Things I'll Love Forever: Sweaters

The Art of Manliness (the source for the above image) states that "a quality sweater that properly fits is one of the most flattering garments a man can wear." And, yeah, after years of dressing like an out-of-work poetry teacher, I'm inclined to agree. Sweaters are just about the best thing ever.

• Used to be that sweaters made me think of the "uncool" class of people - you know, like Carlton Banks. Nowadays, though, I'm pretty sure sweaters are considered a classy wardrobe choice. Frankly, considering my usual attire of ironic T-shirts making jokes about 16th-century poets and superheroes, it's miraculous I ever find anything "classy" to wear.
• I'm particularly fond of argyle, which seems to add just a hint of fun to an otherwise mundane wardrobe choice. I say "fun," yet argyle also classes up the overall appearance, making a splash at church or informal gatherings.
• Now, I'm a pretty scrawny person, so the long-sleeved sweater makes me feel a lot more confident about my physique by masking the HECK out of it. I look like I might actually be able to lift up a medium-sized dog or a chunky child, whereas, without the sweater, I might never be called upon to undertake such tasks.
• However, when I want to go with a more intellectual look, I find that a sweater vest - an oft-maligned sartorial selection - provides me with just the right writerly paunch that tells the ladies, "Yes, this man COULD seduce you. With his mind.:
• Most importantly, sweaters provide a level of warmth and comfort most clothes can't. I can't tell you how many cold mornings I've spent lying awake in bed, reluctant to rise and face the bitter chill of wind and snow, only to find courage in the thought that, "Well, at least I can wear a sweater today." Seriously, it's like Linus's security blanket, but you can take it to work without looking the fool.

It's pretty rare that I get worked up over an article of clothing. Since the sweater manages to evoke such a positive reaction from me, I'll love it forever.

And yes, I'm wearing a sweater RIGHT NOW.

Things I'll Love Forever: Superman

I've always been one to miss a bandwagon. Yesterday was apparently the 75th anniversary of the publication of Action Comics #1, and thus it was also the birthday of Superman. As I've gotten older, I've gotten more and more disillusioned with superheroes as a medium - mainly because the characters who filled the stories I loved as a child now exist in forms I'd never want my own children to witness. Now, sometimes the more mature takes on superhero storytelling are indisputably awesome, but I still find myself longing for the clean, four-color adventures I grew up with, when heroes were heroes and villains wore impractical costumes and wanted to "take over the world." And, in recent months, Superman has come to embody that quiet optimism for me.

• The classic Superman look - blue tights with red cape and shorts - is undeniably goofy, but somehow endearing at the same time. In real life, someone dressed in a Superman costume looks silly. Period. In a comic book, though, in that brilliant four-color world, the Superman costume looks downright inspiring.
• I have to admit that Superman's concept is a little silly, but sometimes silly is good. A confluence of silly things can come together to make an outrageous yet profoundly meaningful story. Sure, Superman's secret identity is a little hard to swallow (glasses?), and his powers are all over the place (he has the ability to shoot a midget version of himself out of his hands. Seriously), but those silly ideas simply build up a world where anything can happen, and when it does happen, it turns out for the best. You can't beat that kind of optimism.
• There's a beautiful metaphor at the heart of Superman's character. He's an alien, an outsider... yet he chooses to be a part of society. He has the power to be whatever he wants... and he chooses to be a hero. Tell me that's not what every parent wants for their struggling teen.
• I've heard a lot of people complain that Superman is "too powerful" to be relatable. With all due respect to those people, who are of course entitled to their own opinions, their the wrongest wronglings to ever be wrong about anything. In a Superman story (well, a good one, at any rate), the conflict of the story isn't settled through violent confrontation, except maybe as metaphor. The stakes are never life and death - they're deeper. Superman, a literal embodiment of selflessness and heroism, battles against Lex Luthor, who represents greed, vanity, and all the worst aspects of human nature. And Superman wins every time. That's some &@$%in' good stuff, mate!

Okay, I've rambled a bit, but I still don't think I've made my point. Let me close with the words of Grant Morrison, writer of All-Star Superman (with art by the inimitable Frank Quitely, whose pictures I've used here). Morrison probably expressed in a couple dozen words the sentiment I've failed to capture in however many paragraphs:

"Somewhere, in our darkest night, we made up the story of a man who will never let us down."

And THAT'S why I'll love him forever.

BONUS: I stumbled across this video a few days ago. Check it out: Superman from the days of Merry Melodies. It's an animation classic and quite possibly my favorite Superman story I've seen in a long time.

Things I'll Love Forever: Usagi Yojimbo

Sometimes I worry about professing my love for Stan Sakai's Usagi Yojimbo, especially since a comic about a giant anthropomorphized rabbit samurai sounds like the sole property of a certain sub-culture that even I look down on. But I can't help it - Usagi Yojimbo is one of the best darn things I ever read.

