The 2005 Olomouc Most Likelies

Every so often, when I'm at my parents' house, I take a look into some of the many, many boxes of memorabilia I've let accumulate there. Last time, I found an old autobiography that shed a lot of light on my adolescent self. This time, I found a small slip of paper from my mission for the LDS church - a list of "Most Likely Awards" from 2005. It looks like my twenty-year-old self made off like a bandit.

• Most likely to marry a native Czech/Slovak: Elder Bradford (that's me)


• Most likely to become the next Mr. Rogers: Elder Smith


• Most likely to be seen defacing BYU property: Elder Smith


• Most likely to marry a popcorn chick*: Elder Bradford


• Most likely to find her spouse in an old folks' home: Sister Chipman


• Most likely to take her 1-year-old to a Nelly concert: Sister Robbins


• Most likely to be found on the playground of Utah State, singing and choreographing Newsies songs while wearing Aggie blue socks, green overalls, and a cap: Elder Bradford (Most of that didn't happen)


• Most likely to be found eating a mutton sandwich, while his wife is in labor with their ninth child: Elder Coombs


• Most likely to have the part in his hair mistaken for the Grand Canyon when seen from outer space: Elder Coombs


• Most likely to give themselves food poisoning: Elder Richards, Elder Bradford, Sister Chipman, and Sister Robbins (it was a bad month)


• Most likely to run away from Grandma: Sister Chipman


• Most likely to be seen making out with a gothic chick in the tech room at the local community college: Elder Bradford


• Most likely to speak for more than an hour at his homecoming address: Elder Smith


• Most likely to spend six years at Utah State and never become a True Aggie: Elder Bradford (it only took me four years not to become a True Aggie)


• Most likely to be mistaken for Jim Carrey: Elder Bradford


• Most likely to eat their own young: Sister Robbins and Sister Chipman


• Most likely to win a gold medal at the "Bodily Functions Olympics" in Shtinkering: Sister Robbins (I have no idea what that means, and I'd rather never know, thankyouverymuch)


• Most likely to be at the Hanacka pub eating Svickova: Elder Jeppson ("Svickova" means "sirloin - I'd never looked that up until yesterday)


• Most likely to be found reading the dictionary: Elder Murray (I was sure I'd take that one home)


• Most likely to be found at a high school prom... stag: Elder Bradford

Good times, good times.


*A popcorn chick is a girl who's skinny when you marry her, but the heat of the marriage causes her to expand rapidly.