Obligatory Dating Rant

I got to church a little early yesterday for choir practice, so I sat on a nearby couch, pulled out a book, and started reading. As I sat there, another young man – a member of the singles ward with me – sat nearby and struck up a conversation. We exchanged the usual pleasantries – the how-are-yous and such. Not even a full minute into our dialog, this man – and I haven’t mentioned him by name, not to protect his identity, but because I don’t actually KNOW who he is – asks me if I’ve had any luck “finding anyone.” I’m a little confused at this point, and I say so.

“You know,” he says, “to marry.”

I laugh – because frankly I don’t know what else to do. Apparently, to this guy, it’s more important to determine my “relationship status” than to learn my name. And that’s offensive.

See, I’ve recently decided that it’s not actually “dating” that I hate. I’ve had several dating-related experiences over the past year – some of which may actually be considered dates. The ones that weren’t enjoyable were offensive only in that they were forgettable – and that’s hardly a condemnation. I had no traumatizing experiences from the actual ACT of dating.

But I continue to see an attitude – especially among young, single Mormons – that being “single” is somehow “wrong.” For some, it may be. Heck, I think I’d say that it may be “wrong” for ME – I’ve been pretty vocal about how dedicated I HAVEN’T been to the whole dating scene. However, to say that an entire demographic is somehow out of sync because of an undesirable marital status simply bothers me.

My singles ward meets at 1:00 in the afternoon every Sunday. It always has. I overheard someone in my ward postulate that we meet so late so that we are “out of the way” of the other wards. And I think THAT’S the statement that’s really got my ire up. Just because I’m single, I’m not somehow “other” from the rest of the community. Still, the attitude persists that single-ness is an awkward, uncomfortable condition that should be pitied, and that’s an attitude that makes me… speechless.

Seriously, my ten fingers, which are normally fairly eloquent when given a keyboard, typewriter, or pen, are having a lot of difficulty figuring out exactly how to elaborate on how comments like that make me feel. Well, maybe only nine of my fingers, because I’ve still got one that’s quick to pipe up and let everyone know EXACTLY what I think about that.