• Usagi Yojimbo started back in the eighties, when black and white comics about giant animal warriors were kind of a thing, so it'd be easy to dismiss Usagi Yojimbo as a gimmicky cash-in. The thing is, the animal characters Stan Sakai uses to tell his samurai stories are some of the best, most well-crafted characters I've ever read. They could be illustrated as rabbits, humans, dogs, or giant talking toaster ovens and still feel very real.
• One of the biggest complaints I have about comics in general is the massive amount of backstory generally necessary to understand even the simplest of stories. Usagi Yojimbo largely avoids that by telling simple, done-in-one-issue stories that manage to be gripping and fresh, even though our main character rarely encounters anything new ("What? He's fighting bandits? That hasn't happened since at least last month!").
• Stan Sakai's work is incredibly well-researched. He sets his stories in feudal Japan, and he makes sure that the details of daily life are accurate. Sometimes, he'll straight up dive off for a couple of pages into some exposition about the history of the country or the way swords were made back then. And it's ALWAYS fascinating.

• Far and away, one of my favorite stories in the series involves our main character, Miyamoto Usagi, participating in a tea ceremony with an old friend. There's almost no dialog in the whole issue, but there's still a lot of emotional intensity AND a big educational discourse on how the tea ceremony works. Considering that the issue right before it (and likely the one right after it) involved a bunch of big stupid fights, the fact that Sakai can take something as simple as sitting down to tea and turn it into a compelling story is testament to his skill.
• Speaking of skill, I'd be remiss if I didn't point out that Usagi Yojimbo is one of the best-looking comics out there, even without any coloration. Sakai's a master at the black-and-white medium, employing techniques like stippling and crosshatching to do far more than add visual variety to his panels. He communicates emotion with his linework in a way I've not seen in many other books.

• In the twenty-five or thirty years or so that Sakai's been working, he's introduced a TON of characters, and thus has been able to craft a variety of stories. For straight up brawls, he's got Gen the bounty hunter. Tomoe and her Lord Noryiuki lend themselves well to stories about political intrigue. Inspector Ishida (my favorite) solves murder mysteries as well as Holmes or Poirot. For stories with a more supernatural bend, you've got the immortal murderer Jei or Sakura the demon hunter. And Sakai's proven that he can do all these stories justice.

I pick up a volume of Usagi Yojimbo when I have a bad day and just enjoy the heck out of it. It's consistently great without being in-your-face aggressive, and I love it forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: Finding Nemo

The summer after I graduated from high school, I probably saw Finding Nemo about four times in the theater – and there aren’t many movies I’ve watched in the movie theater more than once (The Dark Knight and, strangely enough, the first Pirates of the Caribbean movie are the only others I can think of). The beautiful aquatic sceneries and memorable characters make Finding Nemo one of my favorite movies of all time – and I haven’t watched it in years. Well, until Sunday night, at any rate. Then I remembered all the stuff to like about it.

1 – Finding Nemo has two very strong, very likeable main characters. Marlin is a pretty typical father figure, except his a little more cowardly than fathers are usually depicted. Of course, when your entire family is viciously devoured before your eyes, you’ll probably be a little cautious yourself. Marlin’s terror is pretty much his defining characteristic; however, when Nemo is abducted, Marlin turns that fear into a kind of desperate courage. His devotion to his son is nothing short of impressive.

2 – Of course, just because Marlin is the daring rescuer doesn’t mean Nemo can’t have his moment to shine. Crippled for life by a damaged fin, Nemo should be the helpless. One he meets his personal Yoda, though, Nemo comes into his own, and he actually manages to rescue himself. He’s the Macguffin to Marlin’s story arc, but his own character never gets thrown under the bus. Nemo’s every bit as inspiring and likeable as his father.

3 – Then there’s this chick:


In any other movie, a character like Dory would drive me absolutely insane. She’s obnoxious, gimmicky, and so silly she almost becomes superfluous. And it’s that “almost” that redeems her. She’s got her own story – a lot of it we never actually get to see. Near the end of the movie, when Marlin is about to leave and Dory begs him to stay with her, she delivers this amazing little speech about how he helps her remember things. That hint of tragedy makes her character far more compelling than she should be. I cry EVERY %^#% time.

Also, Ellen DeGeneres SMASHES the role. Dory, who is nearly Finding Nemo’s worst character, becomes the movie’s best, thanks in no small part to the brilliant voice acting.

4 – Almost all of the bit characters are great and memorable in their own way, as well. While the plot feels a bit like it was written with a video-game adaptation in mind (“here’s the shark level, here’s the jellyfish level…”), none of the set-pieces are unnecessary. Every step of the way (so to speak), Marlin learns a bit more about himself and Nemo. The sharks teach him to face his fears, the turtles teach him to trust his son more, and the whale teaches him to trust more. Not a single lesson is wasted. Speaking of which…

5 – Finding Nemo’s story is one of the most tightly-woven narratives I’ve ever encountered. There’s literally no filler. Every scene is significant, and many scenes are actually revisited – at least thematically. Heck, even Dory’s “Just Keep Swimming” song plays a significant role in the climax, when the fish have to escape the trawler’s net. The finale of the movie ties Dory’s optimism, Marlin’s determination, and Nemo’s self-confidence into one REALLY tense moment that serves as a great way to tie up all three storylines effectively and beautifully.

