De-Mystifying Dating: The Commitment Conundrum

Ours is the blandest love the world has ever known.

Even though I tend to look at dating the same way most people look at an unknown substance stuck to the bottom of their shoe, the concerns of the "Great Unattached Generation" still command a lot of interest from me, mainly when it comes to courtship etiquette and rituals. I've been even more preoccupied with the dating question, especially since everyone from my roommate to my dad, from my ecclesiastical leaders to my court-ordered therapist seems to think that I'm not socializing enough (I honestly don't know WHERE they get that idea - after all, I've been on a date in the last six months, and that should be enough for anyone). Anyway, with so much... shall we say subtle encouragement to re-enter the dating scene, I decided to attend a presentation offered by my church group on the subject, "De-Mistifying Dating."

Let me first say that, despite the onslaught of sarcasm and verbal eye-rolling that is about to ensue, I respect both the workshop coordinators and all its attendees. Of course, respect never got a giggle out of anyone, so let the mockery commence!

Before the presentation actually began, we were all given a large booklet entitled "The Dating Diner Menu," which... Man I hate food metaphors. I find them demeaning to all parties involved. I'm plagiarising myself a bit here, but if romance were REALLY like going to a restaurant, a person would be able to sit down, snap for a waiter, and say, "Yes, I'll have a tall brunette, curly-haired with good housekeeping skills. Hold the career aspirations."

That person would be sexist, and he would terrible.

"The Dating Menu" contains a huge list of ideas for different dating activities, some of them legit, some a little silly, and one that's... well...

"Blindfold your date and drive around so he/she loses track of where you are. Go somewhere unfamiliar (like a friends [sic] attic or basement), take the blindfold off and have your date. This could be a dinner that you have prepared in advance, watch a movie, play games, etc. Blindfold your date and take him/her home. Your date will have no idea where he/she has been for a few hours."

Heck, if THAT'S your goal...

I almost forgot to mention - as part of this workshop, the coordinators had us all stand up, pair off, and play the "Pass the Orange" game. You know the one - one person holds an orange under his chin and has to pass it to his partner using only his chin. Yeah, THAT one. And they roped in most of the attendees at the workshop to participate (including one particular young man who really hates being touched). The IDEA was to show that physical intimacy doesn't necessarily imply a committed emotional relationship. I learned that necking yields sweet fruit, which is an odd lesson for a church group to try and pass on.

That awkwardness aside, let's actually get to the POINT of this post. One of the questions raised during the workshop was, "At what point should you move from dating around with a person to dating exclusively?" There were a lot of opinions thrown around, of course. One person suggested a five-date minimum. Another person tried to be the voice of reason and say "it's different for everyone." Surprisingly, the workshop coordinators admitted that they were not an exclusive item until they were engaged.

"Will you break up with Kevin?"

I mentioned this to a friend who (despite the fact that he is in a committed relationship) said he agrees. He would never ask out a girl who WAS "going steady" as you kids say, but that's more because he's a gentleman than because he thinks there's something inherently WRONG with it. As odd as it is, I find as I think about it more that... well, I agree too. If you really want to commit to a dedicated relationship, then you're already heading towards marriage, so why not make it official?

Wiser than we knew.

If there's one problem the good little Mormon boys and girls of my generation have (myself included), it's that they take the subject of dating FAR too seriously. I've heard many people say they hate asking a girl out on a date because they feel it's almost akin to a marriage proposal. The solution, it seems, would be to take the sense of obligation and commitment OUT of the dating stage in a relationship and put it where it belongs - back in the engagement.

I guess the whole purpose of the seminar could have been summed up with a two by four with the words "Lighten Up" written on it in black marker.

A Sky Full of Heroes

Man, this one took a lot of work.

I've never been more convinced that a ruler is super important in drawing. A lot of the hatching on the buildings would have turned out a bit better than it did. Oh, and there's NO WAY I could have done that perspective on the buildings without a little straight edge assistance.

The perspective was the point here - I've never been too dedicated to perspective drawing. I WAS watching a lot of Superman cartoons when I started this sketch, though, so that probably had SOME influence on the final product.

World's Worst Lyrics: The Warrior

The Culprit


The Offending Lyric

You talk talk, talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically

Why is it bad?

That's why.

Braddy Reads Bossypants

Here's a book I never thought I'd read... But, since I'm part of a book club now, I don't get to pick everything I read anymore.

I'm actually a big fan of Tina Fey's... conceptually. 30 Rock has moments of brilliance, but I haven't really watched the show in years. Also, I love how successful she's been on SNL, but I've NEVER really watched the show at ALL. So I acknowledge that she's a brilliant and successful woman, but I'm not all that emotionally invested in her career.

