Braddy Cries a Single Tear for This Poor, Fallen World

Last summer I picked up a novel called The Thirteenth Tale. I'd had my eyes on this book for a long time - something about the cover design just caught my attention and wouldn't let it go.


When I finally read the book... well, it's a new favorite of mine. A reclusive book collector named Margaret is commissioned to write the biography of eccentric novelist Vida Winters. While composing the material she will turn into Vida's last book, Margaret stays at the mansion where Vida has gone into seclusion. Both Margaret and Vida lost a twin sister early in their lives, and each is haunted by their twin's absence as though by an actual ghost. The twins' presence can be felt all throughout the mansion and even follow Margaret when she travels into the English countryside to visit Vida's childhood home.

Between the giant, empty mansion and the omnipresent ghosts, the book feels a lot like Wuthering Heights.

And I mean that in a good way. Personally, I've always liked Wuthering Heights. It's not my favorite book, but it's a heck of a lot better than drivel like Jane Eyre, which every effin' high school kid is forced to read under threat of receiving a failing English grade. Some kids very wisely choose to fail anyway.

Anyway, though, Wuthering Heights is pretty good. And The Thirteenth Tale is exactly the kind of book to excite interest in a classic work of literature like Wuthering Heights. If only there was some way to reignite people’s interest in literature of this nature. If only SOMETHING could help young people see just how great a good book can...

Wait, what is this crap?! "Bella and Edward's Favorite Book"?!?!

No. No way. Shoot my effin' eyeballs out. This isn’t worth it.

Disney + Marvel = Hardcore Brilliance

Big news in the nerd-world: Disney bought out Marvel Comics. A lot of people seem to be worried, for some reason, that Disney is somehow going to “ruin” the superhero comics. As for me… well, I’m not sure.

I’ll admit the idea of a Disney-owned Marvel Comics really got my imagination fired up. I SHOULD have spent the day yesterday working on my lines for Arsenic and Old Lace (opening September 11 at the Empress Theatre. Purchase tickets at http://empresstheatre.com). Instead, though, I started hammering out story ideas which would inevitably result from the union of the House of Ideas and the House of Mouse.

Frankly, I think there’s a lot of potential here. For example:

The stress of leading a double life has finally broken Peter Parker’s spirit, and he retires the mask of Spider Man… perhaps forever. However, a chance encounter with a rising starlet may inspire Peter to accept who he his – both sides. Hannah Montana guest stars! Spider Man: Best of Both Worlds.

Peace continues to elude Bruce Banner, who escapes to Hawaii in search of a more relaxing environment. But when a sudden alien invasion brings out the green giant, it’s up to the ever-volatile Experiment #626 to bring him back to his senses. Can Stitch save the Earth from the Hulk’s rampage and teach Banner the true meaning of family? Find out in The Incredible Hulk: Ohana.

The woods were a peaceful place. However, this winter, all that changes with the arrival of drug runner Viggo Panarelli and the ruthless vigilante chasing him. As the snow piles up, the two men must battle the cold, wild animals, and the threat of starvation. Their violent feud will tear the forest apart… and the mystery of who killed Bambi’s mother will finally be revealed in The Punisher: Twitterpated.

(Wish I could take credit for this next one… unfortunately, it was actually Dax’s idea. Jerk)

Life looks good for the Senior Class of East High School… that is, until Troy’s skin turns purple and Sharpay suddenly grows gills. Now ostracized by their former friends, the two make a new home for themselves at a very different kind of school. Meanwhile, Gabriella struggles with her feelings for Troy and wonders if she can stay true. Come and sing along with your favorite teen idols as they learn to cope with the changes life brings in Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters: The Musical.

October 31, 2010: Notorious vampire hunter Blade awakens in a strange, demonic world, populated by creatures straight from his darkest nightmares. Now he fights to eradicate them before they can bridge the gap between their world and Earth. Little does he know that the very existence of the Earth depends on the continued existence of this terrifying realm. Now it’s up to Jack Skellington to bring the Daywalker to his senses in Blade: This is Halloween.

Cruella De Ville returns with a vengeance! Now that she owns the Dalmation Plantation, all hope seems lost. Desperately, Patch heads out into the great big world, looking for help… and he finds a most unexpected hero! You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and you’ll claw your pillow in excitement as you read Wolverine: Dalmation Salvation.

Deep in uncharted space, the mad titan Thanos schemes to once again reunite the powerful Infinity Gems and establish himself as the supreme ruler of the universe. The only hope lies with an elite cadre of Space Rangers and their fearless leader – the inestimable Buzz Lightyear. Their battle will take the Rangers to the very edge and back! Find out more in Buzz Lightyear: Beyond Infinity.

His marriage to the magical princess Giselle seems to be rapidly deteriorating, so Robert turns to an old friend from law school to negotiate the divorce. Little does he know that the man he hired is the Man Without Fear! Now Matt Murdock finds his attention divided between helping his friend and tackling the latest machinations of arch-villain The Kingpin! Can true love prevail in Daredevil: Happily Ever After?

You know, I’m actually holding back. I didn’t even get into my Ghost Rider/Cars crossover. Honestly, though, stories like these could actually be good for both Disney and Marvel – provided no one took them TOO seriously (as we nerds are so prone to do). Let me ask you: What other Disney/Marvel crossovers would you like to see?