Is Finding Nemo a perfect movie? Maybe. I’m not kidding. It’s a darn fine piece of cinema, and I’ll love it forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: White Christmas

I don't watch a whole lot of Christmas movies during the month of December. Most of them suck eggnog... not that I'd ever single out a possibly-beloved Christmas classic to hate on it *cough*. I did get the chance last night to sit down with White Christmas, one of my all-time FAVORITE Christmas movies when I was a bit younger. After watching it again for the first time in several years, I noticed a few imperfections (what in the name of Krampus are they WEARING?), but it's still an excellent film.

• The concluding scene, when the soldiers present at the inn and sing "The Old Man," never fails to get me a little teary-eyed.


• When I grow up, I want to be Bing Crosby's voice. Any time anyone else starts singing with him, I start yelling at the television until Bing's just singing solo again.


• I kinda miss movies that are completely unashamed to have big dance numbers. Most movies set up some kind of gimmick to frame dance sequences and remove them from what's "really" happening in the film (I'm looking at you, Chicago). Other movies present dance numbers ironically or with a great big wink to the audience (Enchanted and The Muppets both do this). While that's all well and good, it gives me the impression that film makers are EMBARASSED to film dancers. However, Vera-Ellen, Danny Kaye, and John Brascia prove that a little dancing is nothing to be ashamed of, and a LOT can be pretty darn cool.


• Speaking of dancing, the number "Choreography" nearly makes the whole movie worthwhile for me. It's a brilliant meta-commentary on the state of dance in musical theater, and it STILL feels timely and fitting over fifty years later.


• Not all the musical numbers are winners, but, surprisingly, the military numbers rank among my favorites ("The Old Man," "What Can You Do with A General," and "Gee, I Wish I Was Back In The Army"). No one, and I mean NO ONE, does martial music like Irving Berlin.


• While the plot of White Christmas has very little to do with Christmas (actually, the movie's based on an earlier film with almost the exact same story), the MESSAGE of Christmas still comes through. Christmas is a time to focus on love, compassion, and good will towards men. White Christmas has those elements in SPADES.

The show's certainly dated, and some of the writing's a bit wobbly, but White Christmas is a great film, and I'll love it forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: Jim Henson's Muppets

I saw The Muppets a couple of weeks ago and have been recommending it pretty frequently to friends and coworkers. Surprisingly (at least I was surprised), a lot of my friends say that they don't like/never "got" the Muppets. I guess I see where they're coming from: I never quite understood what the Muppets were really about until I started watching The Muppet Show in earnest as an adult. Now I can't seem to get enough of them.

• A lot of my fascination with the Muppets has to do with the mad genius that is Jim Henson. I watched a (lengthy) documentary from 1968 called Muppets on Puppets that illustrated just how talented Henson was. The man appears - well, to me, at least - to be a little shy and unsure of himself in front of the camera. However, put a puppet in his hands, and he's suddenly eloquent, witty, and charismatic. Jim Henson is quickly becoming one of the artists I admire most. And, yes, I do call his puppeteering "art."
• I have a bit of comedic experience, so I know that it's difficult to do comedy without being raunchy. The Muppets, though, seem to manage it just fine, with a heavy reliance on puns and slapstick that, admittedly, isn't for everyone. If you ARE into that kind of thing, though, then the Muppets tend to get away with groaners that anyone else would be ashamed of. The fuzzy puppets make them work.
• Back episodes of The Muppet Show introduced me to a lot of music that I'd not listened to before. Thanks to the Muppets, I have a brand new respect for classic rock and pop artists like Elton John, Leo Sayer, and Harry Belafonte. Also, just about any time you get Rowlf on the piano, I'm stuck to the TV screen. I LOVE that dog!
• I've mentioned how much I love The Muppet Christmas Carol before, but it bears repeating. Gonzo makes a surprisingly competent Charles Dickens, and... heck, all of the Muppet performers lend a surprising amount of sincerity and self-awareness to one of my favorite stories of all time. Also, I have fond memories of arguing with my brothers over whether or not Beaker flips Michael Caine off (answer: I'ma say he does).
• I don't know if its the music, the dancing, the guest stars, or what, but the Muppets seem to me to be one of the greatest "wholesome" groups around. I HATE the word "wholesome," by the way. It makes me think of a box of Fiber One. The thing is, though, that I actually feel good about watching the Muppets - the laughter's genuine, the songs are moving, and... heck, I've actually gotten to care about pieces of fabric wrapped around a guy's hand. That's gotta count for something.

Chalk it up to childish nostalgia if you must, but the Muppets have inspired me, and I'll love them forever.

Except for this guy:

Seriously? He sucks.

Things I'll Love Forever: Alice in Wonderland

The story that made Lewis Carroll famous is now used as a symbol of drug culture and general, unchained mind-screwery, but, really, Alice's Adventures in Wonderland (and its follow-up, Through the Looking Glass) are fantastic children's books in their own right.

