You're Never Too Old For Space Camp

There are very few things that I - a well-documented geek with an abiding love for fancy books, complex board games, and Batman - hesitate to admit to the general public anymore. I like to think that I'm over the perceived "nerd stigma," especially considering public perception that it's "cool" to be a nerd. However, there are still a COUPLE of subjects in the Nerdcyclopedia that I'm hesitant to look into for fear of the ink rubbing off on my fingers and branding me forever a social pariah. For example, I long ago decided that LARPing is an activity too silly for me to EVER indulge in. Same with Star Trek, with its embarassing spandex, dry dialogue, and William Shatner saturation.

Put the two together, though, and you'll know how I spent my Saturday. Double dose of nerd shame.

I took a trip with some friends this weekend to The Christa McAuliffe Space Education Center, based in Pleasant Grove, where we acted out a Trek-themed scenario aboard a mock space station. I have a friend who really likes Star Trek and often organizes these little outings. He needed 10 people for this group and asked me if I'd go with.

Our "mission" was to facilitate the transportation of supplies to a mining colony at the edge of Federation space under siege by Orion space pirates. I filled the role of weapons technician - it was my job to fire the phasers, photon torpedoes, and our top-secret weapon: a planet-destroying laster jokingly named THX 1138 (a joke I, sadly, did not need Wikipedia to recognize). Of course, since all my weaponry was located on the outside of the space station, I was pretty much useless when the Orion pirates boarded our ship and took us all hostage. Luckily, we had a cache of weapons hidden from the invaders and were eventually able to fight them off.

Just as we retook the bridge, though, an Orion fleet flew in and opened fire on the ship. Thus, it fell to Starfleet's handsomest weapons technician to fight them off. A healthy barrage of photon torpedoes later, and we won the day and delivereed the supplies safely.

So, yeah, I enjoyed the outing a lot more than I expected to, which unfortunately leads to more shame. See, if you clicked the link to the Christa McAuliffe Center above, you may notice that all the pictures of the participants feature twelve-year-old children in Star Trek vests. The Orion Pirates that boarded our station were played by elementary school boys with red headbands and plastic light-up guns.

I guess that makes me the equivalent of the 300-pound McDonald's employee who boasts about schooling the local Cub Scout troop in basketball.