What I AM invested in, though, is comedy as an art form (for obvious reasons), and there are a lot of great notes on the world of comedic performing in Bossypants. Tina Fey discusses using improv comedy as an approach to life - how important it is to "Yes, And" every opportunity that comes your way. It's a fantastic approach to life and a great example of how something that is so seemingly trivial can positively impact other areas of your life.

Also, I loved hearing Tina Fey's experiences with a sexist, discriminatory system set up to keep the little girl down*. I've taken a bit of an interest in sexism and feminism recently, so I looked forward to hearing (reading?) what corrupt patriarchal systems exist in the world of televised comedy. Tina Fey's account is worth reading in full, but the part that hit me hardest follows:

And this is what Oprah would call an Aha Moment for me.... They didn't know what a maxi pad belt was. It was the moment I realized that there was no 'institutionalized sexism' at that place. Sometimes they just literally didn't know what we were talking about.

As a young man, a single adult who comes from a family of all boys and has no experience with women outside of watching a few episodes of Jem, I got a kick out of reading that. It matches how I feel about thing - I'm not actually sexist, I'm just ignorant. While that's not exactly an ideal state of being, at least ignorance is treatable.

In the end, I think Bossypants is a one-time read - I doubt I'll be going through the book again, but a once-through is definitely worth your time. I'd say recommended.

* - I realized after writing this line that it probably sounds a little patronizing, but I seriously did love these sections and hope that Ms. Fey and her lawyers recognize my great appreciation.

The College Years Playlist

So I'm tottering on the edge of 28 years old - pretty much a full-grown adult by every definition of the word (except possibly Urban Dictionary). I've been a college graduate for nearly four years now - more than enough time to get settled into adulthood, right?

Apparently not. I actually still feel like the same person I was in college... at least, I do until I have to interact with college students.

Anyway, I heard some of the music I used to listen to back in college and got a little nostalgic. Thought I'd share some of it with you.


All American Rejects, "Move Along"

I'm pretty sure almost every college student (well, all the white ones, at least) listened to a lot of All-American Rejects back in the day of... 2007. So long ago...

Well, I'm not gonna apologize for it. I STILL love this song, and will probably listen to it regularly forever.


My Chemical Romance, "Welcome to the Black Parade"

Man, this song... I mean, it wants SO HARD to be "Bohemian Rhapsody" that you can't help but love it a little, can you?

I mean, it's almost like a little kid dressing up in an oversized leather jacket because he thinks it makes him look tough. It's ADORABLE.


Gym Class Heroes, "Cupid's Chokehold"

Man, if there's a song I'm EMBARASSED to have liked, it's this one... but that's probably just because I don't like people to know I have a sense of humor.

I was lured in by the bizarre Supertramp sample, and I stuck around for the goofy music video, which I'm now obligated to hate because Katy Perry's in it.


Angels and Airwaves, "The Adventure"

I didn't really LISTEN to this song so much as I HEARD it. A lot. From my roommate's computer. Who listened to this song nearly every day. For two years.

Thankfully, it's actually a pretty good one.


Emilie Simon, "Flowers"

Probably the most obscure song on my list. Another roommate of mine played this song a lot, and I kinda fell in love with the Tim Burton-y visuals in the video.

The song itself is really strong, too. Emilie Simon chews her words like a French girl (for pretty obvious reasons), and that adds quite a bit to the charm.

Honorable mention: Pretty much everything at homestarrunner.com.(but you probably assumed that when I said "college student," didn't you?)

500th Post! Braddy's Favorite Episodes of Batman: TAS

Here we are – 500 posts later, and S.R. Braddy is still blogging. Go me!

To celebrate, I wanted to stretch myself a bit. I decided I wanted to do a bit of research but still have fun. Also, I knew my anniversary post simply HAD to a bit self-indulgent. And, when I think “research,” “fun,” and “self-indulgent,” I think of the fan-fiction I wrote about the sexy adventures of Carmen Sandiego.

Well, since I’d rather not scandalize my mother, I’ll just do a rundown of my favorite episodes of Batman: the Animated Series.

Rather than doing a straight Top Ten list, I thought I’d take a different approach. Here, I’m running down the top episodes for each of the main villains, a pretty exhausting chore. See, Batman has one of the all-time greatest rogue galleries, and as a result there are a LOT of great villain episodes. I recommend taking a bathroom break now, since we’ve got a lot to get through.


