Confessions: Beard Bother

I swore I'd never be one of those guys, but I can't help it anymore: I'm kinda in love with my own beard.

Facial hair is pretty cool. It keeps your face warm in the winter and just makes you look like an all-round more rugged individual. However, as with most things, facial hair comes with its own irritations.

• Okay, yeah, so facial hair keeps you warm, but it also collects all that moisture you exhale, so you wind up with some nice lip-densation.
  
  Portmanteaus are hard


• Have you ever gotten your beard caught in a zipper? Mine's not even that long, and I still have problems.


• Turns out that moustaches are pretty good at catching things other than exhalations. I've taken to eating with a utensil in one hand and a napkin in the other, just to keep my face clean.


• Did you know that hair falls out? It's true. When facial hair falls out, it lands either (1)on your tongue, or (2) in your cereal bowl. Every time.


• It will never not be sweet to have a beard to stroke while thinking.

Why I'm Still Single 20

Okay, so my "beard" isn't NEARLY that epic. I was told yesterday, though, that, with my newfound ruggedness, now is the time for me to go huntin' for love.

Follicle Fallacies

I think I've decided to grow a beard. I usually do something unusual after a show ends, and, now that Damn Yankees has ended, I guess it's beard time.

This is a stupid decision, and history proves it.

See, I had to grow a beard once before - back in 2009, when I was in a western-themed production of Taming of the Shrew. I kept a photo log of how well the beard grew in, and I was... well, less than pleased with the results.

Week 2 of beard growth started off promisingly enough, except for one major deficiency:


There's a little patch on the left side of my face where hair just doesn't grow. It winds up looking kinda silly.

See?

I guess, when it grew in thick enough, it looked all right. I got kinda lazy and just didn't trim it up like I should.

And then... THIS happened:

Absolutely HATED the moustache/coffee saver combo. I looked like a total hick.

Okay, so total hick kinda WAS what we were going for. And even I must admit that the costume for the show was pretty killer. Still, the moustache just straight up looked TERRIBLE on me outside of my cowboy hat and boots.

So, yeah, the show ended, and I decided it was time to do something dramatic with my hair. The decision was a pretty easy one to make: lose the 'stache.

Even so, I managed to make one pretty stupid decision:

DOUCHE!!!

So, yeah, I'll try the beard thing again, if y'all promise to let me know if I start to looke like a spouse-abuser.