• Carroll's stories often get unfairly saddled with an... unsavory reputation. While there's certainly something slightly sinister regarding Carroll's fascination with children, at heart the Alice stories are simply good, enjoyable children's stories, complete with fantastic scenes and great leaps in logic.
• Speaking of leaps in logic, the Alice stories are effective criticisms and satires of traditional logical thinking. In fact, it's this rebellion against logic that inspires so much of the nonsense in the books (and not any illicit substances).
• While I maintain that the Alice stories are inherently innocent, the images and characters in those stories lend themselves very well to darker interpretations - some of which will find place in my own fiction down the road. The darker elements of Alice have been successfully incorporated into superhero fiction and video games (but not, to my knowledge, in movies).
• While Through the Looking Glass is easily the weaker of the two books, the poem "Jabberwocky" remains one of the greatest nonsense poems of all time, so much so that it's actually transcended nonsense into... sense (some of the words of the poem, like "chortled," are legitimate words in their own right now).
• Also, Alice's exchange with Humpty Dumpty may be the greatest thing ever ("'When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in a rather a scornful tone, 'it means just what I choose it to mean—neither more nor less'").

Children's literature continues to inspire me well into my alleged adulthood, and none so much as Alice in Wonderland. For that, I'll love these books forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: Easter Candy

I know that, when Easter rolls around, we really should be focused on more important things, but I just can't help it - I love me some Easter candy.

1 - I don't know what it is, but just about EVERY SINGLE CANDY BAR tastes better egg-shaped - Butterfinger, Snickers... even Reese's peanut butter eggs are a delight - and I don't really care for Reese's otherwise.

2 - Even though there's a huge variety of flavors, I just can't get enough of the original variety of Starburst Jelly Beans. Eating them is a delicate process - the green ones are the first to go, followed by the yellow and purple. Orange, red, and pink I save for last - they're the best.

If I could buy a bag of Starburst: Just the Pink Ones, I totally would. Heck, M & Ms come in just the green bags at Valentines. Someone make this happen!

3 - I guess these aren't TECHNICALLY Easter candies, but Kinder Surprise Eggs are about the most fun a person can have with candy. A chocolate egg with an awesome little toy inside? That's pure joy in a foil wrapper.

Of course, not all the toys are great. I mean, you can get a four-piece jigsaw puzzle or a flipbook the size of your thumbnail. However, if you get one of these:


Then it's like Christmas and Easter rolled into one great big holiday ball of misplaced Christian celebration!

4 - Check this out:


IT'S A GINORMOUS EGG!!!

That's just classy.

5 - I know a lot of people think these are gross, but I LOVE Cadbury Cream Eggs. Every year, I buy a four-pack of the eggs, eat them all in ten minutes, and get sick to my stomach. It's as traditional as wearing big hats to church.

However:


Shrinking eggs? Not cool, Cadbury.

Okay, so maybe it's a bit childish to get worked up so much over candy every spring, but I prefer to think of it as a ritual of renewal. Easter candy makes me feel young again, and that's why I love it forever.

By the way, if you're wondering why I didn't say anything about Peeps, it's because they're gross. So there.

Things I'll Love Forever: The Fantasticks

I've long considered musical theater to be something of a broken genre. Admittedly, my opinion is based primarily on the relatively limited selection of musicals I've been exposed to, a list that consists primarily of Rodgers and Hammerstein artifacts (Sorry, Sound of Music fans, but I find your show quaint and uninspired).

Back in college, though, I took a class on the history of the Broadway musical where I was exposed to this little production:


My life's been better for it.

1. The Fantasticks involves a tiny cast of seven people (and a wall) on a tiny stage - so unlike the pomp and bombast of today's Broadway productions. The intimacy of the show allows for a purer focus on storytelling over showmanship - something you rarely see in Broadway anymore.
2. Despite the small size of the cast, every character leaves a powerful impression - from the silly romantic Louisa to the (culturally insensitive?) Indian Mortimer who is good at dying.
3. The enigmatic El Gallo, narrator (and antagonist?) of the story sits on my list of roles I'd love to play. He's equal parts charismatic and threatening - a showman's showman.
4. Most Broadway nerds unfamiliar with The Fantasticks have heard and love "Try To Remember," a low-key, moving little number about clinging to good memories when times are hard. The other music's worth checking out as well. Sadly, you don't get to hear the rape song anymore ("It Depends on What You Pay") without heavy alterations to the lyrics (but we all still talk about "The Rape of the Sabine Women").
5. In my mind, the most ingenious aspect of The Fantasticks is how the show is able to turn its alleged weaknesses to its advantage. A cardboard moon hanging during a romantic scene is taken down when the mystique of the evening turns to the unflattering light of day. There's not even an actual wall in the story, but a mime holding a stick. The "wall" can thus serve as a one-man stage crew and prop dispenser, all surprisingly without breaking the illusion of the show.
6. When you add it all together - the simplistic set, the broken character cliches, and the cardboard moon - The Fantasticks serves as a surprisingly sophisticated deconstruction of the Broadway musical. The show definitely has a cynical side but manages to maintain the heart of a good, old-fashioned Broadway romance even so.

The movie version, starring New Kid on the Block Joey McIntyre and Teller (of Penn & Teller) in a speaking role, served as my introduction to the show. However, you're best served catching it on stage if you can... and I just so happen to know of a production in Murray right now. Go see it!

The Fantasticks won me over by showing that you can have your cynical cake and eat it too, and that's why I'll love it forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: The Fantastic Mr. Fox

I caught a showing of Rango this past weekend (short review: great trippy visuals and a so-so story), and left with a strange and seemingly untraceable desire to rewatch one of my favorite movies of 2009 - Wes Anderson's The Fantastic Mr. Fox. And, boy, am I glad I did.

