I get that it's a joke... but this poster REALLY ticked me off all the same.
I'll get this out of the way right now - I'm a male, the latest in a long line of oppressive white male so-and-sos, so I'm liable to get a few things wrong. I may even come across as (dare I say it?) SEXIST. Still, if ever there was a forum for sharing one's opinion, no matter how ill-informed, the internet is it.
Please take all the time you want to explain how wrong I am in the comments section below.
I take issue with the poster above, first of all, because it implies that the primary reason for women's modesty is to prevent male misbehavior. I hope we can all agree on how stupid that is - an adult male is fully capable of making his own responsible decisions, regardless of how the people around him dress. If he's not capable of that, he's a disgrace to his sex. It's POSSIBLE (and I know of no other way to emphasize the word "possible" in text than I have just now) that a woman subconsciously invites mistreatment by the way she dresses, but that doesn't make the man's behavior any less reprehensible or reduce his culpability in any way. Period.
I also resent the implication that modesty implies sexlessness... although that does seem to be the case in the picture above. I've seen PLENTY of apparel that is attractive, colorful, and modest, while it still emphasizes a woman's... um... femininity and... sexuality. Can I just say "curves"? Or is that weird?
Finally, I get the impression that this picture sets up a false dichotomy - clothing either expresses sexuality or represses it. To which I say, "Thpbpthpbh!" It's entirely possible that a woman who chooses to dress modestly has something in mind OTHER than hiding her curves...
...feels weird to say that...
There are a lot of things a person can express with their clothing - respect, professionalism, mourning, celebration, relaxation - that have nothing to do with sex. A person's sexuality is ONE contributing factor to their attire, but it's hardly the ONLY one.
Maybe I'm out of line here. I am, after all, a member of the reigning patriarchal religious order which endorses a standard of modesty among its members. As a Latter-day Saint, I frequently participate in the sacramental ordinance, which means I stand up and walk around the chapel to give the bread and water to the congregation. Now, I like to try to keep my thoughts clean ESPECIALLY when involved in a religious ritual, and when a woman is wearing a low-cut dress, and I'm standing over them... let's just say I wish I had Batman around to keep my mind on task.
Is there ANY subject I can't link to Batman somehow?
So, yeah, I appreciate modesty, even though I recognize that women who choose to dress modestly likely (hopefully) do so without feeling obligated to out of deference to my feelings. Even if I've overstepped some gender-role bounds, I hope y'all respect my opinion while I respect your right not to listen to a ^#$%in' word I say.
3 comments:
My biggest beef with the whole "modesty" thing and "modest is hottest" thing is that it implies that modesty is, be definition, only about the way one dresses. I hate that. A) You can be fashion-forward and even sexy without baring all your bits. B) Modesty is about being a bit conservative (but not necessarily frumpy) and about not drawing undue attention.
I really get cranky when people say "modest" is about not baring your shoulders. Untrue. Modesty is about moderation.
xox
I actually saw this ad myself this week. Along with a bunch of others (some certainly more humorous) in a post responding to how BYU-I is banning skinny jeans. So...I think that the wide-spread circulation is due that. If that makes a difference.
I agree with your opinions that modesty and femininity are not mutually exclusive, and that modesty in dress is a good thing. However, I do know a lot of LDS women who don't take issue with the concept of modesty in dressing standards as much as the way these standards are taught.
1) Women and girls are much more frequently addressed with modesty/dressing standard issues than men and boys. Believe me, girls wonder about the implications.
2) Often the reasons that are emphasized for women to be modest in dress is not to respect their bodies but to protect men from unclean thoughts. I can see a few issues arising here. Since this is the primary reason addressed, many young women may go beyond what they personally feel is appropriate and respectful for their bodies, and obsess about it. Personally, I remember always avoiding a swimsuit in public after I turned 14. That in itself, is not too bad. However, some girls internalize that they are almost solely responsible for keeping men/boys'thoughts and actions pure. That is destructive thinking, and among other things it can contribute to a greater frequency of women who are afraid to report sexual assault and abuse by men (which actually does happen more often than we realize). Anyway, if modesty in dress emphasized respecting our bodies, primarily, maybe that would actually empower women. Focusing too much on the effect that modesty in dress has on men just distorts accountability and, I hesitate to say it, "objectifies women."
3) Many members of the church judge women and their righteous by how they dress. Granted, the church doesn't encourage us to judge. Then again...maybe it does.
Anyway, just sharing some of thoughts I've encountered on the subject. Personally, I think #2 is especially valid.
I think modesty is good for both men and women. It used to be both genders took pride in their appearance (think Sinatra in the 40s) but now both men and women tend to look more and more like something the cat has dragged in. To me, the sagged pants look is just as immodest as the women who walk around with far too much skin showing. Both sexes would be better off to cover up and be modest. I often wonder why what was acceptable as recently as 50 years ago, some people think is such an onerous burden? Modesty isn't "hottest"...it's TIMELESS and never goes out of style.
Post a Comment