Geek Shame

Please be sure to don appropriate eyewear before reading.

Last night I somehow got involved in a conversation between a couple of Dune aficionados. A young woman passing by overheard the discussion and got excited. She hadn't heard of Dune, but she's been on the lookout for a new sci-fi obsession since Battlestar Galactica ended. So she listened to the conversation with interest, but you could tell there was something stopping her from expressing her enthusiasm.

Turns out she was EMBARRASSED to be seen discussing sci-fi in public.

Huh.

It's funny how some hobbies people are free to discuss in public, while others... well, I've never seen a conversation about The Lord of the Rings that ended with two people having a deepened understanding for each other unless they were already wearing elf ears.

The thing I find funny about "geek interests" is that they capture the imaginations of thousands and thousands of people, but if one were to express interest in the latest entry in the Robert Jordan's Wheel of Time series he or she would likely be greeted with plaster grins and face an immediate decline in social standing.


I'll be the first to admit that learning the names of the American presidents is probably SLIGHTLY more important than learning to name by sight all the aliens in the Cantina scene from the first Star Wars movie. That said, though, is there really any interest out there that is so frivolous that it IMMEDIATELY renders its subscribers socially unfit for conversation.

While it's true that not everyone wants to discuss the minute yet significant differences between different breeds of Pokémon, most self-proclaimed "geeks" have enough self-awareness to KNOW when a topic of conversation has overstayed its welcome - at least going by what this chart says:


For the record, I consider myself a geek - though I admit to dancing more than occasionally on that pink line right next to "Nerd." I make no apologies for liking the things I do - in fact, I'd say my life is actually quite a bit better for what I choose to indulge in.

And, truthfully, I see a lot of other interests that aren't strictly "geeky" but demand the same level of interest and attention from their participants. And, really, they're not that different from the types of activities "geeks" participate in.

• If you have ever painted your chest or face for a sporting event, you have participated in cosplay. YOU ARE A GEEK, and shall be shunned


• If you have ever indulged in Fantasy Football, you'd find those skills are likely transferable to selecting a killer Pokémon line up. YOU ARE A GEEK, and shall be shunned.


• If you have ever fantasized about getting swept off your feet by Fitzwilliam Darcy, you have just indulged in some self-insert fan-fiction. YOU ARE A GEEK, and shall be shunned.


• If you can easily insert a quote from Arrested Development into daily conversation, then that's one more thing you have in common with Monty Python fans. YOU ARE A GEEK, and shall be shunned.


• If you own a complete television series on DVD, you have shown that you're about as completist as any Lost fanatic. YOU ARE A GEEK, and shall be shunned.


• If you spend an hour or more playing Farmville, Bejeweled, or even Solitaire, you're not that much different from your neighbor and his level 56 Night Elf Hunter. YOU ARE A GEEK, and shall be shunned.


• If you've ever looked down on someone for not liking/not being aware of your favorite band, know that there's someone just as appalled that you never saw Howl's Moving Castle. YOU ARE A GEEK, and shall be shunned.

Now, since everyone is shunning everyone else, maybe I'll finally have time to finish playing through Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion before the sequel comes out.