Showing posts with label Seriously Internet?. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Seriously Internet?. Show all posts

Friday, February 3, 2012

The Long and Winding Road to Braddy's Blog


Here we go again - I've been getting some... STRANGE hits on my blog. Thankfully, I can access a list of the search terms people have been using to get to some of my posts. Have a look (and a giggle).
  • mt receding hairline - That's in the Appalachians, I think

  • clean living, chum batman - Which leads you to one of the best comic panels ever

  • best sexist pictures - Speaking of sexism...

  • mother gothel curvy - ...what? Are Rapunzel's mother's assets really the most important aspect of her character?

  • me:why am i still single? - If you have to ask Google why you're still single, I think we might already have the answer.

  • tatiyana@nirvam.it] - She's such a nice girl...

  • fergie in my hump - Um... ew.
  • city place imaging aurora, "braddy" - I don't even know what they were TRYING to look for.

  • rick astley awkward - You take that back! Rick Astley's the best!

  • "seven deadly sins" + "wrath" + "abstract painting" - I'm pretty sure this isn't what they were looking for.
In other news, I've started attending a book club as of last night, very kindly organized by my friend heidikins. So now I've got a bit more direction in finding new material to read, which is awesome. Our first book is... My Name is Asher Lev.

Oh well. The next book will be a new one.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

For a Good Time, Email This Chick


And by "good time," I mean "almost definitely a scam."


I have two email accounts, as most red-blooded Americans do. Anyone with only one email account is likely a communist or some other subversive. Unfortunately, one of my accounts appears to have been hacked... or something.

I checked my Hotmail address today (sileny_spisovatel@homtail.com - it's Czech, shut up) and found about 20 "delivery failure notifications" in my email. Trouble is, I didn't send that many messages (heck, I don't think I have that many CONTACTS). So I go to my sent box, and I find a bunch of messages with the above picture and the following text:
Ciao! Dovrebbe essere inusuali a ricevere che messaggio sento. Consenti mi presento;). Mi chiamo Tatyiana, e sono da Russia... La mia età è 25 anni.. Io sono tipo attraente, onesto, dignitosa, con un senso dell'umorismo..:)
Actually, I don't think anyone who reads this speaks Italian, so I won't post the whole thing... at least, not before running it through Google Translate:
Hello! It should be unusual feel to receive that message. Allow me introduce myself:). My name Tatyiana, and are from Russia ... My age is 25 years .. I'm like attractive, honest, dignified, with a sense of humor ..:) And I hope this e-mail is not difficult to you.

I am real woman who has a goal I want to make sure this is not this kind of questionable email that people send all around the world .. The report inet and something new for me and I've never done that before I look for a friend, my companion, and my future husband all my life The only thing I want is to find a person who will love and take me as I have .. I went to the shop and I opened kafe-page Web site Nirvam strange way and I managed to send an e-mail is written with the assistance of the employee who works here. I also send my beautiful pictures to you so you might know me.

I believe that you are interessatti meet new people and the will I answer to me, please contact me my email [What followed was NOT an email, but a dubious-looking web URL].

I hope for your quick news, Face... Your new amigo Tatyana

I gotta hand it to whoever has been sending out these emails - they really did a good job of creating a completely believeable Italian-speaking Russian woman who randomly sends mass emails out from a Czech email address. I especially appreciate the way they coopted English speaking colloquialisms to create the image of a, "like attractive, honest, dignified" woman.

Also (and this is no lie): "Face" might be my new favorite farewell EVER.

Joking aside, I'm deleting that email account today. Anybody got an extra hammer and sickle?

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

There Are Many Roads To Braddy's Blog


Man, some people...

I've seen some more rather ODD search terms lead people to my blog. Some of them, I'm actually able to identify where they lead - I went ahead and hyperlinked to the post for those search terms. Others have left me... UTTERLY baffled.And here's my favorite of the bunch:Okay, so I don't speak Russian, so I ran that text through Google translate, and it came out "pictures of the meaning of love."

