A friend of mine recently got burned by a girl - an EVIL girl with fangs and ice and venom in her veins. Since I, myself, have recently also fallen victim to the devious machinations of one of these nefarious harpies, we decided to stage a protest against the laughably named "fairer sex" by egging the houses of all the women we knew and burning copies of O magazine.
Offended yet?
Okay, here's what really happened. My friend DID have a bit of a heartbreak recently: a girl he had been dating around with announced on Facebook that she is now in a relationship with someone else. That same day, one of my old exes announced her engagement.
(She's a sometimes-reader of this blog, so, if she reads this, I'd like to say, "Congratulations!")*
Anyway, since these romantic revelations came on the same day, we decided that we'd get together and have a "No Girls Allowed" night - which, for us, consisted of playing Dominion and watching the BBC's new Sherlock Holmes series.
To help allay some of the "wrenching heartache" we were feeling, we told some of our favorite sexist jokes, which usually ended with the words "in the kitchen." Then, as the night went on and we got progressively more loopy, we started making up our own jokes, which... didn't make much sense:
Q: "Why should women not be allowed near knives?"
A: "Because there are no knives in the kitchen."
Q: "Why do women always hang out in groups?"
A: "Because there is no 'I' in 'kitchen.'"
We're not very good at being sexist.
(As a side note: My friend's sister was actually in the room with us. So, if you're reading this, I'd just like to say how sorry I am that you had to see all this)
Anyway, so I checked out one of my all-time favorite webcomics on Monday, Kate Beaton's Hark! A Vagrant - strongly recommended to anyone with an interest in history and a tolerance for saucy language. Wouldn't you know it? Kate Beaton posted what is probably the best "Woman Joke" I've ever seen - and one which references "The Yellow Wallpaper" to boot:
Above: English major humor
From this little comic, I've learned how to make the best sexist jokes:
1 - Be a woman.
2 - Couch your sexist humor in an analysis of a literary critique of masculine dismissal of legitimate women's issues at the turn of the 20th century.
3 - Don't be sexist.
Lesson learned.
* If she doesn't read this, I'd like to say, "AUUGHABLAGHLGAAH! WHY MUST I BE ALOOOOONE?!?!?"
3 comments:
I should be utterly offended by this. But instead I'm laughing. Shame on me.
Wait... there was a girl at your No Girls Allowed party? You really are bad at being sexist.
I wish you were on Wordpress so I could "like" this in a fashion to which I am already accustomed.
Like,
First Time Visitor
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