1 - The Fantastic Mr. Fox is rendered completely in stop-motion animation with well-detailed puppets. Thus the film looks like a product of the seventies - much like the different movies I watched as a grade-school student in an underfunded educational system. Oddly enough, the rather archaic animation created a picture that, to me, was more emotionally moving and relatable than a certain high-profile CGI picture that came out around the same time.

2 - The voice cast in The Fantastic Mr. Fox is outstanding to a man. In any other production, George Clooney would have stolen the show as the titular charismatic con-man. However, he has to keep up with stellar work from Meryl Streep, Bill Murray, Jason Schwartzman, and even Albus Dumbledore.

3 - The relationship between Mr. and Mrs. Fox is surprisingly emotional for a stop-motion feature based on a children's book. Mrs. Fox looks her husband in the eye and tells him, "I love you, but I shouldn't have married you." That's complex stuff for what's ostensibly a kid's movie.

4 - The music, though simple, is pretty memorable. After watching the movie, I find myself singing "Boggis, Bunce, and Bean" in my head for a few days after.

And don't worry, Petey. I don't think you wrote a bad song.

5 - If nothing else, the quirky dialog carries the movie to a level higher than, say, that one animated blockbuster of 2009. Small touches (like replacing all profanity with the word "cuss") add a mild flavor to the text, while overtly bizarre lines ("I weigh less than a slice of bread") keep my giggling for days.

For the most part, I like my movies on the eccentric side, and The Fantastic Mr. Fox is exactly my kind of peculiar, which is why I'll love it forever.

Also, it's a MUCH better movie than Avatar.

Things I'll Love Forever: Scott Pilgrim

Bryan Lee O'Malley's Scott Pilgrim series made quite a splash in the comic book community over the past couple of years. Personally, I can see why - while Scott Pilgrim's not my FAVORITE comic of all time, it hits a lot of the right notes with me.

1 - Believe it or not, the story of Scott Pilgrim's battle with Ramona's seven evil exes is a deeply metaphorical account of dealing with the baggage people bring to romantic relationships - albeit a metaphor told from Scott's emotionally-stunted point of view. Just as Scott has to face off with the violent psychopaths Ramona used to date, Ramona meets and comes to terms (or blows) with Scott's own lineup of exes - Kim Pine, Envy Adams, and, of course, Knives Chau.

2 - The Scott Pilgrim series draws on three main influences: indie music, video games, and, of course, comics. Turns out these are three great tastes that go great together. O'Malley blends subjects he's obviously quite passionate about with great ease to give the story a real frantic energy.

3 - The allusions to video games and music aren't required to understand or appreciate the story itself - they're just a bit of extra flavoring.

4 - Wallace Wells, Scott's gay roommate:


Dude's a HOOT.

5 - While 2010's movie adaptation of the series doesn't quite live up to the standard set by the book series, it's pretty faithful to the spirit of the books. Visually impressive, well-cast, and full of some pretty good music, the movie's definitely worth a look.

6 - The thing I love most about Scott Pilgrim, more than the pop culture references, the insane fight sequences, and the fantastic characters, is the heart. Ultimately, Scott Pilgrim's story is one of growing up, learning to accept responsibility, and becoming a man... even if that means putting away childish notions. It's a story for the Nintendo generation, now reaching adulthood. Frankly, I see it as the story of my own life. Not entirely a FLATTERING comparison, but apt.

For mixing in just the right amount of heartfelt sincerity with my big, stupid, fun, Scott Pilgrim has really caught my attention, and I'll love it forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: A Christmas Carol

I can't think of a better way to kick off the holiday season proper.

I don't know if this makes me a literary snob or just a sentimental ol' fool, but A Christmas Carol is, without a doubt, one of my all-time favorite stories ever written in the history of ever. Enough hyperbole? THERE'S NEVER ENOUGH HYPERBOLE!!!

1 - I know we've all seen about a tetra-bajillion different film adaptations of this Christmas classic, but have you ever actually read the book? It's beautiful! I read the book for the first time in a British Literary History class back in college. I had to shut myself in my room to read it, because I couldn't help but repeat all the words to myself out loud. It's THAT GOOD. Dickens writes DELICIOUS words.

2 - You want proof that these words are tasty? Check out the audioplay performed completely by Patrick Stewart. He even makes little high-pitched voices for all the women and Tiny Tim. Good stuff.

3 - Now, you know those tetra-bajillion film adaptations I mentioned earlier? Yeah, THEY'RE ALL GOOD TOO!

(Okay, I haven't seen them ALL. I reserve the right to hate on the new Jim Carrey adaptation until I've seen it

You've been warned - don't mess up my Christmas spirit!

Personally, I love some of the cheesey musical adaptations, like Scrooge starring Albert Finney and, of course, A Muppet Christmas Carol (I just love me some Michael Caine).

4 - The message of A Christmas Carol speaks to the optimist in all of us (yes, I do have an optimist in here somewhere). The potential for good is in all men. Yes, it's true that people like Ebenezer Scrooge do a lot of harm to their fellow men, but with the right motivation (and perhaps a bit of divine intervention), that evil can be turned into something good.

