About this time of year every year, I start to wonder if there are any movies I should be looking forward to. Usually, I'm not able to come up with anything - I don't follow movie news quite as closely as I maybe should. Even now, in the golden age of superhero movies (a genre I SHOULD love), I have a hard time getting excited. Unless Captain America actually punches out Hitler, I don't think I'll care.
However, even in the worst of movie draughts, I'm usually able to say, "Well, at least there will be a new Pixar movie this year."
Sadly, that's no longer the case.
Most of the time, if a sequel to a franchise I don't like is announced, I'm pretty good at letting it slide. Why should I CARE that they're making Scary Movie 17? With Pixar, though, things are differed. I love Pixar, and, while I don't have the same level of reverence for the company that it seems most people do I genuinely feel Pixar consistently turns out better animation than just about everyone else in the business. Even when I DON'T care about the story presented, I usually find SOMETHING worthwhile to take away.
Take, for example, Up. I didn't like Up at all - the characters were overly silly, a lot of the jokes fell flat, and (to the surprise of no one who knows me) I hated that frickin' dog. You're welcome to disagree with me, but just know that it is an irrefutable scientific fact that any mainstream movie that turns to Star Wars jokes for humor is creatively crippled, so you're probably wrong.
That said, I don't regret seeing Up. In my (admittedly limited) experience, the opening 15 or so minutes of Up make up one of the most moving moments in animated history and, quite frankly, were worth the price of the movie ticket all on their own. From that point on, though, the movie kinda fell flat.
So, yeah, even in the weakest Pixar movies, there's usually something of value.
But Cars? Cars felt like two hour of watching some kid play with those stupid toys Chevron featured in their commercials. I'm surprised the movie didn't feature more billboards hawking "Techron" as the pinnacle of fine dining.
There are lots of problems with the movie Cars:
- Larry the Cable Guy is not funny (though to be fair, this IS the best thing he's ever done).
- Lightning McQueen, or whatever the heck the main car-acter's (get it?) name is, is NOT likeable.
- There's a love story in a movie about cars. The cars fall in love. The CARS are in LOVE. Even Herbie would likely be disturbed by that.
- Remember that family of cars that got lost in the desert? Remember how they had little kid cars? Have you ever wanted to know how anthropomorphic motorized vehicles reproduce? Now that you've asked the question, is your life better for it? Didn't think so.
- How the heck does a world populated entirely by cars come into existence? Was there some kind of holocaust that wiped out all the people that originally BUILT the cars? If so, why aren't we watching that movie? (And why wasn't THIS movie called The Terminator?)
- How are there little insect cars flying around? What sort of mad scientist would create insect cars? And, again, why aren't we watching THAT movie?
Now they're making a sequel - Cars 2: This Time, We've Got SPIES. Judging from the trailer, the sequel's sole connection with the first movie is that it's got the same two main characters. The setting's different, the supporting cast is different, the THEMES are completely different... they might as well have made a brand-new movie with completely different characters (TELL me you wouldn't love to see Pixar do a real secret-agent movie in the same vein as The Incredibles).
Actually, now that I think about it, maybe Pixar should make a series of spy-themed car movies. Then we could look forward to seeing movies like Driver's License to Kill and The Living Headlights on the big screen.
It seems that, nowadays, Pixar is mostly concerned with franchising already-existing properties... which is fine, I guess, as long as they can continue to tell good stories. The Toy Story sequels, if you ask me, are pretty weak, and Cars... man, that just sucks. I'd rather see a hundred ambitious failures than just one sequel to Cars, no matter how pretty the animation.
No matter how pretty a movie LOOKS (and Pixar will make Cars 2 pretty), it won't be worth the price of admission if the story sucks *cough*.
6 comments:
Improbable story-line aside, I think you missed the point, which is pure unadulterated entertainment for CHILDREN. Children don't have the capacity to over-analyze movies to death like adults do. They like the stupid little catch phrases like "kachow!" and the funny way Mater talks. A kid can use their imagination to turn anything into a fairy tale world that is relateable to them, e.g. cars that talk and have families.
But I digress, I freakin HATE kid movies and almost refuse to see them with my daughter on principle...I know, I'm a horrible mother...good thing her dad will take her to see that crap. She will crack-up at stuff while I sit straight faced. She laughs at all the stupid jokes.
Yay! Someone who agrees with me about 'Up!' I was beginning to think it WAS my finger that I had smashed all to hell in the stroller a few minutes before the movie started was effecting my judgement. Also, I like dem little insect cars. Dey iz coot.
Oh Stephen, once again you overanalyze something that is meant to be simple. Cars isn't supposed to make sense. It's a story about living cars. There's no such thing a car that is alive (unless you count KIT, which I don't) that's why it can be completley ridicuous with baby cars and cars that are actually bugs. Because they don't exist in real life. And there never will be living breathing cars in real life. Calm down!
I agree with you on Up, I love the first little bit but the rest of the movie I slept through.
You don't go to movies for sheer dumb enjoyment and escapism, do you?
Although your argument is well thought out and well presented you're making mountains out of mole-hills my friend. They're kid's movies-not to be dissected, analyzed, and over thought.
I don't understand how people can love crap like Wall-E and HATE Up. Up was great. Such a sweet story.
You missed the whole point of that story: You will find the friendship you need in the most unlikely of places. Stop taking yourself so seriously and maybe you'll start enjoying these movies like everyone else. :)
Steven, I have to say I am with you on this one 100%. What is happening to Pixar?? Maybe their good people moved over to do Tangled. That was so good.
Hmm...I don't like very many Pixar movies to begin with. Cars is worst than most. I completely feel that making children AND adults enjoy the show should be the goal. And, yeah, the premise should make much more sense. My brother brought up the fact that there are corn fields in the movie. I guess that the corn was for...environmentally friendly corn oil engines? There's enough cartoon junk on tv (these days) that parents end up watching because their little kid likes it. It shouldn't happen with movies too.
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