Monday, November 15, 2010

Love and the Rubicon

History lesson:

So there was this guy once named Julius Caesar. At the end of his tenure as a governor in the Roman republic, Caesar was called to disband his army and head back to Rome. Of course, Caesar suspected some kind of conspiracy had been formulated against him. He complied, halfway. Shouting out, "The die is cast!", Caesar brought his army across the Rubicon and started a civil war.

He eventually rose through the ranks of the empire, became the leader, and was eventually betrayed by his apprentices.

Above: Et tu, Brute?


Anyway, the phrase "Crossing the Rubicon" usually refers to knowing a pending decision is completely irreversible but making it anyway. The results aren't usually as significant as inciting a war. For example, I crossed a personal Rubicon just today when I decided to eat a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch rather than pizza. I'll never have that pizza again.

It seems, though, that there is a "Rubicon," of sorts, when personal relationships are involved. Here's the scenario:

You find yourself sitting in Geometry next to a girl that strikes your fancy. The two of you start talking over the course of several weeks, and then you find it is time to take things one step further.

If you decide to ask her out for a bowling date, followed by dinner for two and a romantic snuggle, turn to page 5.

If you decide that the best course of action is to invite her over to hang out with a bunch of your friends to eat pizza and watch reruns of The Fresh Prince, turn to page 6.

Purely a hypothetical situation, of course.

It seems to me that, as a relationship progresses, you cross a "Rubicon" when that relationship becomes romantic. There's always a chance for a friendship to develop into "something more," but very rarely does that work in reverse.

Sometimes I wonder if our reluctance to enter into a serious relationship stems more from our fear of losing friendship than a fear of commitment or anything comparable to that. Just a musing, that's all.

2 comments:

heidikins said...

I don't necessarily disagree with your last paragraph, but I wonder why we (which isn't necessarily specific to you or I) need, or think we need, more "hang out" friends/acquaintances. Why not go for broke with a more serious, romantic relationship?

I guess in the end it doesn't matter because we'll be betrayed and they'll kill Marc Antony.

xox

Mitzi said...

I think I agree with the "fear of losing a relationship", sometimes even subconsciously. I had an experience where I was just completely oblivous to the fact that I guy I cared for liked me "like that" because I valued our friendship so much. During the course of that friendship, I re-met, got engaged to, and married my husband and our friendship sorta fizzled. Which makes me really sad because he was so awesome. (And I'm always a little curious as to what would have happened if I hadn't been so clueless to his feelings)