5 - This one just now occurred to me:

A Christmas Carol may be the absolute best Christmas story this side of the Nativity. While the story itself focuses on the holiday, it's meaning transcends the usual month-long, holly-and-ivy banalities. Sure, there's some talk about Christmas being the season of giving or love or some @#$% like that, but the holiday for Dickens is more a celebration of the human spirit of kindness that should exist within our hearts ALL YEAR. For those who are mean and stingy (a phrase that should really only be used when speaking to a three-year-old), Christmas is a time of redemption, a chance for them to reflect on who they are and who they should be.

A Christmas Carol is a timeless holiday classic, well worthy of being loved forever. Which I do.

Things I'll Love Forever: 500 Days of Summer

I've got very specific criteria when it comes to selecting movies that I like. My favorite movies are usually non-linear stories with complex morals, ambiguous endings, and at least a pinch of artsy-pretentiousness. Okay, not ALL of my movies fit this description, but most do.

Like, for example, 500 Days of Summer.

1 - The *ahem* "love" story of 500 Days of Summer hits REALLY close to home. I've often been in the situation where I've been more committed to a relationship than the other party. I've often pined after the person I just broke up with for MONTHS after the breakup (and, in one particular instance, a couple of years). And I've often let those emotions compel me to do silly, silly things.

2 - Despite the emotional tailspin Tom goes into after Summer breaks up with him, he comes out the other side better. He lets Summer's influence prompt him to change his life and start focusing on what he REALLY wants to be doing. This is an aspect of relationships (and, specifically, break-ups) that almost NEVER gets touched on in media, and I really appreciated seeing it.

3 - Speaking of non-linear artsy pretension... 500 Days of Summer is chock-full of weird little transitions that give a bit more information on the plot, including a happy dance break reminiscent of Enchanted and a series of interviews with Tom's friends about what "love" is. Now, these little breaks from reality are fun, but, to me, they serve the higher purpose of making clear that the plot is told from Tom's EXTREMELY biased point-of-view - which serves as a nice way for the creator to cover his own @%%. Plus, it's another example of the "unreliable narrator" tool that I love so much.

4 - Chloe Moretz plays Tom's little sister Rachel, and she just might be my new favorite character in all of movie-dom.

5 - Despite a rather inflammatory opening line, the movie actually REFUSES to villainize the titular heartbreaker. Summer is straightforward from the beginning about her intentions, and remains sympathetic and human right up to the end. There's no simplification, no "she is a WHORE and therefore we HATES her." She's definitely flawed - definitely human - but she's by no means evil, which makes her the perfect foil for Tom and his clinginess.

And, really, that's all I can say about it.

500 Days of Summer, I haven't know you very long, but I can already tell that I'll love you forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: The Prestige

Y'ever hear that question, "Which is better: the book, or the movie?" I absolutely hate that question. Hate it, hate it, hate it. Ultimately, it's meaningless. Sure, MOST movie adaptations of books suck harder than a jet-engine powered vacuum cleaner, but not EVERY adaptation is terrible. When the person making the adaptation gets it right, they learn to adjust the story from the book as needed to play to the strengths of the movie format.

Some movies blow it. Some get it right. Some get it so right that the movie actually TRANSCENDS the source material.

Take, for example, Christopher Nolan's The Prestige. Now, there's a book out there by Christopher Priest, and it's pretty good. But the movie... oh, I LOVE the movie.

I can't tell you exactly why without getting into a few spoilers, but the movie's gettin' on five years old, so it's kinda your own fault if you don't know this stuff by now.

1 - The movie itself works a lot like a magician's illusion - at least as magic tricks play out in the constraints of the story. Christopher Nolan starts the story at the end - pretty much telling you what he's going to do like a magician announcing that he's going to pull a rabbit from a hat. The non-linear nature of the story serves as misdirection, and the twist... oh, the twists are delicious. All the hints are there, but they usually don't register until the final reveal at the end - and you're kinda left wondering how Nolan did it.

2 - Unlike The Sixth Sense, which has a pretty well-executed twist ending but doesn't really merit more than two or three views, The Prestige holds up to repeated viewings - partly because of HOW MANY subtle, clever hints are scattered throughout the movie. The ENTIRE time, all of the characters are telling you EXACTLY what's going on, but, for the most part, you don't realize their doing it. Part of the reason is that what Hugh Jackman and Christian Bale are actually doing behind the scenes is SO bizarre that you don't actually WANT to know. As Michael Caine says, "You want to be fooled."

3 - The Prestige is full of my favorite actors. Scarlett Johansson... not so much. But Christian Bale, Michael Cain... even David Bowie and Andy Serkis put in great turns. And speaking of actors...

4 - I'm not a huge fan of Hugh Jackman. I like the guy well enough as Wolverine, and Kate and Leopold was... terrible. However, this is BY FAR his best performance as far as I'm concerned. There's a scene where Jackman plays both the magician Angier and his physical double, the drunken Root. I LOVE how well Root is able to imitate Angier - but that shouldn't be a surprise, since it's still Hugh Jackman. What really catches my attention, though, is the condescension Jackman throws in while playing Root who's playing Angier. It's delightfully chilling, and, as far as I'm concerned, one of the pivotal scenes in the whole movie.

