The Ballad of Braddy and Katie

CONCLUSION - A SPECTACULAR EMOTIONAL BELLYFLOP

(read Part One)

(read Part Two)

(read Part Three)

WARNING: Just... just... be careful out there.

So Katie and I dated for about a year and a half and... well, it was about the strangest courtship a fellow could ever have.

We started officially "dating" in December; however, our first real date as a couple didn't happen until January (something which, I think, is pretty common for high-school couples but apparently unnacceptable in adult relationships). We spent all our free time at school together, usually cuddling in some creepy corner of the hallway. We weren't, like, actively making out or anything. At least, not for several months...

We had been dating for nearly three months by the time we had our first kiss. Katie invited me to go with her to a St. Patrick's Day parade, after which she drove me back home. We shared a big, sloppy kiss in the front seat of her parents' van. I distinctly remember having to wipe my mouth off afterwards. The neighbor kid watched us and laughed at me as I got out of the car.

After the kiss, I went and sat in the big armchair in my parents' basement. Dazed, I didn't move for the rest of the night.

Our actual dating habits were... a bit off, as we felt limited by the LDS church's standards to "avoid going on frequent dates with the same person." Now, Katie and I both strongly believed in living by that standard, even though we planned on dating regularly. We decided the best compromise would be to continue to date each other, but to also go on dates with other people.

For the record, this is a TERRIBLE idea.


See, Katie, being a friendly, pretty, blonde girl, got asked out ALL the time. Me, I got asked out... almost never, and I never really ASKED anyone else out, seeing as how I already HAD a girlfriend. I'll tell you, our little "not-exclusive dating" experiment added a whole GALLON of jealousy to our little lovey-dovey brew.

Our relationship progressed, if you can call it progression, in this fashion for over a year.

The following April, I got involved in a production of Anne of Green Gables: The Musical, which is one of the worst shows I've ever seen. I listened with interest as one of my castmates related a story about how he, at an earlier age, was in a different production of the same show. He suddenly felt, during the course of the show, that the relationship he had with his then-girlfriend was going nowhere, so he broke it off.

And... that's about the end of the story. I broke up with Katie (ironically enough on my friend Garret's birthday) for what can only be described as "no good reason." A tremendous anticlimax, I know.

About a year later, after we all graduated from high school, I attended Katie's wedding reception. I still remember seeing Katie, in her white dress, give me a big smile as I approached. I got a huge hug and an excited exclamation of "You came!"

I brought her a gift, as well: a deck of playing cards I bought from the local grocery store. At the time, I thought the gift would be sentimental. Now I realize it was just stupid.

(Side note: About two years ago, I went on a date with a girl, not realizing at the time she was Katie's husband's sister.)

Since the wedding, I've seen Katie maybe two or three times, as we still have mutual friends. One time, I spent the entire evening playing games with Katie's kids. The most recent time, we saw each other from across the street at a Fourth of July parade. We both promptly looked in the opposite direction. There's been zero contact since.