Species
•British, 1859

Ralph Waldo Emerson
•"The American Scholar"
•American, 1837

Benjamin Franklin
•Autobiography
•American, 1771

Sigmund Freud
•Civilization and Its Discontents
•German, 1930

Edith Hamilton
•Mythology
•American, 1940

Niccolò Machiavelli
•The Prince
•Italian, 1532

Karl Marx
•Communist Manifesto
•German, 1848

Michel de Montaigne
•Selected Essays
•French, 1580

Plato
•Republic
•Greek, c. 370 BCE

Henry David Thoreau
•Walden
•American, 1854

*Apparently, there hasn't been any poet worth reading in the last 150 years.

500th Post! Braddy's Favorite Episodes of Batman: TAS

Here we are – 500 posts later, and S.R. Braddy is still blogging. Go me!

To celebrate, I wanted to stretch myself a bit. I decided I wanted to do a bit of research but still have fun. Also, I knew my anniversary post simply HAD to a bit self-indulgent. And, when I think “research,” “fun,” and “self-indulgent,” I think of the fan-fiction I wrote about the sexy adventures of Carmen Sandiego.

Well, since I’d rather not scandalize my mother, I’ll just do a rundown of my favorite episodes of Batman: the Animated Series.

Rather than doing a straight Top Ten list, I thought I’d take a different approach. Here, I’m running down the top episodes for each of the main villains, a pretty exhausting chore. See, Batman has one of the all-time greatest rogue galleries, and as a result there are a LOT of great villain episodes. I recommend taking a bathroom break now, since we’ve got a lot to get through.


Best Man-Bat Episode: “On Leather Wings”

Hah! Like anyone really cares about Man-Bat. Still, the first episode of the series is one of the best of the show ever saw. This episode features probably the best display of the series’s trademark dark animated style. Also, I think it’s the only episode where Batman actually gets bloodied up.


Best Mr. Freeze Episode: “Heart of Ice”

Batman: TAS famously added a tragic backstory to Mr. Freeze’s otherwise one-note character. That story is deftly and beautifully portrayed in this standout episode from the series. Mr. Freeze’s character is never quite as interesting as he is in this episode. Still, this story rocks.


Best Clayface Episode: “Growing Pains”

Clayface is one of the few Batman supervillains who actually possess super powers. Usually, super villains don’t have a lot of depth to them; they’re mainly showcased for their ability to go a couple of rounds with the hero before biting the mat. In “Growing Pains,” however, we see Clayface as the catalyst for a real tragic story. You don’t usually come to Batman for heartache, but here you get it, and it’s pretty delicious.


Best Killer Croc Episode: “Sideshow”

You know, I’m a big fan of some of the more underrated Batman villains. Killer Croc is… not one of them. He’s got no depth – he’s just a thug (with some possible cannibalistic tendencies). Still, “Sideshow” tells the only compelling story you can tell with such a one-note character, where the crook finally gets a shot at redemption. SPOILER WARNING – he blows it.


Best Poison Ivy Episode: “House and Garden”

Another character I don’t care for much is given the star-class treatment in “House and Garden.” Poison Ivy just wants to lead a normal life. Of course, the words “Poison Ivy” and “wife and mother” don’t really go together all that well. This episode’s probably got one of the creepiest twists of any in the series.


Best Harley Quinn Episode: “Mad Love”

It’d be hard to deny (from a character history standpoint) that Harley Quinn is the most enduring legacy of Batman: TAS. She was originally created to be just another Joker henchperson, but, since the show ended, Harley’s become a major character in the comic world as well, often appearing on her own without the Joker. Personally, I feel that, if you remove the Joker from Harley’s story, you take out a key part of what makes Harley so fascinating. Watch this episode, and I think you’ll get that.

Actually, just about EVERY Harley episode is worth watching. She’s the breakout character of the series for a reason.


Best Two Face Episode: “Two Face”

Anyone who talks about Batman: TAS will tell you that the series did a bang-up job introducing the character Two Face. District Attorney Harvey Dent appears in several episodes before his tragic fall – heck, he’s even the victim once. The two-part “Two Face” arc is pretty intense stuff for a children’s show – which is probably why it’s so well-loved.