5 - Christopher Nolan seems to like to make "thinking movies." Inception wasn't quite as smart as everyone seems to think it was, but there are a lot of deep themes hidden behind the heisty action. Even The Dark Knight aspires to be more than a super hero slap fest. To me, The Prestige is all about identity - how fluid and transcient it can be. See the Root scene I referenced above or... heck, ANY of the major plot twists.

6 - I like me some dark entertainment, and The Prestige is wonderfully dark and atmospheric. The tone's set right from the beginning with a magic show that goes horribly wrong and continues straight through to Thom Yorke's haunting song "Analyse" at the conclusion.

The Prestige asks if you're watching closely. You'd better, because it's totally worth it, and that's why I love it forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: Batman

No list of “Things I’ll Love Forever” would be complete without Batman. In fact, a lot of people are probably surprised that I didn’t START with Batman.

(Image from Batman and the Monster Men)

The Caped Crusader’s been a big part of my life ever since I was a kid. At five years old, I caught reruns of Adam West’s Batman on TV, and I used to race home after school to catch the latest episode of Batman: The Animated Series. I don’t think I’d actually ever READ a Batman comic at that time (comic books aren’t really something I picked up until… actually, a few years ago), but I always loved the mystery, action, and colorful characters of a Batman adventure. To this day, when I read Batman comics, the Dark Knight himself speaks with the voice of Kevin Conroy, and Mark Hamill speaks for the Joker.

Rather than list the reasons I like Batman (that post would go on for pages, and I’d prefer to hand write that one, so I could doodle little hearts and arrows in the margins as I wrote), I’ve decided to make a brief list of my favorite Batman collections – the ones that stand as exemplary comic narratives as well as simple, kick-@## Batman stories.

5 – In the late 1980s, two “graphic novels” hit the stands that changed the tone of the comics medium much darker and more “adult”. The first was Alan Moore’s Watchmen, which hit movie theaters last year and featured casual rape and giant naked God-men. The other was Frank Miller’s THE DARK KNIGHT RETURNS, which imagines a future where the government has turned against super heroes, violent crime is on the rise, and a retired Bruce Wayne dons the cape and cowl against the wishes of… pretty much everyone.

Highlights: The community reacts to Batman’s return in panels shaped like television screens, Batman has a final, fatal showdown with a crazed, obsessed (and enamored Joker), and Superman gets his red briefs handed to him by a sixty-year-old Bruce Wayne in a robot suit.

4 – An alternative take on the “Batman of the Future” story – although, in my mind, a bit superior – BATMAN: YEAR 100 shows how a super-authoritarian Gotham City tries to maintain control, and how the mythical maniac Batman teams up with Commissioner Gordon’s grandson to take them down.

Highlights: Batman’s suit – normally some strange Kevlar/spandex hybrid typical among superhero types – consists of a warm thermal sweater, army boots, gloves (that occasionally show his wrists), and ceramic teeth to really give him the monster look when he needs it. It’s a small thing, but by far the most memorable aspect of the comic.

3 – Frank Miller’s second take on the Batman mythos resulted in Batman: Year One, the definitive Batman origin story. This comic weaves together the story of Batman’s first year in Gotham City and a young Jim Gordon’s first year on the Gotham police force. This story focuses as much on Commissioner Gordon as it does on Batman. Sometimes, I think Gordon’s actually the stronger character – so the story draws a lot of strength from his presence.

Highlights: Gordon puts the beat down on a corrupt cop, Bruce Wayne dives off a bridge to save Gordon’s son, and Batman summons a swarm of bats to escape pursuing police officers (a scene that was lifted from Year One and placed directly into Christopher Nolan’s Batman Begins).

2 – Grant Morrison is one of the best comics writers in the industry. Normally, I don’t really care for his work on Batman, but Arkham Asylum: A Serious House on a Serious Earth is easily one of the best comic books ever written, ever. I mean, ever. A rebellion of the Arkham Asylum inmates draws Batman into a trap, where he faces all of his inner demons personified in his colorful and deadly rogues’ gallery.

Highlights: Morrison turns the scary up on the Mad Hatter, the history of Arkham Asylum is revealed (and is every bit as frightening as a Halloween night in a torch-lit cemetery), and the artwork… is DANG good.

1 – In my mind, Batman and the Monster Men is, bar none, the best Batman comic extant. To most people, it’s nothing special – a run-of-the-mill murder mystery. A B-list Bat-villain, Hugo Strange, genetically engineers a small army of monsters in his quest for genetic perfection. Batman interferes as only Batman knows how. For an ordinary story, though, Batman and the Monster Men hits all the right notes – we see Batman as detective, as martial-artist, and… as romancer. Which I don’t care so much about. But, seriously, Batman rocks in this story.

Highlights: Batman defeats the Monster Men armed only with a pair of handcuffs, the artwork is a near spot-on adaptation of that in Batman: Year One (to which this book might be considered a sequel) that takes the source material and improves on it, and… Actually, the scene with the handcuffs is enough for me to consider this one the best Batman story ever. To recap: Batman takes on a trio of savage, seven-foot ogres with a pair of handcuffs, and wins.

