Natal Cannibalism

Why I'm Creeped Out By Babies #47:

The number of people that claim to want to eat them.

No, seriously, how many times have you been standing around, perhaps with a couple of friends, and some woman with a baby walks past, and then all the women you're with say, in unison, "OH, HE'S SO CUTE!!! I WANT TO EAT HIS FACE!!!" I've even heard mothers describe that irrational desire some people get for having more children as being "baby hungry."

Consider this an intervention: That's not a cool thing to say. It's disgusting.

chomp chomp chomp

When I see something cute, I either admire it, cuddle with it, pet it, or, on occasion, kiss it. I DON'T eat it. Violence against babies is, at best, in poor taste. At worst, it's horrific. You shouldn't even joke about it.

I mean, geez! If I can't make jokes about drop-kicking babies, you shouldn't be allowed to eat them.