Trivialities: Weekend Updates

1 - I didn't sleep well at all last week, and, by Friday, I was absolutely exhausted. Slept only three hours the night before. I actually wound up leaving work about an hour after I got in. I wouldn't have gone in at all if I weren't the one who was supposed to unlock the office. Bleagh.

Anyway, I went home, grabbed a blanket and a pillow, and curled up on the couch with one of my favorite movies on, carefully selected because, even though I love it, I knew it would bore me to sleep right away:


Hey, it's a beautiful movie to watch, but not really to listen to. I slept through the whole darn thing, and it was a lovely, lovely time.

2 - Even after all that sleep deprivation, I couldn't shirk my duties to the improv team. I went out to the Empress Theatre on Friday, where I emceed the show. We had a darn solid performance.

At the end of the night, I had the players perform a game of Double Blind Freeze Tag. Two players perform a short scene. The MC then yells "Freeze," and the actors have to hold their positions. Another player steps in, tags out one of the two players in the scene, and takes his or her pose. Those players then start a new scene based on the poses of the scene that just ended. It's pretty darn fun.

Right out of the gate, two of our performers did this high-energy scene where a football game devolved into a fistfight. Their scene ended with the players on the ground, one nearly straddling the other. The next player to step in (one of the team's female players) hesitated. You could almost see her brain going, trying to think of a way she could step in and start a new scene without violating the theatre's "family friendly" policy. At last, she tagged out the player on top, got down and the ground, and then immediately stood up and said:

"That's how you do pushups."

I laughed so hard I fell out of my seat. Heck, I wasn't even sitting down. I had to SIT down, and THEN I fell out of my seat. The other guy in the scene (once he composed himself) followed up with:

"I learned that completely differently in P.E."

3 - I don't swim. I took swimming lessons when I was younger, but I've pretty much forgotten how to swim since then. I almost never go swimming at all anymore, mainly because no one really needs to see me without a shirt on.

Above: Not Me

So why I went to a church pool party on Saturday is even beyond me.

I spent most of the time sitting in the shade, chatting with some of the other guys who didn't want to get in the water and working on a new sketch (forthcoming). After several hours, I got my stuff together and went to go. Just as I was doing so, I saw a couple of young ladies cannonball into the pool (now nearly empty) and splash a couple of innocent poolside sitters.

That... shoulda been my first warning.

Anyway, just as I was on my way out, one of the girls called me over and said she just wanted to talk. She was late to the party, so she missed all the swimming and socializing and whatnot. Then she said, "You have really nice veins. Let me see," and she reached for my hand, which... REALLY?

Of course, I fell for it, and only just saved myself from getting dragged into the pool. Not that it mattered. The other girl swam up and started splashing at me, and, at that point, there wasn't much else to do but empty my pockets, take off my shoes, and jump in.

The drive home was wet, but what else can you do when two pretty young ladies beckon you to jump in the water? Stuff your ears with cotton?

Sirens... man...

#lameclassicalreference