Best Man-Bat Episode: “On Leather Wings”

Hah! Like anyone really cares about Man-Bat. Still, the first episode of the series is one of the best of the show ever saw. This episode features probably the best display of the series’s trademark dark animated style. Also, I think it’s the only episode where Batman actually gets bloodied up.


Best Mr. Freeze Episode: “Heart of Ice”

Batman: TAS famously added a tragic backstory to Mr. Freeze’s otherwise one-note character. That story is deftly and beautifully portrayed in this standout episode from the series. Mr. Freeze’s character is never quite as interesting as he is in this episode. Still, this story rocks.


Best Clayface Episode: “Growing Pains”

Clayface is one of the few Batman supervillains who actually possess super powers. Usually, super villains don’t have a lot of depth to them; they’re mainly showcased for their ability to go a couple of rounds with the hero before biting the mat. In “Growing Pains,” however, we see Clayface as the catalyst for a real tragic story. You don’t usually come to Batman for heartache, but here you get it, and it’s pretty delicious.


Best Killer Croc Episode: “Sideshow”

You know, I’m a big fan of some of the more underrated Batman villains. Killer Croc is… not one of them. He’s got no depth – he’s just a thug (with some possible cannibalistic tendencies). Still, “Sideshow” tells the only compelling story you can tell with such a one-note character, where the crook finally gets a shot at redemption. SPOILER WARNING – he blows it.


Best Poison Ivy Episode: “House and Garden”

Another character I don’t care for much is given the star-class treatment in “House and Garden.” Poison Ivy just wants to lead a normal life. Of course, the words “Poison Ivy” and “wife and mother” don’t really go together all that well. This episode’s probably got one of the creepiest twists of any in the series.


Best Harley Quinn Episode: “Mad Love”

It’d be hard to deny (from a character history standpoint) that Harley Quinn is the most enduring legacy of Batman: TAS. She was originally created to be just another Joker henchperson, but, since the show ended, Harley’s become a major character in the comic world as well, often appearing on her own without the Joker. Personally, I feel that, if you remove the Joker from Harley’s story, you take out a key part of what makes Harley so fascinating. Watch this episode, and I think you’ll get that.

Actually, just about EVERY Harley episode is worth watching. She’s the breakout character of the series for a reason.


Best Two Face Episode: “Two Face”

Anyone who talks about Batman: TAS will tell you that the series did a bang-up job introducing the character Two Face. District Attorney Harvey Dent appears in several episodes before his tragic fall – heck, he’s even the victim once. The two-part “Two Face” arc is pretty intense stuff for a children’s show – which is probably why it’s so well-loved.


Best Penguin Episode: “Birds of a Feather”

I like the “idea” of the Penguin more often than the execution… usually. This story hits all the right spots and tells what I consider to be the perfect Penguin story. Penguin’s aristocracy is little more than a delusion, and, when that delusion is called into question, he turns violently vengeful.


Best Scarface Episode: “Read My Lips”

Another underrated villain, the puppet Scarface is played exactly right in the cartoon. His first appearance demonstrates exactly what makes him such a great character – he’s calculating and brilliant, despite his odd appearance. Also, the conclusion, where the Ventriloquist stabs a scar into a new puppet’s face, is disturbing in the best way possible.


Best Mad Hatter Episode: “Perchance to Dream”

Technically, I just gave away the twist ending to a twenty-year-old cartoon. Sorry. But there’s no doubt about it – “Perchance to Dream” is the greatest Mad Hatter story, possibly ever. The villain will stop at nothing to get Batman out of his hair – even if it means giving his archenemy everything he ever wanted.


Best Ra’s al Ghul Episode: “Showdown”

Batman’s barely even IN this episode! Instead, we get a flashback to a scene from Ra’s al Ghul’s past, where he goes toe-to-toe with a great underrated DC character, Jonah Hex (who’s a lot better than the movie made him out to be, by the way). This episode shows us not only Ra’s al Ghul’s eternal villainy, but his family side as well.


Best Scarecrow Episode: “Nothing to Fear”

Scarecrow’s probably one of the greatest Batman villains ever, but he rarely makes as big an impact as he should in the animated series. “Nothing to Fear” takes the top spot, if only because it gives us one of Batman’s most defining moments – “I am vengeance! I am the night! I am BATMAN!”

Seriously, yell that to yourself in the mirror before you go jogging, and those hills won’t give you NO guff.


Best Riddler Episode: “Riddler’s Reform”

Like Scarecrow, the Riddler is a potentially great character who didn’t really ever shine in Batman: TAS (although he LOOKS better than he ever did anywhere else). “Riddler’s Reform” is his only real highlight episode, where his obsession with conquering Batman ultimately destroys the happy life he is building for himself.