Batman is a burly burrito wrapped around a bit of Holmes and MacGyver, with a spicy evil-clown salsa, and a cop-drama tres leche dessert. Belabored Mexican food metaphor aside, Batman is the bomb, and I’ll love him forever.

In a manly, heterosexual way, of course.

Things I'll Love Forever: Pushing Daisies

So, Valentine’s Day… Normally, I don’t really get all angsty about Cupid’s annual hunting trip, but this past weekend got me feeling a bit down. Now, I don’t actually know what single guys DO with the “lonelies”… probably involves small furry animals and shotguns. I decided to turn to one of those “Things I’ll Love Forever”: Pushing Daisies.


1 – There’s a lot to be said for a good “high concept” well-executed. For those not in the know: a pie-baker with the power to raise the dead for 60 seconds at a time teams up with a private-investigator-slash-knitter and his reanimated girlfriend to solve murders by reviving the victims and asking who killed them. The premise is creative, a bit quirky, and utterly fantastic.

2 – Despite my rugged and rough-chiseled exterior, I’m a sucker for a good romance. The romance in Pushing Daisies is one of the best I’ve ever seen. Ned – the aforementioned baking resurrectionist – brings his girlfriend Charlotte “Chuck” Charles back to life. Of course, the conditions of Chuck’s resurrection prevent her from ever being able to touch him again without dying. A love story where the lovers can’t actually touch is heartrending and touching in a way no other romance can achieve.

3 – Every single character in the show – from the money-loving egocentric Emerson Cod to Charlotte Charles’s introverted aunts, the Darling Mermaid Darlings – is extraordinarily and lovingly neurotic, but in such an artistic fashion that none of them come off as one-dimensional. In fact, every character – even the bit players with one appearance in a single episode – is so well-crafted that they are instantly and completely developed.

4 – Olive Snook – played by Kristen Chenowith – gets a musical number once every couple of episodes, and… DANG, that girl has pipes!

(I know I said the same thing about Amy Adams. So I guess I have type).

5 – Pushing Daisies has some of the best and brightest visuals I have ever seen in any television show. They’re the closest I’ve ever seen to live action emulating a cartoon in a totally classy way.

6 – Jim Dale’s narration is some of the classiest voiceover work I’ve heard.

7 – I’m a sucker for quality writing, and Pushing Daisies is brilliant. Every line of dialog is peppered with enough spicy alliteration and witty metaphor to make even the bookwormiest of English majors weak in the knees.

Alas, Pushing Daisies died young, leaving plot-threads dangling like Chthulhu’s accursed tentacles. Even so, I’ll love it forever.

Things I'll Love Forever: Enchanted

Rough effity Monday. I’ve been chewed out by three different people already, and it’s not even 11:00 AM. Well, in a rare display of positive-thinking, I’m gonna try to cope with this by kicking off a new feature for the blog I plan on returning to when I get stuck for subjects to write about: Things I’ll Love Forever. First subject: Enchanted.


Good night, I LOVE this movie.

The funny thing, though, is that everything I am screams that I should HATE Enchanted. It’s ridiculously optimistic, cheesy, and INCREDIBLY girly. It’s a freakin’ Disney movie, for cryin’ out loud! Yet I can’t help it: Enchanted ranks as one of my all-time favorite movies. Here’s why:

1 – Amy Adams. Gotta love her. She’s cute, spunky, vivacious, and… DANG, that girl has pipes!

2 – Enchanted is a throwback to all the best Disney cartoons, and, as a child of the 90s, I grew up with the best of the best: Aladdin, Beauty and the Beast, and The Lion King. Heck, I even loved The Hunchback of Notre Dame. I was skeptical at first to hear that Disney was putting out a live-action movie modeled after their old “princess” cartoons, but I’ll be darned if it didn’t work.

3 – The worst part of most Disney cartoons is the talking animal sidekick. Enchanted had the decency to take that frickin’ talking chipmunk and shut him up. Can’t remember his name, but if you’re a talking chipmunk and your name isn’t Chip or Dale, then I don’t really want to know you.

4 – “That’s How You Know.” Probably one of the catchiest Disney songs of all time.

5 – Shout “Giselle!” Now bite your finger. I bet you’re giggling a little bit.

6 – The message of the movie’s actually pretty good. It strikes a balance between having “fairy tale” aspirations and being “sensible.” Giselle, of course, learns that her “one true love” isn’t the one she first thought. However, Patrick Dempsey (whose character name I can NEVER remember – I’ma just call him McDreamy) also learns that his meticulous romantic planning wasn’t going to work out, either. The balanced approach winds up being a better lesson – and a bit more original – than the usual Disney “star-wishing.”

7 –Almost every scene in Enchanted contains multiple visual references to other Disney films. Some are obvious (like McSteamy’s outfit at the ball – a replica of the Beast’s suit he wore during the dance sequence in Beauty and the Beast), some are a bit more obscure (McFly’s receptionist is played by the same girl that provided Ariel’s voice in The Little Mermaid). It’s a nice little touch that turns watching Enchanted into a game of Where’s Waldo?

Enchanted: You're cutesy to the point of disgusting, but I'll love you forever.