An Inauspicious Start

Dear 2011,

I usually look forward to the arrival of a new year with a great deal of hope and optimism. I make all sorts of resolutions and vow that my relationship with the coming year will be a good one. To this day I maintain correspondence with some earlier years, thinking about how good times have been.

However, the first impression you made has left me feeling a little cold - and that's not simply due to the faulty heater in my apartment.

I awoke this morning to prepare for work as usual. Upon heading out to my car, I saw the trunk had been opened. I'll admit to experiencing a bit of dread at that moment. I closed the trunk, opened the door to the car, and, sure enough, I had been robbed.

I advise all my passengers to not leave anything valuable in my car, as my car doors don't lock. Unfortunately, I myself tend to be a bit forgetful, so I had accidentally left some new clothes I had just purchased on the backseat, which are now in the possession of some ruffian (see attached photograph).


Above: Some Ruffian.

I would not usually be so upset about this - I figure if someone steals from me, they may actually be in greater need of the stolen items than I am. However, this ruffian showed a bit more cheek than most of the ruffians I've encountered - he left a note on the front seat that said, "Merry Christmas."

Now, I understand that you're new to this whole "year" thing, so I'm willing to forgive this first trespass. However, just know that I'll be watching you VERY carefully from here on in.

Regards,
S.R. Braddy