Best Catwoman Episode: “You Scratch My Back”

I’m not sure: do people actually LIKE Catwoman? I mean, someone has to – her costume’s always a hit at parties, and they’ve made a movie about… actually, let’s not bring the movie up. I think Catwoman gets more misses than hits, but “You Scratch My Back” shows the potential of the character, as she uses her charm to split up Team Batman for her own benefit.


Best Joker Episode: “Joker’s Favor”

If anyone ever needs an explanation of why the Joker is one of the best cartoon villains of all time, they should watch this episode. The Joker extorts a favor from an ordinary Joe and then keeps tabs on him for YEARS before cashing in. “Joker’s Favor” highlights the madman’s propensity for complex planning as well as his reliance on (seeming) chaos. This episode’s a personal favorite.

OKAY, I FELT LIKE INCLUDING A FEW MORE HIGHLIGHTS FROM THE SERIES:


Best Original Villain (Who Isn’t Harley Quinn): Kyodai Ken

Batman: TAS introduced a lot of new villains. The one I liked the most (aside from Harley) is a ninja whose vendetta is against Bruce Wayne himself, not Batman. Kyodai Ken knows who Batman is, and that knowledge proves to be his most effective weapon, as Bruce Wayne has to hold back during their fight to avoid exposing his secret.


Best Music: “A Bullet for Bullock”

As far as I’m concerned, Batman: the Animated Series has the best soundtrack of any children’s show, ever (suck it, Thundercats theme). Every villain has his or her own theme that subtly intensifies the action of a given scene. None of those themes are featured in “A Bullet for Bullock,” but the cool jazz definitely sets this episode apart from the others. I watch it just to listen, and I love it.


Best Alfred Episode: “The Lion and the Unicorn”

Alfred’s one of my favorite characters. No, really – I LOVE this guy. He’s a former secret service agent for British intelligence, and how does he spend his retirement? He’s Batman’s butler. Between this episode, which gives us just a glimpse of Alfred’s past, and the Poison Ivy episode where we meet Alfred’s girlfriend, I realized I’d probably read a whole BOOK about Alfred, the Bat Butler.


Best Batman Episode: “The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy”

This is probably the strangest choice on my list, but, if you ask me to show you what episode best shows Batman being Batman, it’s this one. Batman lays a truly elaborate plan to capture a criminal, one which requires Batman to put himself at great personal risk. He does it all, because he’s Batman, and there’s no way one silly little thug is going to get the best of HIM. There are definitely better episodes out there, but no other shows the cunning brainwork that goes in to being Gotham’s protector like “The Cape and Cowl Conspiracy.”

And now, just for fun: My five favorite episodes, presented without commentary.

• 5 – “Trial”
• 4 – “Baby Doll”
• 3 – “Joker’s Favor”
• 2 – “Almost Got ‘Im”
• 1 – “Beware the Gray Ghost”

Why I'm Still Single 43

Hey, I just realized this is my 499th blog post. I need to think up something REAL special for the occasion...

Sad Little Skull Boy

I’m not quite sure what possessed me to draw a skull the other day – nor why I decided to put a T-shirt on the skull one I was done. Nevertheless, here we are, and I’m pretty happy with where that strange little artistic exercise led me.

That is, of course, not exactly an accurate depiction of what the human skull looks like – if anything, it’s a Mike Mignola skull, the type you see in Hellboy comics. Actually, mentioning Mignola here makes a lot of sense. One of the things I’ve always loved about Hellboy is the idea that there’s this great big hulking red DEMON walking around, and most of the people who see him are like, “Whatever.” They’re totally indifferent to something that should scare the crap out of them.

And I think that’s kinda what I was going for here. The sad little skull boy’s school friends don’t seem to mind that he’s a little different. To them, he’s completely normal. In fact, he may even be the loser of the group.

That’s both funny and really tragic. I think Tim Burton would approve.

Things I'll Love Forever: Finding Nemo

The summer after I graduated from high school, I probably saw Finding Nemo about four times in the theater – and there aren’t many movies I’ve watched in the movie theater more than once (The Dark Knight and, strangely enough, the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie are the only others I can think of). The beautiful aquatic sceneries and memorable characters make Finding Nemo one of my favorite movies of all time – and I haven’t watched it in years. Well, until Sunday night, at any rate. Then I remembered all the stuff to like about it.

