Destination or Bust!
Note: The following post contains several disclaimers which may affect your perception of the author's impartiality. You have been warned.
In case you missed it, the LDS church recently reorganized their program for young single adults. Now, there are a lot reasons why the program's been mixed up, but the main one seems to be to get all us single folks hitched. And we know how I feel about that.
So I attended my brand spanking new Young Single Adult ward on Sunday. I'd like to say "with an open mind"... but... well...
The first hour of the ward meeting, our bishopric took the opportunity to introduce themselves... by telling us to get married. Over. And over. And over. And... actually, I don't know if they stressed it again, because eventually I zoned out and doodled.
Now, in my LAST singles ward, I LOVED the age-mix, or lack thereof. See, when I first moved into that area at 25, I was actually one of the younger people in the ward. Even now, at 27, I would have been sitting comfortably on the median.
In this new ward, though, I guess I look a bit older. Or, maybe, I should just say that everyone ELSE looks quite a bit YOUNGER. It's... discouraging, to say the least.
The kicker, for me, came during the testimony portion of the meeting. A young woman rose to give what I guess would be her farewell from the ward. "I'm getting married in a few weeks," she said, "but I remember what it was like thinking I'd never get married, and I just I wanted to say that you're time will come..."
UGH!!!
I'm sure she meant well, but, seriously, I thought I'd long-since outgrown "singles insecurity." I mean, yeah, I'm single, and it'd be nice to NOT be single, but I think I do pretty well on my own.
Anyway, Sunday WAS Mother's Day, when a lot of singles head home. It was also the first meeting of the new ward, so people may have been a bit off balance. And, obviously, I myself wasn't necessarily in the best mood. Here's hoping things get better next week.
But, still... Holy crud.
13 comments:
Someone has to babysit the pre-missionaries.
Yeeeeeah, I heard rumors of similar testimonies floating about....not excited about this. Not one little bit.
The question remains: is it worth getting married to Mr/Miss You'll Do In A Pinch simply to avoid the YSA ward? I don't know...we may all find ourselves there sooner than later though.
xox
I have no comments as I have not attended my new ward yet. I was in Idaho visiting my mother and grandmother. However I look forward to this Sunday to form an opinion and perhaps consider the family ward. :)
Good luck to ya! It kinda sucks we aren't in the same ward now. Who am I going to sit and point and laugh with? j/k
Miko
www.fumikoalger.wordpress.com
Well, Fumiko, I'm glad at least you didn't say "sit and point and laugh AT."
"your time will come?" That comment, dripping in it's condescending tones has become the BANE of my existence, and quite frankly, is a lot of the reason I choose to go to a family ward. Although I'm trying my hardest to trust in the Lord's plan for this-I can't help but think that they are merely adding fuel to the fire in regards to the problem that is the divorce rate in the Church. "The General Authorities/my bishopric/my parents keep telling me to get married, so I'll marry the first person I meet after a LENGTHY courtship of two months, and live happily ever after." Until they don't and are filing for divorce.
Cynical? You bet. But then I've never responded well to pressure from others.
Move to California. We don't have re-jiggered singles wards. Or Utah bubble-dom. Or cold, dirty, Utah snow. California FTW!
There was (a while ago) a guy who testified to the men in my ward that the women were praying for us to ask them out. I laughed because I knew from experience that they were praying so I'd leave them alone.
My only comment is your blatant disregard of one of my pet peeves (and YOURs)
..."I just I wanted to say that YOU'RE time will come..."
Um? Typo much?
No, Larissa, I was typing "in character."
So glad to be away from that! I hated some of the talks from the engaged couples and comments about how the women are praying for the men's dates, etc. Thankfully, I didn't get any comments of the like from my family.
You know, it doesn't stop there, though. Once you get married you are on the radar if you don't start having kids in the first few years. Luckily, it doesn't seem to be stressed from the pulpit quite as much. But I totally had a sister-in-law tell me that if I wait till I'm thirty, the rate for down syndrome goes way up. Well, that brightened my day!
Guess I just need to realize that cultural expectations and their immediacy ARE going to be pushed, and I need to learn to laugh about it, shake it off, and be myself.
You would have LOVED the FHE my new ward had yesterday...all about dating...given by the most awkward engaged couple on the face of the planet. It was a magical delight.
I find the best thing to do is not care what anyone says and do what you feel is best for you. Guidelines, my friends. Guidelines. Get rid of all that judgemental crap around you and just live whatever.
Easy for me to say since I'm already married SUCKERS!!! Muahahaha!!
Just kidding, I have the best of feelings for you all.
I love you, S.R. Bradford!
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