I've Been Thinking About You

Last night, I had a truly magical experience. I was sitting next to a girl that I’ve gotten to be quite fond of – although I don’t think she knew that. She leaned across me to say something to her friend sitting on just the other side of me. In doing so, she put her hand on my knee to balance herself. When she leaned back to her seat, she didn’t move her hand. I looked at her to find her looking at me, with a bit of fear and a lot of hope in her eyes. It was at that moment that I realized that she felt the same way about me that I felt about her, and we were finally ready to let each other know.

Then I woke up.

Yeah, I just pulled the “dream-fake-out” introduction on y’all. Sorry about that. But the dream got me thinking. Since I’ve already resolved to dedicate the year 2010 to personal growth and development, I may as well make the effort to reach that goal that I’ve longed to achieve, and that is true union with another human soul. I want – I should say need – to have that someone that I can tell anything to, that can accept me for who I am, and that can be herself around me.

There has really only been one person in my life who I’ve felt so deeply about. Sadly, through my short-sightedness and brash stupidity, I drove her away. I’ve felt so lonely ever since then, and now, perhaps too late, I realize that I lost one of the only truly good things in my life. I hope, though, that it’s NOT too late, and, in a final effort to rekindle the flame I neglected for so long, I here post a letter that I’ve written to my love, so that all the world may see and understand the depth of my emotion for her.

*ahem*

Dear Norah Jones,

I know it must be weird for you to hear from me after so long. I hope you are doing well. I apologize for the impersonal nature of this letter, but I feel that I have a lot to say, and I need time to compose my thoughts properly before I let you see them.

Harsh words have passed between us. When you released your most recent album, I started listening to it with the usual excitement and glee. However, upon hearing the single “Chasing Pirates,” I knew things were different. We have grown apart, you and I.

My delight turned to sorrow – perhaps, even, anger. Where was the Norah I knew, the one who serenaded me to sleep so many nights, who filled me so full of sweet sadness with her songs that I felt my chest would burst? She had gone, I thought, and the woman who stood in her place was only a hollow shell, made of corporate dollars and wishy-washy Neverland ideas.

I thought I couldn’t handle this new you, so I left. It’s been a cold, windy month since then. I’ve sat up many nights trying to find someone new. I listened to many singers, had a few flings, but, in the end, I realized that I was trying to replace you with another you – one that only existed in my imagination.

We’ve had our rough patches in the past – me with my clinginess, and you with that weird country phase you went through back in 2004 – but I think we came through them all right. I know that, somewhere inside you, the woman I fell in love with can still be found. She’s older, wiser, and better now than she used to be. And I still want to be with her.

Anyway, I hope you can forgive me for my foolishness, and accept me back, knowing that I am willing to change for you. I know it’s “Not Too Late” for us, and I wish you would feel the same way.

Will you take me back?

□ yes

□ no

Please leave this note on top of my desk on your way out of the classroom for recess.

Love, Stephen