1 – Finding Nemo has two very strong, very likeable main characters. Marlin is a pretty typical father figure, except his a little more cowardly than fathers are usually depicted. Of course, when your entire family is viciously devoured before your eyes, you’ll probably be a little cautious yourself. Marlin’s terror is pretty much his defining characteristic; however, when Nemo is abducted, Marlin turns that fear into a kind of desperate courage. His devotion to his son is nothing short of impressive.

2 – Of course, just because Marlin is the daring rescuer doesn’t mean Nemo can’t have his moment to shine. Crippled for life by a damaged fin, Nemo should be the helpless. One he meets his personal Yoda, though, Nemo comes into his own, and he actually manages to rescue himself. He’s the Macguffin to Marlin’s story arc, but his own character never gets thrown under the bus. Nemo’s every bit as inspiring and likeable as his father.

3 – Then there’s this chick:


In any other movie, a character like Dory would drive me absolutely insane. She’s obnoxious, gimmicky, and so silly she almost becomes superfluous. And it’s that “almost” that redeems her. She’s got her own story – a lot of it we never actually get to see. Near the end of the movie, when Marlin is about to leave and Dory begs him to stay with her, she delivers this amazing little speech about how he helps her remember things. That hint of tragedy makes her character far more compelling than she should be. I cry EVERY %^#% time.

Also, Ellen DeGeneres SMASHES the role. Dory, who is nearly Finding Nemo’s worst character, becomes the movie’s best, thanks in no small part to the brilliant voice acting.

4 – Almost all of the bit characters are great and memorable in their own way, as well. While the plot feels a bit like it was written with a video-game adaptation in mind (“here’s the shark level, here’s the jellyfish level…”), none of the set-pieces are unnecessary. Every step of the way (so to speak), Marlin learns a bit more about himself and Nemo. The sharks teach him to face his fears, the turtles teach him to trust his son more, and the whale teaches him to trust more. Not a single lesson is wasted. Speaking of which…

5 – Finding Nemo’s story is one of the most tightly-woven narratives I’ve ever encountered. There’s literally no filler. Every scene is significant, and many scenes are actually revisited – at least thematically. Heck, even Dory’s “Just Keep Swimming” song plays a significant role in the climax, when the fish have to escape the trawler’s net. The finale of the movie ties Dory’s optimism, Marlin’s determination, and Nemo’s self-confidence into one REALLY tense moment that serves as a great way to tie up all three storylines effectively and beautifully.

Is Finding Nemo a perfect movie? Maybe. I’m not kidding. It’s a darn fine piece of cinema, and I’ll love it forever.

Gachnar Pops Up

And here you though a VIRUS was the scariest thing you could accidentally download…

Actually, never mind. The virus probably IS still the scariest thing you could download. Even if he totally devours your mouse cursor, Gachnar is STILL just about the cutest darn thing.

A Voice In The Choir

Last Sunday was Stake Conference for my little Mormon neighborhood. A bunch of single kids 18-30 years old gathered in a big room to be told how much they need to get married (spoiler: they need to get married thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiis much). I was in the choir, so I sat up on the stand the whole time. Apparently, my face was in the monitor the whole time, so I got projected up on the screen with all the speakers. That may be a problem, because my ability to express sarcasm with my face is inversely proportionate to my ability to gauge how appropriate it is to express sarcasm with my face in a given scenario.

Anyway, being in the choir was kinda cool. I actually LOVE singing, and, now that I’m not involved in school choirs and musicals as much as I used to be, I have very few opportunities to sing in quality productions. Thankfully, the stake choir had the talent and direction to be a powerful, positive singing experience. We sang some pretty standard Mormon musical numbers, including a hymn arranged by Mack Wilberg, considered by some to be the LDS equivalent of Handel (and others the LDS equivalent of Randy Newman).


The NICE thing about Wilberg (and Handel, for that matter) is that he really knows how to write good bass parts. Most of the Mack Wilberg pieces I’ve ever sung have really strong closing chords. The basses frequently wind up on a middle C, which isn’t too high in the bass range to be difficult to sing, but high enough that they get the high note rush that explains why most tenors I know are emaciated stoners.

Just kidding. Tenors are great people. Hardly stoned at all. I just like to incite bass/tenor rivalries everywhere I go. I’m probably the only person in the world who thinks it’s funny.

Really, there’s a bit of a rush that comes when you get to sing the high notes in your register at full voice and hold them for a long time. That’s the moment when you realize that, as a singer, you’re not really the artist at all. You’re the instrument. Your entire body is designed to transport and transform this air you breathe into a sound worth listening to. Your vocal chords vibrate with the passing air, much like the strings in a piano or the reed in a saxophone. Truly, the singer is like God’s Clarinet. Or, in my case, God’s Kazoo.