Lost Drinking Game

Admittedly, I’m, like, six years behind everyone else. I’m working my way through Lost, borrowing each of the individual seasons from friends and relatives. I’m just about done with Season 5 now, and I have to say, it’s pretty good. I don’t know that I’ll really need to go back and watch the whole thing over again, but I like it so far. A lot of how much I’ll like the series as a whole will depend on how the series ends, but I won’t spend a whole lot of time worrying about that right now (especially since most of you probably already know what happens).

Here’s what I have noticed about Lost, though: it’s predictable. Not necessarily plot-wise – I get the feeling that the show’s creators worked very hard to keep us all guessing. So, yeah, you may not get the EXACT plot twist, but I can guarantee you can see the twist coming. And you may actually be able to predict the exact type of twist that’s coming – so much so that you could probably make a drinking game out of it. Now, I don’t drink, but, if I did, this’d probably get me sloshed pretty quick.

So here’s my set of rules for the “Lost Drinking Game.” Simply take a shot every time:

1. A character is revealed to have “daddy-issues.”

2. A character takes his or her shirt off
a. Take two shots if it’s Sawyer.

3. One character from the plane shows up in someone ELSE’S flashback.
a. Take two shots if the cameo results in some “unexpected relationship” between the two.

4. Benjamin Linus forgets to blink during a take.
a. You can also take a drink if it’s Ethan Rom that forgets.

5. Sayid has a completely out-of-character romance.

6. A new character is introduced with the name of a famous philosopher.

7. A character says any variation of “You don’t know me!” followed by a flashback of that character doing something mildly to moderately despicable.
a. Take two shots if the despicable act is completely despicable.
b. Take two shots if the character is Sawyer.
i. Take four shots if the character is Sawyer and the act is completely despicable.

8. Every time a parent watches as his or her child is threatened/kidnapped/killed.

9. Someone gets sucker-punched.
a. Take two shots if the character that got attacked just agreed to help the person that attacked him or her.

10. A gross-looking baby gets born.

That last one actually happens quite a bit. Seriously, they show women giving birth ALL THE TIME in Lost – Claire, Locke’s mom, Sun – and it’s always disgusting. They don’t romanticize it one bit.

You wanna teach abstinence-only education? Make your kids watch Lost. That’ll fix ‘em.