Best Penguin Episode: “Birds of a Feather”

I like the “idea” of the Penguin more often than the execution… usually. This story hits all the right spots and tells what I consider to be the perfect Penguin story. Penguin’s aristocracy is little more than a delusion, and, when that delusion is called into question, he turns violently vengeful.


Best Scarface Episode: “Read My Lips”

Another underrated villain, the puppet Scarface is played exactly right in the cartoon. His first appearance demonstrates exactly what makes him such a great character – he’s calculating and brilliant, despite his odd appearance. Also, the conclusion, where the Ventriloquist stabs a scar into a new puppet’s face, is disturbing in the best way possible.


Best Mad Hatter Episode: “Perchance to Dream”

Technically, I just gave away the twist ending to a twenty-year-old cartoon. Sorry. But there’s no doubt about it – “Perchance to Dream” is the greatest Mad Hatter story, possibly ever. The villain will stop at nothing to get Batman out of his hair – even if it means giving his archenemy everything he ever wanted.


Best Ra’s al Ghul Episode: “Showdown”

Batman’s barely even IN this episode! Instead, we get a flashback to a scene from Ra’s al Ghul’s past, where he goes toe-to-toe with a great underrated DC character, Jonah Hex (who’s a lot better than the movie made him out to be, by the way). This episode shows us not only Ra’s al Ghul’s eternal villainy, but his family side as well.


Best Scarecrow Episode: “Nothing to Fear”

Scarecrow’s probably one of the greatest Batman villains ever, but he rarely makes as big an impact as he should in the animated series. “Nothing to Fear” takes the top spot, if only because it gives us one of Batman’s most defining moments – “I am vengeance! I am the night! I am BATMAN!”

Seriously, yell that to yourself in the mirror before you go jogging, and those hills won’t give you NO guff.


Best Riddler Episode: “Riddler’s Reform”

Like Scarecrow, the Riddler is a potentially great character who didn’t really ever shine in Batman: TAS (although he LOOKS better than he ever did anywhere else). “Riddler’s Reform” is his only real highlight episode, where his obsession with conquering Batman ultimately destroys the happy life he is building for himself.


Best Catwoman Episode: “You Scratch My Back”

I’m not sure: do people actually LIKE Catwoman? I mean, someone has to – her costume’s always a hit at parties, and they’ve made a movie about… actually, let’s not bring the movie up. I think Catwoman gets more misses than hits, but “You Scratch My Back” shows the potential of the character, as she uses her charm to split up Team Batman for her own benefit.


Best Joker Episode: “Joker’s Favor”

If anyone ever needs an explanation of why the Joker is one of the best cartoon villains of all time, they should watch this episode. The Joker extorts a favor from an ordinary Joe and then keeps tabs on him for YEARS before cashing in. “Joker’s Favor” highlights the madman’s propensity for complex planning as well as his reliance on (seeming) chaos. This episode’s a personal favorite.

OKAY, I FELT LIKE INCLUDING A FEW MORE HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE SERIES:


Best Original Villain (Who Isn’t Harley Quinn): Kyodai Ken

Batman: TAS introduced a lot of new villains. The one I liked the most (aside from Harley) is a ninja whose vendetta is against Bruce Wayne himself, not Batman. Kyodai Ken knows who Batman is, and that knowledge proves to be his most effective weapon, as Bruce Wayne has to hold back during their fight to avoid exposing his secret.


Best Music: “A Bullet for Bullock”

As far as I’m concerned, Batman: the Animated Series has the best soundtrack of any children’s show, ever (suck it, Thundercats theme). Every villain has his or her own theme that subtly intensifies the action of a given scene. None of those themes are featured in “A Bullet for Bullock,” but the cool jazz definitely sets this episode apart from the others. I watch it just to listen, and I love it.


Best Alfred Episode: “The Lion and the Unicorn”

Alfred’s one of my favorite characters. No, really – I LOVE this guy. He’s a former secret service agent for British intelligence, and how does he spend his retirement? He’s Batman’s butler. Between this episode, which gives us just a glimpse of Alfred’s past, and the Poison Ivy episode where we meet Alfred’s girlfriend, I realized I’d probably read a whole BOOK about Alfred, the Bat Butler.