I guess, according to Googe Image Search, love means wearing gas masks. And that PROVES I was right all along!

Friday, September 9, 2011

Old Friends, Dear Friends

Oh, man. It's been a good day. I just got a message from an old friend of mine who's in town and wants to meet up. I haven't seen Sophia Jenkins in a LONG time - it's so nice to hear from her.


It'd be great to catch up with such a good friend after so long an absence. I mean, just look at this highly personal and emotional message she sent me:
Stephen I'm in town for the next week and I need to c u! I've been waiting so long for this.....I wrote you a secret message that I want u to see and my room number you just have to add this app to your profile to see it I didn't want anyone else to :) U can add it to your profile at [URL removed - it's much too personal and heartfelt to share] You better get ahold of me!!!

XOXOXOXOXO
..
I'm touched. Truly. And moved.

It's too bad she couldn't be bothered to actually spell out "see you," or I'd WANT to meet up with her again.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Can You Tell Me How To Get to Braddy's Blog?


I've been compiling for a while a list of some of the more common/entertaining search terms people type in to Google that lead them to my blog. Here are some of the stranger ones:
  • tuba player
  • 4 weeks beard growth
  • azazel x-men
  • i’m single (also can be “i’m x years old and still single”)
  • wolf whistle for girls
  • fedora fights
  • fiery cocktail of absinthe and crack
  • my humps
Of course, I've saved the best for last. Far and away, "rapunzel" is the most common word people type in that leads them to "The Life and Times of S.R. Braddy." Unfortunately, that includes some questionable... ah... "additional qualifiers," including:
  • disney rapunzel hot
  • disney tangled rapunzel booty
And most shockingly:
  • rapunzel nude sex
I hope whoever was searching for Rapunzel-themed porn wasn't TOO disappointed when they found my in-depth character analysis instead.

Actually, scratch that. I hope they were TOTALLY disappointed. And embarrassed.

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

The DeviantArt Experiment


Recently I started up a deviantArt account so that I'd have another place to post some of the pictures I draw. The idea was to help build up a sense of community to help keep me motivated in my artistic endeavors. Back in college, I thrived off the interaction with fellow writers that workshops and classes provided me. Even last year, when I resolved to do a drawing per day, I wouldn't have pulled through if it weren't for my artist buddies helping me keep tabs.

I've only been on for maybe a month, and I haven't actually done much to engage myself in the DA community, but... I have to say I don't know that the deviantArt community is right for me.

Mainly because I don't draw manga. Like, at all.

(I'll will admit that there's probably a bit of a... "manganese"... influence in my drawings, as a lot of cartoonists and artists I emulate have an eastern slant to their artwork as well.)

I don't mean to say that manga is somehow an inferior art style. There are several pictures on deviantArt that I've stumbled across that happen to be pretty good. It's just, so many of the pictures I come across seem to be shipping propaganda for some high school kid's favorite fictional couple.

So, really, the problem is that deviantArt seems to be full of teenagers. That's just NOT my crowd anymore.

Now, I have found some great artwork and photography on deviantArt, a lot of which has inspired me to go back to the sketchpad. I'm even toying with some other media of visual expression (I'm thinking of taking up collaging - so if anyone has some old, yellowed books they don't want anymore, I could sure use them). From that point of view, my deviantArt stay has been worthwhile.

Still, I've come across a lot of not-very-good artwork. A LOT. So I thought I'd do the internet a favor and put together a list of...

SIGNS YOU MIGHT BE A BAD DEVIANT ARTIST
  • If the title of your photograph describes your model's pose and nothing else.
  • If you only draw pictures of your favorite fictional characters kissing, regardless of whether those characters hook up in their respective stories or not.
  • If your drawing is on lined paper (I mean, it's not like you're right next to a computer with printer paper or something).
  • If the title or body of your work contains the words "darkness of my soul" in any context.
  • If you turn your work into a "Demotivator" and it still isn't funny.
  • If your piece is titled "insanity."
  • If your photograph's only artistic edginess is that it displays boobs.
  • If you draw Sonic the Hedgehog.
Hope that helps.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

"Stop It." THAT'S What She Said

I love funny. Seriously, comedy serves a very important purpose in my life. I'm even of the opinion that a well-placed joke at the right time can do wonders for a person's soul.