Best Batman Episode: “The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy”

This is probably the strangest choice on my list, but, if you ask me to show you what episode best shows Batman being Batman, it’s this one. Batman lays a truly elaborate plan to capture a criminal, one which requires Batman to put himself at great personal risk. He does it all, because he’s Batman, and there’s no way one silly little thug is going to get the best of HIM. There are definitely better episodes out there, but no other shows the cunning brainwork that goes in to being Gotham’s protector like “The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy.”

And now, just for fun: My five favorite episodes, presented without commentary.

• 5 – “Trial”
• 4 – “Baby Doll”
• 3 – “Joker’s Favor”
• 2 – “Almost Got ‘Im”
• 1 – “Beware the Gray Ghost”

Braddy's Dream Roles

The Les Mis buzz I posted about yesterday got me thinking about my life on the stage, as it were. Actually, I've been to see a lot of plays and performances recently, so theatre's been on my mind quite a bit. You know what? I kinda miss it.

It's been over a year since the last time I was on stage in a professional production. I've been doing improv with the Jesters Royale regularly since then, and it's been a blast, but it's not quite the same as spending hours in rehearsal, sweating over lines, and getting into arguments with the costumer.

Hm. Not exactly a pretty picture, is it? Trust me - it's better than it sounds.

I won't be able to do a show of any kind for several months at least - maybe longer. Still, I'm already dreaming of the limelight again. And, while I'm dreaming, I might as well fantasize about some roles I'd LOVE to play - even though I'm PROBABLY not the best choice for any of them.


Benedick, Much Ado About Nothing

If there's one role I'm TOTALLY suited for, it's this one. I'm not exactly the strongest Shakespearean actor, but I love the Bard and MOST of his works (I'm of the opinion that Hamlet is overrated - see below). Much Ado About Nothing is far and away my favorite Shakespeare play. I sympathize quite a bit with Benedick, the belligerently single soldier who secretly longs for someone to understand him...

That was... a bit more revealing than I'd intended. Let's move on.


Jamie Wellerstein, The Last 5 Years

I first heard "The Schmuel Song" nearly ten years ago without any idea of where it came from. When my friend Carolyn sat me down and played The Last Five Years for me, I about punched holes in the ceiling, I was so excited.

This is a true "dream" role - I don't quite have the range to hit Jamie's highest notes. Also, I'm not Jewish. But the story of a struggling author who hits it big (and subsequently lets his life go to crap) touches me, and I'd love a chance to tell his story on stage.


Rosencrantz, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead

Truthfully, I'd take just about any role in this production. Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead is one of the finest plays ever written. It's funny without ever getting too silly and thought-provoking without ever getting too heavy. Tom Stoppard single-handedly justified the existence of Hamlet, as far as I'm concerned.

Now, I'd probably do a better job of portraying the more straight-laced, analytical Guildenstern, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't prefer the goofier Rosencrantz rants. And by "lying," I mean "lying in a box with a lid on it."



Javert, Les Miserables
Chauvelin, The Scarlet Pimpernel

There's just something about playing an uptight police officer during the French Revolution that appeals to me...

No question - Javert is one of the finest roles in all of musical theater. His dogged persecution of the criminal Jean Valjean never falters, drawing strength from his unshakable conviction that he is right. The instant it appears he may be incorrect, his world shatters - making his a truly tragic tale. His music's pretty good, too.

Chauvelin's pretty similar to Javert. What he lacks in moral complexity, he more than makes up for in just darn good music. "Falcon in the Dive" is probably one of my favorite Broadway numbers - it's dramatic and over-the-top in all the right ways.

(poster by Manelle Oliphant Miller, who is awesome)

Mortimer Brewster, Arsenic and Old Lace

Maybe I'm cheating a little bit here. I have, after all, already done this role at the Empress Theater. The thing is, Arsenic and Old Lace is the best producion I've ever been involved in and Mortimer Brewster my favorite role I've ever played. I would LOVE to do it all again.

Especially after a couple more years of improv comedy training. My ability to do physical comedy has increased quite a bit since the summer of 2009. I'm still no Carey Grant, but I think I could actually do the part justice now.

So that's my list. Theater folks, what are YOUR favorite/dream roles?