That's right - I'm mixing humor and spirituality, and if you think there's nothing funny about spirituality, you obviously haven't read this.

Seriously, even the NAME "St. Francis of Assisi" is hilarious!

Now, I'm not all about "Rabbi, Priest, and Bishop" jokes, nor do I think the only jokes we should laugh at are the ones that people would feel comfortable sharing in a chapel (actually, I find most of those jokes offensively bland and refuse to laugh at them as a matter of principle). Going one step further, I have to say that I like my jokes a little... vulgar?

There's something about "off-color" humor - especially in my little, Mormon-conservative environment - that people find to be exciting in the same way that anything that's forbidden is funny. I fall victim to this all the time - I think profanity is HILARIOUS, and I treat the "That's what she said" joke as a test of my own skill and wit.

(For the record, I gave up "That's what she said" jokes after a New Year's resolution and I'm still going strong).

To me, profanity is a strong spice. Too much of it, and you'll smell like garlic for days. However, in just the right amount, some cussin' makes for good comedy. I know I should probably be indignant at the use of profanity, but, heaven help me, around some comedians I can't help myself.

The trouble is, though, that, in our era of ever-relaxing morality, the line you have to cross to be "transgressive" is further and further out there. As a result, off-color jokes get more and more... disgusting. Spend any amount of time on internet forums and you've probably seen this - people use language of intense violence and sexual depravity with incredible ease. Every time a new movie comes out, I hear people talk about how this director or that producer is "raping my childhood." Sadly, I think these metaphors show that we've lost something more important than our sense of "decency." We've lost our empathy - our ability to feel for and respect the feelings of others.

Jokes about "rape" are a strong example. I know one or two people who have been the victims of rape and I have to say... that's REALLY not funny. When we joke about something, we trivialize the subject matter to the point where it's meaningless and hollow. That's why you almost never hear jokes about both Nazis and Jews - at least, not from someone you ever plan on speaking to again.

I've heard it said that comedy, by its very nature, is subversive and offensive. No matter what the subject matter - blondes, blacks, or bar mitzvahs - SOMEONE will get offended. I'm sure that's true, to some extent - especially of parody, which I love and strongly encourage. The barbs of parody usually serve a purpose, though, beyond objectifying or tearing-down another.

Of course, I last heard the argument that "comedy = subversion" used in a workshop a couple of years ago to justify a cancer joke. However, the cancer joke made one of the workshop participants run out into the hall in tears. Apparently, she had a relative recently diagnosed with cancer, so she was hurt to hear the subject treated so cavalierly. So the workshop instructor came across looking like a complete tool.

Do I mean to say that I can't ever make jokes about cancer? Well... maybe I do. At the very least, though, I think I can show more consideration for those who ARE upset by a joke and not make it in their presence. Maybe that doesn't make me virtuous, but it does make me kind (not that I mean to brag about how kind I am... you get my point).

Bottom line: "No" means "no." Even in comedy.

You may now leave obscene posts in the comments section.

Friday, February 25, 2011

Google Image Search Needs to Clean Up Its Act

On my lunch breaks, I sometimes like to step into an unused office here and do some sketching. That way, if I ever come up with an idea I WANT to draw but can't visualize, I can turn to Google Image Search.

Google's been a great tool in helping me learn how to draw people, especially since I've had a lot of difficulty learning how to draw the different shapes and poses of the human body. Today, I drew someone kneeling down, barefoot. I have difficulty with both of those poses, so I did a Google search for "kneeling," and then a separate search for "barefoot"...

...and got a bunch of pictures of girls in lingerie.


Avert your eyes!


Google's a pervert, pure and simple.